(If it helps I was listening to Dimension - Arcade Fire while writing this chapter.)
Monday, 9th of October.
"Sakura-chan, can I come in?"
"Come in, Naruto."
Sasuke heard the door and he instantly felt the presence of his friend.
"Where are you?"
"In the kitchen."
He lifted his head up to see Naruto walking in.
"Why are you two on the floor?"
"She fell and started crying so..."
"Mh. What the hell happened in here? Why is the place completely empty?"
"She believed that the place was dirty and the furniture were making it hard for her to clean."
He saw the blonde sit down in front of them. Sasuke was still holding Sakura onto his chest, his legs surrounding her. She had fallen asleep at least an hour ago but he didn't know what to do so he just stayed on the floor. Naruto looked at him for a minute before he tarted speaking.
"It's funny you know. The two of us are considered the most powerful Shinobi on the planet. Nothing is really a threat to us and we can fight anything but this... this is terrifying. I don't know how to handle something like this." Sasuke nodded, silently agreeing with his friend. "Here, take this. I went to see Tsunade straight after you told me about Yukata. She told me that she was having a nervous breakdown. Apparently it happens when people have too many emotions built up inside."
"Can people heal from that?"
"Tsunade told me yes. She said that Sakura needed a lot of rest and she needed to see someone."
"A lot of rest... is that what she said?" he felt suspicious of something wanted to double check.
"Yeah, what about it?" Sasuke focused the chakra into his hand. The green glow emanated from it straight away. He moved it up and down her body until he realised something. "Since when can you do medical jutsu?"
"Sakura taught me. There is something disturbing her chakra. I'm not trained enough to tell you what it is, but she took something."
"Some kind of drugs?"
"Possibly."
"That would explain why she was obsessed with cleaning everything."
"Hn." Sasuke replayed the moment when he had walked into her apartment in his mind. Her frantic movements, her tears, her voice,... everything had been scary.
"What are you gonna do now?"
"I don't know. She isn't wearing the Uchiha crest on her back. I don't know if it means that she was serious about our marriage."
"Dude, no offence to you but... one, you messed up, two, she was convinced that her place was messy to the point where she emptied it. I don't think she meant anything she said. Not even what she said to you earlier in front of the gates."
"You heard that?"
"I did. You're not all these things she said. You didn't use her to revive your clan either. She knows it deep down. I know you and I know that you're gonna make yourself go insane thinking about what she said to you but don't. She loves you, possibly too much for her own good."
"Can I ask you something?"
"Yes."
"What would you do?"
"I'd be here for her. I'd make sure that she knows that I will never leave her, I'd cover her with hugs and kisses-"
"I can't do that."
"I know, I'm just giving you my way of showing love. Use yours but be present. She needs someone now. She needs her husband."
"That's if she forgives me."
"Well she won't if you don't put her into a proper bed. You can't make her sleep on the floor. Come on, we'll get her to my place."
"No, to mine."
"Same thing."
Sasuke and Naruto walked to the apartment carrying Sakura. Sasuke was extremely worried about her but tried to put on a good face. He was the one who messed up, he was the one who needed to keep it together.
Naruto lay her down in Sasuke's bed.
"Right I'll leave you two alone. I'll come back tomorrow."
"Hn."
"I know, you're welcome!"
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Tuesday, 10th of October
It was already late in the morning when he felt her move under the blanket. He hadn't slept through the entire night just in case she would wake up. He was sitting on a chair he had brought form the living room, next to the bed.
He saw her emerald eye opening with difficulty. He let her take in everything around her before he tried to speak. He only tried because he couldn't. Seeing her in front of him stressed him so much that he was completely quiet. She looked at him angrily.
"What are you doing here? I can't see you right now!" he tried to stop her from getting out of bed but she pushed him. "I want to see Ino so get out of my way, we'll talk later."
"Sakura, please."
"I know that we need to talk but just... let me see Ino first. Please." she seemed completely distraught and that was the reason why Sasuke let her go. He followed her secretly to make sure that she wasn't going to do something stupid.
She was walking down the streets until she ended up in Ino's shop. Sasuke hid behind a building. He knew that following her was bad but he just wanted to make sure that she was fine. The two girls walked to a bench. Sasuke stood by, far enough so he could give her some privacy. He couldn't hear anything.
"Sakura, I was so worried."
"I'm fine. I-"
"Well, you didn't seem fine at all. What happened?"
"I need to tell you something. After my fight with Sasuke... I told him that the marriage was a mistake. I forgot that he takes everything seriously. When I said it I didn't think that he would actually leave and then I was too much into this mess to get out of it. I started taking pills to keep myself awake because I was having nightmares. I honestly can't remember anything, especially from last night but anyway. There is something else that happened but I don't know if it's what I thought it was but when I saw it, it made me... made me-"
"Made you what?"
"I started bleeding. I counted the dates and the days. I did it with Sasuke when I was the most likely to get pregnant. I didn't have my period in two weeks but three nights ago I was in a lot of pain and I was bleeding."
"You think you got pregnant but because of the pills you disturbed the entire process and you lost the embryo?"
"Possibly. In two weeks, there is nothing in my womb at all so... I wouldn't say lost it but more lost the egg that could've had something."
"Did you tell Sasuke?"
"No. I didn't tell anyone."
"You should. He has the right to know."
"He's back. I woke up in his apartment this morning. He was sitting on a chair next to me. Honestly the situation between me and him is... tense."
"You need to talk to him. You know we sent him the t-shirt you put in front of your door. After the that we sent another hawk. We told him what was going on. He replied. Do you want to read the letter?"
"Should I?"
"Yes."
"Then I want to see it." Ino handed her a piece of paper that was in her pocket. She recognized his perfect writing.
"Naruto, Ino,
I got your two letters. I am on my way now. Please make sure you talk to her. Give her the support she needs, I am coming. I will act like the husband I should've been since the beginning. You just need to give me the time to get back to the village.
You don't know the full story but she should be the one talking about it, not me but just know that I made a big mistake.
I will make everything right.
Sasuke."
Sakura was fighting the tears. So he wasn't disgusted by her after all.
"The secret to a good relationship is communication. If you hide things inside of you they will always come out. It's fine if you hide a little something but when it's years of hidden emotions, they explode. They explode and hurt everyone around you. Choose the healthiest option by simply talking. He is your husband. Yes, he's emotionally a bit numb in the sense that he feels but he doesn't know how to handle these feelings. But you should teach him. You can explain it to him. Think about it, his mom didn't have time to teach him all these things and life made him turn it off. Life forced him to avoid his emotions so when he feels them, he feels them ten times stronger than all of us."
"I know Ino, I know. I just... I can't be his wife and his mother."
"No one said you had to be both. I just said that you should be his wife and communicate. Understand that he struggles with showing support or he struggles to control his reaction to his emotions."
"Why do you make it sound so easy?"
"Because it's only hard if you make it hard. It's simple. Communicate. If you need a hug, hug him and tell him that you need a hug when you're upset. Kiss him when you feel like it and tell him why you want to kiss him. We all need to learn about the other person in a relationship. You can't guess what the other person likes. I'm sure you already knows what he likes and what he doesn't."
"I do. I know that he likes when I cuddle him, he likes when I make the first move to be physically close, he likes when I play around with him... it makes him smile. He likes when I need to be protected or when he sees that I need him in my arms. He doesn't say it out loud but I can see the smile on his face."
"And you know why you know them? Because you've allowed yourself to feel and express your emotions. He never did. The fact that he came back means that he wants to make things right, help him. If you expect him to do it alone then you'll end up sad. Extremely sad."
"I don't even think that I am mad at him. I'm hurt, not mad. I'm hurt at what he said."
"Then say it. Tell him what you need to feel less hurt. You two love each other but love isn't always enough."
"You think my relationship with him can't work?"
"Not if you keep it the way it is. If you have to diagnose someone, what do you do if you make a mistake?"
"I go over everything again and try to find where the mistake is."
"Why don't you do it in your everyday life then? It's the exact same thing. Something doesn't work, why does it not work?"
"Because I didn't tell him about Kotaka. If he knew he wouldn't have snapped at me. Or I should'vetold him that something happened but I didn't want to speak about it."
"It's not only your fault but that's a good start. If you had told him, he would've snapped at someone else, not you because he needs that. He needs to physically release it to process it. Now don't blame yourself too much, you did what you could and what you thought was right. It takes two to tango and once you realize that it's easier to understand a problem and work to solve it instead of being mad at the person."
"You're right. I don't want to loose him. He did say something bad but at the end he nearly killed Kotaka when he learned it. He always wanted to defend me."
"He totally went the wrong way about it though. Go talk to your man and get his side of the story. Remember, when you speak with an open heart people reply the same way. And tell him about the other thing as well. No more secrets between you two because you're the one keeping secrets, not him."
Sakura stood up and hugged her friend. "Thank you."
"Also if I hear that you took one more of those pills I'm gonna punch you until you fear me. Because you can't remember but you showed up in my shop talking about flowers blooming and dying. You kept saying pretty, pretty flowers while touching petals. I don't want to see that again."
They both laughed. Sakura felt good. Better than these last two weeks actually. She wanted to go and find Sasuke.
As she walked next to a tree she saw a shadow behind it. She stared and quickly realized who it was.
"Are you spying on me?" she said with a small smile.
He slowly walked out of the shadows and appeared in the light. "I wanted to make sure you were safe."
"Honestly, I'm more a danger to myself than anything at this point. Good that you're here, I wanted to see you."
"You did...?" his voice was shaky and her heart melts in her chest.
"Yes. Come on. We need to talk."
He seemed extremely shy to Sakura. She had never seen him like this. He stopped in front of her and waited. He was fidgeting with his shirt. To be honest, he seemed like a little child right now and it fully hit her that inside of him there was a ten years old that never got to grow up. She felt sad for that little child.
"We're not gonna talk in front of everyone. Come to my place."
"No mine!" he replied so quickly that it made her smile.
"Why? I know mine is empty. Don't worry I don't feel the urge to clean something... sorry about this by the way."
"Don't you want to go and see Yukata first?"
"She's alive?"
"Apparently. Barely alive. Tsunade is personally healing her."
Sakura felt her tears filling her eyes. She was alive.
"Do you mind if we go?"
"I don't."
They both walked to the hospital. Sakura felt like running but wanted to keep it together. They finally arrived in front of the surgery room.
"You can stand behind this glass window. I'm going inside. I might be able to help."
She saw him walk to where she told him to and she rushed in the room. Tsunade lifted her head up.
"Ah Sakura! Good that you're here, they are useless. Come and work instead of them."
She positioned herself next to her mentor. It reminded her of the old days when she was still training. Today she was working as an equal.
"What do you want to me to do?"
"Most of her bones broke from the fall. Some of her organs are in a really bad state. If we are cautious we can save her. You will need a lot of chakra."
She looked at the clock. 12:26
Her hands moved on top of the little girl's body. She focused her energy and started working. She was so focused that the outside world didn't exist anymore. All her problems were gone and all it mattered was this little girl right now.
12:54
Sakura was sweating. She could feel the water rolling down her forehead. She had forgotten how much she loved her job.
13:45
Already more than hour had passed and only a quarter of the work was done.
14:15
Her hands and Tsunade's were shaky. She heard her mentor ask some doctors present in the room to help them. She gave them the instructions and suddenly it was easier. Sakura could send less chakra.
14:40
She could feel the pieces of bones sticking back together. Her legs were already fully healed and now they moved onto her belly. This was the tricky part of the surgery. That was were the organs were hurt as well.
15:30
Sakura was running low on chakra. She was trying to control her breath but she was slightly panting. She glanced at Tsunade and realised that she was in the same state. Reassured, she focused on Yukata.
15:57
"Stop everything now!"
All the doctors backed away. Everyone looked at Tsunade worriedly. Sakura spoke instead of her mentor. "She will be fine. She needs a lot of care and rest and some good painkillers. We did it!"
People were cheering in the room. All the doctors were hugging each other. Sakura stroke the little girl's face. "I'll soon be back to watch over you." Feeling extremely weak, she walked out of the room and rested her body against the wall. She slid all the way down to the ground. Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of her.
"Sakura."
"Ah it's you, I'm fine. I don't think I was well rested and it took a toll on my body. She's alive and that's all it matters."
She saw him look around. After checking whatever he was checking, he sat next to her in the hallway. "I am sorry."
"I know you are. So am I."
"You have nothing to apologise for. I am the one who said the wrong thing."
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you that it happened. To be honest, I saw you that night and I hugged you and... I don't know it made me feel better so I didn't feel the need to say anything. It wasn't against you, I just didn't want to bring this up."
"I understand. I got angry, not at you. I was angry at myself and I put the blame on you. I didn't mean to do that."
"I know. You were so angry at him that you panicked and I was the only one in the room who you are close to... so I paid for your anger. I get it just... don't do that next time."
"There won't be a next time."
"What do you mean?"
"If you... if you still want to be my wife... I will make sure that something like that never happens again."
"What are you on about? Of course I still want to be your wife. Look," she turned her head to him and lifted his chin until he faced her. "I wouldn't forgive you if I saw that you didn't feel any remorse but you do. You probably feel so guilty that you could hurt yourself. You feel angry for the both of us so just... forgive yourself."
"You said something similar to me before."
"And I will say it until you get it. Don't hate yourself so much. You haven't made any bad mistakes since we got together and it happens to all of us to say things that we don't mean... just like I did yesterday. I know that you didn't use me."
"I don't deserve your forgiveness."
"Oh no, we're not doing this again. We've been over that in what? June and we're in October now." judging by the face he was making she understood that he wasn't agreeing with her. She moved her hand from his chin to his cheek. She cupped it with her hand. "I don't know how to explain it but I'll give it a try. Picture the ten year old version of yoursel-"
"I don't see how-"
"Just do it, trust me. Close your eyes." she waited for him to do it. "Do you see him? Now imagine that he is in a house. It's a horrible, lifeless house. The curtains are thick and closed so the sun can't shine through them. There is no light, only darkness and shadows. That little boy is chained up to the wall and he is crying. There is a door, that door is locked. That little boy is you. That house is a metaphor to describe where you put yourself when you were that age. You locked up the little boy inside of you and you forced yourself to grow up. The issue with doing that is that the little boy can't grow up with you. No matter how much you try to forget about him, he is still inside here," she touched his chest. "he is still here and you will never be happy if you don't let him out. Open the door. Maybe not all at once because he will end blind because of the light but step by step. Maybe just unlock the door at first and tell him that you will help him." she saw a tear rolling down his cheek. "See what you put yourself through on an everyday basis? I am not mad at you, I am mad at what you do to yourself. Your past was hard enough, don't make your future sad too."
She let him take everything in. He was silent and she knew that it had gotten through to him. It was a trick that she had learned in psychology before she decided to open the clinic. It is a form of light meditation and visualisation that puts an image on what therapy does. With some people it is enough to trigger a change in their subconscious and she hoped that Sasuke was one of them.
When she felt like he had calmed down she spoke again. "You know, if you keep spending your time trying not to be the person you don't want to be, you will end up being that person. How about you just start to be yourself?"
"I don't know myself."
"You do. Deep down you do. Do you want me to tell you how I see you? Maybe it can be a good start. You love deeply, you love more intensely than everyone else. You feel deeply as well and sometimes it's hard for you to control it. You are caring, in your own way you show how much you care. You are extremely talented in everything you decide to do. You're stubborn to the point where you won't give up on what you want. You are respectful, so respectful. You always put my own comfort before yours and you always make sure than I am happy and safe. You are loyal. You literally would've killed in order to protect my honour and my feelings. You're playful and you're really fun when you stop controlling yourself so much. You do become annoying when you want to, I am referring to that day after the wedding when I was trying on clothes. You're beautiful. You're determined and the list goes on. Sasuke you are an incredible person when you allow yourself to be yourself. You are a great partner and husband and one day you will be a wonderful dad."
His eyes grew wider. "Dad?"
"Yes. I... look don't get excited because it might not have worked... but I might be pregnant."
"Pregnant?" his eyes were staring at her but she knew that he wasn't in the room with her. He had travelled in his mind already.
"Maybe, yes. We just need to wait a bit longer."
"I love you." she was taken aback by it. It was the first time that he was whispering these words to her when she was awake.
"I love you too. So stop doubting yourself so much. How about we get a fresh start? Tonight is Naruto's birthday so let's just say that we are back from our honeymoon, ok?"
"Are you sure?"
"I've never been more sure of something."
She kissed him shyly at first and, when she realised that he was responding to the kiss, she made it last longer. She had missed him so much. When he pulled away after hearing some voices, she asked him one thing. One thing that was really important to her.
"Can I get that t-shirt back?"
He laughed for the first time in a very long time and it made her stomach turn upside down. "You mean your t-shirt?" she saw the smirk in his eyes.
"If you call it mine then it looses its purpose."
"Fine. My t-shirt that I will never wear again."
"Better."
They looked at each other and laughed again. Yes, she had missed him.
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I hope that one was a bit nicer to read xx
Also guys, 6k, like 6k!!!!!!!! This is crazy, every time I go on wattpad I have like 15 notifications with new upvotes, comments and all so thank you so so much.
I wrote this story because times are hard right now and it can be really heavy on our mind so I wanted to create an escape story where people could just travel to whenever they want to and the fact the the views are getting higher so fast means that the story resonates with people and it makes me happy. I hope that these daily chapters put a smile on your face or make you travel and forget about your life for fifteen minutes.
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Thank you so much again xx