[Recap- Austin proposed Jane. In this chapter, Jane lives the aftermath.]
My bedroom as always.
4 PM.
Mom and I had our eyes glued on the ground where Austin was playing. I had recited every enthralling and alluring moment of how Austin proposed me and how it was the best proposal ever even though she was a part of the plan herself. I was happy. Austin looked happier on the ground. She knew I was happy and seeing me happy, she was happy.
"I haven't felt so happy in a while, mom." I almost celebrated the goal when Austin scored.
"You deserve to be happy. You really do."
"But, what about Susan?" I murmured, "Susan isn't and she doesn't deserve it."
"I am sure," mom said as she tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, "that she is happier for you than she must be sad for herself."
"But, isn't it wrong?"
"Knock it off, Jane. She wanted this too. Give her some time. It will be alright."
And I nodded.
After a few minutes when silence prevailed between us, she started to leave. But, she stopped and sat down again before she said, "He has done so much for you. He sang for you, wrote for you, didn't give up on you when you gave up on yourself and proposed you in the best possible way."
"I am so blessed to have him." And it was indeed correct. Austin was indeed a blessing.
"You should do something for him."
She kissed me on my forehead before leaving.
And I was left with myself to do something special for him. I lay down on my bed and in the midst of thinking, I fell asleep.
When I woke up, mom brought in lunch for me and her. I sent him my picture saying, "Wanna come over?"
"Will be there as quickly as my reply was." I read and smiled.
"Jane," Mom said, "Someone special on your mind?" She nudged my hands.
"Austin is coming over."
"Did you think what will you do for him?"
I cut down the pie into four pieces and started to eat it. "I am yet to think about it."
"Try working for his dreams. Make his dream come true."
I smiled. Mom always had subtle ways to find solutions to my problems. Famous singer. Meeting Messi. Being a footballer. The latter two were out of my reach. It had to be related to singing.
"Bring in your guitar," I texted.
"Thank you so much, mom." It came out as if I was shouting, but I didn't blame myself because I was too excited. I picked up a glass of water.
When we were done, Oscar came into my room, and I took him into my arms. I thanked him for making my letter reach Austin. I turned around the pages of my diary and told mom to take off our family picture, which was hanging on the wall before I saw Austin knock the door and mom went to receive him.
When they came in the room, I said, "So you guys broke up?"
And, both of them laughed.
"Hey," Austin said when mom left. A quirky smile on his face. He was wearing a black jacket on a white T-shirt. A black jean and his fairly long hair were neatly combed. He also had the guitar tucked around his shoulders. It looked like he had actually dressed himself for a date and I admired how beautiful his dressing sense was.
"Hey." The shyness in me was taking over my confident self.
He came to sit beside me and held my hands as soon as he sat down. So there I was, finally having a boyfriend. I looked above and thought, "I hope you are happy." And, I wondered if Jaime heard it.
"So here we are," Austin said, looking into my eyes, "on our first date."
I smiled for a second before objecting that it wasn't a date. He caressed my hand, and I could feel the impulses running down my veins. It already felt so good to be around someone you loved. And all he said to my argument was, "Me and you. Perfect. I don't need a restaurant to call it a date."
I held his hands tighter than ever. He was right. Being with him was more than I could ever ask for. It was so enthralling. His presence was enough to drive me insane, let alone what our hands fitting in each other's would do.
"Did you think about your dreams?" His eyes looked to have the curiosity of a child.
I was caught off-guard. I let my thoughts run around my brain. It was only after a few moments when I let my thoughts take the form of words. "I have only had a dream since years."
"And that is?"
"To lead a normal life. Like others. A life where people don't sympathize with me. Where I can go around without thinking twice what people would think about me. Where I can go to schools, make friends, proms, classes and everything. You don't realise the value of things until you don't have them. How many people are grateful for going to school? How many people are grateful for the things they do on a daily basis? People like me understand the value of things, Austin. People like me know how special it is to lead a normal life. Leading a normal life is a blessing too if that is taken away from you."
I expected to hear some words from him to convince me not to think about people, which wouldn't have any effect on me, but he said, "Noted." And he let go of my hand. I had absolutely no idea about why he'd do it.
He raised his arms and held me by my shoulders, and then I knew why. I reached out for his other hand, but it looked a little weird to be on that stance. However, it felt heavenly.
"I love you, Jane Gold. I really do." He murmured it into my ears as slowly as he could.
"I love you too," I said, "but I know you do. You don't need to say it every time."
And I felt lucky. I felt lucky that he was mine and not anyone else's.
His eyes were stuck on my face, and they didn't move nor blink until I waved a hand around his eyes.
"I don't know if I have said this before, but you are so beautiful. I admire you more than I admire watching Messi play."
"You don't need to lie."
"I am not lying."
And I felt special. I was attracted to the way he made me feel, he always had a way to make my heart tickle, he always had a way to make my heart throb.
He took my diary kept it on the bed and said, "Am I allowed to read this now?"
I nodded and I liked the way he always did sensual things with consent.
"You know.." he sighed, "love for many people is just about deriving pleasure from bodies, but I think love is more than that. I think there is a greater intimacy in knowing the person you love. I think there is a greater intimacy when you know the reason for their happiness is you. I think there is a greater intimacy in reading what they write."
I smiled and so did he. I loved how comfortable he was in saying that. There was more to him than just a great body. A philosophical soul who drew constellations with his words and a beautiful soul. I felt so lucky to be able to love him, but I knew he wasn't as lucky as me. If my life was even lower than normal, his shoulders were carrying the weight of pulling it up to special. He was the highlight of my day.
He read the pages one by one, while I held on to his hands and turned the page for him when he told me he was done.
"I think I am falling in love again,
And I believe he will bring the end to my pain," he read the poem aloud and he knew it was about him.
After an hour when he was finished with reading every word in the diary, he said, "You are as amazing as me."
"Over the horizon says that you are better," I said and it occurred to my mind that I was forgetting something.
"Okay," I said, pointing to the plain wall, "Can you go over there with your guitar?"
He did.
I took out my phone, opened the camera and told him to sing 'Over the Horizon' for me.
He started slowly, strumming the guitar as slowly as he could. It was only after 15 seconds when he started with the lyrics.
"Look into my eyes,
Hold my hands,
And take me over the horizon, over the land and over the sand."
He sang the lyrics as beautifully as he did when he first sang the song in front of me, or maybe even better. It felt as if he actually meant each syllable he was singing. Goosebumps.
As the music continued between the lyrics, he started moving around as if he was imagining himself in a concert which made it a litlle difficult for me to shoot, but nevertheless, I came out on top.
"We could spend our nights,
Just gazing at the beautiful sights,
Take me through your soul,
Maybe I could be the one who makes you whole,
Take me through your heart,
For I love to feel the art,
All I want," his voice slowed down along with his strums, "is to hold your hand forever."
What followed was a crescendo, "Sit with me at the shore,
We could stargaze till four,
I wanna be lost in your perfect and not so perfect parts,
We are two people with a common heart."
Music.
"And as long as I am with you I don't desire for anything more,
As I love you from my heart's core."
Music.
"So just," As the end approached, he slowed down again, "Look into my eyes,
Hold my hands,
And take me," slower, "over the horizon, over the land
And over the sand."
His voice mixed with the air and only the music remained making me to want it more. The music ended, and so did the video. 2 minutes and 47 seconds.
"Why did you make the video?" He asked.
"You'll get to know soon." I smiled.
After a while, he took me to the hall, opened the tv and made me watch the final between FC Barcelona and Manchester United from 2011 as it was the greatest team ever. He told me the insights and everything about the history of the FC Barcelona when the match ended and all I had to say was, "I think Pique is going to be my crush."
And I actually found it cute when he grinned.
"Jealous?"
"Don't say anything when I tell you about my crushes."
"Okay, now tell me."
"No."
"Please?"
"It is hard. Saying no to you is hard."
"Susan's," he said as if he actually meant it for a second, but before my heart could break, he said, "best friend. Susan's best friend. Jane Gold."
"I don't want to suffer a heart attack after paralysis."
Austin laughed and so did mom from the kitchen.
When he was leaving, I gave him my diary and told him to prepare a song from it and he gave me an envelope.
After he left, I opened the envelope first which said, "It is high time that the bird learns how to use her wings."
And then, I made an email account named - 'Austin Smith' and proceeded to YouTube. 'Over The Horizon by Austin Smith |'
I wasn't the perfect person to do the marketing of things, but nonetheless, I shared it on Twitter with the caption - "Twitter, do your thing."
And then of course waited for the magic to happen.
***
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