Disclaimer: This is a human AU and the only characters from the KOTLC are Sophie, Keefe, and Fitz. Everyone else is completely new. Also, this is very long compared to past one-shots.
He was nervous, probably more nervous than he had ever been in his entire life.
The king asked to meet with me.
Ever since he pledged his life to protect the ruler of his kingdom he had known the type of life he was going to live. Being a swordsman from birth had given him the skills to be in the king's personal guard which meant whenever the king moved, he moved. The only time he didn't see the king was when he was sleeping in the barracks after a shift change. Rise with the sun, sleep with the moon. His life was simple, he had made friends with the other guards and saw new places whenever the king traveled. He knew it was what the rest of his life was going to look like, he had promised.
At least, that's what he thought.
He entered the throne room, a room he had spent many hours in but now, entering through the main doors, he understood the power this room held as he looked at the King staring down at him from a gold and plush red throne.
"Your Highness, you requested me," Keefe spoke clearly despite his nerves, bowing with the statement. The King had given him orders many times before but always through his commander, never directly.
"Keefe, step forwards" the King requested, gesturing towards him.
He did so, still keeping a healthy distance but coming close enough that the king wouldn't have to shout.
"I'm sure you are confused as to why I requested you here today," the regal man smirked like he was aware of the unease Keefe was feeling. "I need to reassign you."
Keefe inhaled sharply, "Have I done anything wrong, Your Highness?"
The King smiled kindly, "No Keefe, quite the opposite. You are one of my best warriors and therefore I need to put you on a very special assignment."
His mind was reeling, "But I vowed my life to you, sir, you are the one I need to protect."
The King laughed, "I thought you might bring that up. You know that you served your favor in full years ago. Besides, this assignment is protecting me, just in a different way."
Keefe looked at him confused, how could he protect him somewhere else?
"I need you to protect my daughter," the King revealed, "my own heart and soul. The future of this Kingdom."
Keefe blinked as he thought this over, but there was no choice in the matter. "Of course, Your Highness, if that is your wish."
The King smiled again, this time with the thought of his only daughter, "She is against the idea and will try to shrug you off, please do a good job of sticking by her. Protect her."
"Of course sir," Keefe replied dutifully.
The regal man looked Keefe over, "Since there is no barrack close to the princess's quarters I have you in a servant's room nearby. You can use the same channels and resources just relocated."
Keefe nodded.
"You may go and pack your things, I will see to it that she is informed of your arrival."
Keefe bowed again and exited the room.
The royal princess, wow.
He hadn't spent much time around the princess even though he was assigned to the King. The princess had always met with her father in private rooms where the guards stood outside or at events where he was too far away to get any real information about her. He would have to ask the other knights if they had any advice.
After a night of settling into his quarters, much nicer than the ones he had before, he woke up to the strange sensation of being alone. He hadn't lived by himself in many years, the knights were always kept in modest rooms together with very few personal items to their name. Now he had the room to himself, a real wooden bed frame, and a small dresser where he put his things. The room was small but it was more than sufficient. The sun was rising over the horizon which queued him to put on his armour and head to the princess's door.
The walk was short and through the servent's tunnels that snaked behind the castle wings, windowless and stone. He used a door that led out into a side hallway to bring himself to his post.
The door wasn't as decorated and detailed as the King's was. He could hear a commotion coming from inside but nothing too unusual that required his attention. He stood protectively next to the entrance and waited for the princess to start her day.
He wasn't used to this either, standing guard had always been with others and he always had a person to report to. Now, he supposed, he reported to the King.
Suddenly, the door flew open and a young woman with long blond hair stomped out mumbling to herself until she noticed Keefe.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, surprised. "You must be the guard my father requires of me." She sounded displeased and looked at him like he was another problem on a long list.
"Yes ma'am," he replied dutifully. The princess was a head shorter than him but stood at her full length like she was in charge of whatever room she walked into.
She glared, "No. There will be no ma'am, use my name if you have to."
"Yes Your Highness," Keefe traded.
Her glare hardened, "That is not my name Sir-" She paused waiting for his name.
"Sencen," he supplied. "It's Sencen ma'am."
"Already bad at following instructions, great," she sighed and turned on her heel to walk away. Keefe followed and tried to hide a smirk. Everyone in the castle knew that staff weren't permitted to use a first-name basis with anyone within the castle, much less royalty. Sophie knew that too and he wondered at her instance. He followed her with the proper 5 steps between them.
"Look," she started, not looking at him but ahead at her destination, "You were assigned to me because I have a habit of sneaking out and my father thinks that you can stop me. You can't-" she looked right in his eyes, "trust me.
He merely nodded.
"So don't think you're in charge of me or anything. I will do what I need to do and that's the end of it." She led them down the main corridor that ran through the castle and turned at a set of tall oak doors. She stopped and took a deep breath, then opened the door and entered.
Keefe followed her and the room revealed to hold a large oval table with men in heavy wooden chairs surrounding it. They had been chatting but stopped when the door opened. There was a large chair at the end where the King presided over the meeting and the princess went straight for him. She sat in a chair nearby, not at the table but one of a pair near the wall.
He hesitated, usually he would stand outside the doors, but the King gestured him inside. He followed loyally and stood against the wall near the princess.
Strange, he thought, why make her sit so far away?
He had never been inside the rooms before, the men went back to their discussion of policy and ignored the princess's presence. It was weird to see important men ignore royalty unless... she must do this often. He also noted the crowned prince's absence, which meant that this was not required of her. In fact, he wondered, she must not be wholly welcome.
It was hours before the meeting ended. The men argued back and forth as the King listened and picked a side. The princess, obviously enveloped in the conversations, sat back and bit her tongue. She must not be permitted to speak, he realized after she made a particularly strange face at one man's argument. Once the King was pulled away to another engagement, the meeting ended and the men left.
The princess stood and stretched.
"Off we go before my mother finds me," she announced to him as she walked towards the door. When she opened the door she ran straight into the Queen.
"Sophie! Wonderful, I was just coming to get you. Come join me for tea in the parlor we must discuss what colors to pick for the foreign minister's welcoming ball next week."
The princess nodded, "Of course Mother, just let me change my skirt and I will be right over."
The Queen gave the princess a distrustful look and turned to Keefe, "Make sure she comes to the parlor afterward."
Keefe said nothing as the Queen walked away. The princess huffed in frustration as she walked in the opposite direction.
She led him to the stables and asked the stable boy to ready her horse. Keefe went to go ready his horse when she stopped him.
"What are you doing?"
He raised his eyebrow, "Readying my horse?"
"You're not going to try to stop me?" she gave him an unsure look. The anger her brown eyes had been holding morphed into suspicion.
He shook his head, "My orders are to protect you, not to make you do what is required of you. If you are going riding, the safest place I can be is riding behind you."
She took a moment to look at him. She must have made up her mind about something and continued over to her now-ready horse. Keefe mounted his own and they rode out to the field.
He knew the riding grounds well, in his limited free time he liked to take small rides where he was permitted and was relieved to be doing something other than standing. He followed her to the back of the training yards where the fences were lower and jumped the fence. Keefe knew he should be nervous but everyone had told him this was what she did. They didn't know this was how she left, but he knew at some point he would have to follow her to wherever she disappeared to, he just didn't think it would be his first day.
The ride was short, just past the thick part of the forest to the grassy hill behind it. She crested the peak and dismounted, tying her horse to a nearby tree. He followed suit and went to stand by. She laid down in the grass and looked at the clouds.
She sighed, "Come, lay down. I'm not going anywhere for a while, you might as well join me."
He sat but didn't lay down, his protective layers and sword making in hard, and looked over the horizon. Better to be aware of their surroundings, just in case.
She chuckled, "So bad at following directions."
He smiled to himself, confident she couldn't see his expression from where she lay.
"It's okay," she sighed, resting her eyes. "I'm the same way."
They stayed on the grassy hill for a while, the sun slowly moving towards the horizon. Eventually, the princess rose and they rode back to the castle. She was a strong rider and rode like she was one bad decision away from riding into oblivion. He wondered what she must think of while she rode that gave her such a determined look.
They dismounted and handed the horses off to the stable boys. They walked back to her quarters in silence and he took his post in front of her door.
Her mother must have been waiting inside because he heard harsh words being exchanged and there were very few people he knew of who were permitted to talk to royals in such a way. Eventually, the arguing stopped and the door opened, revealing he guessed correctly.
"You," the Queen said frustrated, "why didn't you bring her to the parlor? Your job is to make sure she doesn't escape like this."
The princess swung the door open, "Mother! Don't yell at him, it was my choice!"
"No Your Highness," he gave a small shake of his head to the Queen.
"What did you say to me," the Queen's eyes narrowed.
"My job is to protect her, I can only do that if I am with her. She makes her own decisions, I make sure she is safe."
The princess looked surprised at his answer, obviously not used to being defended.
"We'll just see about that," the Queen huffed before walking away.
There was a long pause of silence as the princess watched her mother walk away. It wasn't until the regal form disappeared that she turned to Keefe.
"That was risky," she tested, eyebrow raised.
Keefe looked at her, "It's the truth."
The princess gave him a nod of respect and went back into her room.
***
The Queen's threat was never acted upon, or she never actually decided to tell anyone about Keefe's methods of bodyguarding, he was never sure. The weeks rolled by and turned into months. The princess's respect allowed him to follow her on her escapades which allowed him to memorize the patterns of her actions and decisions. She liked to sit in on the King's meetings with his advisors, though she was never permitted to speak. Whenever there was an argument she disagreed with she blew off whatever engagements she had for that afternoon and rode into the forest. She rarely interacted with her older brother, the crown prince, and Keefe wondered if there had always been a wedge between them or if resentment grew at her inability to join the table when discussing matters of the kingdom.
It was the first chilly afternoon fall had brought them and they sat in the sun on top of her usual hill.
"Can I ask you something?" the princess said, still staring at the clouds. They usually sat in silence, the only time they had talked here was the day he had been assigned to her.
"Of course m'lady." Keefe liked it here, he could understand why she found peace from the usual chaos of her life amongst the trees and the sky.
"You seem young to be a knight."
He glanced at her but she was still looking at the clouds, it looked like he wasn't the only one taking note of the other.
"I started earlier than you're supposed to," he conceded, caught off guard by the question.
She turned to look at him, "How did you manage that? Eager to prove your worth?"
The question should have been a taunt but he noted the respect behind it. He met her eyes, the warm brown hard to refuse.
"It was by accident, your father saved my life. I pledged my service to him." Her eyes widened at his words.
"My father?" she sat up, leveling her eyes with his.
Keefe ran his fingers over the top of his sword in memory, "It's a long story but I told him I owed him a debt after the incident, he figured out I was good with a sword and I've been in his knights ever since."
"For how long," she questioned.
"What do you mean?"
"When does your service end? When is the debt fulfilled?"
He shrugged his shoulders, "I figured I'd always just be a knight, it's a good life."
She quirked an eyebrow, "You don't want to have a family one day, go off and see the world."
He shook his head, "I've always been content where I am."
She laid back down, "That's where we differ, I have never been content."
He tried not to laugh, "I've noticed that."
Her eyes snapped to his, surprised at his boldness. It wasn't something he should have said and it definitely crossed a line that he shouldn't have neared.
"What else have you noticed?"
It was a delicate question, one that she shouldn't have asked. Maybe it was the chill of the breeze mixed with the warmth of the sun. Or maybe it was the brown eyes that had never spent so much time looking at him before but he felt compelled to answer.
He met her eyes, "You go to your father's meetings with his advisors because you like to stay updated on what happens in the kingdom, even though they never let you speak your mind or sit at the table. Your brother never attends even though he is the heir, or maybe that's why. I don't know what it is like to be royalty, but I imagine the idea of running a country is heavy on the shoulders. You care about your people, almost to a fault, and make sure to be kind to the service staff even though you seem to be cold to most nobles. It has given you a rough reputation, though I think you do that on purpose. You're fierce like you've proven yourself before you've even entered the room. People know you aren't a pushover and that you stay informed, no one can take advantage of you. Though, I'd like to see someone try. I know who I'm backing in that fight."
She sucked in a small breath, touched by his words. She sat up slowly and he noticed how close they were, "No one has ever told me they thought of me as strong, they all say what they want to see. That I'm a small sweet princess, something nice to look at."
"Well," he said, trying not to notice how close their hands were in the long grass, "I'm not going to say you aren't short."
Her eyebrows shot up in surprise, obviously taken off guard by his joke. "Hey, not all of us get to be as freakishly tall as you Sencen." Then pushed him with the intent of pushing him backward but only managed to sway him.
She stood up and stomped in pretend anger to her horse.
He chuckled to himself and tried to recover from their conversation, from the feelings that sturred at their nearness. He stood and went to mount his horse.
They rode back in companionable silence, but something had clicked in Keefe's brain and he no longer just noticed how strong she was at riding but also how beautiful her golden hair looked in the sunset.
Snap out of it Sencen, he thought to himself, this is not a good route to go down.
***
Time passed quickly, the crisp fall turned into a cold snowy winter and the princess spent more afternoons in the small library near her rooms when she couldn't ride. They never brought up what had happened on the grassy hill but moved forward as friends more than a princess and her knight. She would ask Keefe questions about knighthood and he would ask her about being raised as a princess in return.
"I know it's a very privileged life," she sighed, placing her book down on the table next to the couch she had perched on in the library. No one ever came in here, always going to the bigger main library near the King's quarters for anything they needed. "I just wish people knew how little freedom there is in it. Not having to worry about money or food is something I will always be grateful for but everyone is planning my days and what I am to do, there is very little free will in all of it. I will likely be married off for the good of the kingdom and no one will care about me after that, after my price has been paid. I won't see my family again or my beautiful kingdom and its people unless my future spouse permits it. Even my clothes, someone picks out and places it for me to wear, I have no choice in that either."
Keefe nodded, stoking the fire in the fireplace. "The girls in my village never had much of a choice either, they tended to own very little clothes and worked in the fields with their families."
"I guess it's just the fate of womanhood," Sophie sighed, "Tell me about your village, do you still have family there."
Keefe sat on the couch across from hers and smiled in remembrance, "It's small but beautiful, just beyond the valley stuck between the two large mountains. The winters are awful, we are cut off from the other villages with loads of snow closing us in but the people are good and we all take care of each other."
"And your family?"
He frowned, "My mother died in childbirth and my father joined her when I was 14 in his grief."
She gave him a sympathetic look, "I'm sorry."
Her eyes were mesmerizing and he had to look away, "It's okay."
"It's not but I am glad you trust me with the information," she said and smiled at him. It was a beautiful smile that reached her eyes in her sincerity.
He smiled back, "It's only fair, plus I came to the castle not long after. I wasn't alone long."
She gave him a mischievous smile, "Ah ha! Another clue, let's see..." She placed a finger on her lips as she thought. She had been trying to guess his age for months but he had never let it slip.
He smiled at her efforts and tried not to laugh at her thinking.
"Sir Song let slip that you had been recruited 5 years ago which makes you..." her smile faltered, "are you 21?"
His smile faded at her serious tone, "do you really want to know?"
"You're the same age as me," she said in disbelief.
"Almost," he relented, "22."
She looked at him with a new seriousness, "You look older."
"It's the armor."
She seemed to be studying his features and he tried not to blush under the scrutiny. He could tell she disagreed with his statement. He had been told this often and he tried to believe that his work gave him an air of being older, but he knew it was the tiredness in his eyes that gave it away. His soul was far too old for his body.
"I've never really had a friend my age before," she said, letting his comment go without argument.
"Don't let anyone else hear you refer to me as such, we are not allowed to be friends," he corrected. He leaned against the mantle of the fireplace.
Her eyes went fierce, "I am allowed to be friends with whomever I choose, rank should have nothing to do with it."
"I am meant to be protecting you, not talking to you, my superior made that very clear. I will admit, though, that I have never been good at following silly rules. Plus, I'm good at multitasking."
She smiled at his underlying agreement with her, "Well Sir Sencen, will you please multitask and protect me on my walk to my quarters, I am quite ready to steal away to my bed and who knows what dangers we could encounter."
He smirked and held out his hand to help her up, "Of course my lady, it would be my honor."
She hesitated a moment, never having touched him before, but shook her head and accepted his offer to stand. She then led them down their familiar path to her rooms and paused at the entrance to her bedroom.
He stood his dutiful 5 feet behind her and wondered at this pause, she had something on her mind. Usually, when it was just the two of them like this, she just blurted out any and everything she wanted to say.
She turned to look back at him, looking at his eyes and he refused to be intimidated by her analyzing gaze. He gave her a questioning look but she just kept looking until she figured out whatever it was she needed and opened the door in front of her, disappearing into her quarters. He took his post in front of the door and wondered at what her conclusion of him was and if it had anything to do with the many thoughts that had been racing through his mind ever since they had left the little library.
From then on, their friendship had been solidified and they shared their thoughts freely with each other whenever they found a private opportunity to do so. She complained about the choices her father's council was making and he told her stories of being a knight. They became close, maybe a little too close for good society, but they made sure to never cross that forbidden line. Keefe often wondered if it was obvious to others that they had become such close friends or if they saw what he wanted them to, just a knight protecting his assignment. He was unsure of how to proceed, if he was being honest, he had never been this close to another person and was hesitant to give it up, despite the impropriety.
***
"You know what I think princess?" Keefe questioned as he watched her organize the books in the little library that she had picked out to bring back to her room.
"I'm dying to know," Sophie said sarcastically, rolling her eyes.
"I think you like your mother's luncheons more than you let on," he smirked.
Sophie whipped around to face him, disgusting shock on her face, "What are you talking about, you know I hate those meetings."
"No," Keefe taunted, "I think you pretend you don't like it because you think it's silly to enjoy eating fancy food with your mother's ladies but in reality, the food is so delicious that you secretly enjoy yourself, no matter how boring you find the conversation."
Sophie grumbled and turned back to her books, "She only lets the cooks make their famous jam cookies for the luncheons, no matter how hard I try to sway them to make them for other events. It's like she's trying to bribe me into being a proper lady."
Keefe smiled, "I think you're plenty proper."
Sophie gave him a quick grin, "You would, boy that you are. You wouldn't know a salad fork from a dessert fork if it hit you in the face."
Keefe gave a dramatic sigh, "I'll admit that the finer details of fancy dishware elude me but I've never heard anyone in this castle refer to your manners as anything less than perfect."
Sophie sat down on the couch next to him, "That's very sweet but if you're trying to get me to steal you one of the cook's famous jam cookies by being nice, jokes on you, I'm eating as many as I can get my hands on."
Keefe gave her a pouty face and she laughed, that beautiful sparkly laugh that gave him a smile he couldn't force off his face.
"Okay," she admitted after she came down from her laughter, "Maybe one."
***
When Sophie had finally been roped into a meeting with her father's council that wasn't about the kingdom as much as what they could do with her or trade her for in the future when they married her off, she sat in a fancy chair waiting for the exchange to end so she could finally go out riding with Keefe. He hadn't been allowed in the room this time, her father's men were also banned from entry, and she was bored out of her mind. Keefe had become a companion for her and she forgot how boring these meaningless meetings were without his snippy comments to keep her entertained.
"psst"
She perked up, trying not to let the other people in the room know she heard something.
"This way," he whispered. She knew he was behind the hidden door the servants used as backdoor passageways, but all she could see was the small bump in the tapestry from the service door being cracked open. Why he wasn't with the other guards out front, she didn't care as long as he could help her escape.
She looked around at the men in the room, not one of them paying her any mind while they talked about her future and arranged how much they could profit from it. Her father was deep in conversation with the foreign minister likely trying to figure out how quickly grain could be imported now that the marriage arrangement was being signed.
Slowly standing from her chair, Sophie walked to the bookcase to make herself look as uninteresting as possible. It was obvious none of the men were watching her or noticed her getting up. After a few minutes of browsing, she made her way back to the tapestry and slid behind it to the hidden door. The inside was dark and she briefly wondered how the maids and servers might have been able to walk without hitting anything.
"Keefe?" she whispered.
"Over here," he popped out from behind a turn close by. "We need to get to another room before the maids see you." He grabbed her hand and pulled her along behind him. They rushed as fast as they could with her heels slowing them down. Sophie tried to hold back a laugh as she thought about how ridiculous they must look, the princess running down a servant corridor with her knight.
Suddenly they heard a door creak open behind them.
"Princess Sophie? Are you there?" they heard a voice shout down the corridor.
"Hurry," Keefe whispered as they took a sudden turn.
"Your royal highness!" yelled the voice and they heard footsteps in their direction.
The end of the hallway showed another door and Keefe yanked it open and led them into a small dark room, slamming it closed behind them. He rushed them behind an armoire and wrapped his arms around her to hide them behind it.
She smiled against him, listening to their heavy breathing as they heard the footsteps fade in the distance. She was used to his shenanigans and his coming to her rescue was no surprise, but his tricks had never led them to be pressed behind furniture together and the feeling of his chest against hers as he blocked her from view gave her a feeling she wasn't ready to acknowledge.
They heard the footsteps pass and Keefe backed away, putting space between them once more.
"Saved once again from boredom by the best knight in the kingdom, a true hero" she joked.
Keefe laughed and looked at her in that carefree way she always envied.
She was hit by a sudden sadness, she was going to miss these moments with him. She tried to memorize the lines of his face, his ever-present smirk, and the way his blond hair was slicked back the way all the guards currently styled it.
His smile faded, "what's wrong?"
Sophie sighed and stepped away, back to safety where she could think without the overpowering feeling of being near him.
"They've set a date." She watched as his breathing stopped.
"No." It came out softly in disbelief. "No! No. They can't do this, you can't go."
Sophie felt her throat closing up but tried to keep her face calm, "We both knew it would happen sometime."
He moved closer to her, almost in protest of the idea of being far away, "But I thought they were waiting to see if the kingdom had enough guards to stay stable after the last uprising."
Sophie closed her eyes, "we need access to their trading routes due to the recent disease that spread through the grain. Everything got pushed up."
She felt his hands grab hers and opened her eyes to his mere inches away. His ice-blue eyes were always so focused. "You can't just leave, we don't know if it's safe. We don't know if they can hold against the discourse."
"Keefe," she whispered. "It doesn't matter if I'm safe as long as our deal holds true. Our people need the grain to survive the winter, we've held off on this engagement too long."
There was a long pause and his eyes started to water, "I never got to tell you... we never got to..."
He was trying to address the elephant in the room, the topic they always managed to dance around. But it was time Sophie put it out there. She leaned in and laid her head against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her.
"We never had a chance, Keefe, it was always going to end this way."
He let out a hollowed breath, truth heavy in the air. He turned them so he could rest his forehead on hers.
As he leaned in, Sophie knew what was going to happen but couldn't allow herself the luxury of that heartbreak and leaned away.
"Please." He whispered, strengthening his hold on her waist but making sure she knew she could pull away if she wanted to.
She could feel the breath of his plead on her lips, so tantalizingly close to his. She swayed, his hand holding her upright, and almost caved.
"No," she whispered. "Once we start I can't guarantee we'll stop, god knows I don't want to, but then where will we be? It's better if we don't let ourselves get there."
He let a tear fall, reality started to set in. "What if I got transferred with you, they'll need guards to escort you. I am your personal knight."
"You're my father's personal guard assigned to me, once I'm married I fall under the Vacker's protection. You don't want to watch me be miserable with another man, it wouldn't be fair to you. We have no options here." She pulled away, hands still holding his, and looked at him. "We'd just have to say goodbye again, we're delaying the inevitable. Maybe if things had been different, maybe if we had been a little more brave. Maybe it's a blessing we never got anywhere."
"A blessing," he pushed himself away, "this is nothing but punishment."
"We were never supposed to meet, Keefe. You were always supposed to be with the royal guard, not part of my command. I'm glad you were assigned to me, nobody has been my friend the way you have."
He looked at her longingly, "Why didn't we ever..."
Sophie looked away, "I have my responsibilities and you have your 'duty' to the king, as you like to call it." She didn't want to be mean about his reasons, reasons he had told her again and again, but she was upset and she couldn't help herself.
He sighed defeated, "You're right, I know you are. I just don't want to believe it."
She let herself lean against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, chin resting on her head as they held each other together.
"Please," he whispered, losing all reason, "don't leave."
Her heart broke but she shut her eyes and held him closer, hoping he wouldn't see the tears fall. They both knew he was asking for the impossible.
A while later, when they both had the strength to separate, he escorted her back to her rooms and stood his post, wondering what he was going to do once these rooms were empty.
***
Sophie's day was turning out to be a dull one.
Between her upcoming wedding and the king's birthday, there were a lot of introductions to be made and long afternoon tea to sit through. She took a small comfort in watching her father's meeting with the foreign dignitaries who came to offer their congratulations on the festivities.
Policy had always intrigued her. Her mind was always caught by the idea that one person could represent and decide the fate of so many people and how that seemed fair, and the idea that it was a job that needed to be done but only really worked when done by the correct person. She had seen many men walk through these halls full of greed and looking for power. But she had also seen the men bargaining for the well-being of their tenants, fighting for their rights and their ways of life.
The latter always seemed wary of their jobs, almost like they never really wanted it. Her father told her those people were always the best kinds of leaders, that they were in it for the right reasons.
She agreed that this was true for men but always knew it was somewhat different for women. She would argue that for women to be leaders they had to want power so they could know how to take it. Positions weren't so easily handed over.
The chance wasn't given but taken.
Sophie had come to her little library just down the hall from her bed-chamber to try to relax from the constant barrage of new people from her betrothed's country wishing to meet their future princess. She had tried to distract herself by reading but she couldn't get out of her own head. She had read the first paragraph three times over and she still couldn't remember what it was about.
She sighed into the book. Being married off for the benefit of her kingdom was something she always knew she would have to do. It was the duty she could provide as a daughter, it was the one power she was born with. But sitting here with Keefe standing at his post and not sitting across from her, making her laugh like he used to, was breaking her heart little by little even if she knew it was for the best.
The door burst open and a maid searched the room until her eyes landed on the princess. "Your Highness, you're needed at the seamstress for your fitting."
Sophie nodded to the maid, dismissing her, and stood. "Shall we?" she asked Keefe.
He nodded and followed her to the seamstress's chamber. She missed hearing his voice, the way he taunted and teased her, even the simple commands or the way he said her title. He had been quiet since the news of her engagement and while she was the one who made clear what their boundaries were, she found herself wanting to take it back so she could have her friend and confidant.
Sophie had always loved the seamstress's workshop, the room was filled to the brim with different fabrics and ribbons. There was something undeniably creative and wild about it.
"Hello, Your Royal Highness," greeted the seamstress as she gestured for Sophie to change into the gown behind the curtain. Sophie did as she was bid and put on the giant white garment. The dress had been worked on all day for weeks while the wedding fast approached. The dress itself was beautiful with its beaded detailing and lace, she felt regal and important, yet sad once she had it all buttoned up and saw herself in the mirror. She looked like a bride. She took a deep breath and stepped out from behind the curtain. She heard a small gasp.
"Ah! You look gorgeous!" exclaimed the seamstress, "Doesn't she look gorgeous Sir Sencen!"
"Incredibly so," he murmured but he hadn't taken his eyes off of hers and she knew he hadn't meant the dress. She could see the love and pain in his eyes and she hoped he couldn't see hers.
"I think it fits perfectly," the seamstress said, looking over the fit of the dress. Sophie snapped out of her gaze with Keefe and looked in the mirror again.
"I think so too," she agreed and suddenly she wanted to be anywhere but here, be anyone else but herself. "Is it okay if I go back to my chambers, there's still so many things I need to pack." A lie and one that was easily seen through, she wasn't the one who would have to pack her things.
"Of course your highness," the seamstress said, letting her off the hook.
Sophie rushed behind the curtain and couldn't take the dress off fast enough, tears started to well in the corner of her eyes and she wiped them away. This was ridiculous, she always knew she wouldn't love the man she was going to marry, she just never thought she would know what she was missing. Having to face Keefe in her wedding dress, it brought the reality of her situation that much closer.
Once she was back into her normal clothes she rushed out of the room and went straight to her chambers. She knew Keefe was right behind her, as usual, but she couldn't look at him.
She entered her room and changed into her riding clothes, ignoring her busy schedule for the rest of the day, and headed to the stables. Keefe readied his horse and they rode to their hill. She tied her horse to a nearby tree and sat in the grass, exhausted by her situation.
Keefe, for the first time in weeks, sat beside her and wrapped his arms around his knees. He stared at the horizon. Sophie had never seen him look so young before, usually, he made himself big and spread out. But right now, as he curled into himself, she could see the boy he would have been had he not been taught to fight.
"I wish I could see what you look like when you first wake up in the morning," she whispered, still staring. "With your hair all messed up and the sleep still in your eyes. You must look so peaceful, you always carry everything in your eyes."
He chuckled but the smile didn't reach his eyes, "it's quite the sight to behold. Might scare you off." He was picking at the grass.
"No," she disagreed, "you could never scare me. You're too kind."
He took a sharp breath and looked at her, "I think... I think that I..." He shook his head and looked away, not willing to make their situation worse.
Sophie, brave with him beside her, "I love you, Keefe."
His eyes whipped to hers, astounded at her words. "I love you too...Sophie."
She beamed and he smiled his beautiful smile at her.
Her heart raced at the sound of her name on his lips, and suddenly every reason she had for not letting this man kiss her went out the door. She turned towards him, hesitantly, and leaned slowly towards his lips, letting him leave if he wanted to. But he let her lips meet his and hesitantly kissed her. She almost sighed at the relief of it, of how delicately his hands came up to hold her face like she was something to be treasured, like he wasn't sure if she was really there and he needed proof that he wasn't imagining her. Their kiss deepened and she slid her hands into his hair to pull him closer to her. Keefe, gently, lifted her up and placed her on his lap so they didn't have to keep their heads turned and they kissed like it was the last time they would ever have the chance. Likely, because they both knew it was.
When they broke apart, the butterflies in Sophie's stomach were going haywire.
"Thank you for showing me that I matter," Sophie said, running her pointer finger around the lines of his face in slow ministrations.
"As long as I'm alive m'lady, there will always be someone who loves you," he murmured and kissed the inside of her wrist.
He held her as they watched the sunset and followed her as they rode back to the castle. This day had been a gift, one Sophie had never thought she would ever be given the chance to have. Once she made it back to her rooms she was bombarded by a thousand questions about where she had been and all the things she had missed but she didn't mind as she looked at Keefe standing at his post and noticed the smile he couldn't keep off his face.
***
The wedding day came sooner than she was prepared for and suddenly it was one day away. Between all the formal events and meetings, she had only seen her betrothed in passing. She received a summon that morning to meet him in the garden so they might have a chance to really talk before the wedding day.
"You don't have to come, Keefe, I should be perfectly safe in the gardens," she told him as they walked over. She was trying to spare him from having to witness her with the prince.
"It's my duty m'lady, I must," he said and she nodded understandingly but part of her knew that she was going to add to the sadness in his eyes and she wanted to kick herself for it.
She found the prince in a rather secluded section of the garden near one of the big fountains. She was relieved, here they could speak freely without the many people bustling around the castle.
"Prince Fitz," she curtsied before she sat.
"Your Royal Highness," he bowed and sat on the bench next to her. Sophie watched as Keefe positioned himself away from them to give them the privacy to talk but was still able to see them and keep guard.
"It's nice to be able to finally talk to you," she said, focusing on the prince.
"It has been a hectic couple of days hasn't it," Fitz said, smiling, but she could tell he was nervous.
"It has," she agreed, unsure of what they were to talk about. That was the thing about marrying a stranger for an alliance, at the end of the day they might have nothing in common and it didn't really matter how well they got along.
Fitz was playing with his hands, "I must admit something to you, an error of mine that I must deeply regret might harm you."
"Oh?" Sophie's interest was piqued, "that's always a good way to start an introduction."
He gave a shallow laugh, "I must admit... I wasn't sure our marriage was ever going to happen. I know the arrangments had been going back and forth for years but after a while, I sort of regarded it as a future that would never come true."
She nodded, "I have, at times, felt the same. Almost like a playing card in the King's back pocket."
He looked into her eyes, surprised by her agreement, "Yes! So you see, I wasn't sure if our marriage would come to pass and I sort of... fell in love." He was really nervous now, his leg bouncing and wringing his hands.
Sophie knew she should be shocked, it wasn't like every prince kept himself for his future wife but they never admitted it to their affianced. "Oh... well. Thank you for telling me, I'm not angry if that is what you were expecting."
Fitz let out a breath he was holding but still kept his nervous bouncing, "I guess a part of me wondered if that would hurt the chances of our marriage continuing."
Sophie sighed, "I almost wish it could, I know your situation a little too well." She glanced over at Keefe, who was too far away to hear and admiring the flowers. She returned her gaze to Fitz, "I know you are the younger son in a long line so our marriage does nothing more than bring you social standing and an alliance but my kingdom relies on your grain so, unless there can be some solution to our medley without marriage, I'm afraid it must continue."
Fitz glanced in the direction she had looked and Sophie internally cursed herself.
"Ah, I see. We do find ourselves in quite the pickle." He smiled at her, a genuine smile now that his situation had been discussed. "I will see if there is anything to be done but you are likely right, this might be the only way to ensure your kingdom's security."
He moved to stand but she placed her hand on his arm to stop him, "Could you tell me about her?"
Fitz looked at her surprised, "the woman I fell in love with?"
Sophie nodded.
His face lit up, "She's one of the kindest people I've ever met and she's beautiful and rare. We met at a ball last year and we couldn't stop talking. She made me laugh and I've never met someone that had ever made me feel so whole."
Sophie smiled, "Then for her sake, I hope we can figure something out. You sound like you would be a lovely pair."
Fitz gave her an appreciative smile, "You could tell me about your knight if you feel comfortable."
Sophie glanced over at Keefe again, "He's a wonderful listener and he pays attention to everything. He's sweet and makes sure to understand me even when I'm frustrated. He's always there for me, which sounds silly since he's required to be but... I don't know. He's different. He's everything."
Keefe glanced up and made eye contact, giving her a questioning look. She shook her head, making sure he knew she didn't need assistance.
"He sounds lovely," Fitz said, earnestly. "I'm sure you make quite the pair."
Sophie sighed, "I'm not sure we could ever really be together. I'm not sure good society would approve. Sometimes I wish he would just whisk me away and we could live far away from all of this."
Fitz gave her a regretful look for he knew that as a prince, he could marry anyone and no one would bat an eye, but if a princess married down she would be scandalized.
Sophie stood, "Thank you for being truthful with me. I will see you tomorrow."
Fitz smiled and stood, "That you will."
Sophie made her way over to Keefe. When he saw her approach and the sad look in her eyes he asked, "Are you okay?"
She shook her head, "Neither of us will get married to the one we truly love and I am afraid that after tomorrow, I won't see you again. A small part of me is breaking."
Keefe looked around, making sure they were alone, "then let me hold you together for a while." He wrapped his arms around her and she sagged into him, letting him hold her together.
***
The next morning, Sophie's room was a bustle of lady's maids and hairdressers getting her ready for her coming nuptials. She was to leave the castle at noon and head over to the church where she would become a wife. When she was released from her room and the lady's maids had all gone to the chapel to be there before the princess, she exited the room to Keefe standing in wait to bring her to her carriage.
His eyes widened at the sight of her, her gown perfectly fit and her hair put up perfectly, but once again he was only looking at her face, at her, and Sophie knew that. She felt tears start to well but willed them away so as not to ruin her maids' beautiful work.
"You look lovely, Sophie," Keefe murmured, yearning to reach out and hold her.
"Thank you, Keefe," she whispered, wishing for the same.
They walked to the front of the castle where the carriage was parked outside. He stopped and she went to the door but noticed he wasn't following.
"Why are you stopped?"
He gave her a sad smile, "I am to stay behind. With the King's guard and Fitz's guards, I was asked to stay with the castle."
"What?" Sophie exclaimed, trying to keep her voice down. "You mean this is... this is it? I'll never see you again?"
Keefe looked at her softly, "Better it's here, just the two of us, and not at the other side of the aisle."
She chewed on her lip, trying to contain her sadness but she hadn't been prepared to say goodbye right now, even if she had known it was to be today, "I thought we had more time."
"Our time has always been borrowed, never really ours," Keefe said solemnly, he wiped a tear off her face. "Now you go out there and start your future. You are sure to be the best princess Fitz's kingdom has ever seen. They'll be so jealous of what we've lost."
She nodded, holding back tears, it wasn't fair that he always had to be brave for both of them, even now as he tried to keep her spirits up. Her throat was choked up and she gave him one long look before turning back to the doors in front of her and making her way outside to the waiting carriage.
As soon as the doors closed, Keefe took a step back and sagged against the wall. It seemed, to him, that he was always destined to lose those he loved before he had the chance to truly love them. A tear rolled down his cheek and he started to cry in the empty entrance. Almost all of the castle staff had been permitted to go to the wedding, it was just him and some of the other patrolling knights who were here to keep the castle safe.
It wasn't fair, any of it. She deserved to be loved and with her kingdom and it was his fault she was going to her wedding heartbroken. He wondered if he should have ever admitted his love for her but quickly realized that everyone deserves to know that they are worthy of love, even if it can't last. Keefe knew he wouldn't have traded knowing her for anything. He took a deep breath and stood, trying to ignore the tugging pain in his heart.
He made his way down the long halls and back to his quarters where he packed his things, no longer needing to guard the room nearby that had been emptied earlier.
Maybe loneliness was always destined for him, maybe his life as a guard was the best life for him. Better to not get attached.
He entered his room to grab his bag and move back into the king's guard. Keefe noticed a paper sticking out of his bag and grabbed it.
A letter, it seemed, from the princess written in perfect cursive.
My Dearest Keefe,
As I write these words, I am overcome with the sadness of having to leave you. How can I tell you how much you mean to me? How my eyes always look for you in a room, how my heart yearns for your comforting words, how my hands miss the feel of yours, how I know I shall never find a friend quite like you. You may have been my knight, but you guarded so much more than my being. You stood up for my pride and you held my heart with hands so gentle it was sure to always be safe. You opened my world to the possibility of a life full of love but it seems that fate had other plans for us.
While I know we shall likely never meet again, I will carry with me the echo of your laughter and the memory of your touch. I often had dreams at night that we ran away together, you whisked me away and we lived far away from the cruel eyes of noble lineage and lived out a life of simplicity and hard work. We lived in a small village where we knew our neighbors and we helped everyone we knew. We'd have a couple of kids and they'd look just like you with my temper and we would love them with as much ferocity as parents can. I treasure the idea that my subconscious knows you would be a good father because I know it would be true were you to ever have children, whomever it's with, I hope you know that.
Nonetheless, we are not so brave as to deny our kingdom our duty. So I will walk the altar today and try not to look at you as I walk down the aisle. When we have to say goodbye lord knows I will be too choked up to say what I need to so I have made sure to write this for you so you not only know my feelings but have in writing that I will always love you Keefe Sencen.
One day, when this is just a memory of a fleeting moment of our past, I hope you remember that you gave me the greatest gift of love a person can receive and that you remember me fondly. I will always remember you that way.
With all my love,
Sophie
Keefe read the letter, then read it again just to be sure. It was heartbreaking but it also moved something inside him. He stood, determined to do something that was decidedly stupid and likely to get him in more trouble than he could imagine.
Suddenly, he was running down the street, feet pounding away at the cobblestone as if his determination might prompt the rock to lift his feet faster. The pressure building on his chest to slow down for a breath was nothing more than a background thought as he made his way to the church.
He couldn't let her do this.
She had been right, he was taking the easy way out. An easy life, one he thought was full of honor and duty, meant nothing if he couldn't have her. Duty to a country that would still exist without his shield, honor to a man who would one day lie in the earth just as he would.
That was his girl in there and he wasn't going to give up without a fight.
A small part of his brain was screaming at him for possibly ruining her future. She was used to luxury, comfort, and he wouldn't be able to provide any of that. Who was he to stop her from doing her duty?
On the other hand, who was he to take that choice away from her? She needed to know that he was all in, if she wanted a life with him then it would be an option. She needs to know that she has options.
Standing in front of the heavy oak doors, religious carvings staring back at him with music slipping through the cracks, he knew had to be braver than he ever had before. Stepping through those doors made him bold as the eyes of hundreds of important people he was sure to be embarrassed about speaking in front of later looked at him.
But then he saw her.
There had never been a more perfect bride.
Sophie was radiant, shining in her white gown. Her beautiful brown eyes locked with his, widening at the sight of him.
"What is the meaning of this!" the priest shouted, probably bewildered at the sight of a guard standing out of breath at the church doors, but he couldn't look away from her to check.
"You don't have to do this, Sophie."
The room gasped but no one made a move to keep him from entering so he walked down the aisle. Sophie's eyebrows shot up.
Before Keefe could continue, Fitz's guards grabbed him and held him back. Sophie gasped, horrified at Keefe being overcome by the men.
"Wait!" Fitz yelled, "He's right!"
The church gasped and Sophie looked at Fitz hopefully but glanced at her father nervously.
"Your Highness," Fitz began, looking at Sophie's father, "I know you need us married for your treaty to go through and your people to receive the grain you so desperately need. I tried to talk to your advisers last night but I was denied entry and told there was nothing that could be done, is this true? Would you not take another treaty for the happiness of your daughter?"
The King looked at Keefe suspiciously but then looked at Sophie, "Is this what you want, to not be married to Prince Fitz?"
Sophie straightened herself and looked as regal as she could, "It is, we do not love each other. So if the treaty can be achieved otherwise, it should be done."
"Fine," the King said and looked at Fitz, "What could we give you to fulfill our side of the treaty?"
"I have heard that your people are good swordsmen, let us train our guards here so we might be better at protecting ourselves," Fitz suggested.
An advisor whispered in the King's ear and he nodded, "That would be acceptable."
Sophie sighed with relief, "Thank you."
Fitz smiled widely, having found a solution to his predicament as well.
"Guards," the King said, "Take Sir Sencen away for his misconduct."
Sophie's eyes whipped to her father's in betrayle. The guards looked to Fitz for his directions as they followed his orders.
"Take him to the back to be dealt with properly," Fitz said, his face serious.
"No," Sophie whispered, desperate for Fitz to help her.
He gave her an assuring look.
"I am sorry for the exciting turn of events," Fitz announced to the church, "You may enjoy the feast that has been prepared for tonight in honor of our country's future prosperity with our new trade deal!"
The crowd gave an unsure murmur of agreement and stood to exit to the feast outside.
"Princess, you must want to get out of that heavy dress for the feast," Fitz said in a voice loud enough for the King to hear, "I'll send a lady's maid to your dressing room to help you."
She gave him a confused look but trusted to look he was giving her and heading to the church's backrooms to change. Inside, she found a very distressed Keefe alone and pacing the room.
"Keefe!" she exclaimed and rushed over to him. He looked up and met her halfway, kissing her as soon as he could.
"Ahem," Fitz said, as he entered the room a moment later. "Sorry to interrupt but you both don't have much time."
Sophie blushed but Keefe moved her behind him, unsure of the prince even if he had broken off their engagement.
"What do you mean?" Keefe asked, suspicious.
"I assume you came to confess your love to Sophie and steal her away but it seems that even with our broken nuptials, the king didn't look too excited to have his daughter's love be her personal knight. In fact, I think Sir Sencen is about ten minutes away from being thrown in the dungeons. Luckily for both of you, my men apprehended Sencen and the King believes we are bringing him there as we speak. It will probably be a couple hours until the feast ends and the King knows that you aren't here, the question is, will Sophie be gone too?"
Sophie gasped and looked at Keefe, his blue eyes piercing into hers.
"I love you, Sophie, if you will have me I would love nothing more than to fulfill that dream of yours and run away." His eyes shone with love for her. "But I won't pressure you into it, if you aren't sure or need more time you do not have to decide now. I can wait in a village while you figure out where your heart lies."
She gave him a big smile, "I already know Sencen, it's with you. I wouldn't want it any other way."
He kissed her, not embarrassed by Fitz witnessing their love, and cupped her face.
"You two better get a move on then," Fitz said, hurried, and helped Sophie grab a bag to put her things into. All of her trunks had been stored here until they were to be taken to Fitz's kingdom. She couldn't travel with all of it so she took what she thought was sensible. She moved to another room to change into more sensible clothes. "You can take my horse, it'll be faster that way."
Keefe nodded, "Thank you, Fitz, for everything."
Fitz gave him a look of respect, "It's not just for you two, I have my own love I need to chase."
Keefe smiled, "then I wish you the best."
Sophie emerged in her traveling clothes and grabbed her packed bag from Fitz, "ready?"
"Ready."
"Then let's go make some dreams come true," Sophie smiled and they walked out to Fitz's horse. They gave Fitz one last wave and rode out of the village.
"Where will we go?" Sophie asked, sitting in front of Keefe as he directed the horse.
"Pretty far, far enough for your father not to find us," Keefe responded. "I know of a village in the next kingdom over that another guard grew up in that he described as very beautiful, I figured we could start there."
Sophie smiled and kissed Keefe on his cheek, he glanced down at her and smiled.
"I love you, Sophie," he said, holding her close to him.
"I love you too Keefe," Sophie said, settling in against him, excited for their adventure into a future together. It would take a lot of hard work in a world she knew would be very different from the one she grew up in but she was excited by the newness and the possibilities. Anything that meant that she could be with Keefe was the right one, that much she was sure.
---------
A/N: Wow, 10,000 words. A little longer than the others lol, let me know if it's too long or if I should split it up into two chapters in the future.
Hopefully, you guys enjoyed this, I know I've done a couple of historical one-shots before but this one has been in the back of my mind for a while. I almost put this as a separate book altogether but I didn't have it in me at the moment to commit to a longer version.
Thank you all for 225k reads, it's been quite the journey. Happy New Year!