Liams hand trembled with the key in the lock, the boutique was only small but the shelves were full of fancy undergarments in different styles and colours. I sat on a large pink circular stool in the middle of the store, flicking off my shoes. Liam stood nervously close by, twiddling with his fingers and trying not to make direct eye contact with me or the underwear.
"You okay?" I said assessing his face.
"How can you be so cool about this?" he asked with his beetroot face.
God Liam, it's just underwear.
"I don't know, when you get drunk, strip down to your underwear, throw yourself at someone and try to proposition them for sex this doesn't really seem that big of a deal. What's your favorite colour?" I asked, trying to ease him into it.
"Red." He said feeling brave enough to meet my gaze.
"Okay, we'll start there." I walked over to the red panties and browsed through them.
"No. I like the green. To match your eyes." He nodded towards the green section and I was surprised at his involvement. I picked up a few matching sets in different shades of green.
"and this." Liam handed me another one in red.
"and this." He handed me another in coral.
"and this." One more in black.
"Wow, you sure did succumb to the dark side fast enough." I joked and he just gave me a deadpan stare that told me to shut up.
***
I looked at myself in the mirror, my heart raced knowing I was about to open the curtains and reveal myself to Liam who sat on the cushioned benches outside playing angry birds on his phone. Up until this moment I was pretty calm inside but now that I was standing here semi naked I was starting to lose my cool.
"I'm ready" I called out to him.
I heard the music to his phone stop and footsteps approached.
"You coming out?" Liam said from behind the thin piece of fabric that separated us.
"It's a little ... unnerving." I admitted.
"It's unnerving for me to." He admitted.
I took deep breath and slowly pulled back the curtain. Liams mouth dropped open as his greedy eyes slowly moved up and down my exposed body.
"wow." he whispered, not taking his eyes off my body.
I stood awkwardly feeling completely naked under his tantalizing gaze. His eyes filled with desire and he teased me by licking lips really slowly, making me focus on nothing but them. He reached out and ran the back of his fingers up the length of my midriff, causing my lips to part with my rapid breathing.
"Liv."
I don't know if it was a warning or a question but my name sounded so good coming from his mouth. I stepped forward, needing to feel his lips on mine. He took the bait, throwing his arms around my neck and running his fingers in my hair. Pressing his sweet lips against mine, deeply and passionately as his excitement rubbed against my leg wanting to be freed from the material in caging it. The taste of Liam satisfied all of my senses as our lips swelled with the clashing of one another.
I wanted to feel him, the warmth of his body against mine. Skin to skin. I lifted my hands to the bottom of his t.shirt, halting there for a few moments so he knew what I planned. He didn't stop me, he just continued pouring his heart and soul into my mouth. So I edged the material up, skimming his skin with my hands as the cotton delicately rose higher.
I didn't want to break the kiss by lifting his t.shirt over his head but once I got it high enough I pressed my body into his, feeling everything in that one simple connection. My fingers twitched to stroke his abs so I allowed them to wander, feebly pressing my whole hand against his toned chest. Liam flinched.
He broke the kiss incontinently, killing all the mood that had just bubbled up between us. He bowed his heads in his hands and let out a frustrated, angry groan that echoed through the walls. With post haste he stood up and threw his fist against the brick wall making me jump, he then stormed out of the fitting room leaving me alone to process what had just happened.
I momentarily followed Liam out, removing the underwear and redressing myself in my own clothes. Liam was sitting back on the cushion, clutching his bleeding knuckles and looking rather lost.
"Liam?" I said cautiously but he didn't reply so I took a seat next to him.
"I'm sorry." I said nervously, he sighed.
"You're not the problem Liv, I am. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm so damaged. I wish I wasn't." He couldn't even look at me, he just clutched his hand and reeked of self hatred.
"Liam, don't you see? What just happened then... it was progress."
He finally brought his eyes up to meet mine, but he looked at me like I had grown two heads. So I continued to explain.
"Last night you wouldn't even sleep next to me in case my skin touched yours, today you were practically shirtless on top of my bare skin. I took it too far with my hand, but what just happened ... it was pretty intimate and you did okay."
"Really?" Liam doubted my words.
"Yeah." I reassured him.
"I just ... I want it so much but there's this block that stops me and I don't want you to feel like I'm rejecting you because I'm not. I'm rejecting the intimacy because I can't handle it."
"I know, you don't have to explain it to me, I understand." I put my arm around Liam to comfort him in a risky move when he was feeling so vulnerable, but he didn't flinch.
"Liv?"
"Yeah?"
"I want to be the one who takes your virginity but I know you said you're ready and I also know I'm not. That is really embarrassing for me to say because of my track record and you being the virgin but when we do it, I want it to be different from all the other times and right now, that's not an option for me. Will you wait?"
"Liam I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else there's no rush, no pressure. We'll just see how things go."
"You looked hot, keep that pair. The pastel green goes really well with your tanned complexion and it illuminates your eyes." Liam released a smile that lightened the mood, even if it didn't reach his eyes just yet. I blushed from the compliment.
"Where are we going next?"
'You must be feeling on top of the world from that experience, so let's go somewhere that mimics that. Maybe not on top of the world but definitely on top of the town. Go to the highest point in town and look down at city lights. This is your moment to share all of your best kept secrets and leave them up there when you descend back down.'
Liam read the next envelope out and smiled with amusement from certain things.
"wow, we really don't tell our friends anything, do we?"
"nope" Liam said laughing.
***
Liam & I posed for selfies holding pizza slices and uploaded them to his instagram tagging Jordan and Tia just show them we rebelled against the rules. The view really was amazing at night considering it was just lights on buildings but it reminded me stars peaking through the darkness.
"What is your secret then?" I asked with a mischievous glint in my eyes.
"I don't really have secrets, I'm an open book." Liam said causing us both to erupt into laughter.
I tucked into another slice of barbecue chicken pizza, listening to the distant honking of the road rage going on in the streets below.
"Hey, when I watch your games I noticed little things you players do before passing the ball to each other. Like you'll scratch your nose or wipe sweat from your head. Is it a coincidence or is some kind of secret code?"
"Liv! I might share with you all of my secrets, but if I dared uttered the secrets of the team then I would have to kill you." he threw me a playful smile but refused to elaborate any further. "I got into Stanford, full ride." he announced casually.
"What! Liam! That's great! I'm so proud of you!" I sounded more excited than him, but I knew inside he was proud of himself even if he was just trying to remain modest.
"Thanks." he said.
We sat in a comfortable silence for a while, listening to the wind whirl around our ears until Liam broke the silence.
"I have a secret." he said, sounding a little nervous now.
"Okay..." I said, waiting for him to say more.
"At the lock in, when I said I was falling for you ... I lied."
My head whizzed round to face him and I felt like time was standing still. What the fu-
"I'm not falling for you, I've fallen."
My mouth dropped open but I was unable to speak. My heart raced and the butterflies fluttered.
"I love you Olivia. I think deep down I always have but being around you again has heightened those feelings. You're the first person I think of when I wake up and the last person I think of before I go to sleep. You make feel safe, wanted, loved. I love you so much it hurts when I can't be close with you."
"Liam... I love you too." I said quietly hearing those words on my lips for the first time and they felt so right.
"You do?" he looked surprised at my admission.
"Of course I do."
Liam lay me down over the rocks and hovered his body over mine, locking my lips into a romantic embrace. This time I was careful to keep my hands to myself and just enjoy the sensation of him pouring his feelings into me. Liam loved me and I loved him.