I COULDN'T FALL asleep, but I stayed in bed for most of the day.
Tori helped me to get into her room, which is the only place she apparently trusted me to be in. Dr. Maxwell came to check on me and tried to force something down my stomach, which she ultimately failed. My sister had to head back downstairs to greet guests who came from afar. She left me alone, though she didn't want to.
I couldn't stop thinking about her words. I know that the current rule of Noatra was full of lies, but I didn't know to what extent. I didn't realise that it went to council members being forced to follow King Pheon's rulings.
The council was sacred. Though the king had the most power, the council had to approve any changes the royal wanted to make to the laws and regulations. It wasn't a full monarchy. I heard from my mother that King Micheal's rule was anything but sweet, and I guess that carried on to Pheon.
Yet, King Pheon never seemed so ruthless. In fact, he was the oddball out of a hundred and eight seven years of rulers before him, ones that have instead ruled Noatra instead of their home of Coronam. I know people had hope for him, but apparently that quickly changed.
This wasn't ideal for me. Not when I might need him to defeat Ansen. I couldn't be fighting a battle on two fronts, and honestly, I don't think Pheon wants to fight me. If I correctly recalled out old conversations, he wanted to help me with whatever I choose to become. Queen or not. He said he wanted to make things different. He wanted to change.
But if he really did, then why wouldn't he tell the citizens of Noatra what was going on? Why wouldn't he admit the wrongs his family did, and hand the kingdom back to our family. There was an uprising eighteen years ago, questioning Pheon's rule. The twenty-year old king could've said his family made a mistake. He could have corrected it.
But then again, Mom was in the picture. Mom, who needed the legend to be true, in that specific way.
People wouldn't have questioned the rule if they didn't know about the kingdoms, so maybe I was wrong about that. Maybe I didn't realise how much of an impact those bedtime stories had on everyone, and not just me. Olivia said they knew a powerful queen would have been born in that month, when I was born. They believed in the legends. They knew what was coming.
People also knew of the alignment of the stars, and apparently that's one of the main reasons why people are coming tonight. What better way to experience Noatra's biggest lightshow than to be in a kingdom where it would happen.
I play with the chain of Noatra's amulet around my neck. I left it in Tori's room, apparently. It didn't go anywhere, which I'm glad. Ansen could've taken it from this room if he really wanted to, and I think I know why he didn't.
Because now I realise the mistake I made.
Noatra's amulet was where it was supposed to be - in Noatra, in the palace. But the other five were out of place. They weren't in their kingdoms, and there would be no way to return them to their homes before midnight tonight. Plus, three weren't in my possession, so I couldn't have gotten Ansen to return them to where they were required... unless he did that himself, and I'm the one screwing tonight up.
I'm overthinking. I'm overthinking. I'm overthinking.
Maybe I was delusional when I heard what Tori said to me. Why would she suddenly bring that up?
There was a knock on the door. My head tilted up, then tilted to the clock on the wall. It was just after lunch, and I'm sure my brother and sister were busy enjoying that with guests. Both of them had their duties as part of this royal system. I wasn't sure if I was supposed to be down there, but I'm glad I'm not.
They knock again. I roll off my bed, grabbing the edge of the bed before I could actually hit the ground. There's still a dull ache running through me, that wasn't common from before. The pain used to pass, now it just lingers.
The door opens and I yelp. Atticus freezes at the door. I throw my hair back, sighing a sigh of relief. "Oh, it's just you."
"You could've just said come in, you didn't have to try to get out of bed." Atticus walks over and helps me back onto it. He kicks off his shoes and lies on the pillow. "Man, Vic's bed is really comfortable. No wonder you trapped yourself in here."
I lie back down, turning myself to face his direction. He turns onto his side, getting a better view of me. And I got a better view of what he was wearing around his neck - the amulet of Auxillium. I reach for it.
"Did we screw up, bringing the three amulets here?" he asked the question that was just on my mind. "Maybe we should've left this one-" he gestured to the one around his neck. "-back at Auxillium, and maybe we could've worked to return the red one to the ruins of Coronam."
I shook my head. "We couldn't have risked it, Ansen would've been after them. I guess we have to risk having them all out of place for tonight. We just have to let the universe decide what to do."
"Not all." He pointed to the one around my neck. "One's better than none, and it's the central power source, isn't it?"
"Kind of, I guess." I studied Att carefully. "So, what are you doing here? Something tells me this wasn't the topic you intended to discuss."
"Look at you, using formal words, practically a queen," he said with a smirk. I smacked him lightly. "But you're right, I needed to talk to you."
"If it's about being queen-"
"Yeah, it is, but I'm here to tell you to forget about it," Atticus said. I give him a weird look. "Just... forget anyone ever brought it up. Like you said, we just have to let the universe decide it's course. There's no point in worrying about something that might not happen the way you think it will."
I drew in deep breath. "Who put you up to this, Att?"
"Me, I put myself up to it," Atticus said. I mean, he sounded convincing. "because you can't shake that out of your head, and you shouldn't be worrying about it. Everyone is just feeding bullshit into your mind."
I stayed quiet for a moment, not sure what to say. And then, I had to ask him about what Tori told me. "Atticus, what is Pheon's rule like? Is he... a good person? Good king?"
"Vera, you don't have to worry-"
"Tori said that he tortured people."
He stayed silent, biting his bottom lip. "He does, Vera. He has hurt quite a number of people, especially in trials, like yours. He's been... gentler, I guess, since you got here. It was the weirdest thing." He paused. "I thought you had a side job of spying on us. I thought you knew what was going on in the kingdom."
I shifted onto my back. I couldn't explain why I was oblivious to this information, and I couldn't blame my family for keeping this from me, could I. "Why? Why would he act different now that I'm here. He's been kind to me. He cleared my name, for god's sake."
"Maybe there's something we're not seeing," Atticus suggested. "Maybe he's hiding something. Maybe he needed to gain your trust. Maybe he knew exactly who you were at the beginning of this, and he was playing dumb."
I closed my eyes. "You know, for someone coming here to tell me to stop worrying, you're making me worry a bit more that what I was." I paused. "Let's just agree to keep our suspicions on him, but don't bring it up. I don't think it would be good to talk about him under his own roof."
"Deal," Atticus said.
I lied there with my eyes closed. Having Atticus next to me was comforting. It was only at the beginning of the month that Atticus was sleeping in my bed in my childhood home. That was the first time we actually had a proper conversation, without anyone there to interrupt, for the most part.
"I had another question, that I was meaning to ask for a while now," I said out of the blue. Atticus turned to face me again, waiting for more detail. "Leo told me that he was able to use magic from before... this. From the night, you, supposedly, captured me and Noatra's greatest criminal finally got onto her knees."
He let out a nervous laugh. "Where do I even start? Wasn't I the one that told you if there was anyone in the kingdom that would be able to control magic, it would be you?" I nodded, recalling the memory. "Leo was terrified at first. He found out that morning, you know, before you broke it. It was this weird coincidence. We were talking about... what was it, if we could be anything in the world? And he just turned into a dog and turned back."
"And he just figured that out and you were the only one that knew, and you took the opportunity to get out of a shift and let a ten year old boy take your spot in your body?" I asked him. I swear to god, Atticus.
"He insisted, I swear Vera. And neither of us at the time knew that the anonymous tell was going to be given."
That makes the three of us.
"After that night, Leo changed back and he tried to shift again, but he couldn't. We thought it was some one time thing," Atticus explained. "Fast forward a couple months... wait, when did he tell you."
"Leo was captured by Ansen Grey twice now, and he got out of there once on his own, thanks to his magic."
Atticus was left speechless. "Crazy," was all that left his mouth. "But... why was he-"
"Leo was the one that helped Ansen Grey find the green amulet, didn't I tell you?" He shook his head. "Oh..." the words caught in my throat. "I guess I forgot to tell you. Leo told me the day before... everything happened. He got captured the night we were in Auxillium, so I guess we both slipped saying something."
"Ugh, I can't wait until our lives are normal again," Atticus groaned. He sits up, running a hand through his already messy hair.
"Don't go," I whined, reaching out for him. He grabs it, and I pull him back down next to me. "You aren't working today, right?"
He shook his head. "I'm all yours if you want me to stay."
I laugh, pulling myself closer to him. His face was so close to mine, our lips could be touching if either of us moved just a bit. But right now, I didn't want to kiss him like last night, and he could tell. Right now I wanted a friend, not a lover.
"What happened to waiting, Vera," he asked.
I closed my eyes. "I just wanted to fall asleep next to you."
"You've been awfully tired. I expected you be asleep when I knocked. Did you even sleep."
I shake my head. "I was too busy thinking."
"You overthink everything."
I let out a weak giggle. "I think we established that."
There's another knock, this time not of the door, since it was already ajar, but on the doorway. I get up, leaning on my arm as I tell whoever it was to come in.
King Pheon and Tori stand on the other side. The king seems a bit surprised by the company I had in the room. "Um, if you aren't busy, Vera, there's someone that needs to talk to you."
"Me?" I questioned. "Who would want to talk to me?"
"Come on," my sister said. "It's urgent. We'll explain while we walk."
✶
SO APPARENTLY, the lunch downstairs wasn't as calm as I thought it would be.
An unexpected guest came stumbling into the palace, and no one was able to stop her from getting it. She was skilled in combat, apparently. She was dirty, dust and mud covering almost every part of her. Her clothes were tattered and she was scared, apparently. But not scared enough to walk in here with a blade between her fists.
She refused to talk to Lysander. In fact, she refused to talk to anyone, even while she was calmed down. The only person she'd talk to was me. She kept repeating my name, but not my name. Vera Covington, because House Carmicheal was not my home, apparently.
The royal couple led me to the guest corridor, where there were more people than usual. Guests were staying the night, I guess. I mean, no, duh if they were staying past midnight. It wouldn't be a bright idea to head back home in the dead of night. A few people give me odd looks, since they probably knew my criminal history. I tried to block them out of my mind.
We go to the end of the corridor, where the door remains slightly ajar. I could hear someone talking inside the room. No - there were two voices, but they were both male.
Pheon knocked lightly, but didn't wait before he walked in. I gave Tori a glace, my face probably reading really? Doesn't he have an ounce of respect? Tori sighed, walking into the room, with me in the rear.
I spotted the woman in the corner of the room, freshly out of the shower with water dripping from her hair. She wore a robe that she pulled tightly around her as she stared out the window of her room.
The male voices apparently came from Lysander, who sat on the other side of the room along with-
"Nolan?" I asked. He looked up. My sister shoots me a glance, asking how I knew this person. "What are you doing here?"
He glanced at the king. "Well, um, Lacey and I were invited to tonight and when, um, our visitor came-" he glanced at the woman in the corner of the room. "-I know who she is and I thought maybe she'd talk."
"And that's what she's going to do," King Pheon said sternly, looking at the woman. "We brought you who you wanted to talk to, now tell us your name and what you intended to do here."
I take a good look at the woman. Olive skin, dark brown hair, green eyes. My heart skipped a beat. I know who she is.
The woman looks away from the window and to the king. "I need you to leave, Your Majesty."
He shook his head. "I'm afraid that isn't going to happen."
"Then I'm not talking," the woman said, turning back to the window.
I turned to the king. "King Pheon, if you really want to get something out of her then you'd leave it to us. There's four others in this room, besides you and her. She wants to talk to me, and she asked that specifically."
He looked unsure in a way, but he didn't argue back. He turned back around, actually listening to me. I could tell why he was hesitating; last time I was interrogating someone, it was his own son, and he couldn't firsthand learn that Leo was kidnapped. But this wasn't personal to him.
I close the door behind the king, turning back around. "Iris, what the fuck."
Nolan's eyes grew wide. "Oh, so you've met before." He pointed to the woman. "I stood here for thirty minutes and you couldn't even tell me after I repeatedly asked why you were looking for her?"
"I'm sorry," Tori cut in. She pointed to me and Nolan. "You two know each other, too?"
"Yeah, I delivered his baby-"
"It's kind of a long story, Ria-"
Tori looked shocked, not believing anything that's going into her ears. I could almost hear her thoughts; you delivered a fucking baby? I'm not entirely sure why she's so surprised, and how she knew Nolan Atwood, but I'm sure that was a story for another time.
She rolled her eyes, knowing this was too much for her to handle. She walked over to Lysander and sat on the arm of his chair.
I turned to the woman. "What are you doing here?" She finally gets up from where she's seated and walks over to the the vanity. I notice now that she wasn't stripped of her belongings and the blade - or blades were on the counter.
She picks them up carefully. "I think these belong to you, Vera." She takes my hand and makes me open my palm, sticking the knives into my hand. She even takes the time to wrap my fingers around them, making sure I have them in my grip.
Four identical throwing knives, not a trace of blood on them. Not anymore.
"I just came here to return what belongs to you."
I stared at the weapons in my hands. There was a reason why I left them in the body. There was a reason why I didn't want to see then again.
But I don't bring the night up. Not yet. I know she's going to bring it up soon, anyway.
"I told you to run," I told the woman. I was talking to her as if she was my age. I was talking to her as if I had some sort of authority towards her. But that wasn't the case here.
Her voice was barely a whisper. It was shaking. "I did, Vera. I listened to you, and thank god I did. I ran before he got to me." She paused. "I owe you one, honestly."
"Okay, back up," Lysander interrupted. He looked to Iris. "Why are you giving my sister throwing knives and where did you get them in the first place? Why do you owe Vera a favour? Can we go back to what Nolan said about you two knowing each other? And who is this he you speak of?"
Iris looks to me. "Your brother doesn't like to waste time, I guess." She leaned against the vanity. "Do you want to explain, or should I?"
I looked at the knives in my hand. Oh gosh, I really had to talk about another one of my missions. "Um, okay, I'll talk." I paused, collecting my thoughts. "Last night I dreamed of something that happened four years ago. Something I did. And that was-" I shifted my weight between my two feet. "-I was the one that murdered the Everdeen family in Roselake four years ago."
Nolan pointed to Iris. "And you knew your family's killer, but you didn't bring this up to the authorities. Actually, you just ran? Iris, you're like my little sister. I worried about you."
"You knew I wasn't dead!" Iris said, using the excuse I always did. "You didn't have to worry about me, and it was better for me to leave home. Or else-" Iris looked to me. "-Ansen fucking Alderidge was coming after me, too."
My lip curled into a small smile. "You found out he was related to the king?"
"I did my research, Vera."
"Okay, hold up," Victoria said. "Ansen Grey wanted both of you, and you ran from him. How did you know that he was coming for you?"
"I told her," I explained. "When I was ordered to kill Iris' family, I was told to either bring the amulet or bring her back with me. Ansen wanted to get his hands on her. I was able to leave our hiding spot on my own the day Iris came back from her trip and warn her that he was coming for her."
"I took her advice," Iris said. "I didn't want to trust the murderer of my family, but I had to in the moment."
"Yeah, so why are you here?" I turned to Iris again, wanting answers from her. "You were supposed to leave the kingdom again. I told you that if you come back, he's gonna find you again."
"You left and he didn't find you," she countered.
"Yes, he did. He knows perfectly where I am. He was the one that wanted to get rid of me-"
"And how are you sure that he's still searching for me if he got rid of you?"
I... did not have an answer for that. He wanted both of us, last time I checked. He let Iris go, realising Iris was too good at hiding. The environment was her friend - it would protect her. He had almost no chance if she was in the woods.
"Why are you here, Iris? You didn't just come here to hand me the weapons I killed your family with."
"I told you once four years ago and I will tell you again," Iris said slowly, pronouncing every word. "This is not your battle to fight alone."
Lysander pipes up again. "Can I ask another question?" He doesn't wait for a response. "Why does - did - Ansen Grey want you, and the two of you specifically? What about Atticus or Nolan or Lorcan or, hell, what about his own brother?"
Iris turns to my brother. "The difference between the two of us and the four of them... don't you see it, Captain? Don't you see that some of us are quote-unquote unqualified to rule and kingdom are easier to manipulate, if they're in power?"
I stopped her there. The fear rose in my chest. "Iris... how much do you know? How much did you figure out?"
She can read the expression on my face. "Coronam wasn't the only kingdom with good spies, Vera. Sylvaine knew a thing or two, too."
I closed my eyes, then turned to my siblings. "Okay, what are you going to do with her? She didn't mean any harm, and I don't think she's going to leave on her own anytime soon, so what happens now?"
"You know," Nolan started. "Your conversation was incredibly hard to follow." Lys and Tori nodded in agreement.
Tori stood up. "I suppose you could stay for the celebrations tonight." Her eyes glanced to me. "If Vera trusts having you here, and it seems like you've been through quite a lot these last couple years, you're welcome to join us."
"Thank you, Your Highness," Iris says. "I appreciate your hospitality."
Tori smiles and nods. She begins to head out, but stops before opening the door. "There's a reason why you didn't want Pheon in here, and I assume that whatever happened in here - that I still don't quite understand - is not supposed to be heard by him, right?"
Iris bit her lip. Instead of answering my sister, she turns to me. "You don't trust him, right? No offence, Your Highness, but... you know he doesn't trust you, right Vera?"
My voice grows quiet. "I think I realise that now."
"Noted," Tori says, before heading out the door.
Lysander gets up too, grabbing his crutches. "That's been one of the weirder interrogations I've been apart of," he says with a small laugh to relieve the stress in the room. "Vera, if you need anything-"
"I'll find you or Tori, I know," I finish his sentence. He gives a small smile and plants a kiss on my forehead.
That leaves Nolan, Iris and me in the room. I look back down at the knives in my hand. I don't want them, but I'm sure Iris didn't need the reminder. I know she pulled each of them out of her family members' hearts before the police found their bodies. It took a couple days before the police were involved, with no one aware of the attack in the house. I found her before she made it to her home. I told her everything. She could've turned me in. In fact, I gave her the suggestion to do so. I begged her, if she wasn't going to run. But she didn't. She chose the latter.
I begin to head out before Nolan stops me. "Hey Vera, try some ginger tea, it'll probably help with the muscle pains."
I look back to him. "Is my pain that obvious?"
Iris nodded. "Some turmeric can help with the heart burn. I'm sure Nolan would do his best to help you, but magic is weak right now."
I nodded. "Thank you." I barely knew these people - I had one encounter with them each - but they were still helping me.
Before I head out, Iris stops me again. "Vera..."
I'm starting to get slightly annoyed. "Yeah?"
"You have to tell them sooner or later," she said. I could see the confused expression on Nolan's face.
I gulped. "I know." And I finally close the door to that room again.