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The feeling of somebody gently running their fingers through your hair awakes you from your slumber. You whine quietly from being woke up, and slowly blink your eyes open, having to adjust to the bright light seeping through the blinds.
"Good morning, sweetheart." A deep voice whispers.
A giggle escapes past your lips, when you feel Ruel leave kisses all over the back of your neck. You turn around to face him, flashing him a small grin. "Good morning."
His hand slides down to your waist, while his eyes scan your entire face with a soft expression. "How are you feeling?"
You lean forward to give him a quick peck, your content expression still showing. "I feel great."
For the past few months, you and Ruel have had a...friends with benefits type situation going on. Whenever he wasn't on tour, or wasn't in the studio working on new songs, he would meet up with you. Basically whenever he was free. You guys had never made it official, because you both agreed that it wouldn't work.
It was completely no strings attached. Just hooking up.
At least that's what you thought.
Ruel frowns, still concerned despite your answer. "You're not sore at all? I know I was rougher than usual last night-"
"I'm okay, Ruel. I promise." You send him a reassuring smile, one that he returns, before he suddenly pulls you against his chest.
When you feel his bare chest against yours, you remember the fact that you're still naked. It didn't really faze you though. Ruel has already seen everything multiple times.
When he leans in, obviously wanting to kiss you, you quickly place your hand over his mouth with a giggle. "I need to brush my teeth."
He pouts, once you remove your hand, and tightens his arm that's around you. "I need a kiss."
"You'll get one after, silly." You brush your fingers through his soft hair.
Ruel mumbles under his breath, but hesitantly let's you go anyways.
You shake your head at his clingy behavior, not that you're complaining, and head into the bathroom after pulling his large shirt on. The impatient boy follows after you.
The both of you finish brushing your teeth together. Yes, you have a toothbrush at his place. You're there so often, so it's only smart.
Just as you finish brushing your hair too, Ruel moves to stand right behind you. His arms snake around your waist, both hands sneaking under the oversized shirt you're wearing, so they can rest on your stomach.
Something you noticed lately, is that he's become more...touchy-feely. Sure, he liked to give you kisses randomly, but he never used to do things like this, or like what he did in bed just a few minutes ago. Brushing his fingers through your hair.
You didn't mind it at all, you were just a bit confused, since the both of you mutually agreed that no feelings were allowed.
"You're so pretty, Y/N." Ruel tells you quietly, maintaining eye contact through the mirror, while also bending down to rest his chin on your shoulder. "No, you're gorgeous."
That's another thing. He used to only compliment you while in bed, but now he does it all the time.
It still takes you by surprise every time.
Your face turns slightly red. "Thank you."
He grins, as his hands get higher and higher, until they're right under your breasts. "I still haven't received a kiss yet."
You turn around around in his hold, forcing him to move his hands back down to your hips. "Only because you're cute." And then you stand on your tippy toes to crash your lips onto his.
Ruel doesn't waste any time before returning the gesture, his hold on you tightening even more. He deepens the kiss after only a few seconds, and everything was going fine, until suddenly you felt a tingling sensation in your stomach.
Butterflies. Something you've never really noticed before while kissing him.
This new feeling surprised you, so on instinct you pull away.
This causes him to raise his eyebrows questioningly. "Everything okay?"
"Yeah." You attempt to send him a convincing smile, but you honestly just felt confused. Why did kissing him just now feel so much better than usual? "I-I should go. I have to work later."
He frowns, shaking his head while placing both hands on the bathroom counter, right next to each side of your body. Basically trapping you. "Stay a little longer, baby. Please?"
Usually it's easy for you to say no when he asks questions like that, but now all you feel like doing is staying here with Ruel. You have to fight the urge to agree, and instead shake your head sheepishly.
"I really can't. But I can stop by later tonight if you want?"
"Fine." He stands up straight. "But I expect to see you as soon as you get off of work."
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- can't make it tonight, sorry :(
You hit send, feeling guilty immediately after.
It's not like you to flake on Ruel. You're always down to have some fun, or even just spend time with him.
But you can't shake off the weird feeling you got earlier. The fluttering in your stomach, and the way your lips tingled while touching his. You couldn't stop thinking about it all day. You were scared of what it meant, of why you suddenly felt that way with Ruel, which is why you cancelled.
- should i come there then?
- i miss you
There they are again. Those stupid butterflies.
- no, i'm honestly not feeling good :/
-but i'll see you tmrw, okay?
- sure baby, i hope you feel better x
With that, you leave him on read, deciding not to respond. It wasn't necessarily a lie, right? You were definitely feeling a little off.
He was so sweet about it though, and that only made you feel worse about canceling. He's always treated you so well.
The sooner you figure these feelings out, the sooner you guys can go back to normal.
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It has been exactly five days since you last saw Ruel. And you're the only one to blame for that.
He's made a countless number of efforts to text and call, but the most you've done is answered a few texts with some made up excuses.
You were almost positive he was starting to catch on to the fact that you were ignoring him. But to be fair, you had a semi-good reason for it.
You found out why you were suddenly feeling things around Ruel. Why you felt so amazing around him.
You like him.
As more than just someone you'd hook up with. And that scared you, because relationships were never really your thing after the last one ended badly. You wanted to stay away from labels, such as boyfriend and girlfriend. That's why you chose friends with benefits.
Why on earth were your feelings towards Ruel so different?
All you know is that telling him will only ruin what you already have going on, and that's the last thing you want to do.
Your phone buzzes on the couch next to you, and you already know it's him, since he's the only one who's been texting you lately.
You sigh and pick the device up, unlocking it to see the message. Your eyes widen as you process what it says.
- hey, we need to talk. i'll be over in 5
What? What does 'we need to talk' mean?
Mentally, you were panicking, but you tried to remain calm, as you pace around by the front door. What if he's not interested in what we have anymore? What if he found someone he likes?
So many questions run through your head, until the sound of knocking interrupts your thoughts.
You wait a few seconds, take a deep breath, and finally pull the door open.
Ruel stands only a few feet away, his arms crossed over his chest and an eyebrow raised down at you.
"Hi Ruel." You smile sheepishly, and back away so he can enter.
"Y/N." He sighs, turning around to face you after you close the door. "Why have you been avoiding me?"
You fain confusion, but you've never been good at acting or lying, so it's no use. "I-I dont know what you're talking about."
He scoffs quietly. "So when you said that you had the flu this morning, that was the truth?"
You laugh nervously and avoid his intimidating eyes, choosing not to answer. Which is really all he needed to know the truth.
When you glance at him again, you see his eyes have slightly soften, and his jaw has stopped ticking. "Tell me whats wrong, princess. I hate when you're upset."
You couldn't help but ask, "Why?"
He seems shocked by this. "Why what?" Though it's clear he knows exactly what you're asking.
"Why do you care how I feel?"
Ruel looks away, running his fingers through his hair. "Because I...You mean a lot to me, Y/N. How could I not care how you feel?"
He was nervous, that you could tell. And that just made you even more suspicious of his feelings for you.
You decide you've avoided the subject enough.
"We said, from the beginning, that no feelings were involved...right?" You raise your eyebrows questioningly, just to be sure you're on the same page.
Ruel's eye snap up from the ground and right to you, and that's when you see an emotion close to sadness flash through them. He clears his throat. "Uh, yeah, we...we did."
"Exactly, and I-I don't know if i'm just overthinking this, but it doesn't seem like you've been following that rule. You've been acting different. You treat me like i'm your girlfriend or someth-"
"I like you, Y/N." He interrupts your rambling, and it takes you a few seconds to process his words, but when you do, your eyes widen. "A-And I know we agreed that our relationship was no strings attached, but fuck...I can't keep pretending that I don't have feelings for you."
His words leave you completely speechless, and you can't help but stare at him in shock. Obviously you had your suspicions, but you didn't expect him to confess so quickly.
Ruel takes a step forward, his burst of confidence almost gone, as his nervous look returns. "Say something."
You slowly shake your head and take a small step back. "I...I don't know what to say." Your voice barely above a whisper.
He bites his bottom lip and once again fills the gap between your bodies. "Tell me how you feel." His voice just as soft as yours was. "Please."
"Okay, I-" You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for what you're about to admit. "I like you too." His eyes light up. "But I don't know if I can be in a relationship." And then he frowns. "It's just, you know how my last one turned out, Ruel. I-I don't think I can..." You trail off, avoiding any eye contact with him at all.
"Y/N, love." He brings his hands up to cup your face, forcing you to look up at him. "I would never hurt you the way he did, or at all, for that matter."
You laugh sarcastically. "That's what they all say. But it's a lie. It's always a-"
Before you can even finish your sentence, Ruel stops you by leaning down and gently, yet forcefully, crashing his lips onto yours. It takes you by surprise at first, but slowly you return the kiss.
You have to pull away for air after almost a minute.
The tall boy barely inches away, sends you a promising look. "I mean it." He whispers, while one of his hands slides down to your waist. "I know it's hard to believe, but please trust me when I say that you are the first girl I have ever even remotely been attracted to." You open your mouth to say how that can't possibly be true, but he stops you. "Ask my sisters, ask my manager...you're all I ever talk about, baby, because I honestly can't stop thinking about you."
Yet again you're left not knowing what to say. How is he so good at expressing his emotions, you wonder.
You stare up at him silently, trying to find any sign of a lie. When you don't find anything, you decide that you can trust him, and his words.
"All I want is for you to be mine, Y/N. That's all i've ever wanted from the moment I first met you." He uses his thumb to gently rub your cheekbone.
"You-You promise you won't hurt me?" You stutter quietly, slightly leaning into his comforting touch.
A small smile appears on his face. "I promise."
"Okay." You bite your lip, attempting to hide the excited grin wanting to appear. "I trust you."
Ruel is like a breath of fresh air for you. He has been from the start, when he quite literally saved you.
Your last relationship was toxic, and it got to the point where he made you feel like you couldn't be alive any longer. Like you didn't deserve to be alive. And that's what broke you the most. You were so close to ending it all, and the day you had planned to do so, you ran into Ruel at your local coffee shop.
Ruel's smile widens, and if possible, he pulls you even closer. "You have no idea how happy that makes me." He leans down to kiss your forehead, quietly mumbling, "Does this mean you'll be my girl? Strings attached and everything?"
A giggle escapes past your lips and you nod. "Strings attached and everything."