I really wish Gulf has not said those words. The way Alexis glared at us palpitated my heart as I failed to utter a word.
''You have no fucking clue what I have been through so shut up.'' She muttered in agitation balling up her fist and shoot her stares at Gulf.
Gulf sighed with pure sarcasm and as I observe him being stubborn, I really wanted to punch him for acting all cocky and confident as if he had done nothing wrong.
''It's been six years Alexis...six years.'' Gulf repeated.
''Gulf, can you just fucking stop.'' I shouted at him, losing my calmness unable to bear his insensitivity.
They stayed quiet for a brief moment.
Alexis then pushed her front hair back in frustration and fixed her eyes back at Gulf. There was no love left in the eyes of my two best friends but mutual hate.
'' I get it Gulf. It was not you. It was me. I'm the one who has a problem with Mandy not you. I just thought we were best friends'' When I heard that from Alex and saw tears brimmed in her eyes, I felt her pain. She had been betrayed by her two best friends and it was inexcusable. She did not deserve such.
I glanced at Gulf hoping it would affect him as much as it affected me but he was long gone from saying sorry.
''But you know what?'' Alexis raised her voice, 'I don't care how old we were but I'm not forgiving someone who thought my mother was a bitch. I don't care what she means to you but we're done. It's your life.'' That was the last sentence she said before she ran away from us.
I stood there still wishing it was only a nightmare while I wondered why Mandy Hillson always brought bad luck to me.
''Should Mandy really destroy us Gulf?'' I asked carefully and Gulf returned me a deathly glare instead.
''I can't believe you're taking her side!'' He snapped at me harshly and this time it was not a playful one.
''It's not about who's side I am. It's about who's more important to you. Alexis or Mandy.''
''I can't believe you're making me choose.'' Gulf smeared and looked everywhere but me, '' she's my girlfriend, Mew.'' He asserted and I hated to hear that all the time. It had always been Mandy his entire life and I was sick of it. He could have any girl he wanted but he picked Mandy and I did not understand why.
''And Alexis is your bestfriend.'' I added.
''What is wrong with you Mew? You can't even stand up for me? Is it because you like Alexis? That's why?'' Gulf began to throw his frustration at me. I could not believe Gulf would made such assumption. I hated him with all my guts at the moment.
''Is that what you think it is?'' I shouted at him.
''Or else what, always with Gulf this, Gulf that and I'm tired of being judged. I know I grew up but so what! Everyone grow the fuck up!'' Gulf raged with anger in a way I never noticed. He looked beaten, crashed and his drunken state did not control his tongue either. Words ran out from his mouth like Poison and I stood there feeling as if I had never known him. He was not the Gulf I know or I grew up with.
''What do you mean?'' My voice began to crack as I realized Gulf was not the same person I was even hoping for.
''Just get over Mandy, Mew. It's been six years.''
''No I won't.'' I persisted and I wished I stop right there but I couldn't anymore. ''I never liked Mandy from the start.'' My innervoice battled me to stop but Nothing stopped me from vomitting out the truth I had been living with. '' She took away everything from me beginning with you and Alexis. I have been spending all alone because you choose to be with her every fucking time. I never found a friend in you, Gulf because you were never there for me! But you were happy G, I cared about that. But no, I never liked Mandy from the start...I can't choose her over you or Alexis. I'm not you.'' I wish someone had stop me before those words came out but it was over.
I walked away from Gulf, leaving him speechless knowing that I had betrayed him just like we had betrayed Alexis.
I realized we have all fallen apart and have lost our way and I knew that things would never be the same. But as I walked alone, their arguments ran in my head in repeats. Who could I blame? Who was wrong? They both had their reasons, they both had their weakness. But I swore to myself I would never forgive myself for what I said to Gulf and for betraying Alexis trust. It was over.
Not edited yet. Please forgive my rough writings and errors.