This is the part where I tell you I'm fine, but I'm lying I just don't want you to worry...
~Juice WRLD
_______________________
JAYDEN'S POV
I wake in my jail cell and stare at the ceiling and think about life like I always do.
For the past few years my mind has been heavy. Looking for relief I tried everything, writing poems, working out, playing chess but nothing worked. Well except to things going on crazy rampages and cutting myself.
I never understood why people would cut themselves, or how they could kill themselves. I always thought I could never do that. Boy was I wrong.
Some people are insecure, some people have abandonment issues, anxiety, depression or drug addictions just different problems. Some with easy ways to solve and some not to easy.
I have a whole lot of problems, but I used to wonder how I got into the habit of cutting myself. But I was and still am fighting these demons and voices in my head.
Well whatever helps, I remember my former roommate had a blade and he used to cut paper, just think blank pieces of paper and one clean swipe of a razor, it was so satisfying.
So one day I decided to try it, but not with paper, I grabbed the razor and I sliced it across my wrist with enough to leave something resembling a scratch.
It made me feel a little relief so every day I did it, each day getting more intense and deeper.
But each time it felt nice, it was like a high, each time I cut and saw blood leave my wrist the I felt lighter, like I was defeating my demons each time.
One day I cut to deep and bled out, they thought I tried to kill myself. So they put me on suicide watch. Had some fat äss white nigga watching me and shit,couldn't even give me a bad bitch.
Interrupting my day dreaming a C.o come to my cell and shouts " Smith, lets go you have a visitor"
I shot up quickly, a visitor, who my own family hasn't come to see me in years so who could visit me I wondered because i wasn't that time of the month yet.
"Who is it" I asked.
"Man you know I don't know that stuff, they just told me to come get yo ass" he said turning his lips up.
We made our way down the hall towards the visiting section, the officer removed my handcuffs.
"You know the rules and shit just don't do no dumb shit".
I straight mugged him.
I walk through the doors and saw someone I haven't seen in years.
"Well, well what do we have here" i said smuggling him.
"Hey brotha"
____________________________
YALL thought yall was getting the good shit huh😂
haven't been motivated lately
Rewrote this like six times
NOPE
this chapter was kinda personal for me.💀
UMMMM YEA 5 VOTES AND PLZ COMMENT FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER