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. . . I'm not surprised, I sympathise, I can't deny your appetite. . .
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CHAPTER 16
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Just like nothing had happened less than seven hours before, I had to get up and go to the hell hole called school. What's worse I really wasn't sure how to act towards Renjun and Jeno too after finding out they knew about me and the gang. I didn't have any help from Haechan either since he stayed in Japan for a few more days.
The classroom was full with chatter just like always when I entered. People didn't care if anyone's sleepy and too tired to listen to their bullshit. When I entered I didn't even glance if Jeno and Renjun had arrived, Jaemin hadn't I knew, he was always late. Maybe it was a dumb decision to run away from your problems, but I wasn't in a mood to act like nothing had happened and talk cheerfully, ignoring the fact that they might as well threaten me with something like Jaemin did.
I walked to the other end of the classroom where a group of girls were gathered up. I rarely hanged out with them, but I needed someone else's company and they seemed to be my way out. I neared the ravenette girl which I knew was sitting alone during the classes although at the moment she was surrounded by few more girls.
"Can I sit here, Yeji? I'm kind of not in the mood to hang out with boys today." I asked, but sat down on the chair next to her before I got an answer. The black hood was still on my head I never removed it since I put the hoodie on and I didn't plan to remove it either until the teacher tells me.
"Sure, Soji. I sit alone anyway." Yeji smiled widely and I sighed mouthing a low "Thanks..." immediately joining the girls' conversation, just so I don't think of the fact that I couldn't ignore the boys for long. If not Jeno and Renjun, I knew once Jaemin comes to school I wouldn't be able to run away from him, so I tried to mentally prepare for a talk with him until he came.
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For my surprise once Jaemin came to school he didn't come to talk to me right away. Maybe because I wasn't alone, but why would he care? He knew that I wouldn't let him join the gang, why hadn't he still exposed me to everyone?
I pushed the thoughts aside, walking to my locker after spending the break with girl company for a day instead of Jisung, Chenle, Jaemin, Jeno and Renjun. Taking a break from boys was even more peaceful and enjoyable than I thought it would be. For a while I didn't have Jisung teasing me, Chenle laughing at me, Jaemin flirting with me or either threatening me or trying to rape me, and for Renjun and Jeno I didn't have a reason not to like them around except that they now knew everything Jaemin knew.
I opened my locker to take the books I would need for the next few classes, the maths book, literature and history- nothing I actually loved. But the books weren't important when something else in my locker caught my eye. Two papers folded into cute little letters with pink ribbon tied around them, a single tiny heart sticker in the middle of each which made them look even cuter.
I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. I knew there were always people liking me and having crush on me, but until now no one had ever been so creative with the letters. I guessed this one had a special crush on me and I chuckled at the thought, unfolding the first letter.
The insides of it were quite simple though, it was handwritten like most of the letters I've received before, but the handwriting seemed like it belonged to someone mature, rarely boys had beautiful handwritings in the recent generations, this one seemed to be one of those rare ones.
"There isn't a word in any dictionary to describe how beautiful you are...
-your one and only secret admirer..."
I raised an eyebrow. My secret admirer? It sounded cute, seemed like someone was too shy to give themselves up and I couldn't lie having someone complimenting me merely through a letter brought a smile to my face. It was refreshing and it gave me some confidence and made my day, especially since it took my mind off of everyday problems for a short while.
I giggled lowly. I didn't like men- true; in fact, I hated men, but I couldn't hate shy cute guys that hid from me and yet managed to make my day. Romantic guys like those did have my respect. I always imagined them being nerds that haven't dated much, but nowadays even nerds were cute and handsome although they never caught my attention.
As girly as it sounds, I couldn't help but already start imagining the guy secretly sending me those two letters. Maybe it was someone slender, tall and handsome, with sun-kissed skin, dark eyes and soft black hair. Someone beautiful in his own way, but too shy to share his handsomeness with the world. My mind might have gone too far with expectations.
I shook my head, rolling my eyes with my huge fantasies and I folded back the letter and put it in the pocket of my black oversized hoodie before I opened the next one, once again struggling because of the too long sleeves.
"I fell for your green eyes to my knees
And all I think about now is a kiss from your lips..."
-your secret admirer..."
I let out a soft laughter, trying to keep it low so I would be the only one to hear it. Cheesy, but cute nevertheless. It did pick my curiosity. I was already dying to find out who that was and if he would continue sending the letters I knew I would wait for them with opened arms, just to read whatever that guy had in his mind about me.
Having my mind too occupied with the letters I didn't notice that the hallway was getting emptied. Everyone were rushing to their next classes and I still hadn't packed the books I needed. I put the latter down in my pocket just like the other and took out some books from the locker, heading towards the classroom, just to be stopped midway.
I let out a short scream when my arm got pulled inside the emptied male restrooms, my heart shook in shock and my eyes widened before I could take control over them, staring at the person holding me captive against the now closed door of the room, his hand on my mouth and the other one holding his index finger against his lips mouthing a low "Shhh..." before he put his both arms down and I was free to breathe normally again.
Once again I was trapped in small space between a door and a man and I did my all to keep calm although the air seemed suffocating already. I pushed him a little bit away, leaving the books on the counter next to me before standing tall in front off him with confident yet expressionless look. "What do you want now?"
Jaemin sighed, leaning himself on his spread arm upwards on the wall behind me, his other hand resting on his hip as he opened his eyes to look at mine. "I think I gave you enough time to stop ignoring me, love. Now tell me what should I do to bring old flirty Soji back?"
I took a shallow breath before I spoke up, eyes locked with his while my back was tightly pressed on the door behind me "First- I am not ignoring you; second- old flirty Soji is gone for good, so stop trying; and third and last- you seriously pulled me in the men's restroom?!" I whisper-yelled the last part, eyebrows furrowed in a questioning and unbelievable manner.
"That's really not important right now." He shook his head slowly, his voice low, steady and peaceful, it sounded like calming music to my ears. For a second I forgot how to breathe while I was staring with gaping mouth at his light yet deep blue eyes. But he had to bring me back to reality the moment he pushed my hair away from my neck right where he had left the few hickeys two days ago. They were still visible, but not under the 10 pounds of concealer I had put on and my hair that rested on my skin.
His warm hand gave me goosebumps as he touched the covered skin ever so gently, I almost forgot about the Jaemin that forcefully kissed and bit me against the wall in the hotel hallway in Tokyo. In less than a second my heart thundered and I tried hard not to think of it. I wasn't supposed to react like that to his touch, at least not after that. He didn't have to wait even a minute longer to fill me with lust and want for him again. Even after the night in Japan, after he almost raped me, I still wanted more of him. This wasn't supposed to happen at all.
Once again I struggled to keep myself under control. He was supposed to be wrapped around my finger. I was supposed to play him, why was it so easy for him to make me totally forget I ever tried to ignore him? He made me forget about everything the second I locked eyes with him, even the threat he was to me and the gang, everything...
"I told you I'm sorry... forgive me already please. I miss flirty Soji, bring her back for me, love..." His hand rose up to my cheek cupping it with a feather-like touch that gave me goosebumps once again down my whole body like electricity awakening all of my senses.
My eyes stopped on his lips, accidently for real, and once again I realised I was addicted to him, his touch, his lips, all of him. I gulped, swallowing hard while I tried to stop myself from doing what I knew I'd regret later, but it was all useless. One way or another my hand made it's way up his chest, neck, jaw, cupping his cheek while his slid down my body resting at the small of my back around my waist.
"I told you whatever... it doesn't matter." I mouthed so softly as my thumb gently caressed his lower lip, my eyes flickered from his lips up to his eyes and back to his lips like I was enchanted by them, they were magically pulling me to them, but I didn't go for a kiss. Instead I leaned closer to him, enough so I could feel his breath slowly fanning my face. "You're forgiven..." I almost whispered while I stared at his eyes that were slowly darkening, gaze becoming heavier and darker on me as my finger traced a line down his lips all the way to his abdomen and I smirked when I reached for his belt, but didn't go further.
Jaemin's hand reached for mine, pulling me closer to him and making me gasp when my body collided with his. "I want to kiss you so bad right now, Kim Soji. You can't imagine." He whispered so lowly, his voice silent, but smoky and seductive while he was staring at me seriously and I smirked once again as I pushed myself on my toes until my lips were merely inches away from his.
"Then kiss me..." I mumbled and there was no time wasted until Jaemin's lips attacked mine hungrily.
I was in lack of air for a long time, but that didn't bother me at all. My mind was too busy creating scenarios of what I wanted to do to him, only if we weren't in the school's male restrooms. My hands travelled up his body until I wrapped my arms around his neck, burying my palms in his soft messy walnut hair.
I felt like I was flying and it became real once he picked me up from the floor, arms wrapped tightly around my waist while my legs were hugging his abdomen. In a few seconds I found myself seated on the counter next to the sink with him between my legs, touching everywhere his hands could reach while my lips already made their way down to his neck and collarbone giving my payback and sucking hard on his skin while my desire rose with every moan of his in my ear.
My body was on fire. I felt hotness overwhelming me and the fact that we were in a school building didn't even matter anymore, I was ready to strip and let him do whatever he'd want to me. My heart had never beat like that before, he was responsible for every single fastened and louder heartbeat and every skipped beat and it was all driving me crazy. I wasn't sure if I was able to stop until I actually forced myself to do that and look at him after the wild breathless kiss that left us both panting for air with foreheads leaned against each other's yarning for more.
"Soji..." His voice sent shivers down my spine, so low and raspy and a turn on. But what he said next shut down every ember of fire that was burning inside of me leaving me glaring at him for the rest of the time. "Let me in the gang..."
I let out a sigh, frustrated one, heavy and long. So he tried to manipulate me just to get what he wants. It send me nuts with anger, I was the one that was supposed to manipulate, hurt and leave, why was it with him the other way around? Everytime I fell for his spell and I hated that.
My hand rested on his cheek once again, my thumb caressing it tenderly and I showed him a forced fake smile as my eyes locked with his. "Forget that this encounter happened, sweetie. Not happening." I let out the words rather sternly unlike the forced soft smile that rested on my lips.
I pushed him away from me, jumping off of the counter and heading to the door, opening it harshly just to bump into a light red haired guy. I remembered I saw for the first time that morning in our class. I supposed he was new and came while we were in Tokyo.
The guy stared at me with wide eyes and I furrowed my eyebrows and tilted my head to the side in confusion with his reaction. But I shouldn't have been surprised. I looked at the sign for a male restrooms on the door behind me and turned back to the frozen guy mirroring his reaction for a second whilst feeling awkward, but probably not as much as him. "U-uhh... I was umm..." I blinked trying to express myself, why and how I ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, but I couldn't come up with a story believable enough, so I decided to leave it to his imagination whatever it was. "You know what? It doesn't matter."
The guy cleared his throat and stepped aside for me to step out of the men zone, while Jaemin was still behind me following every move I'd make. "Yeah... it happens." The new guy smiled sweetly, but looked awkward still and I wasn't sure how to make up the situation. I didn't care about people's opinion and my relationship with them but I though I shouldn't stay awkward with a classmate and smiled as I reached out my hand.
"I'm Soji. You are the new guy in my class right? We didn't really get the chance to get to know each other."
The boy smiled accepting my handshake. "Call me Sunwoo."
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To be continued. . .