Gachitis101 kindly reminded me I had to make one of these, thank you.
This is a summary of the 2nd book, if you have amnesia or something.
"OH MY GOD YOU'VE BEEN STABBED!" Deceit screamed, running towards Remus.
"adios" Patton said, vanishing from the scene.
"ohmygodohmygodohmygod--" Virgil mumbled under his breath.
"YOU BETTER NOT DIE! I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!" Roman exclaimed, frantically shaking Remus.
"HE NEEDS A DOCTOR! LUCKILY, I AM A DOCTOR!" Logan announced. "EVEN THOUGH I CAN EASILY FIX THE WOUND RIGHT HERE, WE MUST MOVE HIM TO MY ROOM!"
"Can you all calm dow--" Remus interrupted himself by passing out.
---
"Wow, guess I'm a criminal now." Patton shrugged. "Somehow, this is Deceit's fault. I wish I could--"
"Kill him?"
*insert boring ass conversation*
"dOnT mAkE mE rEgReT iT aPatHy"
"oH tRuSt mE mOrAlItY yOu wOnT"
---
"I have successfully used my doctor powers to stabilize Remus. Worship me." Logan said. He looked at Deceit, who was unconscious on the floor. "The fuck happened to him?"
"Oh, he fainted." Virgil said, waving him off.
"Well I'm going to go bathe my bloody body. Would you like to watch?" Roman asked.
"Yes." Virgil answered immediately. "I shall leave as well, then."
Deceit snorted as he woke up. "Uhwhatthefuc--"
"Oh, hello." Logan said. "I have successfully used my doctor powers to stabilize Remus. Worship me."
"I'm attracted to that!"
"Oh fuck I wasn't expecting tHAT--"
---
"Roman," Virgil hissed. "Deceit keeps giving me the side eye."
"I'm sure you're just imagining it." Roman dismissed.
"He's doing it right now."
"I'm sure it's nothing--"
"Logan is seeing it. He is seeing it right now."
"I'm sure you're just imagining--"
"Pants down, top off, let's throw a fucking RODEO~!" Remus screamed, calmly walking into the room.
"--it. OH MY GOD!" Roman yelled, standing up. "Remus! You live!"
"Did you doubt me--?" Logan asked.
---
"I VOTE WE KILL PATTON!" Roman declared.
"I don't--"
"We shouldn't--"
"No one thinks that's a good idea--"
"You need to calm down--"
"NO! FUCK YOU! I WANNA KILL PATTON!"
"Hey. Hey! Roman! Look at me!" Remus said, snapping his fingers in Roman's face. "No."
"But--"
"No!"
"FINE!" Roman yelled, pouting. "BYE!"
---
"FUCK YOU REMUS!" Roman yelled.
"Hey! No!"
"FUCK YOU!"
"NO!"
"FUCK YOU!"
"FUCK YOU!"
"UGH!"
"UGH!"
---
"It appears I have ruined my relationship with my brother. Clearly, the solution to this problem is to disobey his orders and go and find Patton." Roman nodded.
---
"mInD mAnIpUlAtIoN~" Patton and Cassius did a little jig around Roman.
Roman passed out.
---
"Roman, even though none of this is my fault, I would like to apologize." Remus said.
"Fuck you!"
"WHA--"
"I HATE YOU!"
"W H A - -"
---
"Tell us your name." Logan said.
"It's Janus."
"Very cool, very cool."
"I dislike that name." Roman said.
"FUCK YOU ROMAN!" Remus screamed.
"NO FUCK YOU!"
"WHA--STOP!" Logan yelled.
---
"Hello." Cassius said.
Janus started screaming.
"No--Stop--"
Janus continued screaming.
---
"YOU DID THIS!" Roman screamed, pointing at the apathetic Janus.
"YES I AGREE!" Virgil yelled.
"WHA--"
"WHERE IS LOGAN?" Virgil squawked.
"HE FELL DOWN THE STAIRS!"
"FUCK!"
---
"You are USELESS!" Patton yelled at Cassius.
"Call me that again and I'll steal your fucking toes." Cassius growled.
---
"I have been locked in a cage." Remus said. "Oh, woe is me. To think this would happen on this day. Truly, this is awful."
"I HAVE A GUN!" Cassius yelled, appearing. "RATATATA~!"
---
"OH MY GOD YOU'VE BEEN SHOT!" Virgil screamed, running towards Remus.
"Ugh, he got blood all over my cage." Roman complained.
"Wow, he is very dead." Logan said.
"OH! LOGAN! YOU LIVE!" Roman exclaimed.
"I have successfully used my doctor powers to stabilize myself. Worship me." Logan said.
"Can you use your doctor powers to fix Remus?!" Virgil asked.
"Oh. No." Logan shook his head. "He is very dead."
"WOAH!" Remus exclaimed, waking up.
"Ugh, fuck." Roman groaned.
"Cassius shot me, man! What an asshole!" Remus exclaimed.
"Ah, Cassius. I don't know who that is." Logan nodded. "Wait, actually, that's a lie."
"What??" Roman asked.
"Because I have doctor powers, I know where to nerve pinch. Proceeding with the pinching of the nerve." Logan hummed, placing his hand on Roman's shoulder.
"Wait wha--"
Roman passed out.
---
"I have successfully used my doctor powers to cure Roman of his amnesia. Worship me." Logan announced.
"Wow, good job, Logan!" Remus exclaimed. "Welcome back, Ro--"
He turned to Roman, findi ng that he was sucking face with Virgil.
"Ah."
---
"HELLO!" Remus exclaimed, rising up with Roman.
"HELLO AS WELL!" Roman exclaimed.
"Oh hello Roman and Remus." Patton said.
"YES! I AM ROMAN!" Remus declared.
"AND I AM REMUS!" Roman added.
Cassius snorted.
"I HAVE COME TO DELIVER MY BROTHER TO YOU!" Remus exclaimed, throwing Roman foward.
"OH NO! OH WOE IS ME! I SHALL CURSE YOUR NAME FOR ALL OF ETERNITY!" Roman yelled.
"SHUT UP!" Patton screamed at Roman. "Thank you, Roman. I shall cherish this gift."
---
"Let me check your memories." Patton said.
"NO! NO! BAD!" Roman exclaimed, squirming.
"Wait wtf these aren't your memories. These are Roman's!" Patton exclaimed.
"Wait for it." Cassius mumbled.
"WAIT! ROMAN?!" Patton screamed.
"There it is." Cassius hummed.
"HELLO! I'M BACK!" Remus kicked down the door. "AND WE'RE TAKING PATTON HOSTAGE!"
"YES!" Roman agreed.
"WHA--CASSIUS SAVE ME!" Patton screamed.
"adios" Cassius said, vanishing from the scene.
---
"Roman is gonna kill you when he finds out~!" Patton taunted.
"Finds out what?" Virgil asked.
Patton just laughed as Remus took him away.
---
"Bada bing bada bom, I fucked your mom."
"Hello, Remy." Logan greeted him.
"I know what Patton was talking about!" Remy declared.
---
"Hey, Thomas, fuck you." Cassius spat.
"Fuck you." Virgil sneered. "But like not actually."
"Fuck you!" Remus chirped.
"S T O P !" Janus exclaimed. "Cassius! Go to your room!"
"But I--"
"Go!"
---
"So, he wasn't talking about that." Remy frowned.
"Hey, I'm alive!" Janus exclaimed.
"Then what was he talking about?" Virgil asked.
"Guys?"
"He was talking about this other thing, c'mon." Remy gestured for them to follow him.
"Wha--guys?!"
---
"I SAW YOU HANGING OUT WITH PATTON THE OTHER DAY!" Remus yelled.
"R-Remus! It's not what you think!" Virgil stammered.
"I WON'T HESITATE, BITCH!" Remus screamed, pulling out his morning star.
---
They all sang songs around the campfire as they burned Patton's gifts.
---
"Well. Bye." Janus waved, taking Remus by the hand.
"Oh, welcome back!" Cassius exclaimed.
"My name is Janus."
"I didn't ask!"
A/N:
I'm kinda not happy with this, but like tOo lATe