Chapter 1
I sat in the bright room with my back to the thick, revealing window. I wanted it out. It stared back at me with my own face - a face I didn't like. A face I hated.
My face looked youthful and always would. He'd told me that no matter how many years passed, I would have the 'perfect face'. They had made it accurately symmetrical, wanting to make it as flawless as possible. Along with being symmetrical, they had scrubbed away all of its natural roughness until it was smooth to the touch.
The room was covered in white. There was a stiff white bed frame with white sheets. White tiles were on the floor underneath the white walls, which were below the white ceiling that held the blinding light. I wanted that light removed too.
Then there was the door. It was once white like everything else, but He promised me they'd color it, so now it was blue. However, the color does nothing to hide its cruel programming - whenever I tried touching it I got stunned. I also wanted it out.
Silence filled the room, sneaking around the corners and curling around me, comforting me. I liked the silence better than the whirring of the machines.
I heard the door make a 'whoosh!' sound as it was opened from the outside. I didn't turn around. I stayed in my curled position, my arms wrapped around my legs.
"Hello, sweetheart. Are you ready for another day?" He asked in a soft tone. I didn't have to turn around to know He had an equally soft smile, and brown eyes that held their own tenderness.
"Yes," I whispered, my musical voice hoarse. I'd spent the night screaming, hating my new voice. They'd changed that too, the one thing that was normal.
"What happened to your voice?" He asked sounding concerned and I heard His footsteps approaching, making me flinch. He slowed His pace but still approached me.
"I don't like it," I croaked as He sat on the bed, trying to get me to look at Him.
"Look at me, Arcelia," He said sternly. All hints of the gentleness I sensed in Him had disappeared. I turned slowly, my grey eyes taking Him in, seeing the disappointment in His eyes. I didn't like disappointing Him.
"It's supposed to help you, sweetheart. It encourages you to talk to us. Now your voice is so beautiful you'll have us all listening to you and looking at you with awe." He said, sounding proud.
"Even you?" I asked, squeezing in some of my new voice, relishing in the satisfaction I saw flash in His eyes before He smiled at me.
"Yes, even me sweetheart. You have me in awe." He said and I smiled faintly at the thought. It was hard to believe that I could have Him paying attention to me.
"Let's go for a walk." He said, standing up slowly so He didn't startle me before offering His hand. I took it and stood up, my white gown crinkling slightly.
He led me out the room, the door making a 'whoosh!' sound again. Excluding my door, everything outside my room was white too. It made me feel special.
"You know you're my favorite, don't you?" He asked like He did every day.
"Yes." I replied giving the same answer I did every day.
"Why don't we run some tests today?" He asked flashing me a smile, and my heart jumped.
"Okay." I replied, but confusion entered me. Today wasn't Testing Day. Testing Days were reserved for certain times each month.
"It'll just be us two, none of the other scientists." He explained. I smiled.
"I'd like that." I said happily. I liked spending time with just Him. When Testing Day usually happened, there were several other lab coats to help record the results. They treated me like I was superhuman, but I didn't like it. I felt abnormal, like a freak.
"I want to show you something." He said, excitement in his voice as he quickly changed the subject. Usually excitement wasn't in His voice unless He was talking about me.
All these sudden changes didn't make sense. Why would He want to run tests today when it wasn't Testing Day? Why would He be so excited when today was supposed to be a mundane day?
We walked until we stopped in front of a white room that looked like mine. Instead of #14786 next to the door it said 'Varian'. I felt a flash of jealousy surge through me. Why wasn't my name by my door?
Inside there was an average looking boy, passed out on the stiff, white bed. His pitch black hair covered his face from my view, but I assumed he was around my age based on the size of his body. He wore the crinkly lab gown all the experiments were required to wear, but it didn't look like he belonged in it. He looked like a lab coat trying to blend in with the experiments. The lab gown was as white as the rest of his room, contrasting against the tanned hue of his skin.
"This is Varian." He said, pride in his voice and jealousy flashed through me once more. He wasn't allowed to use that tone when talking about anyone but me.
"Is he special?" I asked despite the fact that I already knew the answer. Everyone trapped in one of these rooms was special in their own way.
"Yes, very special. He's the second one with the ability to carry the Red Virus." He said eagerly and my eyes flickered, knowing what virus he was talking about.
The Red Virus heightened all of your senses. Unlike Varian, I was much younger when they injected the Red Virus into me. I hadn't known what was happening, only that I had wanted it to stop. The pain started a few mere seconds after the lab coats finished injecting me with an unknown translucent red substance. I remember it starting out as an uncomfortable prickling feeling before it blossomed into my veins, feeling as though they were being seared. I could feel my blood bubbling as it boiled under my skin. I couldn't concentrate on anything but the blackening pain for that moment.
I don't remember if I screamed and cried or if I lay stiff with the paralyzing pain. I could feel the pain ebbing away, but for me it wasn't fast enough. By the time it had finished I was whimpering, wanting nothing more than peace. When it finally came, I realized I wasn't in my own body anymore. Later, I overheard the lab coats talking about how all that pain, all that sweltering heat, had happened in just a few minutes instead of the countless hours I had thought.
"You were the first, sweetheart. My best experiment." He said, patting my back whilst staring at the boy with hungry eyes.
My ears flickered as someone headed in our direction and He only noticed after a minute. His senses were plain.
"Sir, Experiment Varian is about to wake up." The man in the white lab coat said, giving me a smile. I just stared blankly at him in reply. Once he realized I wasn't going to say anything the man turned on his heel and walked out.
"That wasn't nice Arcelia. He was trying to be your friend." He said, frowning at me, His eyes drifting back to Varian.
"I'm sorry." I said, wishing Varian would die for taking His attention away from me.
Suddenly Varian gasped, his blue eyes bloodshot and wide, scanning the room wildly.
"Watch and learn sweetheart." He said entranced with His newest experiment.
I watched bitterly as Varian jumped up quickly and flinched at the sounds. His eyes looked vicious for the first few minutes before they turned scared and pained.
Then, he started screaming.
I watched, all the emotion draining out of my body because I knew how he was feeling. I'd once screamed twice as loud and scratched my eyes three times as hard. Like Varian, I'd once tried peeling off my skin to relieve to pain only to bring my hands back, my fingernails covered in my own blood. I knew what it felt like when he screamed himself into a panic attack and fainted, collapsing to the floor.
"He did amazing sweetheart! Almost as good as you!" He cried, giving me a tight hug before calling someone to clean up the smeared blood in Experiment Varian's room.
"Let's get your blood pumping." He said as He led me into another white room with a treadmill.
I knew what came next. I'd have to take off my gown and He'd stick those circular things into my skin. Since it was Friday, I'd only have to run for two miles and then I could take a short break before running the last two miles. Fridays were known as the easier days among the experiments for that reason.
After my running session we walked down to the cafeteria, which was quiet. There were lab coats getting food, but they didn't talk much as they ate lunch together at the tables. He got His tray along with an additional one, which I assumed was for me. I was correct, as soon after He handed it to me before He left the line.
"Thank you." I said like I was supposed to, noticing the way a smile grew on his face at my polite reply.
"We'll eat in your room quickly before testing, how about that?" He asked, building up the confusion in me, but I didn't express my bemusement.
I only smiled and nodded as I replied with, "Okay." He seemed encouraged by my response because He was now leading the way to my room.
He balanced the tray on one of His hands while typing in the pass code with the other. The door unsealed itself and He stepped in, glancing back to make sure I followed.
We ate in silence, with me staring at Him the entire time. It was unusual to have Him in my room like this, eating comfortably without a clipboard attached to Him. My heart started pounding as I realized something was wrong. Why else would He be in here, eating and smiling at me?
I pushed my tray away, looking down at the floor. I heard His tray clatter on top of mine before I heard Him sigh audibly. "Alright, ready to go?" He asked, clapping His hands and I flinched at the abrupt noise.
Suddenly His hand found its way under my chin and lifted it until I was looking into His brown eyes. "Everything's going to okay, I promise." He said, His voice laced with a soft tone. But it didn't help steady my heart.
My eyes instinctively drifted away and a second after His hand left my chin. I stood up, allowing Him to go in front of me as I bent down to pick up the trays.
"Don't bother. I'll call someone in for that. You're too important to be picking up trash." He said, waving a dismissive hand. So I stood up, following behind Him. But when He opened the door my feet wouldn't move.
I knew this was all wrong. Today wasn't Testing Day. I shouldn't be tested on until a few more weeks. My feet didn't want to follow Him for the fear we would get punished later for it. What if this wasn't allowed? Would they kill me off when they found out?
I found myself taking a step back, but freezing when His eyes landed on me. Instead of getting mad at me for disobeying Him, He just smiled gently before stepping towards me. I braced myself for a hit, but he didn't touch me.
"Sweetheart, you won't get punished. I won't allow it." He said, trying to comfort me once again. When I didn't respond He leaned down, meeting my eyes. "How about I give you something in trade? I'll give you a kiss if you allow me to test on you." He compromised right before his lips smashed into mine. I didn't even get a choice.
My initial reaction was to try and pull away, but His arm wound around me, restricting any movement. I could feel His teeth biting down on my lower lip before a burst of coppery blood filled my mouth as He pulled away.
His own lips were swollen, His breath ragged as He looked down at my lip. "It'll be okay sweetheart. It should stop bleeding in a few minutes." He explained, reaching out and running His finger along the edge of my lip. I was too dazed to pull away.
"Let's go to the testing room now, okay?" He said, grabbing my hand and pulling me along. I followed, still speechless.
He had kissed me. When I saw pictures of the world before, I managed to find a collection with people kissing. They were smiling and laughing. But none of them had bleeding lips. They seemed blissful receiving the kiss, unlike me. I had wanted to pull away. Did that mean something was wrong with me?
"Ready?" He asked, whisking away my thoughts as the testing room doors clicked open.
"Yes." I replied, nodding my head. I would let Him run unauthorized tests on me in trade for the kiss. I could feel guilt weighing me down for wanting to escape His embrace during the kiss, so letting Him do this was a way to get rid of the burden.
I stepped into the testing room, pausing when I noticed it had been removed of all its contents. The room used to hold a testing table, cabinets for supplies and other important things and the built in sink they used to clean. But nothing was inside except me, Him and the built in sink.
"I recently found out something sweetheart." He murmured as He typed in the pass code and the door closed itself, clicking to signal its locking. "You, Arcelia, are less receptive towards pain. The Red Virus must've strengthened your system. But what I'm not sure about is exactly how receptive you are compared to before."
I blinked, listening closely. But I still didn't understand. Did he bring me here just to tell me that I couldn't experience pain as deeply as others? There had to be more to it, to His wanting me here.
"What I want to do is test just how receptive you are towards pain. Now, there's only one way to do that unfortunately." He sighed as He stepped over to me, clasping something to my wrist before locking the other half of the handle to the metal tubing below the sink.
I blinked, trying to pull away only to find I couldn't. He'd restrained me to the sink. I looked up to meet His brown eyes which seemed to have a glint of an emotion I didn't want to see in them. It was excitement.
"Sweetheart, you're doing this for the rest of us. For me. If I can find out which strain holds your receptiveness towards pain I may be able to duplicate it and place it in others. You'd be saving lives sweetheart!" He exclaimed, his voice rising to a triumphant yell at the end.
"Okay." I replied, still not understanding. But if it would help others and make Him happy I would do it.
He went towards the door, opening it before I saw Him quickly roll in a cart and close the door. My heart began pounding because of the stressful situation, yet I remained quiet, knowing I would get punished if I spoke out.
"We're going to try a different way to test you in order to be more thorough." He murmured, seeming to speak to Himself more than me. So I just listened, keeping my eyes on Him.
He suddenly bent down to where I'd sat down, His eyes focusing on mine. "Do you understand sweetheart? We're going to be saving lives, just you and me. But we can't do that if you go around telling others." He said slowly and I nodded.
"I won't tell, I promise." I said, watching as He went towards the cart. I could hear the clutter of things brushing against each other and I watched as He brought out something.
I stiffened, my eyes glued to the Beta Device in His hand. The lab coats had urged them to push it through, explaining that it would help them gain more control over the experiments. But it had been rejected because it was much too harmful. They wanted the experiments docile, not fried.
I'd seen them use the Beta Device, but only once. They'd wanted to know how powerful it was so they conjured up an experiment that needed to be disciplined for one reason or another. I'd watched without emotion as they pressed the device against the experiment. It just grazed his skin, but it had been enough to cause his eyes to roll back and make his body to go stiff with pain.
It had only been on him for a second before the lab coat pulled back, but it had been too late. The experiment laid there, cold and lifeless with a deep burn where the Beta Device had been. They reported the incident and then there had been a recall on the Beta Device.
Yet, here He was, with one gleaming in His hand.
"Sweetheart, it's going to be okay." He crooned and advanced towards me.
I only wished that were true.