YH- 7 (THE PAST PART 2)
To give a recap on what happened, it was the night after my brother's birthday party when I went to Cole's room to surprise and seduce him. Regrettably, he did that to me instead. Except of course, the seduce part. I caught him in the bed screwing Helen, my brother's girlfriend. They just finished doing 'it' and as of the moment, the lusty witch lay on the floor and the man I love is still on his back catching his breath. As for me, the foolish sixteen year old girl who fell for this loathsome guy, I stand there at the foot of the bed with his semen glued in my arm.
I dominated his view with my lanky frame, hands tightly fisted on my sides. I wrinkled my nose at the filthy odor of sex around me. To Cole, this stance must look very forbidding, but he didn't know that inside I was trembling. My whole body was shaking with fear, with anxiety, with anger, with frustration. I was nearing the edge of my sanity. My mind was overflowing with murderous thoughts of betrayal and disappointment. It is indeed true that it tends to be more painful when you get hurt by the one person you never expected to cause you pain. My heart was shattered and my soul was in shreds with what I just witnessed. At that very moment, I couldn't find my voice, I couldn't even look at him anymore. I lowered my head and drew holes at the floor.
I heard him scramble off the bed. His every action was followed by vicious oaths and curses. The word 'fuck' doesn't sound sexy from his mouth anymore. His voice changed from husky to cold. He snapped orders for Helen to dress which the sneaky bitch did hastily as if the hounds of hell were after her. Well, it will happen alright.
"Dang it Addie.” I heard him groan.
The sound of my name upon his lips was pained, but the annoyance couldn’t be missed. I felt so bad for myself, I felt sad for what happened. I wanted to throw daggers at him. I wanted to scream expletives just to see how he would react. But I do not have the courage to do that. I only looked up to see him in the middle of fitting his belt. The sex god was standing before me. How could I not look at him? I seized the opportunity and my gaze wandered lower to his abdomen following his happy trail...down...down... until he grunted and gave me his muscled back to zip himself up.
When he spun around to face me again, our gazes met. He grimaced when he saw the disgust and the hurt being reflected in my eyes.
You are responsible for that you bastard.
“Cole, what will you do now?” Helen’s panic-stricken words cut through the silence. I saw the disbelief in Cole’s eyes. The selfish bitch was placing all the guilt and responsibility upon his shoulders. “Ryan—Ryan would know!” Helen added while raising her voice, her eyes widening in fear.
“Just get the fuck out of here!” Cole harshly commanded, startling the hussy with his brutal tone.
“I never wanted this to happen anyway!” Helen haughtily protested. Following the sound of her high pitched voice, my eyes scanned the room in search of her offending presence. Just as I expected, I found her near the door, her hand slightly turning the knob open. I had the feeling that she was waiting for the right opportunity to escape this mess. Sly woman.
“I will deny it Cole! Deny everything that has to do with this! And you—“ she glared at me. “I advise you to keep your mouth shut!” Then the door slammed behind her leaving the two of us inside this sin-filled room.
My gaze returned to Cole and I shivered when I found his gaze zeroed on mine. His dark eyes were calculating and his lip was set in a grim line. He took a step forward and I instinctively took a step back. It was a reflex action since he look like he was going to kill me. I'm not a fool to die a virgin. Not in this room. Not in this nightdress which is obviously too big for me. Not in the hands of the man I love.
His brows knitted but he took another step closer.
I struggled hard to keep standing on my place and to not look so intimidated by his domineering gaze. Can I still trust this guy? This guy who has betrayed my brother? A cold breeze blew into the room and I hugged myself for comfort. Fixing the loose strap on my shoulder, I accidentaly touched the sticky semen in my arm. It was that thing that jetted out of Cole when he came a few moments ago.
"SHIT!" He cursed, his face draining of color. I was surprised by that expression. He seems afraid of something...His eyes at that time was then filled with immeasurable terror. A response for what he had done to me...
He was suddenly saying things I could not comprehend. The lost of innocence. The fact that he would forever be damned and that he would never forgive himself.
Then he started talking about Ryan, his bestfriend and his betrayal. When his eyes found mine I felt a nervous feeling slowly taking over my heart. I was not only afraid for myself but also for him.
"Addie..." His voice was tortured, he lifted a hand to reach for me but I did nothing. And then without a word, he grabbed me. His grip was so strong I couldn't escape his hold.
"Wait! What are you doing!?" I let out a pained whimper when he dragged me inside the small bathroom. I had no idea what he's up to but the panic in his eyes made me keep my mouth shut.
He flicked the switch on and the small cubicle was flooded with light, I squinted my eyes and saw his back marked with female scratches, old and new ones. The mark from Helen's nails when she mercilessly raked his back during the height of passion was still evident. It was slightly red and bleeding.
"Cole!" I gasped his name as he roughly pushed me closer to the sink, forcing my stained arm at the mercy of the faucet. Cold water rushed in. He took a bar of soap in his free hand and lathered my arm with it. I winced when he started scrubbing my skin off like some mad man.
Everything was quiet, except for Cole's heavy breathing, the flowing water, and my pounding heart.
"Blast it Cole! It hurts!" I complained when I felt my skin peel from his harsh treatment. But he didn't stop. I could still see his horrified face reflected in the mirror, still engrossed with rubbing my arm clean of his filth. Beads of sweat started to form on his forehead.
"I'm sorry," his voice broke. It was the first thing that he said to me for a long time. I swallowed the lump in my throat and whispered,
"That's enough."
He loosened his hold but he still wouldn't let go of me. He placed my arm on the water to rinse the soap. The jerk had done this four times already! However, this time, his manner was gentle. He massaged my arm and rubbed the area no longer stained by his sin.
"Please." I pleaded.
He angrily threw the soap in the wash stand. I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. He went out of the bathroom still gripping my violated arm.
"I want you to forget about everything that happened tonight."
I know he couldn't see me, but I rolled my eyes at him. "You wish."
He sat on the bed and pulled me to sit beside him which I reluctantly did. I could not afford to fight him now. My joints hurt from trying to get away from his deathly grip. "It's for your own good Addie."
"For MY own good? FUCK YOU! You LIE Cole Drake Hanson!" I hissed at him "It's for YOUR own good! You were fucking my brother's girlfriend! And that bitch! she was..." my voice broke "She was fucking you in return! And you love it! Damn you! Your cock enjoyed it!"
I saw the stunned look on Cole's face. "Can you hear yourself Addie?"
I couldn't believe my own ears. "Yes! Do you think I'm freaking deaf? I heard your motherfcking moans and groans. Are you shocked? I could fucking curse whenever I want! You bastard! Jerk! You piece of—"
"Addie!" He shook me hard enough to rattle my brain.
"I learned all this shits from you Cole." I was pretty pleased to see him wince. "Aren't you proud?" He stared at me for a moment longer... And then he snickered,
"Your dirty talking actually gave me a boner. I'm getting hard."
I flushed at his remark. "R-Really?" I looked down to see if there's really a bulge in his pants but he cupped my face and forced my eyes to meet his gaze.
"Don't--" his voice strained.
"Why?"
"Because if you look, it's going to hurt more."
"Why?"
"Because," he gave me an embarassed look. "Damn it! Stop asking."
"Let me see." I insisted suddenly feeling giddy of the fact that I was able to arouse him.
But Cole shook his head, "I was kidding."
"You sly bastard! You were trying to distract me!"
"And if that is true, what will a kid like you do?" If it was possible, Cole's dark orbs turned wintry... Now he was back at being angry at me. How dare he? I should be the one who must feel bad about what happened.
"Ryan will know about this."
"Of course. if some brat tells him," he said in a matter of fact tone. Before I could even react, his eyes darted down to my mouth, then his tone changed. "Keep it shut sweetheart or I will do it for you."
His half naked state, the atmosphere in the room, the smell of sex combined with his masculine scent, his nearness... The heat of his palm touching my skin, his eyes... Everything was too much. I moistened my lips with the tip of my tongue suddenly feeling hot.
I heard his low groan.
"Cole..."
With a curse, he pushed me hard on the bed.
"Hey that's not fair--!" I protested.
Leaning down, he half covered my body with his, "What happened was none of your business. Let me talk to Ryan about this."
"I don't understand. Why did you do it?" I blatantly asked, still wanting to find the answers for his betrayal.
He swallowed hard, then turned away, but before he could mask his expression with indifference. I saw it... I saw the troubled look in his eyes.
He rubbed his face with his free hand and I heard his muffled reply, "I can't tell you now, you wouldn't understand."
******
Two days after that incident I saw Ryan with Helen at the back of our school building. She was crying, hugging him with such force I winced in behalf of my brother. I saw Ryan comfort her, I nearly gagged when I saw her bitch face smiling behind his shoulder.
The next morning, my brother told my parents that Cole won't be coming back in the house again. He said it with such finality and hatred that astounded both my parents. Then when he turned to me, I saw the coldness in his eyes. I thought at first it was resentment, what have I done? What did that bitch told him?
"Ashley." He called me Ashley. He only does that when he's going to say something serious.
"Yes?"
"Nothing." mysteriously, my brother smiled.
That afternoon of the same day, he severed all ties with Cole, his bestfriend. Without a show of remorse, my brother turned his back on Cole when he needed help. The man I love as usual was surrounded with a bunch of guys from another school. Cole's promiscuity has taken its toll on him. The moment Ryan brushed him aside, those thugs took it as an invitation to hurt him.
A week passed and I never saw Cole again.
Some say he left town to fuck more bitches, some say he's at home masturbating to his heart's content.
At home, Ryan never tries to joke around again. He became more firm and strict than my father. I do not have any social life anymore, not that I had one before, but it became a lot worse. I could not go out without him or without his permission. After class, he fetches me in my building and then he looks around suspiciously as if someone would come out of the bushes and attack us.
Helen and Ryan continued going out... and I continued to pin for Cole.To crave for the man who is no longer a part of our lives (Ryan's words not mine).
Then I heard the girls in class talking about the handsome bellboy of Starcross hotel near the town's border. I knew it was him. Only Cole could affect women like this.
So I went there with my heart on my sleeves. After all that happened, I still like him. Despite my brother's orders, and despite the fact that I'm betraying his trust, I still want Cole. I still hope that he would look at me and see me as someone special. Not like his sister.
When I came to the hotel, I personally asked the staff for Cole Drake Hanson to come over my room. He came inside, holding a tray of coffee, he placed it on the table without looking at me.
"Do you need anything else, ma'am?"
"Cole." my voice was slightly shaking when I called him. A look of surprise passed his face but when he lifted his head, I saw nothing but formality. With my back to the window I stood right before him in my uniform. I skipped class so that Ryan wouldn't be able to know where I am.
"Do you need anything else, ma'am?" He repeated, his voice firm. Now I know how it feels to see someone looking straight at you, but never really sees you. It's like you're not there.
"Cole, how are you?" I asked, trying to start a conversation.
"If you don't need anything, then I must go."
"P-Please! Wait!" I ran into him and hugged him from behind. "Please. Talk to me Cole. Please." Tears started to fall freely from my eyes. He took another step forward, unaffected by my sudden burst of emotion. I tightened my hold on him. Begging...begging him to say something.
He sighed. "You are unbelievably annoying."
"If being like this makes you notice me, then, I don't mind being called annoying."
He drily replied, "Well, I do mind. Your brother will kill me if he finds out that you're here."
"Ryan wouldn't do that."
"Of course Ryan would. You are his precious sister. I still have a faint bruise on my face to prove it." He gave a harsh laugh. "He threatened me. He will cut my balls if he sees me near you or his girlfriend." after a slight pause, he added. "And I need my balls to pleasure women!"
This guy is so unbelievable! "C-Cole you--"
His hand came down to touch mine. Then he turned around to face me. He looked pained, "What are you really doing here Addie? To see how miserable I am? To torment me with what I have done? I already paid for it. I lost my bestfriend. I lost the family I ever had."
"Then why? Why did you do it if you knew this would happen?"
"Because I'm a horny bastard. I screw everything that moves." I was so hurt by what he said, probably because I heard the bitterness in his tone. It was painful for me to hear something like this from Cole. He's not like that.
"I know you have this condition...When you have the urge to have s-sex..."
"Where'd you hear that?" His brows furrowed suspiciously.
"Ryan."
"Well, it wasn't because of my condition." He gave me a cruel smile.
"I just want her. That's all."
That killed me.
----------------X
Dragging story. I know. Chapter dedicated to reyssie who has been with me ever since I could remember.