It happened on one of the their mall "dates" that weren't really dates. They had ended up in Pac Sun, one of the many stores Kayla never visited so that he could show her some shoes. Ross hadn't worked himself up to holding her hand yet, but their hands had brushed several times as they walked and she was honestly tempted to just grab his to get past the awkwardness.
But after they entered the store, he grabbed her hand to pull her over to the vans display, and then didn't let it go. "We should get matching Vans," he said with a cheeky smile. "Do people do that?" Kayla asked with her eyebrow raised. "Best friends do. I know what I'm getting you for your birthday," he joked, he wiggles his eyebrows. She rolled her eyes. "No thanks."
"Ross!" Kayla heard a male voice call his name from behind them. They turned to see a few guys ambling towards them. Ross dropped her hand as he started to talk to his friends. Kayla recognized them, even though she didn't know their names. All his friends sort of blended together in their swoopy hair, basketball shorts, lacrosse jersey fashion. Kayla watched their interaction for a few seconds, but neither Ross nor his friends ever looked back at her so she slipped away.
As Kayla pretended to be interested in a graphic tee display, she tried to resist her darkening mood. Her face had been hot from the moment Ross let go of her hand. It had grown hotter as he spoke to his friends without acknowledging or introducing her. Maybe it was a white people thing, but if it was, it definitely wasn't working in Ross' favor, because it absolutely just felt like he was ashamed of her.
She hadn't felt ignored in this way since high school, when she was the only black girl in most of her classes and everything about her made her both hyper visible and invisible. She had fled that experience when she entered college, immersing herself in all Black spaces.
And then Ross popped up. In their chemistry class, they were assigned as partners. Kayla gradually softened towards his humor and they became friends. Furthermore, he'd revealed that he was attracted to her. Kayla had been shocked at his admission, although he'd always been one to compliment her. He seemed to notice everything about her, from her ever changing protective styles to her subtle mood changes.
Eventually, Kayla had decided she kind of liked Ross. He was sweet but confident, and he seemed to have a genuinely good heart. However, moments like this made her hesitant. She walked over to a random display and pulled down her size in a pair of Toms.
"Hey why'd you disappear?" Ross said, jovial as ever as he popped up beside her. She cut her eyes at him, fitting the shoe on her foot. He frowned.
"Whoa what did I do to deserve that?" He rested his hand on her back and she looked up at hi to see his eyes were hella sincere. It seemed like he really didn't know. Was he just dumb or was she overthinking things? Instead of revealing her frustration, she decided to let the matter rest for a moment.
"Do you like these shoes?" She questioned instead of answering him.
Ross looked down at the white TOMS she wore. It was almost comical that she was asking his opinion on a shoe so plain. "I mean...yes?" He said unsurely. He was clearly still confused by her behavior. "I'm not getting them," she said, just to be petty. Her mind was working against her desire to lay aside her irritation.
"What the fuck?" He held up his hands in exasperation.
"Sorry," she said, taking off the shoes.
"I don't give a crap about your shoes. I'm trying to figure out what's happened within the last 10 minutes since I was talking with Jake and Dirk. Did someone say something to you?" he looked around as if he was ready to handle whoever had disrespected her.
Kayla wanted to laugh, but she was too irritated.
"I'm fine. I'm gonna go look for a dress for Daysha's party."
Ross looked at her as if he was trying to read her mind. "Do you want me to help you?"
Yes, she thought. "No, go eat with your friends or something," she said, waving him away.
He swiped at his hair in exasperation. Kayla knew that she should just communicate with him, but for the moment, she didn't have the words to express her feelings. So she walked away from him, throwing over her shoulder that she would text him when she was done.
Kayla went to several stores, but she was feeling too distracted to make a decision. She texted Ross that she was ready to go and he must have been waiting on her because he met her in no time at the mall entrance.
"Hey," he said, looking a little nervous. She knew he was trying to gauge what her mood had become.
To ease his concern a little, she tucked her hand into his arm as they walked to the car.
Ross glanced at her. He was honestly worried that he would never understand her in the way he wanted to. He opened the door for her, and she just said thanks without any of her usual "I'm perfectly capable of doing that by myself" sass.
He turned the car on and rolled down the windows as if they were going to be sitting there for a while.
"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?" Ross said.
Kayla sat silent for for a few moments before she spoke.
"Why did you drop my hand when we saw your friends?" she asked.
Ross immediately furrowed his brows in confusion.
"I didn't-" he started, confused, then stopped. "I did..."
"You didn't seem like you were going to introduce me, either. I felt like that meant you didn't want to be seen with me, so I walked away," she said.
Ross rubbed the back of his neck, looking distressed by her statement. His response came slowly.
"It's not that, I just...didn't want you to feel awkward, I really don't know how you feel so I don't want to push anything while we're out in public. I'm not ashamed to be with you...if that's what you want too," he explained.
Kayla still had questions about his behavior. "But I would introduce you to anybody, Ross."
"As what, though? Your friend?"
"As Ross. Is it anybody's freaking business what we are?"
"No, but it's my business. What are we?"
How quickly the tables at turned. Kayla gaped at him, but she did understand his point. She'd known this was coming.
"I like you, Ross, but there's so much you don't understand," she said finally.
The I like you was all Ross wanted to hear. A smile broke out on his face. "You like me?" he said, reaching for her hand. She rolled her eyes at him. "Unfortunately, I do."
He sobered then, covering both of her hands with his.
" I'm sorry I made you feel like I was ashamed of you," he said. He put his finger under Kayla's chin so she had to meet his eyes.
"And I won't do it again," he said firmly. Shelooked back at him, still unsure, but his expression was so sincere that couldn't help but believe he would try her best not to hurt her.
And suddenly, she wanted to kiss him. While his greenish-blue eyes were trying to hold hers to make a serious promise.
"I'll introduce you to everybody I know. I'll even put you on my Instagram--"
"Your Instagram? Without a title?"
He smirked over at her, leaning back in his seat. "I'm pretty confident that you'll be my girlfriend by next week."
"What about my side hoes?" Kayla teased, leaning towards him with my arm on the center console.
"Theory: they're not real. My goal was to take your time on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and I succeeded."
He was right. "You're just lucky. I only call them on weekdays," she retorted. "Hmm," he said with a smile, bringing her hand to his mouth to kiss her knuckle. Kayla felt the heat of his action
squirmed a little in her seat. Leaning closer to him, she said seriously, "Lean the seat back."
"What?" he laughed, his eyes wide. Kayla put her knee over the console, getting ready to climb into his lap. "It's broad daylight Kayla, you're wilding," he said, but he was already helping helping her over and onto his lap. His hand rested on the curve of her hip as he looked up at her.
Forgetting her fears, Kayla leaned forward to kiss him, and when their lips met, he pulled her flush against his body. She pulled away, and then leaned forward to peck his lips again when she saw his smile. This patterned continued for a minutes, until Ross curved his other hand around the nape of her neck and slipped his tongue in between her lips. She pulled away again after a few minutes.
"Stop thinking," Ross said, even though he found her contemplative expression adorable.
"I think I should be your girlfriend before we make out," Kayla whispered. Ross looked at her with a raised eyebrow.
"Then be my girlfriend, Kay," he said, already leaning forward to capture my lips again.
"Okay," Kayla agreed, finally surrendering to whatever was about to go down between her and her new boyfriend. In the front seat of his car. In the mall parking lot. In broad daylight. All these factors considered, Kayla honestly couldn't have cared less who saw them.
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ty for reading !!!