Kevin was screwed. He couldn't stop staring at Jacob during their date and he just knew that the older was all he ever wanted.
When Kevin originally said via text, 'I'd rather call you mine,' it was a joke then. A random bold move to make the other male a little flustered.
But now.... now he wanted to be able to call him his. Longed to have him by his side for as long as he lived.
Soulmate was never a more accurate term to describe his attraction towards him. The pull he feels in his heart is stronger than anything he's ever experienced before.
The poor boy was staring at the ceiling, desperately trying to sleep... but thoughts of the older plagued his mind. Tonight would be a restless one.
Restless because Jacob Bae was perfection. And restless because Kevin Moon was whipped.
He didn't know how to treat these new found emotions that were only becoming stronger as the seconds passed. The more he thought about the older, the more he fell in love.
It was strange and confusing. The feeling was unknown and foreign to Kevin.
Now, it wasn't like he had never had a crush on anyone. No, he had plenty of those. The thing was, Kevin knew he had never been in love.
Liking someone and loving someone is totally different. Sure, the two emotions coexist on the same sort of spectrum, but love is so much stronger.
The emotion was so powerful and potent, the word itself could be dangerous if used improperly. Love, it fucks up your feels and your entire being.
And the fact that there was no other word strong enough to describe what Kevin felt towards Jacob, was terrifying.
He was scared, but for some reason, he was almost... comfortable.
Unconsciously, Kevin had begun attempting to pinpoint the exact moment that he fell Jacob. No matter how much he thought, a specific instance never made itself known.
Yet he knew that somewhere within the blur of these past couple of months that they had been talking, he had fallen deeply in love with the older.
Deciding that it was useless, Kevin gave up on trying to figure out the when. After all, did it actually matter?
His mind kept going back to Jacob's smile. God, that smile. It was precious and beautiful and Kevin felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into the overwhelming emotions. He was now drowning in his admiration for the Toronto boy.
There was absolutely no way that this was healthy.
Grabbing his phone and turning it on, he saw that it was now 3:15 am. Oh yeah, not healthy at all.
He unlocked the phone and without even the slightest of hesitation, he opened up his messages with him and Jacob and scrolled all the way up to the top.
He began silently reading them to himself, all the way from the first message.
A lyric prank. That was how it started. Well, an attempted lyric prank.
Kevin was smiling like an idiot reading all of the vine references and seeing all of the memes. Oh yes, their texts were a grand museum of laughter... and Kevin was living for it.
The pictures and selfies that they had sent each other. Kevin would be lying if he said that he didn't pause and stare at each one of Jacob.
He started remembering the older's laughter. It was music to his ears. He determined, that it was his favorite sound in the whole world.
The blush that would creep up on Jacob's face anytime he was flustered. Beautiful. Breath-taking. And Kevin loved the fact that the majority of the time, he had caused it.
He loved the fact that he had an impact on the older. How he could make him feel embarrassed so easily. He had a certain effect on Jacob, and it gave him a little bit of hope.
Hope that Jacob might feel the same way.
And this, this is what scared Kevin the most. The realization that he had no clue how the other felt towards him. What he even thought of him. Was he just a friend to Jacob?
Just the thought of that was absolutely crushing. If his feelings were truly one-sided, he might as well curl himself up in a ball and cry for the rest of his existence.
As pathetic as that makes him sound, that was the way he felt.
Helpless. He was helplessly in love. His heart was in Jacob's hands and the latter probably didn't even know it. All he could do was pray to God that it wouldn't get broken.
Please God, if you're really out there. Please let this work out.
He was pleading to whatever deity would listen to his worries and concerns.
Kevin wasn't going to lie, he had thought of trying to run this time. Run from his emotions and to pretend they didn't exist. However, the logic within him stepped up quickly and told him immediately that that was a stupid idea. The more you try to run from your emotions the stronger they become.
You can't run from your heart. You have to listen to it, whether you want to do so or not, it's something that humans have to do.
So yet again, Kevin decided that he was going to just go for it. Take his chance.
He was going to risk getting hurt for the older. Oh God, what he'd do to get the boy to fall for him.
What Kevin really wondered was how he had fallen so deeply in love. How did he get to this? How was he this whipped?
What about Jacob made him feel this way?
It wasn't too long til Kevin had come to the conclusion that it was everything. Everything about him made his heart pound and tumble.
When he had dropped the Jacob off in the school parking lot, his eyes were sparkling with happiness.
It made Kevin weak to the point where he felt like breaking the first rule in dating. The one about not kissing on the first date. Thankfully he didn't.
Can you imagine how awkward that would've been if Jacob didn't love him back? God, it would've been hell!
A soft knock interrupted his thoughts and he glanced over to the door.
Getting out of bed, he moved towards the door and opened it, revealing his younger brother.
"Hyunjoon?"
"Oh, you're not asleep as well. Thank God," the younger said all this while letting himself in Kevin's room.
"What are you doing?"
"I need to talk to you..."
Closing the door, the older went and sat beside his brother on the bed, "So... what's up?"
"Well... you know your friend Hyunjae?"
He raised an eyebrow but nodded anyway, "Yeah..."
"So... Imadeananonymousaccountoninstagramandhefounditwithoutknowingthatitwasmeandwehavebeenmessagingeachotherforlike2monthsandhedoesntknowwhoiambutithinkilikehimhelp!"
"Excuse me... what?"
"We've been messaging on an anonymous insta account of mine for two months and I think I... like him."
"Well then... would you like a date with him?" Kevin wiggled his eyebrows with a mischievous smile.
Hyunjoon, who was an absolute tomato, blushed deeply.
"He doesn't even know it's me and I dunno if he likes me back."
Oh... lovely. So, just, y'know... two brothers pining after people who might not even like them.
"Hey, we're in the same fucking boat."
"Oh, you like that Jacob guy?"
Kevin gave his brother a pained smile, "I love him."
Hyunjoon choked, "What? Are you sure cus like, love is a strong word and i-"
"I love him."
"What makes you so sure? Think about it before you say something like that. It could be just a crush."
Kevin chuckled internally. He had thought about it. A crush? Maybe it had started out that way. The intensity and power of the emotions he felt towards Jacob was almost too much for him.
He couldn't stop thinking of him. The overwhelming feelings in his lungs and heart swirling together suffocated him.
At this point, Jacob owned him. His mind, lungs, body and heart belonged to him. Only him. (A/N: Me making a reference to a book I haven't published yet like: 😉)
"Hyunjoon..." He met his brother's gaze and with all the sincerity in the world he said what he was feeling, "I'm in love with him. Everything about him. I fucking love him... and I'm going to fight for him if neccessary."
Hwall's jaw dropped, "Oh shit... you really are in love, aren't you?"
Yes, he was.
Kevin Moon was helplessly in love with Jacob Baeㅡ but was it all that helpless after all?
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
I hope you like this little update before I start being really busy.
Sorry this took so long, Wattpad deleted this chapter at least seven times. I had to rewrite it. It was such a fucking pain.
Guard camp is starting up for the marching band season.
I just know that I'm going to injure myself somehow. It's just the way that it is with guard.
Anyways, I want y'all always remember...
Even if I might not be able to update as frequently...
Remember....
I PURPLE YOU ALL MY LOVELY LITTLE CUBS!!!!
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