When we get home, the entire house is wide awake. "Hey guys, what's going on?" Thomas pulls me into a side hug as he exclaims,"Celebration baby!" He clinked his beer bottle with Marc's. "What are we celebrating?" Xavi inquires as he gives Marc a supportive fist bump. "We finally got the rental house we wanted. In two weeks Thomas and I will be moving out." More beer bottles clinked. "What?? I didn't know you were even looking." I take the beer Thomas offers me. "Well, that was always the plan," he tells me, "We were just dead set on this one house. All we had to do was wait for the current lease to run out." David rounds the corner from the kitchen with his arms outstretched wide. "Finally! Get these whining ass bitches out of my house!!" Marc turns to David and laughs. "Hey, you're gonna miss this bitch ass when you want a pitch in for food or booze." Ethan decides to add his two cents. "He's got a good point there man." I shake my head and smile.
"Hey," I sat on the couch between Thomas and Ethan. "Hey you" Ethan nudges my leg and smiles. "Can we talk later?" He bites his lip as he looks me up and down. "Baby, we can do anything you want later....." He keeps his voice low so only I can hear him. "I think we will start with just talking." He winks and leans back, drawing his beer to his lips. "Your call babe." He rests his arm on the back of the couch. Casually he runs his fingers between my shoulders. I turn and give him a look that makes him chuckle. "What?" My lips curl upward and his eyes lock with mine. "You know what." A shadow moves close and I pull away just as my brother appears."What are we whispering about over here?" Xavi sits beside Ethan and he sits up, moving his arm from around me. "Just how much money we'll save on liquor each month once Marc is finally gone." Everyone laughs, nodding their heads or sharing a fist bump in agreement. "Fuck you man. Fuck all of you." He can't help but laugh along because he knows it's true. I will hate to see Thomas go. I was starting to enjoy hearing about his little secret 'sexcapades'. I guess my face reveals my thoughts because his voice is suddenly in my ear. "Oh Li'l bit....." He leans over from behind the couch and wraps his arms around my shoulders. "Don't worry, I'll still be close by. We can always gossip anytime you want." He kisses the top of my head making me smile. "You know I need my weekly dose of who, what, when, where, and how." He puts his cheek next to mine and hugs me tight as he rocks me from side to side.
'Well, as thrilling as this whole event has been, I'm turning in. I have an early morning," David announces. He stands and walks toward the stairs as we all yell out goodnight. "Brunch with his mother again?" That's the first thought that crossed my mind. "Oh no, brunch with his entire family. Apparently his little sister announced her engagement." I swallow the laughter that threatens to explode from me. "Oh, well that just sounds devine." Obviously sarcasm drips from every word in that statement. David's family is toxic in small numbers. God only knows what happens when the entire clan culminates. As time wears on it doesn't look like things are winding down anytime soon. Xavi moves across the room and is talking to Thomas and Marc. I take the opportunity to lean over and whisper to Ethan. "I really need to talk to you." He glances at me over the neck of his beer while in mid swallow. "Okay now you're just making me nervous." As he sits up he puts his beer on the table. "You're not going to tell me you're knocked up are you?" I immediately punched him in the shoulder. "Well if I were I can already tell how you feel by the tone of your question asshole." He puts his hands up defensively as he tries to suppress a smile. "Okay, sorry but damn, you're just being all cryptic and shit. What do you want me to do babe?" I sit there for a few more minutes before I finally remember the stairs in the playroom. I tap the side of his knee with the back of my hand. "I'm going to bed. You go to bed and meet me on the balcony in the upstairs hallway." He looks at me like a third grader asked to do calculus. Jesus, do guys really pay attention to absolutely nothing? I simply roll my eyes. "Just do it."
"Alright guys, that's it for me. I'm calling it. I'll see you all in the a.m." Everyone wishes me a goodnight. Xavi and the boys dive right back into their conversation. Peeking back I see Ethan cleaning up a few beer bottles before he announces he's out for the night. Once I'm in my room I lock my door. Retrieving the playroom key I go through and over to the stairs. I go up quickly only to find the door locked. "Damn it!" I stand there for a moment feeling slightly irritated as I look at the key in my hand. It's a longshot but I tried it in the lock. It slips in like warm butter and turns with ease. "Well I'll be damned." I step out on the balcony and see Ethan standing inside the doors. He looks surprised when I appear. Quietly he opens the door and closes it just as softly behind him. "How did you get out here?" I tilt my head as my hand automatically finds my hip. "Are you serious right now?" When he opens his mouth I raise my hand to stop him. "You know what, don't answer that." Shaking my head I take his hand and lead him through the door. I lock it behind us then we descend the stairs to the playroom.
We make our way through to my room. I stop to quickly wash up before walking in to find him making himself comfortable. He's on my bed on his back with his hands behind his head. His eyes are closed as if he has no cares in the world. "So what's up baby girl? What's the secret emergency?" He's still laying with his eyes closed when I sat next to him. "We gotta have a talk with Xavi about you and I seeing each other." He sighs and opens his eyes as he turns his body toward me. "We talked about this Kit. It's not a good idea." I expected that to be his first reaction. "I know but the subject of me not dating came up tonight." My words are met with a shaking head. "Still not the right time. L'il Bit, I know Xavier and this is not going to sit right with him. I promise you babe. It will strain your relationship with him. It will fucking destroy mine." Did he miss the part about me dating?? "He is suspicious about why I'm not seeing anyone Ethan. It makes sense that he would be considering my history. We need to tell him before he finds out on his own." He turns on his back with a heavy sigh but his response is swift. "No Kit, I'm not telling him right now. I already told you, it's not the right time." Irritation washes over me. He is dismissing me as if I don't have a say in this situation." Well circumstances have changed," I spat, crossing my arms defiantly. "What the hell does that mean?" His tone is flippant as if my aggravation went unnoticed. I take a deep breath before I continue. Losing my shit will only escalate this from disagreement to full-on battle.
"Do you remember the guy I kissed to piss David off?" I decided to try a different tactic. "Yeah, what about him? "Xavi gave him my phone number tonight." He simply laid there looking at me. He just laid there and mother fucking looked at me. No reaction, no anger, nor any jealousy showed on his face. That's all it is. Just his face.....looking at me. "Did you hear what I said?" The look of incredulity marring my face. He scoots down to sit at the edge of the bed and looks out the patio doors. "Yeah, I heard you." At least now there is a slight tone of defeat in his words. His detachment was beginning to test my patience. "So we need to talk to him. He is only mildly interested at this point. If I'm not dating someone soon, he is going to become extremely interested in what I'm doing 24\7."
Oh my god! Is he seriously not reacting at all right now? I try to be patient and wait a few minutes. However it didn't take long for my patience to wear out. "Let me put this another way. Which would you rather do? Sit down with Xavier and tell him we are dating, or sit down with Xavier and explain to him what you do to his little sister in that room he just found?" Now his face has an expression. He is suddenly pale and he runs his fingers through his hair nervously. "FUCK!" He just looks pissed off. For real? What the hell does he have to be pissed off about? "Are you really getting angry right now? If so, please tell me it's about my phone number being handed out. Because if you're pissed that we have to take this public, you and I are about to have a serious problem."
I'm done talking about this because he obviously isn't going to man up. I watch him pace at the foot of my bed for a moment lost in his thoughts. Deciding I'd had enough of this fruitless discussion I make sure he understands exactly how this will go down."You apparently need a minute so here's the deal. You take this information and process it and get back to me with your decision. Either we sit down and tell Xavi about us or I will have to start going on actual dates with another guy. That is our current situation. Whether we are ready for it or not is irrelevant. I'd recommend you think quickly. I'm positive I'll get a call or text sooner than you probably think."
This mother fucker right here is back to staring out my damn patio door. "Ethan! Did you even hear a word I just said to you?" It takes all my restraint not to smack him in the back of the head. This whole conversation isn't going anywhere near the way that I thought it would. "Yeah baby girl, I heard you." He looks at me with a smile then reaches over to gently caress my cheek with the back of his hand. Bringing his lips to mine he kisses me softly and slowly. I feel butterflies in my stomach and involuntarily moan against his lips. I feel his mouth curl into a smile before he backs away. "Get some sleep, pussycat. We'll talk more tomorrow."
With that said, he quietly opens my door, checking first to see if the coast is clear. Poking his head in one last time, he winks before closing the door behind him. I have faith he will make the right choice. Maybe he's just feeling panicked. I did spring this on him without any warning. Honestly I'm a little surprised. There should be no doubt about what we should do if he had the type of feelings for me he so adamantly declared. Changing into my pajamas I climbed into bed. Closing my eyes I try to push all of this from my mind so I can sleep. Hopefully everything will look clearer in the light of day.
*** *** ***
The next morning I text Ethan to come to my room. He's there in a flash with a goofy grin on his face. He's not prepared when my words meet him at the door. "Ethan, have you given any more thought to what we discussed?" His shoulders slumped with a deep sigh. I instantly know I won't like what I'm about to hear. "Lil, Bit...." He comes and sits beside me taking my hands into his. He looks at me with loving eyes as he smiles. "I still think it's a bad idea KitKat. What with my history with girls and all the shit he knows....... Plus he's made it perfectly clear to his friends you are off limits. No exceptions."
I feel irritation rising in my blood and I pull my hands from his. "So what the hell am I supposed to do Ethan? I can't just suddenly be reformed after moving into a house with five guys. What the fuck kind of sense does that make?" He looks at his lap and takes my hand again. He plays with my fingers, rolling them together and linking them through his. "No, you're right......... you can't just suddenly lose all interest in men. That is definitely suspicious." I look at him and wait to see where this is going. He keeps his head down and fidgets with my fingers. The silence slowly starts to become uncomfortable then his words hit my waiting ears. "You're gonna have to do it Kit." I feel like the wind is knocked out of me. Suddenly the air in the room is almost too thick to breathe. "Excuse me?" I pull my hand back again as I wait for further clarification."You're going to have to go on a date or two." He lazily lifts his head and his eyes meet mine. My expression must be one of shock or disgust, maybe pain or betrayal. All I know is he reaches for me and pulls my body into his.
"Baby wait. I don't mean that like you think. I meant just a friend that you can do something casual with to satisfy Xavi." I pulled back so I could have a better view of his face. "I don't want you dating anyone but if Xavi thinks you are then we are good baby." I'm mad as hell, but at the moment I feel hurt more. "Why can't you just talk to him?" I look at him and my eyes brim with tears. He was the one who brought feelings to the table. Why is he suddenly shying away from them? Am I just not worth the fight to him? "I told you why Kit. Trust me, it's not the right move for any of us right now." He reaches out and brushes my hair behind my ear. "Xavier has already picked someone to push at me," I snap as my anger begins to override all other emotions. "Good, become friends with this guy. If Xavi already likes him that's even better," he responds. He doesn't seem phased by that news nor did he notice my standoffish tone.
"I can't believe you're saying this." I just want him to go. I don't want to talk to him anymore right now. Turning away from him I grab my pillow and lay across my bed. "Don't be like that Kit, you have to look at it from my side." He tries to rub my back but I move away from him."I just want to be alone please. Can you go?" I don't look his way and he doesn't reach my way again. "KitKat-" He tries but I cut off his words with my own. "Please Ethan......please just go." Neither of us move or speak for a minute or two.
Finally I hear him sigh and the bed dips when he stands. I don't hear anything else until the sound of my door closing softly cuts through the silence. I close my eyes and tears roll down my cheeks.