Part 5
September came and Caroline felt somewhat bereft as she waved Freddy off at school and took little Charlie to playgroup. She was deeply grateful to John who had suggested that she might not want to be alone at this moment and had come in the car with her.
After leaving Charlie she held back the tears that had been threatening since leaving Freddy until climbing back into the car. John saw the quiver of her bottom lip and took her hand so gently that the tears began to flow and she couldn't stop them.
John took her into his arms and let her rest her head on his shoulder whist she sobbed noisily, ' I'm so sorry John, she said as the tears subsided a little, what am I like ?'
John stroked her hair wanting to kiss her forehead but not trusting himself to end it there. 'You're like any Mother having to let her children away from her for the first time. You'll have Charley back at lunchtime and Freddy at 3 O'clock, they'll be fine.
Why don't I take you for a cup of something hot and comforting in town?' Caroline smiled. ' You're a total sweetheart, just what I need'.
They sat in a Hebden Bridge café with mugs of hot chocolate. ' Not long now until your Andy gets back isn't it ?' John asked.
Caroline nodded and sighed. ' On the 20th to be exact.'
Up until the 20th , John made himself keep his distance from Caroline. If he continued with the intimacy of recent days then he knew he would lose all control and he didn't yet know how Caroline felt about her husband. Clearly the marriage was not an especially happy one but if Caroline was nonetheless in love with the man she married then he was not about to put a spoke into the wheel.
Caroline was bitterly disappointed. She had begun to hope that she had some chance with John and now that hope seemed to be dashed. He was clearly afraid of what her husband might say but a husband was the last thing that Andy had been to her.
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On the 20th September Andy Lawton returned home with a blaze of publicity. He finally swept into the drive of his manor house in a chauffeur driven limousine. ' Ah it's good to be home' he thought. This was what he had got married for to have a family waiting for him and a home made comfortable by a woman's touch.
Freddy and Charlie greeted their father cautiously. They didn't have a particularly close bond with him. Andy didn't do small children, they were too messy for one thing. Caroline got a ' hiya Caz' and that was all.
Andy greeted Rick and Phyllis who he had met already then turned to John, Rick introduced them and John seemed to become shy and timid again rather overwhelmed by the charismatic, over confident Andy.
He played ball with his boys for half an hour, establishing himself as the devoted father. He spoke to Caroline in the same way that he did the staff, after all she was his wife as a 'job' as far as he was concerned. Tonight he would be sharing his bed with one of his girlfriends.
That night in her own lonely bed she thought of John. His strong muscular body only seen once shiny with water but dreamed of frequently, she pictured his heavenly smile and recalled the feeling of his arms around her as she cried on her children's first day at school.
Her eyes closed as she imagined him with her now enveloping her with all the tenderness she hoped she had seen in his lovely eyes. Her own eyes would remain open through out, wanting to watch him and share the experience with him.
The next morning Andy came downstairs with a beautiful Swedish girl called Ulrika that Caroline had seen twice before.
Caroline was introduced as usual as the children's nanny and was expected to wait on Andy's guest as well as him.
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It was typical of Andy and his friends that they would return home on Thursday and want a party to celebrate on Saturday. He had rung home a week before and told Caroline what he required her to get ready for it.
On the evening of the party Phyllis was somewhat annoyed that even though Caroline had been working like a cart horse to get the party ready, she was as usual being treated like a member of staff not the lady of the house.
That role had been given instead a beautiful redhead called Rebecca, who was in Barcelona until the weekend. She was the longest established and favourite out of Andy's girlfriends and the one he was with most often.
She had never become Mrs Lawton officially because of her lack of domesticity but quite clearly she had all the trappings of being a wife that were denied to Caroline.
A careful observer could see during the evening that affectionate though Andy was towards Rebecca, she was far from being the sole recipient of his amorous attentions.
Rick and John were working as barbecue chefs tonight and were amusing themselves with barbed comments about many of Andy's glamorous guests. They were both spitting fire at the fact that Andy was treating his wife like a servant allowing his guests to do the same.
By now John was quite adamant that Caroline did not have a real marriage so decided it was high time to declare himself and give the both of them a chance of happiness.
His one problem was how to begin. His flirting skills were practically non existent, so he asked Rick. His friend chuckled. 'About time one of you got stuck in', he looked at John in astonishment, 'don't tell me you haven't noticed how she's been looking at you, she fancies you rotten mate and as you've no doubt noticed by now, there's not much love between her and His Nibs'.
Caroline was wearing a pale green summer dress covered with tiny white, blue and red flower's. 'What does it make you think of?' Rick asked, so John kept a look out for Caroline with his head filled with the image of a meadow full of flowers
Rick had warned his friend that they might also have to put up with some flirting from female guests and he had not been wrong. It was a warm evening so they had both worn shorts showing long muscular legs which increasingly inebriated ladies wanted to ' have a feel of' often with bottom pinching into the bargain.
When the food was over for the guests Rick put on some meat for himself and John and not having seen Caroline coming for hers earlier put on the same for her.
Rick took their plates and Caroline's towards the house where the table holding the salads etc. was. He sent John to get drinks for the 3 of them. John found Caroline who seemed to have been sent on errands all evening by various guests who seemed under the impression that this was her role in life. She looked weary and utterly depressed.
'Have you eaten yet?' John asked her. Caroline sighed, ' No, I haven't had a chance and my poor stomach thinks my throats been cut'. John put the 3 bottles of beer he was carrying under one arm and offered the other to Caroline.
' Me and Rick had got you something to eat and I've got the drinks'. He smiled at her, looking into her eyes longer than usual as Rick had advised.
'You look really lovely this evening', there he was off the mark and Caroline smiled with flattered amazement. 'Thank you', she said quietly and flushed pink. John continued, beginning to enjoy himself now.
'I like that dress you have on.....it's like a meadow full of flowers',
now was the important moment, ' I'd like to lie in the meadow with you........'.
He couldn't manage any more, he must sound so ridiculous............but Caroline was looking at him, eyes shining and an even pinker blush on her cheeks.
' I've dreamed about a moment like this,' she said softly, ' but this has been even nicer than the dream.
Let's go and eat and later if you still want to come into my meadow I'll leave the gate open. They walked over to where Rick was sitting with their food.
He could see that John had been flirting, good for him, and that he had been accepted.
The 3 of them sat eating and drinking together with the party still going on strong around them.
At 10 O clock Rick gave a yawn ( only slightly exaggerated) ' Time for me to hit the sack', he announced. 'I'll see you love birds in the morning', he grinned at their slightly sheepish, 'caught out' expressions.
Caroline felt suddenly giddy with happiness when only a couple of hours before she'd been near to tears
She had watched Andy all evening. He had been all over Rebecca like a rash, now suddenly it really didn't matter any more.
She took John around to a little old summer house that they had been renovating and he sat down pulling her onto his knee. His body already beginning to react to her closeness.
He guided her face towards his and they began kissing, hands moving over bodies they had dreamed about and ached to hold for weeks, both giving little sighs of great satisfaction.
Caroline's mouth moved to John's ear ' lets go upstairs' she whispered.
Sparthwaite had 10 bedrooms Caroline led John to one on the top floor. ' These would have been servant's quarters', she giggled. ' I reckon we've been shown our places well and truly tonight'.
John shook his head. ' It's a bl**y cheek, you're more ladylike that most of those woman down there put together'.
Any reply from Caroline was silenced by a kiss from John as they started to unfasten each other's clothes.
John hadn't been this close to a woman for 10 years and never to one with Caroline's warmth and tenderness.
He wanted to make love to her so desperately, wanted to feel her body as close as he felt her heart.
The the doubts began to creep up. What if I can't ? What will she think ? I can't bear another failure..................... and sadly the doubts did their dirty work. He felt as though he'd been doused in cold water.
He swore loudly. ' I'm sorry Caroline. I didn't think it would happen with you. It must feel like an insult.................'
Caroline's hand was on his cheek, turning his face towards her. ' The blue eyes looking into his own were filled not with disgust, not even with pity but with desire.
TBC