Chapter III
You stood in front of the sink, looking at your reflection on the wide wall mirror of the restroom, and with your fingers you were trying to wipe away the stains of tears under your eyes. Your cheeks were of a rosy color, your eyes were a little puffy and the light make-up that you had applied to your face was slightly ruined because of all that crying. You sniffed, inhaling some air after a depressing session of sobbing, and you attempted to calm yourself down. You gazed at yourself in the mirror, running your hands over the moist skin of your face and through your slightly messy hair, hanging few locks back into their appropriate place.
They mustn't see me like this. I have to stay poised. I won't let anyone - especially Sephiroth - discern this ridiculous state of mine. You arranged your dress, fixing the few creases on its somber fabric, and you tried to put on a faint smile, readying yourself to go and join the friends. But, why did the muscles of your face hurt at the small act of curving the corners of your lips a little bit upwards? Why did it look and feel wrong, fake in an obvious way? No matter how hard you tried to perfect it, it was so awfully out of place. They said: 'smile and the world smiles with you' - but why did it hurt so much to put on a simple smile?
The smile barely brushed your lips before it gradually disappeared, replaced by an impassive expression. Everything proved to be pointless, even smiling itself. The looks on your face showed no particular emotion whatsoever, not because your heart had become hollow and empty of all sorts of stirring feelings, but because the tears in your eyes had gone dry and you had grown tired of crying and sobbing over something - someone - that you knew you couldn't reach. You placed both your hands over the sink and supported your body on them, leaning tiredly forward with your head bent toward the floor.
Shortly after, you heard the restroom's door being slid open, so you hastened to turn on the faucet and pretended to be washing your hands. Steps accompanied with loud clacking of high heels against the tiled floor proceeded toward one of the sinks, the farthest from where you were. You kept your eyes focused on the flowing water of the faucet and on your hands which were thoroughly refreshed by the pure fluid. However, a flashing red, worn by the person who has just walked in, was able to be seen from the corner of your eyes. A vivid, devilish red.
"I assumed you'd be here." The person spoke with a beguiling tone. You raised your eyes, surprised by that familiar voice, and looked to the parallel side of the room where she stood. Marika?! She had addressed you with her words. Nevertheless, she wasn't looking at you at all. Instead, she was gazing at her reflection in the mirror, clearly satisfied/proud with her flawless face and attractive body. Yet, this is a fact that never changes: Beauty (especially fake one) doesn't last. It's true with everybody, even with the so-called Perfect Marika. So yes, she came in here so she could "revive" her beauty again, using her artificial methods of course. She held her cosmetic bag with one hand, while the other was digging into the bag for whatever she was looking for. "The only bad thing about kissing..." she pulled a gloss stick from the purse, "...is that it always ruins my delicious lipstick."
'Then stop that kissing thing', you wanted to reply, but kept yourself from saying it out loud. Apparently, Marika had some business to take care of other than simply enhancing the beauty of her appearance - frankly, the woman couldn't keep her mouth shut; she with no doubt had something up her sleeve. And guess who her object of ridicule is? It can't be escaped - yes, you. You wished you could splash her with some water or smash her head against the sink, but even under such provocative pressure, you remained calm (or at least, 'appeared' to be calm).
"So..." her lips parted in order to speak, again not looking your way. "What's your name again?"
You sighed inwardly, turning the faucet off and you answered her: "_______."
"Nice name." she purred while applying the shiny red gloss to her lips. You used some paper towels to dry your hands as you were listening to her: "So you are Sephiroth's apprentice? Correct me if I'm wrong."
"Correct." You replied.
"You must be really strong then. But I feel bad for you... he can be really mean sometimes... Sephiroth I mean." She uttered. "It must be tough on you, I'm sure."
"It is." You simply muttered.
"I envy you though..." she said, causing you to look at her again, noticing that she had shifted her attention to her eyelashes, putting on the mascara very carefully. "You get the chance to spend most of your time with him, unlike me."
You didn't say a word in response. Where was she attempting to get anyways? "However..." she continued after realizing your avoidance of answering, "I am not worried, not even a bit. I am certain that he keeps me in both his heart and mind. I'm the one he adores, after all."
The moment she started her cockiness, you considered the conversation over and done with. "Excuse me." You drew yourself out of the obligation to respond to her invidious statement, and you stepped away from the sink, walking to the exit. But before you could even reach the door, a simple question coming from her mouth was sufficient to freeze you on the spot. "Do you like him?" She asked, looking at you through the mirror. Your eyes widened and the breath became stuck in your throat, so you had to swallow hard in order to regain control of the actions of your body. You turned around and looked at her, unable to answer her question although you desperately wanted to deny you affections for the man. You were utterly dazed, tongue-tied.
"No need to deny it, I know you like him." She added frankly.
"But..."
"It's obvious. Everything about you points that you like Sephiroth. Besides, womanhood as a whole is fond of the man, so it isn't surprising that he is loved by all women, even by you." She uttered matter-of-factly.
"What's your point?" You asked.
"Nothing really. I'm only saying this because I care about you. I want to warn you... Sephiroth is a Bad Boy; he could and would steal the hearts of all the women in this world. Meaning is... you'd do better to give up your feelings for him..." she said, turning to face you while leaning her back against the sink and crossing her arms in front of her chest, "... because you will never win his heart."
Her undisguised intention was to goad you into losing your temper and reacting thoughtlessly, but you didn't even bat an eyelid and your face had a solemn nature to it despite the inquietude of your spirit. "I know that" was your simple answer.
However, she was not done ragging on you yet: "Let's face it, darling. Sephiroth has a taste in women that is quite intractable; he is very finicky and choosy, so it's pretty much impossible for a woman to please him. But, it's not the same in my case. I must say that I am both honored and happy to be the woman whom he had chosen."
Okay, Marika. Congratulations. Your plan of annoying and insulting me is working successfully. What else do you want with me? You wished you could say something like that to her just so you could put an end to this futile conversation, but again you managed to show her the poised side of yours. You sighed lightly and breathed: "Good for you."
"Oops! Did I offend you somehow?! You look rather sad!" she said while placing her fingers over her mouth and displaying a false innocent-looking pout on her lips.
"No, no... not at all." You almost chuckled. "It's just... now that I think of it... you're Sephiroth's "ex"girlfriend, right?" She was about to open her mouth to say something, but you beat her to it: "Had you been his perfect woman and the chosen one as you claim to be... why did you two break up?"
"Uh... it's... it's not what you think it is..." she began stuttering. She wasn't expecting you to ask such a forward question. Neither were you. You didn't know where you got the courage to speak from, but you refused to be pushed around by Marika any further. "You see..." she continued, "we were, and still even now, a perfect couple. I love him and he adores me. But... it was hard for me to accept a man who has... numerous connections with... other females. I could easily get jealous from them, you know; however, unlike him... I was very... faithful."
Right... You inwardly rolled your eyes at her saying the word 'faithful'. You both knew that she was one heck of a liar. She resumed: "I'mthe one who asked him to break up with me, not the way around. And I bet that he is now desperate to win me again."
You had enough of her egoistical talk, so you turned to walk away but she had no intentions of concluding her speech. "Hey!" She called.
You stared at her again and asked: "Yes?"
"Stay away from him." She raised her voice at you, getting straight to the point. "I know that you are no threat to me and that there is no way that you could be my opponent in this game, but I can't deny that you are an annoyance. I wonder how Sephiroth got stuck with a pest like you!"
"A pest?" you said with a sense of composure.
"You heard me. I can see this dirty, sick little game of yours. You want him for yourself. But, no matter how hard you try to 'prettify' yourself, Sephiroth will never view you as a respected lady the way he sees me."
"I know that I am no match for you, okay. What more are you trying to prove then, Marika?" You responded humbly. However, your decent conduct of inferiority and modesty was to contribute greatly to her irritation. "Listen you!" She hissed. "You may be his apprentice, whatever... but I'm not going to let you stick to him for as much as you wish. And if you think that you will ever have the chance to approach him, you are wrong! Sephiroth doesn't need you. He doesn't even notice your presence. He is a man who deserves all the pleasures he can get. Simply put, there is nothing that you can give him. I, on the other hand, am ready to give him everything. Whatever he asks of me, I'll be willing to give. What is Sephiroth's need for a tomboyish frump like you, anyways? You are a dull, plain eyesore! Look at you! I'm already disgusted! How could he even stand you?!" She narrowed her eyes at you with utter disgust: "You're just... too... simple, in body and mind."
"Simple?" You muttered, your face absolutely expressionless.
"Yes. Simple. Feeling offended?!" She emphasized conceitedly, placing her hands on her hips. You lowered your head and looked at the floor, not knowing whether you were nettled by her insult or simply pitying her small-mindedness. You closed your eyes for a couple of seconds before raising them to look back at the woman in front of you: "Thank you." You breathed serenely.
"What?!" She was completely taken aback by your composed attitude. "You..."
"I know what I am." You stated confidently. "And I'm aware that I am simple."
"You're absolutely stupid! Do you even realize that I'm insulting you?!" She asked patronizingly.
You answered her immediately, "Perhaps, Simplicity is too complicated for someone like you to understand, Marika." You said those words and turned toward the exit door.
"Uh! How dare you?!" she spat.
"One more thing..." you turned fully to her as you had reached the front of the door. "I might not be suitable to even glance at my instructor Sephiroth, but I grew to know him better than everybody else."
"Ow, shut up!"
"This is one thing I am sure about, concerning him." Your voice didn't tremble in the slightest as you spoke boldly, yet sincerely. "Sephiroth would never betray the one he loves, and he would always stay loyal to those who are faithful to him. So don't try to accuse him of cheating on you." With that, you opened the door and stormed out of the restroom, leaving the vainglorious diva behind, utterly dumbfounded. You hurtled along the corridor that led you away from the restrooms and you could hear the lively music increasing in volume as you approached the end of the hallway. You wanted to leave that place. You needed to go home right away. And dear, you seriously hated that place! You hated everything about it; the people, the scents of smokes and alcohol, the sounds of jazz music, the loud laughter... everything! You just needed to get yourself out of there. You needed to breathe some fresh air.
As you have reached the end of the hallway, you took a turn around the corner searching for the exit door, when suddenly the rapid movements of your feet came to a halt as you accidentally ran into someone who was leaning against the parallel wall. You almost lost your balance but a strong hand was quick to hold you and keep you from falling. "Oh... sorry!" You apologized, not focusing on the person's face. Yet, his voice sure was more than sufficient to gain all attention: "You should be more careful when you walk." His husky voice uttered. Your whole body stiffened upon hearing him, and you gazed up at him, utterly surprised by the stoic expression of his visage: "S- Sephiroth?!"
His tall stature was standing there lazily against the wall, his icy eyes looking right into yours while his left arm was snaking around you and a clear glass of expensive champagne was occupying his right hand. You gasped after realizing how close you were held to his chest, and you quickly pulled yourself away from him and receded a couple of steps backwards. You hoped he hadn't noticed the awful blush that had invaded your entire face. He, nonchalantly, brought the glass up to his lips and took a sip, looking somewhere at the floor with extreme boredom as if you weren't even there. You first waited until you regained your composure then you asked him: "Why are you standing here, by yourself?" His hands played small circles with the glass while his eyes watched as the liquor whirled inside it, and he replied: "Waiting for Marika." He kept gazing at the glass between his fingers for some time before shifting his eyes to examine the change of your facial expression as a reaction to what he had said; however, he did not find much of a change. All you did was nod. You were aware that he was trying your patience, and you were not going to give him the slightest hint that you were vexed - although you were, without a doubt, extremely put out by his actions.
"I see." You breathed, deciding to leave the man to his business and join your other friends, but your steps soon faltered and eventually arrived to a stop. You had to clear a certain hurdle first while no one was there to disrupt you. "Um... can we talk?" you asked, looking back at him.
"About what?"
"About..." You lowered your eyes and let them settle their sight on the floor: "About what happened yesterday."
"Our conversation from yesterday was ended, right then and there."
"But..."
"There is no need for us to talk about the same subject again." He said, cutting you short. "The result would be the same as yesterday."
"Sephiroth... listen... there's something I'd like to clarify. When you said that I was lying... you were right. I was. I did lie to you."
"Really? How so?" He said, clearly smirking.
"The truth is... I..." You exhaled, feeling a terrible pressure weighing your chest. You couldn't keep it a secret any longer. "I..."
"I love you." She said, placing a manicured hand on his shoulder and stretching her neck in order to reach his face, and she planted a quick peck on his cheek. The Blonde with the vermilion dress pinned her body closely to his side and purred through a wide smile on her red lips: "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, love."
Unhesitatingly, he positioned his hand on her back, "No problem at all, Marika." He said to her. Then he resumed looking at you with the tormenting eyes of his, keeping the same intact smirk: "So, ______. You were saying..?" He asked.
With hopeless eyes, you took a glance of the woman by his side, Marika. She was smiling alright - almost grinning - but the fiery rage in her eyes was more than obvious. You thought you were ready to claim the man's heart as yours, but some despicable cowardice has taken over you upon noting Marika's presence. Even after trying so hard, you couldn't simply surpass Marika's haughtiness and possessiveness. Sephiroth was all you wanted, all you needed, and she wanted to deprive you of your love for him.
You had to admit it though... they did look like a perfect couple, an ideal match. She was a beautiful woman and he has surpassed the highest standards of handsomeness. And when it came to their provocative attitudes, they were complete soulmates. It looked as if you were going to fight a losing battle against that woman, and getting out of it all broken and crushed was the least that you wanted. Surrendering to the bitter reality seemed to be the only way to maintain your dignity.
"So..?" Sephiroth asked again.
You shook your head and answered: "Nothing." You couldn't help but to glance at his inexplicable face. His signature smirk had left his lips and his intense orbs eyed you grimly, speaking ocular words of disapproval, displeasure and frustration. He had scrutinized you in such a manner because you both knew that you had just forfeited what you were supposed to fight so passionately for, something that you had such an immense faith in.
"Let's go, honey. We don't wanna miss our next dance." Marika said with a triumphant smile, snaking her arm around Sephiroth's and pulling him in the direction of the dance floor, not forgetting to throw you a cold look from her sinister eyes. They had to walk past you in order to reach their destination, so you looked the opposite way, for you couldn't bring yourself to see him walking along with her - again. Your heart pounded heavier and heavier with every step they made closer to where you were standing, and you kept your head bent so they wouldn't notice the inner chagrin that was soon going to explode into tears. However, upon reaching your side and before walking farther past you, Sephiroth raised his glass of champagne in the air and offered you a small gesture of toasting, uttering: "Enjoy the rest of the evening, _______." His voice was so deep it could easily and mercilessly tear your heart apart. With skillful and seemingly unintentional movement, he let his arm graze against yours, setting your whole being on fire with the merest act from his part, and he proceeded to walk away leaving you behind, all alone.
*** Is this what I am, after all? The weak and fragile girl I've always been? I thought I was doing everything right - no mistakes, no flaws whatsoever; I thought I had become the strong and confident person I ought to be. But no... I am still as weak as ever! Regardless of how hard I've tried, I couldn't conquer my meekness that has been sapping my strength nonstop.
I kept fighting though... I didn't surrender. I fought the unknown even when I was bleeding to death. I've always wondered why; why striving so hard? The answer was never found. Never...
Until now. Now I know why I hated being so weak, so vulnerable. The only reason why I fight, the only purpose for which I live and the only thing I'd die believing in... is you, Sephiroth. I wanted to be stronger only to impress you... to be acknowledged and praised by you... to be loved... by you.
Before knowing it, you have become my strength... my life. What is the meaning of my existence if you weren't beside me? If you abandoned me, for whose sake will I live? I'd rather die than letting you walk away. I will fight one more time, for your sake. This is what you have trained me for... ***
You clenched your hands into tight fists and you spun on your heel, retracing the same path which the couple had taken. Before long, you were able to spot Sephiroth along with Marika , then automatically your steps grew ever steadier, and the movements of your feet accelerated gradually, following the two with a dash. It wasn't long before you succeeded in catching up with them, and without giving it another thought, you promptly grabbed Sephiroth's arm, yanking it out of Marika's possessive grip, and you compelled him to partially turn around. You forcibly seized his black tie, pulling him acquisitively toward you, and you crashed your lips onto his.
And yes... you kissed him.
To Be Continued...