Second Thoughts

By OrnaRaz

82.5K 1.3K 382

Personal essays about life : identity, women, widowhood, families, relationships, love, money and much more More

Best Friends Are Forever?
A Skype Mother
Blue Jasmine, A College Dropout Or A Gifted Anthropologist?
"Call The Midwife:" Nurse Matilda
Childhood Under A Magnifying Glass: Over-Parenting Revisited
How NOT to Write About Motherhood
Lot's Wife And The Danger Of Curiosity
Mothers and Mothers-In-Law: A Different Bridal Shower
No longer Arthur's Sister: The New Bat Mitzva
On Remaining Unpublished, or The Most Underrated Novelist of the 20th Century
She Is A Real "Womensch"
The Celebration Of The Middle Aged Widow: The Book Of Ruth
What Would Dorian Say? Or My New Gray hair
He Ain't Heavy... He's My Brother
Some Thoughts About The Choice of Being A Mother
"It Ain't Easy": The Fifth Commandment
What Is The Purpose Of Your Visit? About Friendships
When It Comes To Women Ambition Is Still A Dirty Word
IMA Is More Important Than
Instead Of Berlin? See Under Zoo Aretz Zoo
The Fall From Grace of Age 30 And Josef K
A Woman's Career And Bad Karma
The Eggs In The Gilded Cage
Breastfeeding In Public? Not In My Front Yard
Whose Money Is It Really?
Furnishing The Dollhouse: A Lesson About Money
Facebook Power: From Clarence Thomas to Yitzhak Laor
From Marriage Ban To Freezing Eggs: The High Price Of Equality
The Bad Luck Of Cancer Patients
The Jewel In The Desert: Phoenix Museum Of Musical Instruments
"I Beg Your Pardon?" My Foreign (Israeli) Accent
Is It Really About Love? Valentine's Day
"The Other Is [Not] Me:" Lack Of Empathy
Liking Barack Obama
Those Who Are Absent From The Seder Table
Roads I didn't Take And Public Transportation
The US Is A Foreign Country Or It Is Best Not To Know
"We Do Not Know What A Jew Is. We Only Know Men"
Bring Back Mother's Day
A Coal Stove In Auschwitz and Other Monuments
There Is Always More To The Story
Privacy-A Useful Concept ?
A Whole Life in One Short Passage: The Case of the Cargo Cult Tribe
How To get Rid Of A Middle Aged Casanova
"I'll Think About That Tomorrow ": The Comfort of Denial
Public Mourning Is Naked
My Husband'd Last Words
Lonely In Jerusalem
In The Absence Of A Personal Moment
Judging A Town By Its Library
Make Room For Chapter 2
Your Best Is Not Good Enough For Me
"She Is Not Really Beautiful, But": About Seemingly Good Ideas
Some Ask For Help Others Have Help Thrust Upon Them
Can Great Literature Save Lives?
Mother Of The Year Award
Princess Victoria Has Thick Ankles-Insults And Their Consequences
Give Me The Facts But Don't Tell Me What To Think
"Not every death is the end of a well lived life"
Love [Doesn't]Mean Never Having to Say You're Sorry": When in Doubt Apologize
Please Leave Me A Note: The Language Of Personal Notes
The Dangers Of Art And Ideas: Between Mike Leigh And Miri Regev
Two Lovely Misses: Together For Over Forty Years
Women And Aging: The Pnina Rosenblum Version
It's A Scary Thing How Quickly The People Closest To You Can Become Strangers
The Past Has A Vote And Religious Feminists
It's Time To Listen: Women Wage Peace
Who Needs The Israel Broadcasting Authority?
Ignoring Each Other? The Hirschsprung Family And The Smartphones
The Deception Of A Native Accent
A Friend In Need: Cancer And The Vanishing Friends
David Or Daveed: The Truth About Women Wage Peace
"When I want Something I Get It:" Benjamin Netanyahu's Desires
"I Am A Camera": Visiting Kiryat Arba And Hebron
Surely Erela Would Call You
The Fall of a Poet: Naim Araidi
That First Year: Coping Tips For New Widows And Widowers
Kind Neighbors, or A Young Reporter from Um El Fahem
My [Facebook] Home Is My Castle
Lord of the Flies Is Here: Israel 2015
See No Evil: "The Night In Question"
A Senior Intern: Stereotypes and Reality
Israel Conference On Peace and The Missing Parents
What Do Boyer Graduates Do For Fun?
Sour Grapes of Parents, Sons' Teeth and Chapter 2
Ethiopian Jews Are Not Welcome
Novy God and the Kosher Shrimps
Electric Light Is the Most Efficient Policeman: Breaking The Silence
Small Towns In Texas And Personal Friends
The Most Important Profession In The world
The Power Of The Written Word: "Naftali Please Ban My Book"
How I Became the Enemy of Peace and Givat Haviva
My Mother's Wish
Kindergarten Children Under A Magnifying Glass
A Rabbi, a Pastor, and a Mensch
Rabin's Legacy and the Orphans
Black/Israeli/Palestinian Lives Matter
King Benjamin the First
Contempt Of Erudition And The Council For Higher Education
Don't Block My View With Your Disabilities: The Case Of Yonah Yahav
"Where Ignorance Is Bliss": Bashing The Whistleblower
The Sons Garden: Stepping on Collective Toes
We Still Have Choices: Cancer Patients and Their Families
Please Don't Tell Me Everything: A Mother's Viewpoint on the Big Trip
The Invisible Peace Activists: International Authors And Occupation
Facebook's Community Standards and the community
A Personal/Open Letter to Naz Shah
"Let Them Eat Cake": May Day in Haifa and the Mimouna
The Narrative of My Generation Is the Yom Kippur War
On May 16th 1948 The State of Israel Was Born
Life Behind The Partition Of The Law School Graduation Gala
54 Years Ago Today: Eichmann's Execution And A Personal Tragedy
"People of the Book" Did Not Make The Top 10 List Of Literate Nations
For Positive Communication: Netiquette Revisited
For Father's Day: The Father As A Teacher
Ostracism and the Collaborating Daughters
The Face of Jewish Settlers In Hebron: The Sheriff
The Kid Who Ran Away from School and Children Books' Justice
Motherhood Revisited: In Defense Of Andrea Leadsom
Strong and Purposeful: Women Wage Peace

The Long Line Outside The Women's Restroom: An Allegory

293 7 0
By OrnaRaz

Standing in line outside the restroom in Central Park, together with dozen other women, a young girl came running to the front of the line and asked to go first. She was in tears and was obviously distressed. But she still had to wait a couple of minutes until the first woman came out of the stall.

It was painful to watch that girl's plight and as I stood there, I realized that this long line of women waiting patiently, outside, in the freezing weather, while next door men went in and out of their restroom with no wait, was a sad allegory of the condition of women in the 21st century. We all know that there is a problem and still nothing is done to fix it.

We see women standing in lines at restrooms everywhere: in the movie theaters, sport events, concert halls, and museums. Yesterday in New York City I stood in 5 different lines.

Many small establishments changed their restrooms to unisex and it is a big help. It means that if the restroom could adversely affect business, steps are taken to remedy the problem. But places like Central Park and Macy's are perhaps too confident, or too arrogant, so they keep on mistreating their women customers, just because they can.

In recognizing the restroom situation as an allegory, I refer, for example, to the difficulties only women face when they decide to have a family. Every woman knows that she would most likely not be hired if she is interviewed for a job when pregnant. Moreover, if she is lucky enough and already has a job her short maternity leave is almost always frowned upon. If she chooses to stay home a while longer, she seriously risks her advancement and could even lose her job. Once she is back at work, refusing to work overtime usually means that her career is basically over.

This is a heavy price and the women are the ones who pay it. All the while, just like in the restroom, men are hardly affected by this problem and pay no price for fatherhood. Quite the contrary, studies show that fatherhood promotes men's social and financial standing.

As an explanation to the restroom problem, some argue that since most men use only the urinals, it is an inherent problem and nothing could be done. I disagree, I suggest that every public place will have one separate restroom for urinals, one large unisex restroom and a smaller separate restroom for women who are uncomfortable to share a restroom with men. I believe that if men start waiting in line a better solution would be find in no time.

And who is better equipped to find that solution than women architects?

In recent years many more women have entered the field of architecture. Actually in Israeli universities there are more women than men. Prestigious contests to design women-friendly restrooms would do wonders to improve both the restroom problem and the position of women at least in one important field: it is a good start.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-long-line-outside-the-womens-restroom-an-allegory/

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