— Phillip —
They were kissing, and there was little Phillip enjoyed more than that, mainly when his chest touched Rio's, and he could feel the warmth of his body against his own. Phillip didn't mind anymore how dominant Rio had become over the years. He held Phillip's wrists against the mattress over his head with one hand while the other massaged his inner thigh in the slowest, most delicious way, holding him as if the world was about to end. Rio's lips slid to the side to capture his earlobe, then down as his tongue ran towards the curve of Phillip's neck.
As much as he tried to contain it, the pleasure building in his chest and between his legs escaped Phillip's lips in the form of a low moan. He cut in half, biting hard on his lower lip, but it was enough to slice a smirk on Rio's lips.
"I win. Again," he said with a chuckle.
"I fucking hate this game," Phillip growled. "You know I'm sensitive there."
"That's the idea, Phil." Rio popped a kiss on his lips and a second on his cheek. "When you manage to hold that moan a little longer, we'll make the game even... harder."
Phillip chuckled. "What? We'll see who comes first?"
"Exactly."
Half a minute of silence was what Phillip needed to recollect his thoughts. "Wait, really?"
Rio laughed. "Yeah. You asked me for a threesome; I'm only making sure you'll handle it. I don't want you giving pleasure to a random Judy, then falling exhausted when it's my time."
"I asked you for a threesome over a year ago, Rio."
"And I didn't want it back then... but I want it now. Unless you changed your mind."
Phillip stopped, and something cold swirled in his stomach. It wasn't what Rio had said but the way his lips curled up when he said it, the tip of his tongue sliding slowly to the corner of his mouth. Rio had this weird hunger in him lately. It was the type of feeling of a man who wants to eat his whole plate before lunchtime is over.
That worried the hell out of Phillip.
After all, he was finally having some peace of mind and some joy in his life. Things were finally getting on track, and losing Rio would kick him back into the descending darkness towards rock bottom.
"Are you kidding? Of course I still want it. Thanks for considering my fantasy, hot stuff," Phillip said in a low tone, trying to hide his worry. "It's just that I haven't been with a woman for a long time. It'd be nice to... you know. Feel one. With you, of course. Always with you."
Rio chuckled. "I know," he whispered as he bent forward and popped a kiss on his lips. He raised an eyebrow. "But you know we're not exclusive, right? You can sleep with any woman you want. And with other men too."
Ah, there he went again.
Sometimes Phillip thought that, for all his smarts, Rio was a bit challenged in the relationship area.
"Rio," Phillip said, trying to sit up. The hold on his wrists became stronger, keeping him down. The fingers on his thigh slid to the side, dangerously close to where they should already be. Phillip half-closed his eyes. "L-Listen." He bit down on his lower lip, eyes closing. "I don't... I don't want to sleep with other people. You know—Oh, fuck." He swallowed hard, and his lips parted as Rio chuckled.
His breathing became heavy.
Wet sounds filled the room while Rio pressed soft kisses on Phillip's lips. Every time Phillip tried to deepen those kisses, Rio moved away with a smirk. He should be the one setting the pace, not Phillip.
Not that he cared—not when Rio's hands slid to the side and met the warmest part in his body, moving in that way he loved. They were great together, melting on each other like that. Teasing, provoking, pleasuring each other. And they drank from their shared pleasure for a long while, erasing any lingering frustration Phillip could've felt after Rio won their little game.
After many moans and swearing, Rio slowed down and popped a gentle kiss on Phillip's lips.
Phillip closed his eyes and waited until his breathing went back to normal. Took him two whole years to understand, but he could see now that Rio always distracted him with sex when they started to talk about their relationship. Because of that, Phillip had developed an extra hard mental constitution that kept him from forgetting his line of thought.
Still panting, he said, "You know I... want to sleep with you. Not other people. You. And I want to have a nice threesome with you and a beautiful woman with thick thighs."
What's more, Phillip knew for a fact Rio didn't sleep with anyone else. They were already exclusive; Rio just didn't want to label it.
"Tsk. When did you become such a softie?"
Phillip pouted when Rio moved his hand away. "Is that a bad thing?"
"Not at all." With a smile, Rio kissed his cheek. "I'm really glad to see you like this, Phil."
"What do you think about what I just said, then? I want you all to myself, Rio. We've been sleeping together and spending most of our time together for four years now. Hell, you were the only one who called me while I was in prison! You read books for me, Rio. You made sure I wasn't alone, you..." Phillip grimaced, and his eyes stung with that memory. "I want to fucking say you're mine. I want you to be mine, Gregorio."
A spell of silence covered the room, long enough for Rio and Phillip's breathing to go back to normal.
"Did you hear me?" Phillip asked in a small voice. "I love you, Gregorio."
"I heard that." Rio winked and smiled.
"And?"
Rio let out a long sigh and released Phillip's wrists. "And I'm glad you're opening up."
He tried to pop a kiss on his lips, but Phillip turned his face away.
Phillip's old friend, that unquenchable anger, pinched his eyebrows together. "Stop kissing me while I speak! You trying to make me shut up?"
Rio's voice hardened just as much. "Maybe? We talked about this already, Phillip. You have my answer. I don't want a relationship. The moment you say what I'm giving you is not enough, we stop seeing each other. Got it? I like you. That's all."
Holy fuck, that hurt.
That really hurt.
Maybe Phillip should say it was not enough. Maybe he should end things now...
No.
He would. He had endured this shitty non-relationship for far too long. He deserved better!
Phillip opened his lips, but when his gaze locked with Rio's, no words came. Not able to stand the intensity of those steel-gray eyes, he looked away. Phillip found the beginning of a birthmark, half-hidden by the elastic band of Rio's underwear. He caressed it with the tip of his index finger.
That was Phillip's favorite birthmark. He had lost count of how many times he kissed it, always sliding his tongue to the side to give his boyfriend some love.
The boyfriend who didn't really want a relationship, of course, which meant the promise ring Phillip had bought would continue hidden in his underwear drawer for some time.
Phillip furrowed his eyebrows and sat up. Rio's warmth left his chest, and Phillip rested his back on the headboard. Rio slid to the edge of the bed and reached for something on the floor, keeping his back to Phillip. A pang of regret shot through Phillip's chest as he realized that maybe—maybe—he didn't deserve any better after all. Maybe he'd never find anything better.
Maybe this was his last chance.
Phillip reached for Rio's arm. "Stay. I get it, okay? Let's... keep things simple. Simple is good. That's what you said last time, right?" he asked in a small voice.
Still, with his back to him, Rio sighed. He bent forward, elbows rested on his knees, and thrust his fingers amidst the dark curls of his hair. A long moment of silence passed.
"Rio?"
He shook his head. "Is this really okay, Phil?" he asked in a whisper. "I swear I don't want to hurt you. I know you have this really sweet side to you, and the more I see it, the more I...." He sighed. "I just... it's just... I can't be in a relationship with you."
Phillip frowned. "With me, specifically?"
"Yeah." Rio forced a chuckle. "I'm joking. Of course not, man." It didn't sound like a joke. In fact, it was the most honest Gregorio had sounded in a very long time.
"Gregorio. Look at me."
He didn't move. "I can't be in a relationship right now, that's all," Rio said.
It took him a while to swallow that answer.
"If you say so," Phillip murmured.
In complete silence, Rio reached for his jeans on the floor. As he dressed up, Phillip snatched his phone from the nightstand and unlocked the screen. One missed call, seven new voice messages. With a soft smile, he met Léon's name on the screen. He tapped the first voice message and held the phone to his ear.
"Hi, Phil. Sorry if I called while you're busy. I just wanted to thank you again for the ride the other day... and for my very first time eating Thai food. It was nice to hang out after four years in a tuna can. And thanks for paying. I couldn't, even if I wanted to."
Phillip shook his head. As if he'd ever let one of his guests pay for anything.
"Anyway, I'm staying in Old Continent for a few weeks. Apparently, you have to give'em an emergency contact when you take a flight to the mother continent, and since my other friends and family are all in jail or out of reach"—Léon let out a dry laugh—"I'll be relying on you once more. It's just a formality, so you won't need to do anything."
A smile pulled Phillip's lips, and something warm spread inside his chest. He was really serious about that friendship thing, wasn't he?
"And... sorry for not asking permission first. I promise I won't die, so you won't have any shit to deal with, all right?"
Phillip chuckled. Léon would never change.
"Now I have to go. I'm about to embark on an old thing that smells like fried bacon." A breathless laugh sounded in the back while Léon chuckled. "But it still flies, and I'll get where I want in three and a half hours, so I'm not complaining."
Drumming his fingers on his naked thigh, Phillip sighed.
Rio was getting up, already dressed. He jerked a thumb to the side. "Will you walk me to the door?"
Phillip got up and nodded. With his free hand, he struggled to throw a bedsheet around his waist. Léon's messages continued playing.
"One more thing before I go... I'm glad I could find a friend in you, Phillip."
"I'm going, then. See you next Friday?" Rio asked.
"I hope you know you'll always find a friend in me when you need it. I want you to be happy, all right?"
Phillip's eyes stung. The words left his lips before he could think a second time. "Sorry, Rio. I can't next week."
"So... that's it. I'll text you when my plane arrives in Cidade Santa. Leo out!"
Rio was still frozen in front of his door when Phillip lowered his phone. He locked the screen and shrugged, resting against the door frame.
"In fact," Phillip said. His heart ached, but he didn't give a fuck anymore. He acted first and according to his heart—his mind and the consequences be damned. "In fact, what you're giving is not enough, Rio. Let's end this here, all right?" He smiled and echoed the words he had just heard. "I want you to be happy. And I guess it won't be with me."
Rio scoffed. He lowered his eyes and slid his hands into his pockets. "Okay. If that's what you really want."
"It's not, Rio. But"—Phillip rubbed his face and sighed—"I want a relationship. If that's something you can't give me, then I'll move on."
"Okay." Rio took in a deep breath and curled a strand of his hair around an index finger. Phillip knew he wanted to say something, so he waited. "There's something I need to tell you." His hands lowered and met in front of his navel, fidgeting with trembly, small movements.
Phillip reached out to place a hand on top of Rio's but stopped mid-air and moved it away. He probably shouldn't touch him after everything he just said. "Tell me, then."
There was a flash of sadness in Rio's eyes when he stared at Phillip's hand. A moment later, it was gone. "I've been hiding something from you. From you and all the others."
A crease formed between Phillip's eyebrows. "What does that mean?" he asked in a weak tone.
"I'm not who you think I am. The reason why I can't be in a relationship with you is... well...."
He stood in silence and waited, but Rio never completed his sentence. Was Rio playing with him? Was he trying to make a fool out of him? Phillip's blood boiled.
"Listen, Phil—"
Phillip's ringtone interrupted him. He looked from his phone to Rio. The caller was an unidentified number, while the man standing in front of Phillip was someone who clearly couldn't deal with rejection. Phillip knew the type very well; Rio wanted things on his own terms, and he wasn't shy about it. Whatever he was about to say, Phillip didn't have the patience nor the will to listen. He preferred to see what the call was all about.
"Hold that thought," Phillip said, tapping the green button on his phone and pressing the phone to his ear.
Before he could say anything, a female voice rang on the other side of the line. "Mr. Phillip Esposito?"
"Yes?"
"Are you the emergency contact for Mr... Léon Gerard Dickens?"
"I think I am?" He chuckled as Léon's recorded message came to his mind. "I am, yes," he said with a tiny smile.
"Right." There was a slight pause before the woman's voice came back. "Mr. Esposito, I'm sorry to inform you, but there's been an accident."
***
iiirk! <o> Nothing *can* be simple in Phillip's life, right? xD
Thank you so much for reading this chapter! I hope to see you in the next ;)
Please vote if you had fun <3
And remember, if you're ever in a shitty non-relationship and you're tired of it, talk to people you trust and boot that human from your life!
love you,
Ligia