a/n: the first few are bits from victorious, just a heads up :^
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Ash: I just woke up from my nap and this was on my chest.
Eiji: Ew. A dead lizard?
Ash: Well, it's dead now.
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Sing (visiting Yue's mansion once more to give him a headache): Ooh~ You don't look happy.
Yut-Lung: It's 'cause I'm not.
Sing:
Sing: Y a y.
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Yut-Lung: If someone was pushed off this catwalk and they landed on the floor really hard, do you think they'd live?
Eiji: Why are you asking?
Yut-Lung: No reason.
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Sing: *outside Yut-Lung's house*
Sing, texting: Yo, I'm here. You still alive?
Sing: *awake
Yut-Lung: I wish I wasn't.
Sing: Alive or awake?
Yut-Lung: Yes.
(from lmfaoaccurate on instagram)
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Sing: I asked for a fair day's pay after a fair day's work.
Sing: And he kinda got a little angry so, I admit, I kinda got a little angry.
Ash: Did you kill him?
Sing: What kind of fucking animal do you take me for? No, I didn't kill him!
Ash, sighing in relief: Oh, fuck...
Sing: But I did kidnap his brother!
Sing: *opens the car's trunk to reveal a tied up Yut-Lung*
Ash: O H N O-
(from grand theft auto/gta 5)
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Jim: I didn't raise you to be a quitter, you know.
Ash: You didn't raise me at all, old man.
(from spencerreiddd on tumblr)
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Ash: Bye, have a good day!
Eiji: Thanks, have a great day!
Ash: Have an amazing day!
Eiji: Have an incredible day!
Ash: HAVE A MAGICAL FUCKING DAY, YOU SON OF A BITCH-
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Sing: If you were to die, what would your last words be?
Yut-Lung: Finally.
Sing: No-
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Yut-Lung: Hey, how are you?
Ash: I'm good.
Ash:
Yut-Lung:
Yut-Lung: I'm good too. Thanks for asking, shithead.
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Yut-Lung: Whenever you think that you're unattractive, just look in the mirror...
Yut-Lung: And now you know you're unattractive.
Yut-Lung: Education.
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Ash: So, ya'll see this bed?
Ash: It's soft. It's comfortable.
Ash: Imma 'bout to lay down and stay down.
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Yut-Lung: This coffee's bitter.
Yut-Lung: Like my soul.
Yut-Lung, looking for clothes: I need something black.
Yut-Lung: Like my soul.
Yut-Lung: Agh- It's cold!
Yut-Lung: Like my soul.
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Yut-Lung: Damn, I miss her.
Ash: She's not worried about you. You don't even exist. She's getting treated right right now but alright, keep your head up.
Yut-Lung:
Yut-Lung: I'm talking about my deceased mother.
(from cerealcentral on instagram)
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Ash: In high school, I was dared to play "gay chicken", which is where two straight guys pretend to be gay, and the first one to chicken out loses. The other guy and I are really stubborn, and neither of us wanted to lose.
Ash: We've been married 14 years now and we run a bed and breakfast hotel in Vermont with our adopted daughter.
Ash: If that dude doesn't chicken out soon, I'm going to start to suspect he's actually gay.
(i think this one was from r/askreddit - copypasta...i think. correct me if im wrong :v)
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[texting]
Sing: WHERE
Sing: ARE
Sing: YOU
Sing: GUYS
Ash: WE'RE
Ash: FUCKING
Ash: GETTING (message undistributed)
Ash: DRINKS (message undistributed)
Sing: WHAT THE FUCK
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Eiji: I wish I could date a guy like you.
Ash: I'm a guy like me.
Eiji: Alright then, want to go on a date?
Ash, internally: I was not expecting that.
(from spicypub on instagram)
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Yut-Lung: If rubbing alcohol fixes outside boo-boos, then drinking alcohol fixes inside boo-boos.
Sing: Bro, no-
(from lil_wrapper on instagram)
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Sing: *passing notes*
Blanca: Would you like to read that note to the rest of the class?
Sing: NO! YOU BITCH!
Blanca: Whoa, calm-
Sing: I just read the note.
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Sing: If I can't be accurate, I sure as hell am gonna be extra.
(from brian david gilbert)
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Ash: Water solves everything.
Ash: If you're thirsty, just drink water.
Ash: If you're trying to lose weight, just drink water.
Ash: Trying to get clear skin? Just drink water.
Ash: Have a best friend that stabbed you in the back?
Ash: Drown them....with water <3
(from procreate_.lettering_ on tiktok)
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Yut-Lung: Yeah, I'm leaving you bastards now.
Wang-Lung: Tsk. Once you do, you'll never find a guy to support you like us again.
Yut-Lung:
Yut-Lung: NO FUCKING DUH! THAT'S THE ENTIRE GODDAMN POINT-
(inspired by a tiktok from gingerjessx)
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(and i will finish this one off with a wholesome hurrah)
Eiji: Always do your best.
Eiji: And everybody's best is different.
Eiji: You can't always be the best.
Eiji: But you can always do your best.
(from funmblr on instagram)