His Diary | Killua Zoldyck

By _starlight07

157K 4.5K 16.7K

His diary.. His secrets.. What will you do when you get a hold of that two? Reading his diary.. Uncovering hi... More

Table of Contents
✿I don't like the way you are.
✿I would be lying if I say
✿I like how you are you
✿I would love to admit
✿Your smiles and laughs
❀A Kiss
✿It's not true
✿You make my heart go doki-doki
❀Killua is here
✿When you talk to me
stuck
❀Choosing Clubs
❀Alternative?
✿You ruined my day
✿The lie
✿I like you
❀You're sick?
✿The truth
✿I hate you
✿Never once in my life
❀You're pretty
✿you become the reason
✿ You become the reason
❀ Capturing the Best Shot
❀He who envies
✿A Poem For You
His Diary Characters
❖Her Bucket List 0

✿For my smile

776 26 46
By _starlight07

"Out of all the people, I'm the one you suspected?"

Evan was the one who initiated the talk about the incident, to which Adonia responded not long after.

"I don't see any reason why it wouldn't be you. You're very vocal about your hate towards Killua." Nia hums, thinking, "But that's also not enough evidence to accuse you, so I'll let you go for now."

The male scoffed a little at what he heard. "What are you, an officer?" He then began to walk away, but halted and came back in front of Nia.

"Where is this Zoldyck guy's classroom located?" Evan asked, making no sense to Nia.

Nia raised an eyebrow. "Why?"

"Er-nothing. I was just asking, haha. " Evan shrugged as he let out a tiny, awkward laugh.

Nia who's noticed there's something off about what's happening, sharpens her gaze at Evan. "You know something, do you?" She then held his wrists. "If you do, then you better start spilling."

Evan let out a sigh, looking away yet again. "Why should I? That is, if I know anything at all, which, as you can see, I don't." He let out a hum of agreement as he nodded to himself.

Nia, who is not really buying it, hardens her grip on his wrist. "Come on. Just tell me. You don't want me to be mad."

"Hehe~"

A quiet snicker made Nia loosen her grip for a bit as she was taken back by the action. Why laugh, now? Nia thought becoming more confused.

A quiet snicker made Nia loosen her grip for a bit, as she was taken back by the action. Why laugh now? Nia thought, becoming more confused.

"What if I'm actually into thi-?"

Evan did not get to finish what he was saying when his stomach got punched by Nia.

"Do I look like I'm joking right now?! I already told you, you don't-"

This time, Evan interrupted Nia. He hurriedly said, "Okay, fine! Fine! I'll say it!" He put his two hands up. "I'm not sure if it's him, but I'll tell you! I just realized it now... So I might be wrong but it's too much of a coincidence, so I highly suspect that it's him, so I.."

"Hey!" Nia snapped him out. "Who is this man?"

Evan's face grew serious and leaned in to tell the truth.

"Just earlier, I got a text from our Captain. He insists on having a sudden meeting in our club room at lunch break. It's unusual for him to do that since we usually have meetings after class. Although it's out of character for him, I still decided to go. But while on my way, I saw our Captain leaving a classroom. Hey! Hey! Listen up. Okay. You know, I'm in the same grade as you, right? So I'm walking down the hallway in the junior building. If Captain is a third year, why would he be in a classroom with a lower grade? It do happen though but what's suspicious is that there's literally no one in the classroom that he had just gotten out of when I took a look. I'm not sure if it's Zoldyck classroom though. That's all I know," Evan finished his story.

"It's not me," he added. "I'm just telling you this since you're kind of my type."

"I don't want to hear anything else from you," Nia told him off before walking away.

Evan, who was left alone, heaved out a sigh. "Oh Captain, it'll be really uncool of you if you're really the one who did that."

Adonia who soon met (Y/n) the day after her confrontation with Evan immediately spoke about it. She told you that this Evan guy saw the captain leave out of the junior high's classroom. Adding that she has no idea about the motive if it were the captain unlike the red haired one named Evan who was loud and clear about his dislike towards Killua. The exchange between nia made you ponder though. Wasn't the captain the weird guy who asked you about wanting to break him into pieces? But who was him that the captain was talking about? You thought that he was referring to the red haired guy but was it really him?

"Ugh.." You groaned, frustrated.

-

Tick tock tick tock

The sound of the clock ticking was adding to the tense atmosphere inside the student council designated room.

"Do you know why you are called here?"

The president of the student council asked, who was none other than Kurapika himself.

"Tsk." The guy, being questioned, clicked his tongue in annoyance. "Do tell, "he said shortly after.

"Yuji-san, 3rd year, Class D, captain of the soccer club. Do you have the faintest idea why you are here? " Kurapika continued, persistent.

The captain shrugged. "As I've said, please do tell, " Yuji replied with an indifferent tone as he flashed an insincere smile at the president.

"Hah! Look at this guy acting dumb!" Another voice yelled, this time from Leorio, a taller male with glasses. "You're the one who posted that shit on the school website! Don't you have any shame? Are you this petty? "

He was interrupted by the Captain, Yuji,  who cast a sidelong glance at him. Yuji speaks, "Now, now, on what grounds are you accusing me for doing that? Come on, why would I do that? I wouldn't want to tarnish our dear star player's reputation now, Would I? And do you really think it's okay to detain and question me in here just like a wanted criminal?" Yuji hardened his gaze at Leorio. "Dont think so."

Leorio returned the glare, quite annoyed at the Yuji guy.

"You wouldn't be saying that if you knew that;" Kurapika stole Yuji's attention from Leorio who instantly looked at him "-there was a CCTV camera in that hallway, even in the classroom. There is. We've got proof that you are the one who took a picture of the contents of the diary, " Kurapika retorted.

"Yeah!," Leorio chimed in. Yuji gritted his teeth before brushing his hair and laughing.

"Besides.." Kurapika mumbled as he put his hand on the chair that Yuji is sitting on for a brief while. "We've got a witness who saw you."

Yuji raised a brow. "Who is it?"

Kurapika shrugged. "Not telling you."

"Hah! You're bluffing!"

"Would you like to bet on that?" Kurapika chuckled amusingly in which made Yuji narrow his eyes at him.

"I may be the one who took pictures of it, but you can never say that it's me who posted it on the website. You don't have any proo-"

Kurapika cut him off with, "We do."

Yuji was astonished. "What?"

"We do," Kurapika repeated, "we can trace which student posted on our website even if the user wants to be anonymous."

"Ha?! What?! How?! " Yuji yelled, losing his composure. "You don't have any proof! Don't lie, you useless bastards! I made sure not to leave any traces of my posting that shit on the school's website! After all the trouble I went through because of that stupid Zoldyck and that annoying Evan, you're going to tell me this?! What the fuck are you on about? Just die, you all! "

Kurapika and Leorio were too dumbfounded to speak right after Yuji's outburst. It was a long minute before Kurapika cleared his throat and took out a phone from his pocket.

It seems that he clicked something on his phone, and just then, a voice was heard saying,

"You don't have any proof! Don't lie, you useless bastards! I made sure not to leave any traces of my posting that shit on the school's website! After all the trouble I went through because of that stupid Zoldyck and that annoying Evan, you're going to tell me this?! What the fuck are you on about? Just die, you all! "

Yuji was too stunned to speak. His voice..  He was being recorded all this time? As he was lost in the realization, he couldn't help but feel dumb.

Kurupika tapped on his shoulder. He smirked a bit. "We cannot trace the user who posted something anonymous on our website. I was just purely bluffing. " He smirked a bit. Kurapika glared at him slightly. "Got you."

The captain's hands turned into fists and his eyes darkened. You—you unruly bastard!—! "

Kurapika let out a hum, making Yuji raise an eyebrow. "We can't usually trace users, of course, but there are exceptions," Kurapika stated.

Kurapika locked his gaze on him. "We've got quite a capable tech person here. Let's just say he offered a big help in finding out who could have posted such a thing to our supposed-to-be-only-for-academic-purposes website. I've got proof that you are behind this, and I even have proof of you admitting to it. We know you did it, so you are definitely not going away with this. "

Leorio let out an evil chuckle. Yuji hung his head low. 

The other two were waiting for his response. A laugh resonated in the room. It wasn't a joyous laugh, nor was it a mocking laugh. It was only a laugh that had seemingly given up. A pathetic laugh.

"Fine... fine... You got me. I was the one who did it." Yuji muttered. Kurapika sighed and closed his eyes briefly before opening them again.

"Let's go to the principal's office now."

"Damn yeah, that's right!" Leorio added in, mocking as the three of them made their way into the office.

It was then decided after that Yuji would be suspended and would not be allowed to participate in any clubs. He also must give a public apology to the student most involved, Killua Zoldyck. Further consequences for what he had done are still being discussed by the school's executives.

-

It was exactly two days after the incident that Killua had come back to school. You didn't even know he came back until at the end of the school hours when you're about to go home. You were told by Gon that Killua came back however the dark green haired said Killua had gone off somewhere he didn't know.

The two of you started looking for Killua all over the school hoping he's still in it. Later on, Nia joined in the search. After a good ten minutes of searching for him, you bumped into the President of the anime club  who offered you help. Now all the club members are helping you out too.

"Maybe he went home?" The vice president voiced out.

What he said seemed reasonable and all of you decided to stop the search until a certain red haired appeared on the scene.

Evan who was grinning greeted you, "Hello there, familiar folks! How are we all doing today?"

All of you stared at him dumbfounded.

Why is this guy acting like he's close to us?

Evan who felt the awkwardness of the situation fake coughed. He then points his finger to the top of the building. "I saw the Zoldyck guy up there, in the rooftop."

The moment he finished talking, you immediately run towards the building leaving the club members, gon, nia, and evan together.

The red head followed your figure as it runs inside the building. "This is a truce, okay?" He spoke. Evan casts a side glance to Nia. "Maybe we can be friends now? Perhaps I can take you out on a da-"

He was cut off by Nia who sighed loudly. "I hope they are able to make up."

Gon nodded. "I hope so too."

Evan who was interrupted scratched his nape awkwardly. "Y-yeah. Me too."

"Us too!!" The yells of the anime club members startled the three which made them all laugh simultaneously.

-

You finally reached the rooftop and how you wish you could immediately saw that familiar white hair after opening the door but unfortunately you didn't. You took a deep breath and yells out his name.

Should you really be yelling his name like this?

Will he come to you if you continue doing this?

You honestly don't know yet you continue on doing so. "Killua!! Killu-"

"I'm here."

A voice interrupted your yells. Your head instantly turned around and there you see him, his bright blue eyes staring in your own.

"Killu-"

You were once again interrupted by the same guy who interrupted you. Killua spoke, "Shouldn't you look around and use your eyes instead of wasting your energy yelling out in the same place like that? What? Do you expect me to just show up 'cause you called my name?" He stopped momentarily as he looks away, a tint of pink in his ears becoming visible. "I guess you're right since I did show up after you call out my name," He mumbles.

You paid no attention to his little jab and hold both of his wrists as tears forms in your eyes. "I'm sorry Killua. I stole your diary and it's not m-"

You stopped yourself from speaking. You thought there's no one to blame here but you so you spoke again. "I know it's my fault it got leaked 'cause I shouldn't steal it in the first place ."

No words were exchanged after that. It was just the of you staring at each other. Well, he staring at you and you staring at him with blurry eyes due to the tears.

Killua sighs and broke out of your grip gently. "I know it's not you who did that so stop your crying."

You were surprised as you utter a confused sound. "What?"

Killua smiled as he took out a handkerchief from his pocket. "You're too much of a dumbass to even think of that," He told you as he gently cups your cheek and wiped your tears with his handkerchief. The smile he wore became smug as his gaze went up from the tears in your cheeks to your eyes.

It feels as though time had stopped for you were frozen in your spot, unable to react.

A laugh resonated in the rooftop. It came from Killua. He then backs up and lightly tapped your head. "Im kidding. Don't worry about it, (Y/n). I know it's not you. I trust you."

He coughs awkwardly. "It was just embarrassing to me that you had to find out that way. I couldn't even find the courage to come to school because I know I'll see you. I was.. Well.. I was afraid to face you. I realized running away is not gonna solve any of this so I.. I came to school today hoping I'll get to talk to you but once I was here, I got scared again. I couldn't take myself to face you. I guess I really am a pussy after all, huh?"

You shook your head instantly when you heard him. "No-"

He puts a finger in front of your lips, shushing you up. "It's fine. I know I am. That's why I want to thank you."

You tilted your head at him. "Thank me? Why?"

Killua took his finger back and used the same hand to cover half of his face. "For finding me. For giving me a chance to talk to you. Since I'm too much of a pussy to find you myself,"Killua mumbles.

"Thank you, (Y/n)." He uncovered his face and showed you his shy smile. "And I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for all those hurtful things I said and did. I know I can't just erase those things with a simple sorry but still, I'm sorry. And.. I'm also sorry for you finding that I.. uh.. like you.. in that way." His words  starts to fade out as he got closed in the end of his sentence. The blush in his face becoming visible as he finished speaking.

Your heart skipped a beat. Hearing him say himself that he likes you already made you blush but noticing him blushing after is the icing of the cake. It made you blush even more.

"I- I'm okay with it now. You already said sorry before. S.. Stop apologizing! I already told you it's okay and and.. I should be the one apologizing for finding it out that way.. I.. Uh.. I stole it and.. Aren't you the one who's supposed to be mad?" You were flustered as you were speaking, tending to shout, stutter, and voice fading out in between of your sentences. You were looking at Killua in the beginning and he was staring at you so intently you had to break away your gaze so now you're looking at his side, away from his eyes.

"It's fine," You heard him say. "I was hoping you'll see it anyway," He muttered which you didn't quite catch.

"What?" You asked for him to repeat it again as you look at him the same time.

The two of you met eyes which made the beating of your heart even faster.

"I said it's fine." Killua scratched his nape bashfully not breaking eye contact with you.

"I.." You start off. What are you supposed to say? You don't even know. Anything. Anything will do. You can't take this atmosphere anymore. You feel like you're gonna faint anytime soon. This is too much for your heart. "I guess we're even now. No more silly and dumb pranks or actions... For the both of us." You managed to say out, chuckling awkwardly at the end of your sentence.

"You got it, boss. "Killua nodded and flashed you a smile.

"Hm." You mumbled a him of agreement while taking your eyes off of him.

You internally had to scream 'cause that King of smile was uncalled for.

This- this this fucking heart!
Stop it already!
It's just a smile!

You had to remind yourself to calm down. Are you going crazy? Is this how Killua feels whenever he sees your smile? Is this it? You were reminded of the content of his diaries which no doubt made you more feel intense, thrilled, excited, flustered, heck you don't even know what these feelings are.

As you were busy telling your damn heart to calm down and for you to compose yourself, Killua started talking.

"I... I want to tell you something...if you don't mind."

Your head turned to look up at him. "W-what is it?"

Curse you tongue for stuttering!

You cussed yourself once again in your head. You were about to continue but you heard Killua speak.

"There are-" He stopped momentarily catching his breath before speaking again. "-times where I catch myself smiling unconsciously when I'm with you and times where you unbelievably made me feel s-something. I did something I wouldn't normally do for anyone. The moments with you... feels so much different compared to others. I figured it might have been what they call crushes or so but I don't really believe it. I said to myself this ain't like those silly emotions I saw in those cringe drama love stories."

He walked one step closer to you.

"But time goes on and on but it isn't going away... I'm sure of it by then yet I still denied it. I couldn't admit it to myself. It took a lot of time and courage for me to acknowledge it, that I'm actually experiencing the silly emotion I once sneered at and when that happened, I-" He laughed at himself."-said to myself, Ah- I'm fuc- screwed."

He walked one step closer to you again.

"I would die for your smile. I want to see it every second, every minute, every hour, every day, every.. You know. And it's not even only your smile. I want to see you laugh, hear your voice, see you, touch you-" He put his hands up. "O-ofcourse not touch as in touch, you know! I just simply wish we could hold hands or I could hold you or - I m.. mean-" He breathes in before continuing again. "I'm just.. I'm afraid we'll lose our friendship once I confess and I really don't want that. I told myself I'm gonna have to suck these feelings up rather than losing you and never being able to hang out with you like the usual times again. " He puts a hand in his pocket as he closed the distance between you again.

"I just want to be with you"

"You..." You were speechless. You didn't know what to reply. You felt yourself starting to cry again due to the intense emotions you're feeling and for all the things Killua said to you. "You think about me like that.." You mumbled.

Just then, Killua noticed you're about to cry again so he took out his hand from his pocket to wipe your tears away however a piece of paper had also gotten out at the same time and landed on the floor. You've noticed your name written on it.

"A paper...?" You muttered in confusion.

Killua breaks into a nervous sweat upon accidentally revealing the piece of paper.

"Killua..." You called out his name. "What's that?"

As the question escapes your lips, Killua's face had gotten rather pale.

-

How are the people, who commented cruel stuffs about Nia, feeling? MWUAHAUAHUA

It is not Nia.

Sorry for the late update once again.

Many mistakes and grammar errors are here. I'm sorry.

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