I used to have a distorted view of what a true friendship was. That it was hanging out and going places and sharing memories. But there is much much too it than that.
At the time, things were rough...I was questioning the longest friendship I had, I was making my first disconnect from my family, and I was honestly really sad all the time.
I would go about my day feeling like crying, eat my feelings away and worry about what other people thought about me. I was in an extremely bad place and I felt lost.
At the time I had a lot of pressure on me as the oldest and being the golden child of the family, and I hated it.
I had to out on an act around people a silly goofy act just so they wouldn't ask me what was wrong. And I especially hated it because I was being hypocritical.
While I hated that people put on an act in from of me, I did it myself.
That's how we met. I took to Twitter to ask questions from strangers around the world.
It was the best decision I made in my entire life.
Because along came you. My favorite person.
After that, we began talking back and forth in our tweets, and I loved it.
Eventually I built up the courage to talk to you after wanting to for a long time. And I'm glad I did.
I had never felt so safe before. Like I could say anything and you would just somehow help and you didn't even have to do anything.
After 6 months if speaking to each other I decided that you were my best friend.
I have never had a friend like you and I don't think I ever will again. Because you are so special to me in so many ways that I can't even express.
After I saw you're face for the first time I decided you were beautiful and the most beautiful human being I had ever seen in my life.
Your cute little button nose, your way hair, your cute little smile and your beautiful eyes.
I decided I had to keep you. In my little book of happy things because I loved seeing you happy and making your day.
Every time you text, every time you call, every time I see your story or your tweets or something you said in the group chat, I can't help but smile.
Because you're my sunshine. No matter how down I am, just talking to you or looking at something you post or just seeing you smile I feel better.
You're a happy virus. You have a way with words and you're so completely amazing and I love you for it.
You showed me what feeling cared for is like. Something I only had from my Mom when I was younger.
It's kinda funny, because when I look down at my phone, and I smile or giggle the first thing my sister or Mom says is "Did (keeping your privacy uwu) text you?" And I immediately smile wider because they know that's what you are for me. Who you are to me.
Caring is a word I would use to describe you. Whether your writing your books and obsessing over the details, staying on the phone even when you want to hang up, cheering me up even when you're down you still care. When I said I used a song to sleep, but the clapping woke me up and it made me upset, you made an audio link without the clapping at the end just so I could rest easier. Because you're a caring person. No one has ever done something like that for me.
Insanely smart is another. Sometimes I can't understand what your saying because you are so smart but I try to anyway and you eventually dumb it down enough for me. But I love talking to you anyways. It's refreshing to talk to someone smarter than you are. And I enjoy it. Especially when you use big words, because it's fun looking then up.
Extremely adorable. You are extremely adorable. From that time when you called me because you needed emotional support killing the scary but in your dorm, to when you jam to your music I find it adorable.
Real. You're real to me. When life is down and I feel like I shouldn't be at the place I am, when I feel for other people and am so overwhelmed with feelings I turn to you. Because you remind me that I am real and it is happening, but I just have to be strong. Get through it. Because this is real life and it's going to be ok eventually. You remind me that there is more than what's happening in a single moment. That there is more to life then being sad and scared. That ti can live in the real world and still be ok. Even if you don't use that Mathis yourself.
Artistic. Through your writing, drawing, painting singing you do it all. I find myself amazed at the things you create and an always excited to see more. Through your art you can see a different side to you and I love it. I can see your passion and I can see your drive to be better and it makes me strive to better myself.
You make me better in every way and I can't thank you enough for it.
I love you my bby. Don't you ever forget it. 💜