The following week after my run in with Thranduil in the baths was an uncomfortable one. Training with Legolas and Tauriel helped me put my mind into something else, the anger I felt towards myself for being incapable of getting Thranduil's chisled body, deep blue eyes and velvety voice out of my head I invested into training. We started earlier and finished later. I could tell by Tauriel's proud smile that I was improving in sword fight and Legolas was too proud to admit I was becoming good with the bow as well. Then the afternoons went as usual, I was improving on my music skills and in protocol as well. One day though my lessons seized, apparently Thranduil though I'd learnt enough and my afternoons were now free. I spent them in the garden reading, walking around but the days were becoming boring. The only thing that did change was dinner time; I usually sat to Thranduil's left but now I sat on Legolas' left side so he could block his father from view. I tried to avoid his stares, give one syllable answers to his questions and avoided the question when Legolas asked me what was wrong.
Everything was going well Thranduil had stopped asking me questions more or less he stopped talking to me. But for some reason it filled me with anger. I wanted him to keep asking, I wanted him to keep looking, there were nights I would dream we were back together in the bath and that this time we kissed, this time I'd let him touch me and plant kisses on my neck, breasts and mouth. My world no longer made sense, I was relieved that he was no longer interested but at the same time I wanted him.
*
My eyes opened up slowly, the sun shone through my small window illuminating my room and enhancing the predominant brown color of my walls and furniture. I sat up in bed and directed my glance to the window; the sky was blue and without a single cloud. I stood up from my bed and walked over to my wardrobe; I picked out a simple purple dress and a small golden choker necklace. I'd dismissed Anira from her dutties to me, I no longer needed her and I appreciated the privacy. I would run into her a few times a day, she was now devoted to learining protocol and music, when she saw me she would smile at me but her smile was usually hurt. I knew she'd been sad when I told her I no longer needed her, but I knew that once she was dismissed she could focus on herself instead of me. Also that meant less people asking questions.
I made my way to the baths; since it was morning I wasn't by myself but after the Thranduil insident I' rather have people around me. I took a quick bath and dressed myself. I went back up to my chambers fixed my hair into a braid, then went to the garden for breakfast. Today Legolas and Taurel weren't in Mirkwood, they were on their way to Rivendell on Thranduil's behalf so I was able to sleep in.
I finished breakfast and decided to take a walk. It was a hot day outside; the sun enhanced all of the colorful flowers in the garden, the trees gleamed green and it smelled like summer. It was a calm morning, I couldn't ask for anything else. I discovered that since being down in Middle Earth I really enjoyed summer; being up in the mountains it was always cold and we always had snow on the ground. I enjoyed seeing Middle Earth change though but I knew I'd never be a part of it.
I was inside my head, thinking back to the days up in the mountain when I felt a presence behind me. I stopped and turned around; to my surprise the Elven King was only a few feet behind me, something about him felt different, for some reason he no longer seemed so cold and impassive, it was as if the sun was melting down his barriers, he looked happy even.
"My lord." I gasped, I couldn't hide the small smile that slipped onto my face. "What...what are you doing here?"
Thranduil walked closer towards me with a poise no one could pull off. Butterflies appeared in my stomach and the sun became too hot. "It's my garden is it not?" He asked as a playful smirk crossed his lips.
"Yes, I guess it is." I responded, unable to look him in the eye. "Have a good morning then." I added and started walking away. But then I felt his hand take a hold of my arm.
"Care to join me for a walk?" He asked, his blue eyes looked into mine expectantly, my knees went weak and so did my will to say no.
"As you wish." I replied in the most serious and uninterested manner I could manage.
I took hold of his arm and we walked in silence past the tulip garden and then over to the roses. Summer made the flowers become alive, the roses were blood red, their petals looked so soft, I wanted to take one up to my room and paint it, but roses such as other beautiful things were guarded by thorns in order to prevent hands from touching them. Thranduil was not studying the roses, he was studying me. I could feel his eyes trying to search my face, I could feel his hand rest on the one that took hold of his arm, for some reason Thranduil changed when he was with me, his guard went down a little and it scared me.
A small white bench appeared in the distance and Thranduil made his way towards it. I let go of his arm as I watched him sit down. His silver blond hair was in place as always but today he wore no crown, instead he wore a simple grey robe and his eyes seemed relaxed. I stared at him in awe, his eyes landed on mine and a smile crossed his face, he stretched out his hand and took mine.
"Sit down Caladhiel." He ordered.
I said nothing and sat; close enough for his hand to rest on my thigh but far enough so I wouldn't be touching him.
"Why have you been avoiding me?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.
"No...I haven't it's just I've had...I've had...a lot on my mind." Words didn't come easy when I was around him and with his burning touch on my thigh I felt lightheaded.
"I wanted to apologize to you, believe me when I tell you I'm not one to apologize." His words were soft and they matched the expression in his eyes.
"You have done nothing wrong my lord." I responded.
"But I have. It was wrong for me to come on to you like that when we were alone, I enjoy your company for some reason, you're like a breath of fresh air. I wouldn't like to loose you." His words took me by surprise, my heart started to race and my face turned red.
"I don't know what to say my lord." I tore my eyes away from him. Those words were all I wanted to hear, all of the stollen glances across the table, his harsh ways, every time he talked to me and when I responded he smirked, the smiles he seem to give me and no one else...it was all because he cared for me.
"Don't say anything but promise me one thing." He moved his hand from my thigh to my hand. "Come dine with me in my quarters, they have an exceptional view of the mountains." I looked towards him again, his eyes were not too expressive as always but in them I saw hope.
"That sounds lovely my lord." I answered with a shy smile. A strand of hair fell loose from my braid and landed on my face. With graceful hands Thranduil caught it and placed it behind my ear.
"Stop calling me my lord, please." He stiffled a laugh and his smile grew wider.
"Yes my lord." I replied automatically and then laughed. "I'm sorry."
"I'll see you tonight then." He said as he stood up and walked away, not giving me a chance to respond.
*
Later that night I found myself walking up a giant spiral staircase towards Thranduil's chambers. For dinner I'd picked out the red dress I had planned to wear the night him and I bathed together, on my neck hung a golden necklace with a single pearl shaped like a tear drop, I decided to wear my hair loose but adorned with a golden head piece. I was nervous there was no denying it and I didn't want to admit to Thranduil that dispite all of the times he treated me badly I enjoyed his company as well. I knocked on the door and a footman opened it.
"His majesty is waiting for you on the balcony." He announced.
I smiled to him as a thank you and made my way inside. Thranduil's chambers were nothing like mine, they were made up of an antichamber with two floor to ceiling windows that over looked the garden, a green and brown sofa, a small table, two chairs and a bear skin rug. Then I made my way to his room where there was a double four post bed, two chairs and a wardrobe, in the distance there was a huge circular window with a balcony that overlooked the mountains, the most prominent of all was Erebor also known as The Lonely Mountain. I stepped outside and the cold midsummer air greeted me, the sky was clear and little stars twinkled above my head, the balcony was bigger than I though and in the center lay a table lit by two candles, Thranduil sat on a chair and the other one was empty for me.
"Good eaving Caladhiel." Thranduil said, standing up from his chair and escorting me towards mine then sitting back down. "Red suits you." He smiled.
"Good eavning Thranduil. You told me...that before, that's why I decided to wear the dress." At first I stammered but when I saw him smile even wider at the use of his name I felt more at ease.
"You remembered then." He asked as he raised a questioning eyebrow.
"I guess so." I replied shly.
The footman came and served each of us a glass of wine.
"I had the best wine from my cellar brough up here." Thranduil stated proudly.
"I feel flattered then." My lips grew into a smile and I brought the cup up to my lips. The wine was sweet at first but when I swallowed it acquired a woodlike taste. "It's very good, even though I know nothing about wine." A laugh escaped from my lips, but this time it was a genuine laugh.
"You have a lovely laugh you know that? Why is it I don't hear it as often?" His words were carring and they made me smile. It had been such a long time since I felt happy and now I didn't want the moment to end.
"The eavning is lovely Thranduil, lets not ruin it by talking about the past." I responded, looking out to the horizon with sad eyes.
"What do you want to talk about then?" He asked as the footman came and brough dinner.
"Tell me about Middle Earth." I responded, a smile grew on Thranduil's lips and over dinner he told me about were he had been born how his homeland had been destroyed but his grandfather and father had come here and built Greenwood.
Dinner was over and we were now alone, another bottle of wine had been opened but remained untouched.
"Do you miss the mountains?" Thranduil broke the silence and stood up. He took my hand and led me towards the ledge of the balcony.
I took a deep breath, stared deeply at the mountains remembering the snow, the cold wind and my family. "You have no idea."
"Tell me about it." Thranduil insisted. As he saw my teary eyes he placed his hand comfortingly on my shoulder.
"I miss my family, my dad and brothers were warriors. My upbringing was so different, my father was the most loving man I've met to this day...I remember him telling me stories before bed when I was a little girl and now he's gone. I remember playing with my twin brother Aradan and our father having to come out of the house to get us before dinner..I even miss my brother Locien, we never got along but I loved him very much." My voice broke, tears fell from my eyes and I covered my face embarrassed. "I'm sorry." I sobbed.
Instead of responding Thranduil took me into his arms and I weeped into his chest. His embrace felt warm and full of care, he stroked my hair and helped me calm down.
"This must all be hard for you. A new home, new rules and culture." His words were how I felt and his voice was soft.
I looked up at him, his face was back to being expressionless but it wasn't hard. "I try so hard to fit in." I replied as I pulled away and rested my elbows on the ledge.
"I've had my fair share of tragedy as well." Thranduil said. His arm drapped around my shoulders and his voice became sad. "I lost my wife to the Orcs in Gundabad, I've seen my people starve and now I have this menace crawling through my realm, but I've managed to pull through. You're strong Caladhiel, you need to know you have the strength to overcome this. I knew it when I first met you, the way you were able to say what you thought about me to my face." In the last part Thranduil smiled.
"To be fair I had no idea who you were." I responded.
Thranduil's face became closer to mine; out forehaeads touching. "What I mean is that you have a fire within you Caladhiel and that's the reason I'm so atracted to you."
I wasn't able to answer. Thranduil's lips kissed mine with the softness of a rose petal. At first I didn't know what to do so I parted my lips to welcome his, Thranduil wrapped his arms around me and pressed me to him, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back.