Maggie’s heart throbbed against her futile ribs as the girl tried to cool herself down, clutching the door knob of her own room, but terrified as if the world beyond was completely anonymous to her.
And in a way, it was so.
Now.
Now that she had shouted all those things at Eden.
She was so sorry.
God knew what came over her and she…..
The sudden whistle of crickets in the stillness of dark, gloomy night made her jerk out of her reverence and Maggie twisted the doorknob, entering the room swiftly. Softly.
Eden was asleep upon her cot, curled in a ball. She was facing away from the entrance, she was facing the wall.
The lamp on the bedside table was still alight.
Cold moonlight discarded a silver shadow on the floor through the opposite window and breezy curtains shivered randomly.
It was fifteen minutes past ten.
Only a few people were awake around the manor.
Maggie slipped into her bed, the chill of the bed sheets giving her a strange sense of forlornness, now that Eden wouldn’t talk to her.
Forsaken, she plopped her head on the pillow and words came back to her.
Mr. Penfield’s word.
He had said that though Eden was indeed crude in her conduct and harsh in her discourse, she had said not a word unjustified. Not a word untrue.
He said that Eden was a very sophisticated woman with a responsible and even strong moral and all she said was for Margaret’s own good.
And Maggie knew that it was so. Even before his saying it.
The only difference was that, unlike Eden had said, Maggie was not living in fantasies. Her dreams were not childish, they were all well contemplated, however much nonsensical they might sound to other ears. Perhaps Eden had seen too much hardship in her life to be so pragmatic. Perhaps, Eden was just afraid of great expectations.
But Maggie wasn’t.
Maggie was a dreamer.
A believer.
And she knew, Margaret knew, that when you wish for something with tough longing, the whole universe carves a lane for you to reach out and hold what you desire, what you reserve. Deserve.
But still, that didn’t comfort her right now; these thoughts. She felt so unsatisfied with the day, she sat up restlessly.
A piquant glance at Eden’s side of the room told her that Eden was deeply asleep, and had never changed her position.
She slipped out of her bed and walked around to Eden’s bed. Slowly, mounting up, she laid herself down by the sleeping figure and meticulously pulled over the blanket on them both.
Yes.
This was far better.
She closed her eyes and sighed in satisfaction, now really set to sleep when she felt shifting at her side. Afraid that Eden might leave the bed if she realized that she was by her, Maggie held her breathe, dreading each moment of the disturbance.
But soon enough, her fear, her dread settled into nothingness when she felt Eden laying a hand on her belly and placing her head near her shoulder, cuddling into her.
“Good night Magpie.”
That sweet whisper floated in the darkness, lit like a firefly and suddenly, Maggie was so very, very much satisfied.
Sleep couldn’t have been more beautiful thereafter.
***
Her soft purple silk gown flapped endlessly against the flares as Lady Christiana Ivy walked briskly across the corridor.
It was so early in the morning that servants were still dusting the frames and curtains down her way as she ran past them, her soft features betraying all the tumult of emotions that her heart underwent in this while.
He was leaving.
Andreas Edwin was leaving Ashleyton in a few hours, this very morning and he didn’t even care to inform her.
She felt so deceived, so left-out from his beautiful world. All this while, three years for that matter, she had but loved him with her heart and soul and he…..what had he done? Not even allowed her his friendship. His affections that she so treasured was never hers.
There was always a someone else for him.
When at last she was at his door, tears filled her eyes and a strong temptation to let them flow flooded her heart. But she held back. And she held back hard, determined to let him know the height of her love and to gain the depth of his.
She knocked and was let in by a footman, who left as soon as she entered.
In the longue, it was quiet.
So Ivy took the liberty to walk to the bedroom door and slide it open.
And there he was.
Near his table, reading a piece of parchment, while everything from the wardrobe was laid out on the bed, to be folded and packed.
He didn’t realize her arrival. He was too absorbed and Ivy took these few moments to study him.
He had placed the parchment back on the desk and was reaching for the next paper, when his hand paused in the mid air and hovered over it absentmindedly and fell back on his side. His ready to grasp fingers curled into a fist as he leaned forward and sighed wearily.
Is he tired?
That thought brought out an overwhelming amount of compassion towards him in her heart and Ivy cleared her throat subtly.
He glanced toward her. “Ivy.”
“Edwin.”
He turned away from the desk and moved closer to her. “Is something a matter? You are here so early.”
She didn’t smile though she should have, out of politeness. “You never told me you were leaving so soon.”
“Oh!” He breathed, with a small chuckle. “Was it even a fact worth telling?”
He was still not dressed, she observed. His waistcoat and jacket were lying on the bed. His suspender hung around his waist and his bowtie was undone.
“Edwin,” Reluctantly, she moved further into the room. “Are you tired? You do not really need to leave today. You look…”
“I am fine.” He snapped and then, softened. “Please, I am…..I do not need your chastisement right now.”
“My chastisement?” She repeated gravely. “My chastis…oh, truly! You never do, do you? You never have anything to do with whatever that relates me. You are just too otherwise engaged.”
“Lady Ivy.” He frowned at her. “I am lost.”
“Why Mr. Edwin, aren’t you always?” She smiled sadly, letting him walk away as he did. “You have turned too blind toward me. You do not see. You never see.”
“Please, miss.” He growled. “I do not know what you are coming at but have a care.”
“No, I won’t.” She cried. “I can’t, Mr. Edwin. Not anymore. I have my limits and you know that this is my limit.”
Another weary sigh fell free of his lips as he shook his head and turned away, completely disregarding her. “Leave Ivy! I have already been tired enough lately. I cannot stand a day more in Hertfordshire.”
Then it suddenly stuck to her. “Have you…..have you talked to that girl? Eden Henley?”
At her name, he flinched slightly, but neither turned back nor did he utter a word. However, this much was enough for Ivy. She had known him long enough to know his yes and his no.
“Did she reject you?” she mumbled, her lashes stuttering.
“That’s not your business.” He sneered lethally.
“Edwin,” Ivy moved toward him, pained on his behalf. “I am so sorry. I_”
“Will you just stop, please!” He roared. “Do not forget where you stand.”
It didn’t do. Instead of intimidating her, his words made her love him all the more and she fiercely walked up to him.
“Edwin please!” She cried, not tending to stop her tears from spilling out. “Why do you hate me? Why? I love you. Don’t you see? Don’t you realize? Am I so bad Edwin that you couldn’t love me all this while even as a friend while I have rejected men after men, just in hope that someday, you would see me affectionately.”
The shock on the gentleman’s face at this revelation was extravagantly apparent. And though he had no words to spare, he was gaping astoundedly at the confessor, half in disbelief and half in alarm.
“I love_” The lady had started again but he quickly placed his hand on her mouth in fear that someone out might pick her words up and her reputation would be ruined beyond redemption.
He guarded her deeper into the room, farther from the doors, while her tears drenched his hand.
“What are you saying?” He hissed, removing his hand from her face, once he had ensured himself of privacy. “Have you lost your mind Ivy?”
“I have. Since the first time I met you, Edwin. And you! What have you done? Your affections were never fated mine. You loved servants over me.”
Now that those words were out, Ivy realized that she had never meant it the way it sounded. By servants, she didn’t mean to condescend his demised wife or Eden. By servants, she had only meant what they all thought and believed, what was apparent. But that’s how it had came.
And she knew, by the expressions of his eyes, that she had offended him in the worst way possible.
“I_ I am sorry, Edwin.” She stammered, shaking her head to clear the air. “I respected Beatriz and I know_ I know Eden is a wonderful girl but_”
“Silence.” He growled, so abruptly that Ivy backed away from him, chill creeping up her back. “Now that Beatriz is no more, I hope you are satisfied. I do not think of you as a friend but here, don’t make me forget that you are a woman. Get yourself out of my sight this very moment. I fear I would say something very untoward if you stay.”
“Edwin, I_”
“Out.” He barked. “Get out I said.”
Clapping her palm to her lips, Ivy ran out of his bedroom and eventually the longue, leaving behind her all the hopes, to ever belong to him.
***
Lord Adelwood had just finished working on his letter to the magistrate when he heard a loud banging on his study door.
He was befuddled by such energy this early in the morning but he called out nonetheless.
“Yes.” He conferred and the door was thrown open, on the other side being his most darling friend, Christiana, all in tears and so miserable.
“Ivy!” He left his chair abruptly, in surprise, making the furniture back with a screech as Ivy entered the room, the door flying shut behind her.
By the time he was around the table, the lady had ran up to him, with her hands around him and face buried into his neck as his collared soaked away her tears.
“Ivy? What is it?” He held her, smoothly walking her to the chair so that he could place her down.
“Oh, Stephen!” She cried between her sobs. “He won’t have me. I knew it. I always did. He won’t_. Didn’t I always tell you Stephen? Didn’t I_”
Choking into her tears, she fell back into his embrace and Lord Stephen knew who it was, about him these tears bellowed.
“Edwin?” He inquired softly, running his fingers through her golden locks.
“Yes.” She groaned, breaking down into sobs and snuggling all the more into him.
And here, this was the point of events, where Lord Adelwood found himself extremely helpless. He couldn’t blame Ivy for loving Edwin and he couldn’t blame Edwin for not loving Ivy.
He simply held his breath and allowed his beloved friend to weep onto him.
His shoulders, afterall had witnessed more of her tears and her pain that this world would ever know.
And anyway, it was all just the beginning.