Saira Malik
"Why are we going to India, papa? Is. . . is something wrong?" I ask, clearing my throat to get rid of the hoarseness of my voice. An uneasy feeling settling in the pit of my stomach.
"Last night, your Uncle had called, saying he has good news." He started, looking at us from his chair.
Don't even remind me of last night! I wanted to scream. But contained my anger for some other time.
After my encounter with Caleb, I rushed to my room when Dad broke the news to me. I wasn't in any state of comprehending or replying to him. Nonetheless, I nodded and made my way towards my room.
You know the feeling, when you are so used to the love someone showers on you, and suddenly in the wink of an eye it just... disappears. And turns into the opposite.
That's what I felt. I was so used to joking with Caleb, laughing with him, spending time together that, be it in the presence of bhai. But it was more than I could ask for. And when he yelled at me last night. . . I didn't know what to do.
I couldn't defend myself, or protect him from hurting more than he already was. I couldn't apologize or sympathize with him.
All I did was cry. Infront of him and alone in my room.
Even now, as I recall his raised voice directed at me, it bought tears of sadness and the feeling of a massive loss in me.
It wasn't this bad, even the night he proposed to me, as much as it hurts now.
"Rehana is getting married." Dad announced, a proud smile on his face for his niece. My eyes moved to mom, who also had a genuinely happy smile on her face, asking if this is true. She nodded, confirming the news.
Ayan Malik, my father was the second in line of 4 siblings. My uncle, Adnan Malik was the eldest of all, with 2 younger sisters after my dad.
Adnan Malik, a.k.a Bade Papa, is living in the UK, with his wife Sana and 2 daughters. Rehana Malik, 2 years older than me and Ayra Malik, with only a month older.
Esra Malik, a.k.a Pho, was the third in line, and also my favorite in the women. She is happily living her life, with her family back in India.
Pho, being the first to break the 2 children tradition, has 3 kids. Emad, Maryam and Huzaifa. All of the younger to me except for Emad.
I didn't meet any of them, after we moved to US. It was only during Eid that we face time each other. Ot was only Pho's family, whom I was close to more than just wishing Eid Mubarak.
Bhai, who was sipping water from his glass, choked on it going into a fit of coughing. Instantly, mom rub his back, patting here and there.
"I'm fi-fine." He manages to say in between.
After a minute or so, he finally recovers, taking deep breaths. His face turned red from all the coughing.
"When--when is it?" He asks with a stiff voice, his expression turning hard.
What's up with up? He was fine and laughing only seconds ago!
Lagta hai dal makhni me kuch safaed hai. . .
"The date is not yet decided. But soon, inshallah." I nod my head, playing with the bits of egg on my plate. My appetite long gone. "This August, maybe."
"Papa... that's only 2 months away."
"Yes, and we are flying next month."
"What?! A month before, why? What would we do there? And let's not forget my ongoing training." I shrieked, with wide eyes.
"Saira, weren't you the one asking all about the place we grew up in?" He asked.
"Yes."
"Now, is the time you'll be seeing it all yourself. And about your training, that will be over in a... what... 30 days? So talk to them, about working from Hyderabad." He suggested, leaving no room for further argument.
I sigh, throwing my hands up in surrender. "Fine, whatever. I don't have a good reason to stay here anyway." I mutter, popping a blueberry in my mouth and slumping in my chair.
I glance at Bhai who was sitting across from me, looking for any sort of help. But he had his head low, glaring at the things on his plate, while his hand that clutched the fork, turned white.
What's gotten into him? I thought
The same as what's gotten into you! A voice whispered.
What have I gotten myself into? I groaned inwardly.
Later that day, after returning from work, I jogged up to Bhai's room and knocked at the door.
"Come in." Came in his voice. Pushing the door, I found him sitting on the bed, with a laptop and earphones stuffed in his ear. He put everything away, as I made my way towards him, plopping across on the bed.
I took my time wantedly, folding my legs in a desi style, and getting comfortable.
He had the 'don't-piss-me-off' look, as he glared at me and my harkatan.
"What is it?"
"What were you watching?" I tease, resting my chin on my palm, a smirk on my face.
"Saira... I'm not in a mood. Jo bolna hai jaldi bolo aur niklo yaha se."
"Like I am in a mood of teasing you. Kal hi toh breakup hua mera. Cheer me up!" I demanded.
"Breakup hua na? Go and get yourself a bucket of chocolate icecream, and watch "Tere Naam" or something." He said, going back to whatever he was doin on his laptop.
"Bhai, I'm serious. Do something about it! I feel so low... and sad... and like I'm a heartless bitch for hurting Caleb." Instantly, he took off his earphones, listening to my Ram katha.
The gesture along with the trigger, flooding me with all the emotions, I've been trying to suppress and forget.
"I had no intention of hurting him, bhai. I didn't want all of this to happen. He did it. It wasn't me. But... I'm hurt too. It should NEVER have happened. But.."
"But it did." He completed. His voice, broken and pained like he was going through it too. Like he could understand what I'm trying to say.
His eyes turned watery, as he held a pained expression. Gulping the lump in my throat, I managed to ask him.
"Aap ke saath kiya hua, Bhai? Who... who was she?"
His head that was hung low, slowly raised on my question. Our eyes locked as I patiently watched him. A hesitancy evident in his eyes and gestures. The way he opened his mouth, ready to tell me, but closing it back again.
He exhaled heavily, shutting his eyes. His jaw clenched like, even taking the name of the girl, burned him.
"Rehana." He said, alas.
I furrowed my brows. Is this the Rehana who is getting married in 2 months or is it my Bollywood mind, making scenes?
"Rehana... baji?"
He nodded. A lone tear rolling down his cheek.
The room turned silent. As the words sunk in. My eyes raised to look at his broken state. Not physically but what could be more painful than a heart break?
Did Caleb feel the same?
I don't know what got to me, but I jumped into his arms, taking him in a hug. Instantly, I felt him embrace me, tightening his hold as his body shook slightly. Tears pricked my eyes.
He cried for his failed love.
I cried for my lost friend.
He cried for his helplessness.
I cried for mine.
I don't know how much time had passed with us supporting each other. I everything we could do, until I pulled back, wiping my tears to see him do the same.
A chuckle escapes my lips. Looking at the condition we were in.
"Laugh all you want. Jab tumhare sath hua to malum hota."
I rolled my eyes at his comment, as silence followed.
"I am sorry for what happened with... Caleb. I--I didn't mean to hurt you or him. He told me he loved you, and I didn't want him to lose his love, like I. I'm sorry."
"It's alright, bhai. It wasn't your fault. It was bound to happen." He gave me a sad smile.
"I don't wanna go to India!" I whine, falling on the bed.
"Are you crazy? You've wanted that for so long! And when you have the opportunity right in front of you, why not grab it?"
"I don't know. I'd rather be here and fix things than go there creating new mess for myself."
"If this is about Caleb, Saira then I insist you should leave. It's better for both of you. You know Caleb! Cut him and yourself some slack. He'll come around eventually."
"But bhai-"
"You are going Saira. As soon as possible. Period." I huffed in frustration. What is it with men in my family and ordering?
"I won't be joining you guys, though." He said quietly.
"What?! Why? It's the first wedding of our generation. And it won't be--"
"I can't go, Saira. I can't. . .face her."
Immediately, I fell silent. 'Course, he can't. How would you feel when the person you loved, is saying 'qubool hai' for another man.
Ouch!
Isn't that what happened in 'Kal Ho Na Ho'?
Naina, marrying Rohit when she loved Aman. And the sad music playing behind when, Aman himself gives her hand in Rohit's.
URGH!
"Saira." Someone snapped their fingers in front of me, breaking my Shah Rukh Khan world.
"Kider?" He asked. I frown, shaking my head at him. He leaned back on the head board, staring into the distance with a far away look on his face.
An idea popped in my mind, for the two heartbroken people. Smiling to myself, I jump to my feet. Ignoring Bhai's weird stare, I head out of his room, making a dash for the kitchen.
Grabbing all the necessities, and my laptop, I set everything down on his bed, before climbing beside him.
"Takis, chocolate ice cream, Miss Vickies jalapeno potato chips, ginger ale and some napkins." I announce, pointing to the snack bar I managed to carry in my arms.
Bhai gave me a quizzing look, "For?"
"Break up hua na, let's celebrate!"
XOXO
~𝓓𝓲𝓱𝓪