Carter
31.
The rumors that were surfacing about my bandaged head and hands were whispered about through the work day, and I could feel the questioning stares. Assuming. With each person that dared to open their mouth, I held my breath and glared.
At first, I could ignore all the whispers as I usually did, but when they uttered Hazel's name and accused her of being so stupid for staying, I had to bite my tongue to keep from doing something I'd regret.
Maybe she finally stood up for herself. Good for her, one said, and the words made my stomach churn. They played over and over in my mind.
She chooses to stay! I wanted to shouted.
I didn't know how much was actually true, but Hazel chose to stay because she liked her job. And by staying, she was slowly tearing me apart one piece at a time. The longer she stayed, the closer she was getting to me. And I was terrified.
There was no doubt that the others were beginning to notice our closeness—I surely felt it—and I was letting myself get sucked in.
My employees could believe what they wanted, but one thing that I couldn't deny was that I liked the idea of being close to Hazel. And as frightened as I was, I didn't want to stay away. For once, I wanted the rumors to be true.
I wondered what Hazel thought of them.
But then I remembered that I was supposed to be angry. After what happened this morning, I was so careless to let her see me. To ask those questions.
There was no doubt in my mind that she was curious, but even more, I was terrified that I would let her in too far.
If I let Hazel get too close, she would find out all of the things that I vowed never to tell anyone. If she did, she would never look at me the same. And I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if I lost Hazel.
Suddenly, a few quiet, resounding knocks came to my door, startling me from my wandering mind. They were coming from Hazel's office. I felt my heart leap inside my chest and sat up in my chair. Smoothing down my dress shirt, I took a deep breath and let my assistant make her appearance.
She ducked inside my office, and immediately, any of the anger I felt, disappeared. I could see the hesitancy in her eyes when she looked at me, no doubt wondering how I was going to react. Was she thinking about the same thing that I was?
I couldn't help but to look Hazel over. She looked exceptionally good today with a green-satin dress and dark orange sweater pulled over top. Hazel's usually thick, wavy hair was pulled into a braided bun with a few loose strands that framed her face and neck.
When I glanced back up at Hazel, I had to force the bite into my voice to hide my racing heart and said,
"What is it?"
"Mr. Wright, I was wondering if you needed someone to take Mr. Carwile's place on your trip. Since it's coming up and he has other plans..."
Seeing my narrowed eyes, Hazel's voice trailed off, and fell to the carpeted floor.
"Never mind," she said. There was a hint of annoyance in her tone, as if she knew how I was going to answer. "Just forget I said anything."
Without saying anything, I let Hazel return back to her office, but only a few moments passed before she appeared once again.
I went to speak, to apologize, anything I could say to reverse this situation to make the guilt I felt a little bit lighter, but Hazel was quicker.
"Don't forget about your meeting."
In the large conference room, I couldn't take my gaze away from Hazel. Even though everyone else's voices were swimming in my head, I couldn't stop replaying our conversation from ten minutes ago. Hardly a conversation, a voice in my head reminded me.
I should have said something, but Eddie was safe. He left me alone and kept to himself. He was predictable.
And so was everyone else. They all knew to stay as far away from me as they could.
Except Hazel. She was the only one who treated me differently, looked at me differently, and I couldn't make up my mind about her. Keeping her at arms length was safe, but there were moments that I found myself pushing the limit just because I couldn't keep myself from wondering about her.
Maybe one trip together wouldn't hurt...
But then the fear would set in and remind me of all of the what ifs.
What if she discovers the side of me I don't even want to uncover myself? What if I end up pushing her too far and she finally leaves?
I let Hazel take care of me. She saw my hands, and she was still here. Maybe I didn't need to tell her anything at all.
As more people began to fill up the room, I noticed both Joy and Sam take up the seats on either side of Hazel. She smiled in their direction and laughed at whatever Sam had said.
Joy noticed me staring, making me jump and look away quickly. I could hear her voice and laughter that followed, and shrunk in my seat with embarrassment.
Glancing up again, I noticed Hazel's stare was pinned on me. On either side of her, Sam and Joy fell into some kind of heated discussion, and every few seconds they'd look up at me.
Joy nudged Hazel, who shrugged her shoulders. I couldn't read her lips, but the expression on her face told me she wanted no part of the conversation.
Quickly, I averted my stare and willed my racing heart to slow. Could Hazel see right through me? How much it bothered me to sit and watch them talk as if I wasn't even there?
Was Hazel actually believing what those two women were saying? Whatever it was.
Somehow, that question bothered me the most. And when the meeting finally began, the feeling never left.
I barely heard a word the company's marketing manager spoke, and took an interest in the polished, wooden table.
Risking a glance in my assistant's direction, I watched as her pen flew across her notepad that were her signature messy scribbles that, for the life of me, I could never read. She was a distraction from my own mind, and if I kept my eyes on her long enough, I was sure I could sit through this damn meeting.
I waited for Hazel outside of the conference room. I thought maybe I could catch her and tell her to come with me on my trip. It would be just for business, just like every other. Hazel was no different.
At least, that was what I kept telling myself.
"Carter Wright?"
I thought I would be safe when I made it out into the hallway, but felt my shoulders sag with the voice that came calling after me. I hated that name.
Maybe I'd wait to talk to Hazel.
"Hey, Carter, wait! Wait a second!" Muffled heels thudded behind me, a hand on my arm that made me flinch and whip around to face a smiling Joy, but it almost faltered when she saw my face.
I prayed that it was enough for her not to notice. "Don't you dare touch me."
"Geez okay." As Joy said this, her eyes still light and gleaming, she began to rub her hands together almost nervously. Good.
"But you let Hazel do it," She added. "What's the difference?"
"There is no difference." I said.
Joy furrowed her eyebrows in thought, but the look quickly turned into another widening smile as she took a step closer to me. "So why else would Hazel still be here? Surely something has changed."
"Did she beat some sense into you?" Joy added questioningly.
"Finally." Another voice piped in. It was Sam.
My stomach sunk even lower as I glanced warily between the two women. It felt like I couldn't breathe.
"I said nothing has changed."
"Remember that one assistant you had? I was just telling Hazel before the meeting—she hit you and you threatened her family.
"I'm surprised you let Hazel off the hook so easily. What's the catch, Mr. Wright?" Sam continued, her eyes searching my face.
"Mr. Wright wouldn't hurt me."
Relief filled me when Hazel's voice flooded from the meeting room, the two girls turning so that they could stare at her.
"How do you know that?" Joy's brows furrowed.
"Why does everyone keep asking me the same questions? Because I've spent the last two, almost three months with him. Don't you think I would've been gone by now?"
Hazel shook her head and watched me through hardened eyes. And somehow, I knew the look wasn't directed at me.
I kept my own gaze hard to hide the warmth that seeped through my skin, and with Joy's look of sudden glee, the feeling disappeared entirely.
"Does this mean you're finally on the market?" She came close to me, reaching out her hand again that made my stomach roll and my breath hitch. "If you are, I would so date you."
I took a step back when Joy's fingers touched my arm, my heart in my throat. She tried to repeat the gesture, but again, I dodged her.
"Joy, stop."
I barely heard Hazel's voice over the images that flashed through my mind. With Joy's touch, they burned inside of me as a reminder and made me freeze in my tracks.
"You're only going to make this worse if you don't stop moving, Carter." His voice taunted me, daring me to flinch away.
Even with my stare trained to the ground, I could picture dark, angry eyes, an amused grin as he moved toward me again. I was trembling like a baby with each step taken toward me, and jumped when a sweaty palm latched around my wrist.
His laughter rang in my ears, but not as loud as the warning not to move, and I stood frozen in place. Holding my breath.
Without warning, he shoved me hard, and I bit my tongue hard to hide the surprised gasp as I flew backwards. The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth.
Please get away from me, my mind pleaded over and over.
Still, the looming shadow peered over me, and I braced myself for another blow.
"Mr. Wright?"
I felt a hand take hold of my wrist, the soft trail of fingers that made me jump and harshly grab hold of their own wrist, wrenching it away.
"Get away from me." I finally found the courage to speak. To stand up to myself.
I waited for the retaliation of anger, for pain, laughter, something, but I felt nothing. Instead, it was the audible gasp of pain that reeled me back to Hazel and Sam and Joy.
Not the one person I was imagining.
The embarrassment and shame I felt was like a hard punch to the gut and it only came back to strike again when I met Hazel's worry and surprise-filled expression.
When I glanced around at the other two girls, their wide-eyed stares watched me, questioning and wary. I couldn't breath.
It was then that I realized my grip was still latched onto Hazel's arm, knuckles white from how hard I was clenching. As if burned, I pulled away with a sharp, intake of breath and backed away.
Immediately, I noticed the blood streaked on Hazel's sweater.
"I'm so sorry." I said softly as fear suddenly overtook any of my other senses. I didn't dare spare a look at my palms.
"I'm so sorry, Hazel." I repeated again, practically mumbling as I held her stare.
I turned on my heel without a second glance, running toward the first bathroom I could find and locked myself inside.
• • •
Question: does Mr. Wright have a NY accent?