B R E N
It was late morning, and Madie continued to sleep peacefully. At least three feet of white, pristine sheets spanned between us. An entire ray of sun filled that gap. A pile of pillows separated our heads. But none of that mattered; I think I felt her heartbeat from here.
It was hard to believe any of this. Hope threatened to fill me, even though I knew it was a dangerous emotion. But right now, Madie and I were safe.
I didn't want her to wake up and notice me staring, so I slipped from beneath the heavy comforter and softly padded across the room, trying not to rouse the strawberry-blonde beauty.
I wanted to scope out the rest of his giant place.
I'd peeked into the other bedrooms last night, and they were pretty similar to the master suite, only smaller. The rooms were stark white and contemporary, any splashes of color provided by the ocean views. But I was curious what the rest of the house was like, and I wound my way down the stairs, trying to tread lightly. Every step seemed to echo through the house.
Another ocean scene greeted me as I emerged into the open-concept expanse of the main floor. This time I could also see the tan strip of sand just beyond the sliding back door. But the panoramic was a bit obstructed by a slab of black, glassy stone. It rose up to the high ceilings, filling the space between sets of enormous windows on the wall. A sleek, little fireplace sat at the base of the black stone, which was surrounded by a snow-white sectional couch.
I sighed—half in amazement and half in bewilderment that anyone had this kind of money for a second home.
Then I turned toward the kitchen, with its massive marble island and polished appliances, and I searched for one machine in particular. If there was one skill I'd learned in Oakland, it was how to make a mean cup of coffee. I couldn't create precisely what Madie liked since we didn't have any milk, but I could at least brew something hot for our first morning in Malibu.
After finding everything I was looking for, I sat back, watching as the stream of dark brown liquid pooled into the glass carafe.
The sound of quick footsteps brought me out of my meditative state. Spinning around, I saw Madie flying down the staircase. That big t-shirt of hers slid off one shoulder as she hurried, keeping her eyes down. But then she lifted her head and saw me.
Her steps slowed.
"Good morning," I said, smiling. Laughing a little at her speedy approach, I added, "Hungry or something?"
Madie didn't smile back. There was a little crease in her forehead as she bit her lip and continued to cross the distance between us. Without saying a word, she slipped her arms beneath mine and wrapped them around my waist.
Hugging her back, I frowned. "Hey, what's wrong?" She didn't reply, so I gave her a little shake. "Talk to me."
"You were gone again." She mumbled the words into my chest. I felt the vibration and her warm breath through my thin shirt. I closed my eyes for a minute, holding her tighter. God, I was such a dick. I should have stayed with her in bed. There was a reason she'd asked me to sleep in there, after all.
"I'm sorry, Madie. But I'm not gone, okay? I just came down to make some coffee." I opened my eyes again. "Did you want some?"
She nestled her head against my chest as if trying to bury herself inside my heart. But hell, she was already there. "I don't like coffee."
"What?" I pulled her back so I could see her face. "I've made you coffee countless times at The Grounds."
She winced a bit and blinked up at me beneath her eyelashes. "I just mean I don't like black coffee."
I nodded, scratching my head as I surveyed the kitchen again. "Well, I found some vanilla we could add, because I know you usually order vanilla lattes. Later, we could go get some milk and other groceries."
Madie grabbed my chin. Her touch was light, but she forced me to look back at her. "Bren, don't worry about the milk and the vanilla."
"I'm just trying—"
"I liked the barista more than I liked the vanilla lattes at The Grounds." She smiled, and it was so sweet. "Luckily, he's already here."
I didn't have a chance to respond before she spun out of my arms—which was probably good because I didn't know what I'd say. My mouth gaped open a bit as Madie trapezed about the living room, the grin staying on her face as she looked around.
"This place is amazing."
"I'll say," I said, finding my voice.
Madie sank into the couch and sighed. "I should probably get started on my homework."
"No," I said, shaking my head. "No homework today for you. Or me. Take the chance just to breathe, Madie."
She looked at me like I'd gone mad, and I chuckled.
"At least the morning?" I asked, pleading a little. "Look." I pointed to the crashing waves on the other side of the windows. "The ocean is calling." It was nearly noon, and the sun was bright overhead.
Madie's gaze flicked between me and the empty, inviting shore. She eventually relented, and soon we were walking through the sand, armed with all the beach essentials. Everything—including a random assortment of snacks—had been conveniently located in a closet near the back door. Someone kept this place well-supplied.
As soon as we spread out our towels, I realized there was one problem with my plan. I'd somehow have to keep my eyes off Madie as she sprawled out with nothing on but a tiny bikini.
I nearly choked when she turned over to hand me a bottle of lotion. "Can you put sunscreen on my back?"
I didn't know what the hell was wrong with me. This was the same girl who'd spread her legs and stripped for me, and yet, here I was floundering at the idea of touching her back. Everything was different, though. There'd been a whole ocean between us that night in her room, and now there was just this tiny patch of sand that I could easily cross.
After slathering the lotion on my hands, I spread it evenly over every inch of exposed skin. I rubbed in slow circles until the sunscreen soaked in, not leaving a trace on her fair complexion. Madie's face snuggled down into a pile of towels, and I could see a little smile peeking out.
Satisfied that her skin was ready to combat the sun, I fell into the sand, mimicking her position so that my head was sideways on my hands, too. The blue towel beneath me covered most of my view, casting a moody glow on everything. But I could see Madie watching me, and I stared back. Only half of her face showed—one bright eye, one half of a tilted smile, just a few strands of soft, wavy hair over one pinkened cheek.
"Hi," she whispered.
"Hi," I whispered back.
The wind blew at her hair, and I caught a glimpse of a shaved patch on her scalp. It was covered with a small bandage. I hadn't noticed it yesterday. But I tried to push down my ugly feelings at seeing her wounds; today was too perfect for that.
I still couldn't help asking how she was, though.
"How's your head today?"
She made a tiny shrugging motion with her exposed shoulder. "Okay."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"What?"
"What happened when he hurt you. Or your surgery?"
She closed her eyes, and I was worried that she'd just shut me out. But then they opened again, and she muttered beneath her breath.
"Not today." She took a deep breath. "They drilled a little hole in my head, Bren. I don't really feel like talking about anything."
"Okay." The way she said not today made me hopeful that she would, eventually, tell me. Not that I really wanted to know. I was scared of the ugly feelings and demons that might surface when she did. At some point, though, she needed to talk about it. To say the words.
"I want to swim."
I laughed, looking over at Madie in surprise. "You gotta let that sunscreen soak in first. I worked too hard for it just to be washed away."
She smiled. "Ten minutes?"
I nodded, grinning back. I wanted to ask if she really felt up for swimming since she had just mentioned the hole that was drilled into her head, but I didn't want to be a pest. Madie could make her own decisions.
We lay there. The soothing sound of waves created the perfect backdrop. There was a little bit of sand on her nose, and I wanted to reach out and brush it off. But I just looked at her instead, and she looked at me. What did she see?
I knew what I saw. I knew why my eyes didn't stray from hers.
And then she asked what I had wanted to. "What are you thinking about?"
I could barely hear her over the waves.
There was a pause while I grappled for an answer. "What's your full name?"
That one brow I could see lifted. "Madeline Rose Lenertz."
I nodded. It was a pretty name.
"What's yours?" she asked.
"Bren Michael Hadaway."
"I always wondered if Bren was maybe shortened from something."
I shook my head a little. It dug deeper into the sand.
"Is that really what you were thinking about?" Madie asked. Genuine curiosity sparkled in her eyes.
I wasn't able to keep my gaze from flicking over her, over the entire scene. Madie's hair rustled in the sea breeze as she readjusted the arms crossed beneath her pretty smile. Her breasts were hopelessly falling out the side of her bikini as they pressed into the towel, and there was sand sticking to the curve of her ass.
Madie was here, on the beach in LA, with me. And that was all I was really thinking about.
I swallowed. "No."
"No?"
"No, that wasn't what I was thinking about."
I saw the questions lingering behind her expression and wondered if she was going to ask them. She didn't. Instead, she copied me, her gaze trailing from my face down to my toes. When her eyes met mine again, they were burning as hot as the sun.
Maybe it was time to swim.
"The water is going to be cold," I said, breaking the moment.
"I don't care." She popped up from her towel, and the determined smile on her face told me that she was getting in that ocean no matter what.
I took a deep breath. "I'll come with you."
"You will?"
I wasn't sure why she was surprised. I told her I'd go anywhere she did. "Of course."
She grabbed my hand, tugging me down toward the tide line.
And then our feet met the waves, and the ocean greeted us for the very first time. And I thought that maybe murky unknowns and crashing waves and deep waters weren't so scary after all.
🖤
Ugh, this chapter was killing me. None of the words would fit the way I wanted them to. Whatever, I'll come back to it later. Love to you all!