A/N: read til the end 👀
Jungkook's Pov
Letting her go was needed. She and I, had our own demons, or at least I was the one who had it.
We were both hurting and fighting our own battles.
Letting her go was never because my love for her wasn't enough or that I didn't care. I
believed that both of us were better off finding the healing we truly needed without being together and hurting each other more in the process.
They said two lost souls, trying to heal each other was love. But, not in our case. I knew
we would end up destroying each other even more.
She needed to find herself and so did I. Except I never did. I lost myself when I ripped her out of my life with my own bare hands.
She was wishing my freedom came true. She was an angel.
I still remember the day she asked me about what I will do if I got free. You approached my face suddenly, and afterward demanding sorry because that was unprofessional.
Her eyes didn't stray from mine. It was like we were frozen.
While me, if I could, I would look at her all day. The moment, which was actually only a second, ends and she pulled away quickly.
And she did what was unexcepted. It was magical.
She blushed.
Blushing would have been no problem, but what she did was go as red as a beetroot and radiate heat like a hot pan.
I could have cooked a three-course meal on her face. No one could have missed it.
And I knew that she wanted the earth to open up and swallow her whole. But there was no rescue from this embarrassment. It was absolute. Torture for her.
Utter humiliation.
The memory would be seared into my brain forever, ready to pop up and torment mine again when she's ever in a quiet moment.
I wondered that time if you it was your first time, feeling frustrated by a man.
And wondering if ever you were touched by a male before.
Just thinking about it made me mad. I felt the anger boil inside me. It was lava.
And I know she hadn't meant to do it, I could tell by the look of mild shock on her face and by her cheeks that flushed pink.
And how she tried to ignore and change the subject by asking me about my dreams.
It was funny somehow watching she was changing the colors of her face. But even so, I stayed unemotional and didn't show any sign of amusement.
And I answered.
"To have none of them, " I said, I didn't even mean for the words to come out but they do before he can stop them.
She tears her eyes from me and looks down at the file trying to busy herself. While I watched her asking another question,
"What would you wish to do if you were free? " Not bothering to lift her eyes to lock it with mine which made me stand up trying to approach her face, finding it a little difficult with my metal cuffs on my hands, but ending succeeding to do it.
I cursed under my breath about having them on my wrists.
"Ask me to my face and maybe I'll answer."
I said coldly and her head snaps up. My voice slices through the silence of the room making the hair at the back of her neck stand up. I could tell.
She lifts her head to find mine standing in front of her.
Seeing me in that state made her breath gets caught in her chest, solidifying her insides. It takes her a few seconds to realize that she's shivering visibly.
My breath is coming out in front of her face while I look up at her. The heat of her body is melting the snow beneath her, soaking the fabric of her clothes.
She stared at me, her big round eyes fixate on him.
And God she was beautiful.
I could get lost in her. A good kind of loss. I could just lose myself and forget all of my fears just to be with her.
"What would you wish to do if you were free? "
" I don't want to be released, any time soon," he says as she frowns at him, not able to register what he just said to her.
Why? Why doesn't he want to be free? Is living here worth it?
"Why don't you want to? " She asks, noticing a sly smirk forming on his lips while he looks down at his hands.
"It's better this way," he mumbled to himself as shifted his eyes from her. While she nodded, not wanting to push it more further.
Suddenly the door opens and the guards walked in.
One unchains me from the table and the other one just stands there, checking out y/n. Or rather lusting on her.
I didn't want to leave while I was losing it. No wonder everyone in here is crazy, they are seeing her and she is enough to make any man at least a little crazy.
My thoughts stopped when the door of my white room was unlocked. Then my nurse walked in. "Jungkook. Your lawyer called today" she informed me whilst I nodded her to continue.
"You will not be able to send any letter from now on, it's an order" she spoke, pity and worry filling her voice.
While I felt emptiness.
I will not be able to send any letters from now on, it's not that I want any responses but it's the only thing that I can do. Try.
"Hope everything will go better for you and her" she spoke with kindness.
This nurse was kind. In fact, every therapist and nurse I met in this asylum was. Yer I wasn't. They treated me well, even if I was a sick man.
But I'm trying to get better. For me. For her.
Hoping for the best one day.
.