I'm gonna feel it, feel it so strong
This is making me alive
We don't even have to say goodbye
I'm gonna feel it, feel it so strong
This is tryna make me alive
We don't even have to say goodbye
-Michele Morrone
Alaric had come back, and I could only imagine the reason being was because of my heat.
Our eyes met, and with my new enhanced eyesight, I could see him clearly in the darkness of the room. I could see the gold flecks in his dark brown eyes, the lust and desire that appeared to cloud his mind.
He could smell my arousal, he could smell my heat.
I was too overwhelmed to worry that I was stark naked in front of Alaric. I should've been embarrassed but it was the least of my problems. He observed me, a hot, quivering naked mess on the bed.
Before I could even move, he was at my side, leaning over my aching frame. His hands were immediately on my body, and I couldn't help but relax slightly. A large hand was stroking my hot cheeks lightly, whilst he interlocked his fingers with one of my hands. The mate bond shot electric sparks into my body, the heat calming down by a notch, but my skin burned wanting more than a simple caress.
"You can't handle it, Valerie," Alaric whispered, his voice was husky and deep.
Those four words had my body yearning for him. His voice pricked at the hairs on my body, and I groaned deeply, leaning into his touch, and squeezing his hand tight. Alaric had barely touched me, but yet the way he made me feel was intense.
"Let me make you feel better," his hand trailed down my cheek, past my jaw and down to my neck. His fingers brushed against his mark, making it burn and throb. I shivered at his touch at the same time that I started trembling with need. My body reacted, greedily, to the feel of his hand on me; wanting more of his touch to soothe the pain of the heat away.
"Alaric," I moaned out his name, as his hand dipped lower brushing against my collarbone. My eyes rolled to the back of my head, as I felt little flickers of relief enter my body. His hand continued to roam further down my body, with slow but eager movements, following the swell of my breasts.
His touch was like ice, cooling me down, easing the pain away but at the same time the heat lingered. His scent was driving me mad, my body edged closer to him, and without thinking I squeezed his hand tight and pulled him closer to me.
Alaric's eyes were blazing wild.
The essence of the room changed, I could smell his scent mingling with the thickness of my desire. It was addictive, pulling me further into a cloud of desperation.
Alaric's touch was what I needed, I craved the relief he gave me and the way that he made me feel somewhat better. The fiery heat was dull, slowly disappearing. I felt him lower his head closer to mine, his lips hovered over mine and I closed the distance between us; crashing my mouth against his.
I pulled him down, my hands flying up to grip his shirt. Somehow, Alaric ended up on top of me, his body pressed against mine, but he made sure to keep his weight off me. The feel of his shirt against my overheated skin was frustrating, my fingers worked fast against the buttons to undo his shirt.
An intense moan escaped me, as my pelvic area throbbed and as if Alaric could read my mind, he pushed his pelvis against mine. I wasn't prepared to deepen the kiss, I wasn't sure what I was expecting when I kissed him. Alaric took control, leaning his hard muscular body against mine, as he parted my lips slightly. His hands snaked around my body, holding me tight. Sparks erupted all over me, causing a sense of lightheadedness. The heat and burning pain in my abdomen almost completely vanished, all that was left was the throbbing ache between my legs.
Alaric's touch had sent me into a frenzy, I wanted more. My hands slipped against his opened shirt; searching for the muscular hardness of his chest and torso. My fingertips had a mind of their own as they ran over his skin. Alaric groaned softly into my mouth and with a new surge of desire, his mouth was frantic against my own, consuming me with his kiss. The way his mouth moved against mine was pure bliss, making me thirsty for more. We had never kissed like this before, Alaric's kisses had been gentle with a gust of power. These kisses were more heated and bold, soothing my aching body but left me in a spiral of aching for more.
Alaric's hand trailed up and down my body, feeling every ounce of my bare skin, leaving a line of pinpricks. I moaned into his mouth and without warning, he deepened the kiss even further, stroking his tongue against mine; sinfully. The sensations were overpowering, my core inflamed, my head pulsed with need. My eyes squeezed shut tightly, feeling Alaric's hand trailing down my body towards the sweet spot between my legs.
My sense of realisation descended on me, alarms of warning blared at the back of my mind.
This wasn't right.
The heat was controlling my body, making me forget what Alaric had done. My eyes flew open and I almost screamed out as I used all my strength to push him away from me. My mouth ripped away from his, as his arms loosened around my body and he stumbled back slightly.
"NO!" I yelled, scrambling to sit up and grab the damp sheets to cover myself. The feel of the fabric touching me was unpleasant, but I ignored the stinging itch. I was breathless from both the kisses and from the dulling pain that was making itself known.
The feeling of heat that had almost gone, came shooting back, at full force. I screamed out, the fire was punishing my body for pushing my mate away.
My body trembled and shook, as every single second I was pummelled with the unbearable pain of heat. My cries were strangled in my throat, tears drenching my cheeks.
"What the hell!" Alaric growled out, a fierce look of lust in his eyes.
"Get away from me!" I screeched out.
Fire danced in his eyes, the familiar red flecks making themselves present in his brown eyes. The way that he towered over me was primal, his body net down slightly as if he was about to go in for the kill. The light of the moon illuminated him, giving him a powerful aura of pure dominance.
Alaric moved so slowly, his body crouched over me as he placed his hands back on my body.
"I will end this whether you like it or not!"
"No, don't you dare take advantage of me!" I cried out as burning pulses invaded my body all over. Alaric's hand soothed my skin, cooling the burning flushes, evoking a million sensations.
"You don't care for me Alaric, you don't even know what love is!" I shouted out, scrambling further away, pushing his hands away as I tried to hold the sheet up. It was no use, Alaric was too quick, his hands found their way back to me. The way he held me in his tight grip was almost impossible to break free from.
Every time I ripped away from him, the fire burned me.
Every time he put his hands back on me, the fire died out.
I shook as another wave punished me, but all I could think about was that Alaric only wanted this to end because of the mate pull. He didn't love me, he clearly didn't care about me. My body was acting as a signal for sex. It was utterly degrading and shameful.
Tears blurred my vision and I held back a sob. "How can we mate knowing you're only doing it because of the mate pull! This isn't love!"
Ripping myself away from Alaric, I ended up tumbling off the bed and landing in a twisted heap on the hard floor. I didn't feel the impact of the collision, the pain of the heat was all that I felt.
I cried out, clawing against sheets that were wrapped around me. Alaric's hands were on me, once again. I thrashed against him, trying to get away as my mouth let out screams.
"Stop!" It was more of a plead than a command. "Don't touch me!"
I was conflicted, my body wanted his hands on me, easing my pain. But my heart knew that this wasn't right; I couldn't easily give in especially in my weakened state. The internal battle was cruel, both my body and heart were fighting with each other. My mind, on the other hand, was Switzerland, seeing both sides to the situation but staying out of the battle.
My body pulsed with need, stabbing me all over. It was both unbearable and agonising. Alaric was the solution, he was right in front of me; willing to give me what my body needed. But yet he wasn't aware of what my heart needed; an apology.
"Stop touching me, Alaric!" I growled out, gritting my teeth tightly.
"I will not entertain your bullshit any longer!" Alaric bellowed. "You're in agony!"
"I know that!" I yelled back.
"You have to let me help you-"
"Your definition of help is the complete opposite of the damn word!"
I doubled over, clutching tightly at my stomach.
"Leave!" I shrieked. "Don't come near me!"
"Do you honestly want to spend the entire night like this?" Alaric seethed out. "I can stop this!"
Was he stupid?
I had already endured two nights of it already.
"I know you can, I just don't want you to!" I screamed out, curling up into a ball on the floor. My body heaved heavily, trying to gasp out for air.
Alaric's set consumed me, as his presence came nearer to me. Frustration was eating at me, how many more times would I have to scream at him. My throat was burning and raw, to the point that it felt like I was swallowing sand.
"Valerie you cant handle it-"
An animalistic growl erupted from me. I felt the vibrations shake through my body, it felt powerful and primal.
I slowly stood up, holding the damp sheet to my body. Alaric watched me, shock evident in his eyes...
"Get the fuck away from me now!"
My voice didn't sound like my own, it didn't sound human. It took me a second to realise that my wolf was using me to speak. The voice held the power of an Alpha, but also the grace of a Luna. My body was shivering, and in my mind it felt like my wolf had pushed herself forward, taking control and charge.
"Leave this room, shut the door and do not enter!"
Alaric swallowed, clenching not only his jaw but also his fists. His eyes had flamed up, all I saw was red when I looked deep into his eyes. The glowing danger in his eyes was not to be messed with, and I knew that I had overstepped but I didn't care. I was beyond caring, all I wanted was to endure the rest of the night, without feeling so conflicted and pressured to mate with Alaric.
Alaric gave me a dark look, his canines had extended, his wolf did not like the way I had spoken to him. He took a step forward, challenging me to see what I would do.
My body wanted nothing more than to run into his arms and for him to take the pain away. I felt my wolf take a step back if that was even possible. She was giving me the final say and choice.
"Leave," I whispered, in my own voice. Silent tears streamed down my face, my insides flaring up and twisting at every pulse of the heat.
For a second, I thought I saw a glimmer of hurt in Alaric's eyes but it could've just been the tears in my eyes making everything look blurry. His face was emotionless, as he stood in front of me for a matter of seconds and soon disappeared into the air.
He hadn't left the way I thought he would, he had chosen the dramatic option showcasing the fact that he could evaporate into thin air.
With shaky legs, I urged myself to the door closing it shut and locking it.
A wave of guilt washed over me, the same time that my legs felt weak; unable to keep me standing. I sunk to the floor, closing my eyes tightly embracing the last night of my heat.
*_*_*
During the night, I was in and out of consciousness. Whenever my eyes closed, I was surrounded by fire and whenever my eyes opened, all I could feel was burning sensations.
The sunlight streamed through the window, and my eyes fluttered open as my hands flew to shield my eyes.
A soft groan left my lips, taking my hands away I scanned the room. I was laying on the floor, next to the huge bay windows. I was stark naked, not even covered by the bedsheets; probably sometime during the night, I had shoved them away.
I was alone, no traces of Alaric could be seen and because of that, I didn't know how to feel. I had told him to leave and he had listened. I wanted to feel annoyed because he had left me, but I had no right to feel that way.
Heaving myself off the floor, my head throbbed painfully. I grabbed the bedsheet and wrapped it around my body. My arms ached as I moved them, but I pushed through the pain.
I staggered to the bedroom door, almost tripping over the bedsheets in the process of movement. With the little strength I had, I used it to open and unlock the door. Before I could even step out of the room, my eyes widened and I gasped.
I didn't expect to find Alaric sleeping outside the room on the floor.
He hadn't left me completely alone, he had stayed in the house; hearing my pain and distress.
I couldn't be angry with him. His tactical mind had found a way to stay with me without completely leaving. At any point during the night, Alaric could've stormed into the room. He could've forced himself on me, relieving my pain... but he didn't.
He had stayed outside and did not dare enter the room.
Falling slowly down to my knees, I knelt down next to Alaric and placed my hand on his bare chest. The sparks of the mate bond tingle, instantly relaxing me. Alaric stirred under my touch, and soon his eyes flew open.
"Are you alright?" He asked, as his eyes scanned me looking up and down...
"Do you care?" I asked, raising an eyebrow, retracting my hand back. It was childish of me to act cold towards him, but yet I still hadn't forgiven him for commanding me to shift back and for his hurtful words.
Alaric sat up, his build towering over my small frame. His face contorted in frustration.
"Yes."
I scoffed, shaking my head. "You've got a funny way of showing it."
Alaric sighed heavily, running a hand through his thick dishevelled hair.
"I know what you think of me," he took a breath in. "But just know that last night wasn't easy for me; just as it wasn't easy for you."
I scoffed at his words, pulling the sheet tighter around my body, crossing my arms around my chest. I didn't care if I looked like pouting child, I needed to hold myself together before I crumbled at Alaric's will.
"You didn't suffer through the male version of heat! You've been with other women Alaric! How was last night not easy for you?"
Irritation flashed in Alaric's eyes, and he shifted his position on the floor. "Yes, I've laid with others before you! That is my past Valerie, do you blame me for not staying celibate for over six hundred years?"
I swallowed the dry lump in my throat, tears threatened my eyes. I didn't want to cry, but hearing him admit that he didn't wait for me was like a slap in the face. Again, I had no right to be upset about this. Six hundred years was a painfully long time, no doubt that Alaric had been lonely. I looked down at my lap, and at the crinkled grey bedsheet.
"No, I don't blame you," I started to say. "But six hundred years should've taught you how to treat a female."
I glanced up and locked my gaze on Alaric's handsome face. Despite the stress lines on his forehead and the dark bags under his eyes, he didn't fail to look attractive. I probably looked like utter crap, in comparison to him. He studied my face for a minute, his gaze was intense and I felt like shrinking back.
I watched as Alaric opened his mouth, his words came out in a soft hush.
"You deserve better."
My head quirked up in shock. I hadn't expected him to say those words to me.
"You're right, I do," I agreed. "I deserve so much better from you."
An unknown emotion ran through Alaric's eyes, and he nodded his head.
I pushed back a lock of hair that had fallen in front of my face. "You of all people know what I've been through, I shouldn't have to go through worse with you."
"You're right," he agreed. "I should never have commanded you and those words should have never left my tongue." Alaric moved closer to me, we were millimetres apart, so close but yet so far from each other.
"Valerie I'm so sorry and no matter how long it takes, I'll prove to you that I'm worthy of you," he declared. The words felt powerful, yet vulnerable, coming from him, and it sent a shiver up my spine. He had apologised, but yet I needed actions. I needed to see just how sorry he was, after all, actions spoke louder than words.
"You're gonna be proving that for a long time," I warned, with a serious look. Of course, I was probably as threatening as a puppy.
Alaric smirked, "I wouldn't expect anything less."
I pursed my lips and hugged the sheets tighter to my body. My limbs were even stiffer than before, I just hoped that the feeling would go away. Thankfully, I didn't have to bear the pain of heat anymore... well not until the next full moon.
"Can I touch you, or are you going to scream at me again?" Alaric teased, but there was a serious edge to his voice. Almost as if he was certain that I wouldn't let him touch me.
"No, I won't scream," I murmured, my purple eyes looked deep into Alaric's. " You can touch me, only if you promise to try and be more understanding."
Alaric didn't think twice before he leaned in, his strong arms wrapping themselves around my small body. " I swear I'll be more understanding."
I melted in Alaric's embrace, pushing my body into his chest. If I wasn't holding the bedsheet tightly to my body, I would've thrown my arms around Alaric. Instead, I placed a hand against his chest, feeling the smooth hardness of his skin. My skin tingled at his touch, electric currents sparked within me. I hadn't realised that I was cold, until Alaric's warmth transferred onto me, causing me to inhale deeply. The familiar scent citrus and pine stained my nostrils, the scent was intoxicating and I knew that I never wanted to forget the way that Alaric smelt. It was better than the expensive colognes that he wore.
Alaric held me close, one arm was gripped around my back, as he let a hand tangle itself into my dark hair.
"My beautiful, purple-eyed mate," Alaric whispered into my hair, breathing in.
At that moment, I felt Alaric's emotions wash through me like a small tidal wave. He didn't need to explain how he felt, I already knew. The mate pull was strong between us, his feelings merged with my own.
Alaric wanted to make our mateship work and so did I...
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Hello!!
Thank you so much for reading this chapter!
Who likes the beautiful graphic on the side? This is what I imagine Valerie's eyes to look like, thank you soo so much to @HemiiGoinden for creating this!!
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(Chapter is unedited, I have read through but they may be small spelling and grammar issues!)
Take care, stay safe, you are all amazing!! :D x