Drill Sergeant Lovato

Part 1

I'm not sure why I did it. Most people have a significant reason for joining the Army. I could have gone to college, I could have just laid low for a few years and worked some part time jobs. But not me. I've never been the type to settle for the status quo. 

My name is Selena Russo. I'm 19, and I just recently graduated high school. All my other friends were going to prestigious schools, certainly the girl friends I had. But me? I decided to join the Army. It ended up changing my life, but not in the way you might think. 

In order to understand all this, we have to go back to the beginning. Not quite as far as the recruiter's office, though that would make an interesting story in itself. Girls like me were not very common in the military. I had no family in the military, and I had no childhood dreams of joining. It was a very spur of the moment decision. That's the kind I make most of the time. 

So instead we'll start with when I got to boot camp - the name that everyone knows it by - and the start of the most surprising change of my life. 

You see, I was always the girl that was commended for her fashion in high school, and all throughout school in general. This is reason number one that joining the Army was so strange sounding to all my friends. I was going to join an organization where it was dictated what I would wear at all times? Was I out of my mind? Well, maybe. 

So when I got to basic training and got issued my uniforms, it was like saying goodbye to all my life prior. When I learned I wouldn't be able to keep my hair down, that was yet another surprise. I'd always seen females in military movies with long hair. But this wouldn't be the first wake up call that the movies didn't know anything about the real military. 

You might say to yourself, didn't you have a hard time getting yelled at all the time when you got to basic training? Not really. I've kind of always subscribed to the idea that there's no point to be affected by someone yelling at you if you don't even care about them. So when all these 'drill sergeants' screamed and yelled at me, telling me to hurry up in everything I did, I followed their orders, but I wasn't emotionally affected. 

The beginning of basic training, most don't realize, isn't in training itself. It's this little couple days long place they call reception. It's not a very kind 'reception' if you ask me. But it didn't surprise me. 

At any rate, this place - reception- wasn't permanent, and neither were all the people here that yelled at you. They weren't 'real' drill sergeants, we learned pretty fast. Sure they'd completed the school or whatever, but they weren't going to be our drill sergeants. So that gave me even less reason to care about all their ranting and raving about everything. 

So, the day came when we actually left to go to basic. This was the part that Hollywood got right.  

We stood in 'formation', basically an organized group of rows directly behind each other, in a field underneath a tan tarp. This was where we were told we would 'meet' our real drill sergeants for the first time. 

I could tell looking around that the other kids here were terrified. I was nervous too, I'm not gonna lie. We were told our drill sergeants were watching us right then, when we couldn't even see them, so we better be on our best behavior, lest we give them a reason to hate us before we even got to the training company. All up to this point had been easy for me. We had to deal with not getting a lot of sleep, and occasionally being told to hurry up doing something, and we didn't get much time to eat, but it really wasn't that hard. 

That was all before I met her. Our drill sergeant. 

She walked over in front of our formation, scanning the rows. She had deep brown eyes, and I could tell her brown hair would have been gorgeous looking, had it not had to have been put up in a bun under that ghastly brown hat that all drill sergeants wore. The skin that was showing: her face and her hands, were all that was visible since she wore the jacket, pants, and boots that were customary uniform. She wore a slight smile as she walked up and down our ranks. It gave the impression that she was nice. 

Then she stopped in the center of the formation at the front. It just so happened that I was in this first row. I had been told of course that when you were standing in formation, you had to look straight ahead and couldn't make eye contact with anything other than straight in front of you. But I couldn't help but look at this woman. Honestly, she couldn't have been much older than me. She really didn't look it. 

She noticed me looking at her, and she stomped over in front of me. I noticed she glanced at my name tape - RUSSO - before looking at me. I tried to look straight ahead again, but when someone is right in front of you it's really hard not to look at them. Plus, it's really rude. 

"What are you looking at, Russo!?" She yelled at me. I felt her breath on my face she was so close. It didn't smell bad - she definitely took care of herself. 

Remember when I said I didn't have a hard time before this? Well, that's mainly because I rarely ever spoke, so I didn't have to worry about breaking any military customs or rules or anything like that. I wasn't quite the 'perfect' soldier I've made myself probably seem to be. 

"Nothing, ma'am!" I yelled back, and instantly felt like cringing. Ma'am was only an address to a female officer, not a drill sergeant. 

Her eyes turned fiery. "Are you blind, Russo? Maybe you should have gotten issued some glasses! Do I look like an officer to you?!" 

"N-no. Sorry." I stammered. She was intimidating. She wasn't even taller than me, really. But she had an air of authority. I guess that's why she was a drill sergeant. 

"Are you calling me sorry?" She bent over a little so her face was below mine, her eyes looked up at me. My eyes kept traveling to hers, instinctively. 

"No, drill sergeant!" I finally got it right. But I had a feeling I'd already messed up big time. 

She flashed me a fake smile, then continued pacing across the ranks. 

"From this day forward, you will no longer be treated with respect, until you earn respect! I don't care if you came in as a damn specialist, I will call you all privates, and that's being kind. That's suggesting that you're soldiers. But you are not soldiers! Some of you will be at the end of this 9 weeks! Some of you will not have what it takes!" She shouted at us. 

People were obviously intimidated by her voice. How could something so loud come out of someone basically my same size? 

"I am your drill sergeant. Drill Sergeant Lovato. But you will never refer to me by that name. You will call me drill sergeant, and only drill sergeant. Do you understand!?" 

A chorus of "Yes, drill sergeant!" followed. 

"Now, we always get one or two with this..." She started, pacing again. "Who here wants to go home? Who realizes that this might not be something they can handle?" She stopped in front of a guy a few columns down from me. "You look like you're about to piss yourself, private! Do you want to go home? Do you miss mommy and daddy?" Her voice changed to that of one talking to a baby. 

"N-no. Drill sergeant?" The guy answered. 

I was trying my hardest not to turn my head and watch this. Come on, everyone loves to watch someone else get yelled at, right? 

"Are you asking me or telling me, private?" She continued questioning the poor guy. 

"I... I don't know. Telling you... drill sergeant?" 

It was too much. My curiosity got the best of me. My eyes drifted to the right to where I could kind of watch this unfold. 

"Well, shit. It sounds an awful lot to me like you're still asking me. And if I recall, I'm supposed to be the one asking the-" She cut herself off. I saw her turn her head and notice me looking. 

Are you serious?! How the hell could she tell from that far away? There were at least 3 other people in between me and this guy she was yelling at. 

"Russo!" She made a sharp turn to her right and walked towards me.  

I returned my eyes forward. 

I could tell out of my peripheral vision that she stopped walking. She was just looking at me. 

What? 

Well, I wasn't gonna make the mistake of looking at her again. I thought I'd do the right thing and just keep staring straight ahead. 

"That's okay, Russo. Don't acknowledge me when I talk to you. I got your ass when we get across the tracks!" She shouted, then moved up in front of the whole 'platoon', which was all of us together like this. 

Across the tracks. That was a phrase we heard a lot during this whole reception thing. It meant once we actually started basic training, since the training site was across a railroad. 

Drill Sergeant Lovato (Henceforth DS Lovato) chuckled. "You know, I've trained my fair share of raggedy ass soldiers, but you guys... Oh boy, this is gonna be fun. I wish I could just stand here and shoot the shit with you all, you know, get to know you better and all that shit. But we got nine weeks for that." 

Nine weeks sounded so much longer when she said it. Everyone seemed to feel the same dread that I did when they heard that. It was a mutual feeling in the air. 

"So, on my command to fall out, you will all take your happy asses over to your gear - and you will move with a goddamn purpose - and you will secure that gear. Got it?" 

"Yes, drill sergeant!" I said, along with everyone else. 

"You all sound like you just woke up. You have no motivation! Sound the hell off when I address you!"  

"YES, DRILL SERGEANT!" I shouted as loud as I could. I thought overall it did sound a lot stronger, but I guess I was wrong because DS Lovato said, "That's alright, we'll fix that quick once we get across the tracks. FALL OUT!" 

I turned so fast I ran into the person next to me, as everyone seemed to. It was like suddenly a fire was set right by everyone and no one had any concern for their fellow man. A free for all. 

"Hurry up!!!" DS Lovato yelled at us. 

Can't you see we're running into each other? Obviously we're hurrying... 

Luckily I remembered where I put my stuff, because there were rows and rows of identical looking bags. Everything was in these green duffel bags. They had our names and information written on tags attached to them, but you couldn't read them unless you were really close. 

I ran to my stuff as fast as my legs could carry me, and when I got to my bags I was out of breath. These bags were designed so that you can wear one in front of your chest (they call that front-loading) and one on your back. That didn't mean they weren't still heavy as hell, though.  

I strapped one on my front, and then used the other one as a seat, so I could catch my breath for a moment. DS Lovato had, after all, not told us to move once we got our bags. Plus, I was pretty sure they said there would be buses that would take us to our training site. 

Once others saw me sitting on my other bag, they started to do the same thing. 

"OH, HELL NO!" We heard DS Lovato's voice. I looked and saw her running towards us. That probably wasn't a good sign.  

"If you are sitting on your ass right now, that is the wrong fucking answer!" She shouted. "You all are about to piss me the fuck off and I really don't think you want to do that this early on! Get off your asses and strap on your shit now! This is the Army, ladies and gentlemen! We do not 'chill out', or 'take a load off'!" 

I heard the sound of vehicles coming to a stop nearby. I glanced in the direction of the sound and saw the buses. They were... really far away. 

"Oh, look, privates! Your limo is here! You have... twenty seconds. To run to those buses and get on."  

Twenty seconds? I was thinking ten minutes might be a more appropriate time... Does she really think we can run that fast wearing all this stuff? 

Everyone, including me, seemed to be waiting for the order to move. 

"...NINETEEN....EIGHTEEN...SEVENTEEN..." DS Lovato started calling out. 

Oh shit!  

More mass chaos. People getting knocked over by people's bags, people jumping over said people that fell down... this was madness. 

I started out sprinting as fast as I could, which turned out to be a bad idea. I slowed down fast. 

"...THIRTEEN...TWELVE... ELEVEN..." 

I looked at a lot of people in front of me that had nearly made it to the bus already. What the hell? Were we all supposed to have run track in high school or something? I wasn't the only one that wouldn't make it, but I was the farthest one back. 

"SEVEN... SIX... FIVE..." 

I was still jogging, amazingly. But yeah, there was no way I was gonna make it. I was out of breath and my legs were stinging. 

Still a few others in front that hadn't made it either. 

"THREE... TWO... ONE..." 

I slowed down to a walk. There was no point in burning myself out. It was over. 

The bus was maybe a hundred feet in front of me now. The others that had been in front of me were stepping onto it. 

"Hey Russo." I could tell it was DS Lovato's voice, but she wasn't shouting. That was weird. 

I turned around in the direction of the voice and bent over, putting my hands on my knees. Still breathing really heavy. 

"You need some help with that?" She walked up to me, her eyebrows raised. 

"Uhh..." I strained. "No... drill sergeant." 

She smirked. "You sure about that?" 

What the hell was this? All of a sudden she turns nice? I was lost. 

"Yes... drill sergeant..." I said, still catching my breath. 

"You wanna go home, Russo?"  

"No, drill sergeant!" I muster up all my strength to shout it. 

She nods, and her smirk disappears. "Well then... Why the fuck are you still standing here?! Get your ass on that bus! NOW!" 

All of a sudden, the calm voice disappears, replaced with that deafening shout. Seriously, where did she get the lungs to shout like that? 

I'm already exhausted. I shouldn't be able to run. But somehow, I do. 

The bus ride over to our training site is the quietest ride I've ever experienced. People seem afraid to breathe too loud. I don't blame them. DS Lovato has quite the presence. 

She's just standing in the middle of the aisle of the bus. Everyone else is sitting down, clinging to their bags like they might blow away. 

I myself am too preoccupied thinking about what she looks like underneath that uniform. The Army Combat Uniform (ACU) is not the most flattering thing there is, so it's kinda hard to tell. It's baggy and loose. They say it's supposed to be like that, so that girls don't stick out from guys too much. If that's what they are trying to accomplish, they succeeded. 

But all it does for DS Lovato is make her beautiful brown eyes, full lips, and deep brown hair all the more apparent. Seriously, how did someone this hot become a drill sergeant? 

-

After the bus stopped, in front of the building we'd be staying in for the next nine weeks, DS Lovato started screaming immediately at everyone to hurry up and get off 'her' bus. I'm fairly sure it didn't actually belong to her. But I wasn't going to question it. 

After we all ran - always running, was this gonna be a regular thing? - to the 'drill pad' as we were told it was called, we all got in formation again. DS Lovato told us to empty all of our bags in front of us. 

Seriously, it took me like 3 hours to make all this stuff fit in these two bags the night prior, and now we have to dump it out? What was the point of that, exactly? 

We'd been issued a couple sets of different uniforms: the ACU and what they called 'PT's, which were the clothes we'd wear to run in and stuff in the mornings. They consisted of a gross gray colored shirt and some black sports shorts. If DS Lovato would also be wearing this, I might actually have a chance to see what she's got going on underneath the hood. 

The other thing in our bags, thankfully, were our 'civilian clothes'. Aka, the clothes everyone normally wears. I was grateful we got to keep them. 

We all stood in formation, with a little space in between each person so that everyone's stuff kinda didn't get mixed up. I would have used more space, personally, but I wasn't calling the shots. 

It was at that time, that DS Lovato crushed my hopes and dreams. 

"Listen up, privates! Everything you brought with you, minus things you use to wash your ass, that was not issued to you by the Army, will all be put into one of your bags. Do you understand?" Her voice was loud, but she wasn't shouting like she did back before we got here. 

We acknowledged her. 

"You have... sixty seconds. Go!" 

I finished barely in time. But it was better than that run to the bus, for sure. 

"I am now going to inspect each of your bags with all your Army issued uniforms in. If I see anything that does not meet the description I provided, there will be consequences. So! While I am inspecting others, if you are unsure whether or not something is allowed, it's probably safe to say that you're right, and you should remove it. Following?" 

"Yes, drill sergeant!" 

At first I thought I nailed the requirements. She said anything that was not issued or used to 'wash our ass', which I took as hygiene stuff. So I was pretty sure I was safe. 

But I wasn't. 

"What do we have here, Russo?" She said, once she had gotten to me. She was holding up my perfume. 

Oh no. What did I do... 

"My... perfume, drill sergeant." I addressed her. 

She walked to my side and leaned in so close her mouth practically touched my ear. "Do you use perfume in the shower, Russo?" 

"No, drill sergeant." 

"So then, why did you put it in this bag?" 

"I put perfume on after my shower, drill sergeant." I answered honestly. 

She backed away from me and started pacing the ranks. "Privates, did I say stuff that you wash your ass with and stuff you use afterwards?" 

"No, drill sergeant!" Everyone but me, said. 

"So then, Russo... Why is it that you are the only one in my platoon who put perfume in her bag?" She walked back over to me, right in my face. 

God, those lips... 

"I..." I stammered. I didn't actually know what she wanted to hear. 

"Trying to smell pretty for someone?" She asked. 

I realized I wasn't gonna win this battle. "I'll take it out and put it in my other bag, drill sergeant." 

"No, no. I have a better idea, Russo. I'll let you keep it, how's that sound?" She smiled, but it looked fake. 

"No, drill sergeant. I'll put it back-" 

"Yes, you'll keep it. Since you want to be an individual. Right? You don't want to blend in with everyone else?" 

I shook my head, but I think it was the wrong reaction. 

"So here's what you're gonna do. Every morning before physical training(PT), you will put on this perfume. Do I make myself clear?" 

Shit. What have I gotten myself into? 

"Yea...yes, drill sergeant..." I said, disheartened.  

"And then, at the end of PT, if I can still smell your perfume - meaning you didn't try your hardest and sweat enough - you and I will do some PT together until I can't smell that perfume anymore. How's that sound?" 

"Can I just put it in my civilian bag, drill sergeant?" I asked her, hoping against hope she'd say yes. 

"No can do, Perfume. You had the courage to be different than everyone else, and I respect that. So you will be expected to meet extra standards. You get me?" DS Lovato grinned. 

She was enjoying this. Also, it seemed she was gonna call me Perfume from now on. 

Well, this wasn't going well, so far. 

-

That evening, after we'd moved into our 'barracks', which was a glorified hallway with bunk beds on either side, DS Lovato told all of us girls (the males had another drill sergeant taking care of them in another building) to strip out of all our clothes and put a towel on. 

Now, I'd showered after gym class in high school sometimes with other girls, but they were mostly people I knew. Friends, and if not friends, at least people I saw on a semi-regular basis. So it wasn't that embarrassing. 

But stripping side by side with a girl I'd never met in my life prior to coming here, and having two more strangers on the other side of the hall facing us... that was a little uncomfortable. But I'd be damned if I was gonna stick out again like earlier, so I did it, fast. 

Once we were all clothed in nothing but a towel, DS Lovato came by each of our bunks to do what she said was called a 'head to toe'. A full examination of our body to make sure we didn't have any 'abnormalities' that the doctor back at the place we enlisted at missed. She said it was to ensure we were all healthy, so that no one had some excuse later on down the line as to why they weren't trying their hardest. In addition, she examined our fingernails and toenails. 

No one told me we couldn't wear nail polish, makeup, any of that stuff. Apparently I was the only one that didn't get that memo. 

"Perfume." She said, once she was in front of me. "Remove your towel and lift your arms parallel to the ground." 

Once I dropped my towel, she said "Turn one hundred eighty degrees." 

I did. This was kind of humiliating. My recruiter didn't tell me about this. But that would become a recurring theme in general. 

"Turn back around. Lift your arms in front of you, fingers extended and adjoined, palms facing down." 

She grabbed one of my hands once I had done this. "Oh, Perfume... still trying to be unique I see..." 

I gulped. "What did I do, drill sergeant?" 

"What's this?" She held my hand up in front of me. 

"I... don't see what you're referring to... drill sergeant." 

"This shit on your fingernails." She looked down at my feet. "And it's on your toes, too!" 

"My nail polish, drill sergeant?" I asked, seeing that she was clearly wearing some herself. 

"Bingo. Why do you have this in my barracks?" 

"I didn't think it -" 

"Good for you, Perfume. Thinking is overrated, isn't it?" DS Lovato cut me off. She continued looking me over, which was kind of creepy. "Well you've certainly made a lasting first impression on me." She turned around. "Listen up, ladies! Private Russo here has made it clear to me that she believes this is her Army, and that she will do whatever the fuck she wants to!" She walked down the line to the next bunk. "Well that's fine. Just remember, you all are only as strong as your weakest link. And your weakest link right now is Perfume, here. I'd suggest you square her away before she gets all of you on my bad side." 

Once DS Lovato was done inspecting everyone, we all lined up single file in front of the bathroom - err, the latrine, as we were supposed to call it - to take our showers. It was ridiculous. We got 60 seconds each, with 6 of us at a time, to go in the shower. The water was left running the whole time. Girls simply walked under it, carrying their shampoo and soap, and washed themselves as quickly as possible. DS Lovato would call out 'Thirty seconds!' when we were halfway 'done', which we had to echo back, "Thirty seconds, drill sergeant!'. 

Later on, once she'd finally left us alone, it was about 9:30pm. We were gonna have to be downstairs on the drill pad at 5:30am. I thought this meant I could wake up about 5:20, but I was wrong apparently. 

"You weren't listening, earlier?" My bunkmate, whose name was Sanders, asked me. She was in the top bunk above me. 

"You mean in between DS Lovato yelling at me constantly? No, I guess not..." I admitted. 

"We have to be downstairs at 5:30, but our beds have to be perfectly made, and this whole room has to be spotless. She's gonna inspect it after we go downstairs." Sanders said. 

"Well, it doesn't look that bad, right? Seems pretty clean to me... So we shouldn't have to do that much, right?" 

"You don't understand how the Army works, do you, Russo?" Sanders chuckled. "Even if it's already clean, we still have to clean it anyway. It's for like, discipline purposes." 

I sighed. "So what time are you gonna wake up, then?" 

"I dunno. Tomorrow is like our first real day, so I don't wanna get in any trouble. I'm gonna wake up at 4:30." 

"4:30!? It's almost 10 already, now!" I shouted. 

"SHHHH!" Some girl across the walkway hushed me. 

"Then we better get to sleep, huh?" Sanders suggested. 

I groaned. This whole joining the Army thing might have been a bad choice, in retrospect...

-

I heard Sander's alarm go off at 4:30, and I rolled over. I set mine for 5. That was as much as I was gonna budge. But in the next ten minutes, I heard others stirring and waking up. Soon after that, some jackass turned on the light, and then it was impossible to go back to sleep. 

I sat up and yawned. Sanders was already dressed and making her bed, it looked like. 

I saw some girl come down the walkway with a broom, also fully dressed. These girls were insane. Was I the only one around here that was tired or something? 

I wanted nothing more than for someone to turn out the light so I could go back to sleep. 

While I was contemplating this, still sitting upright on my bed, the front door to our barracks opened. 

Someone called 'At ease!', and I knew then who it was. DS Lovato. 

I thought she was gonna inspect our barracks at 5:30? 

I heard her boots methodically click on the floor as she walked down the walkway. I saw Sanders standing up with her hands behind her back and then remembered that's what I was supposed to do when someone called 'at ease'. 

I scrambled out of my bunk and assumed the same position. 

"Is that how it works, Perfume?" I heard her ask. What the hell? I couldn't even see her, how did she see me? "At ease means you just take your sweet fucking time, and get out of bed when you're ready?" 

Then, something amazing happened. She sped up her walk and stopped in front of Sanders, and began yelling at her. 

"Sanders! Is this how you help your battle buddy out? You just let her stay in her bed and get in trouble?" 

"No, drill sergeant!" Sanders called back. 

"Do pushups." DS Lovato told her. 

Sanders immediately flung herself to the ground and started doing them. "One, drill sergeant! Two, drill sergeant..." 

DS Lovato walked over to me. "As for you, Perfume. We're gonna have fun together, aren't we? Not even been in my barracks for a day and I can recall three occasions so far that you've fucked up. That has got to be a record!" 

"I'm trying, drill sergeant." I said to her. 

"Awww, you're trying? Do you want a pat on the head? Should I commend you?!" Her face was so close to mine I could feel her breath. 

When I didn't say anything, 'cause I really didn't know what to say to that, she continued, "This is the United States Army, Russo. This is not playtime! This is not 'everyone gets a ribbon for trying'! This is execute the orders you are given, or get the fuck out of my Army! Do you understand me?!" 

My eyes widened. "Y-yes, drill sergeant." 

She shook her head and smiled. "This is going to be a long nine weeks for you and I, isn't it?" 

"No, drill sergeant!" I tried to muster up all the volume I was capable of at 5am. 

"Hm." She walked away. "Get up, Sanders." She told her. 

Sanders had been doing pushups this whole time. 

"Yes, drill sergeant." She answered. 

"This barracks looks like wet garbage, ladies!" DS Lovato shouted, as she continued walking down the aisle. "But that's fine, we'll fix that in due time. Don't bother cleaning it, because obviously you don't think it needs it! But I think you'll find when you come back from PT, it's gonna need some cleaning." 

I heard the door open and close at the other end of the barracks. She was gone, for the time being. 

"I'm sorry, Sanders." I immediately apologized. 

She just glared at me. 

I was making friends already.

CHAPTER 2

Thirty minutes later after DS Lovato's outburst in the barracks about it not being clean, we all stood in formation downstairs. God, it was so early! It wasn't even 6am yet. Most of my friends back home would still be asleep right now; hell, most people I knew in general were still asleep right now. 

There was another drill sergeant in front of our formation for the time being, since DS Lovato was upstairs in the barracks 'inspecting' it. This one seemed laid back in comparison to her. It was a male drill sergeant, I forgot his name though. 

Unfortunately, I was the only one in the formation wearing perfume, and I immediately felt out of place because of it. I heard other girls commenting about it, and guys too. But everyone remembered the exchange I'd had with DS Lovato last night about it. Sanders had told me I shouldn't have put so much on, but I wanted DS Lovato to be able to tell I had it on, since she'd made that part clear last night. 

Sooner than I would have liked, we were all running down the street, still in an organized formation, with DS Lovato to the left of all of us, shouting at us as we ran. 

"Today I'm going to see what I have to work with! I'd strongly advise that none of you fall out of this run!" 

Falling out of a run meant you couldn't keep up with everyone else, which was already happening to me, and we hadn't even really been running that long. It was still dark outside for chrissakes, how could you not be tired when you realized that?  

By the time we reached the end of that first street we had turned onto from the barracks area, I was done. My legs were on fire, and I could hardly breathe. This was an accomplishment for me - I'd never continuously ran this far in my life. 

But then, instead of turning around to go back, we turned right and started running down the next street. This destroyed my motivation to keep running - what was the point? I wasn't gonna make it anyway. 

Slowly at first, then swiftly, people started passing me and I started slowing down and just letting them. 

"Oh, look here, privates! We have our first victim of THS! Do you know what THS stands for?!" DS Lovato barked at everyone. 

When no one answered, she said, "Tiny heart syndrome! Someone with a weak will and no motivation to keep going, even though everyone else is!"  

I guessed she was talking about me, but she couldn't be more wrong. I was trying, I'd made it this far hadn't I? 

"Drill Sergeant Carter, you take this formation, I'll motivate our fallout here." She called to another woman in the front of the formation.  

Soon she had taken DS Lovato's position, and I saw her slow up to keep time with me. Well, that was nice of her, I thought. 

And in case you were wondering, she also wore the same uniform we were: the gray shirt and black shorts. Her hair wasn't hidden by the brown hat like it was in our other uniform. Once she was right next to me I couldn't help but admire her. I never would have guessed the figure she actually had because the other uniform hid it so well.  

"Why did you join the Army, Perfume?" She asked me as we ran side by side. 

I took a moment to collect enough energy to answer her. "I don't know, drill sergeant. I thought..." I breathed heavily a few times, "...that it would be good for me." 

"Do you regret it so far?" 

I noticed she was looking at me as she spoke, so I tried my best to do the same. "N-no... drill sergeant." 

"Listen, you might not think I like you, but I like all of my trainees. I don't want any of you to fail. Do you understand that?" Her tone was now much closer to how it had been yesterday when she talked to me when I'd stopped running to the buses with all my gear. 

It blew my mind, because yes I did think that she didn't like me, based on all the times she yelled at me so far. 

"That's... good to hear, drill sergeant..." I said, then slowed my running pace even more. Every step was agony at this point. I saw the rest of my platoon much further ahead now, and I felt like a failure. Why was I the only one that was having such a hard time with this? 

She slowed up too, to stay side by side with me. "I think you have what it takes somewhere in there, Russo." 

She was pointing at my chest, I saw. 

"We just have to dig it out. If you give me 110% always, you will get there." Her eyes showed genuine concern. 

I wanted to smile, because it seemed like this was her being nice to me, but I didn't know if it was appropriate. 

"I always have one like you. Someone that doesn't seem to 'get it' from the start. But that's my favorite type of person to train, you know why?" She asked. 

I shook my head. Talking at this point was becoming a chore because of how out of breath I was. 

"They become the best soldiers, once everything clicks. They have a lot more pride in themselves, because they accomplished something they never thought they could." 

I slowed down even more, nodding. 

She put her hand on my back and pushed me forward. "You would not believe the capacity we have to run as human beings, Russo. We give up on ourselves long before we've actually reached our physical limit. Keep running." 

I sped up a little, mostly because I liked this nice said of DS Lovato, and wanted to impress her. But my legs were definitely shot. My sides were hurting now, in addition to my legs. 

"See? Look at that. You're still running. You've got this. We're almost back." She smiled. For the first time, that was an actual genuine smile. It didn't look fake like it did when she was being condescending to people. 

"Thanks... drill sergeant..." I breathed. 

I guess she realized her smile, because she cleared her throat and put the stoic look back on. "Don't misunderstand me. I'm going to be extra hard on you because I know you have what it takes in there somewhere. So don't think we're buddies now or something. Got it?" 

I nodded. "I... understand..." 

"And I can still smell your perfume and we're almost done. So you know what that means, right?" 

I had completely forgotten about that rule whilst running. I was so focused on just putting one leg in front of the other, and paying attention to what she'd been telling me. Couldn't she tell I was trying my hardest, though? Was it even possible for me to sweat enough to completely cover my perfume? 

We turned another corner and I could see our barracks not far in the distance. Impossibly, I started running faster. Maybe if I totally drained myself on this last stretch I could sweat enough. 

She sped up too, of course. "Oh, so now that you see the finish line you can run faster, huh? You know what that tells me? It tells me you actually haven't been giving this your all the whole time!" 

Shit, maybe that was a mistake... 

"No... drill sergeant... I have... I just want to... finish..." I barely managed. 

She didn't respond to this. The remaining distance back was in silence, until we turned into the barracks and ran up to the drill pad. 

"Go form up with everyone else. Tonight at the end of training at 2000 be in this uniform outside my office." 

"Yes, drill sergeant..." I said, and groaned.  

"What, did you think you were gonna get special treatment and miss out on training during the day because you can't run?" She seemed to answer my thoughts. "Go form up." 

I fell in next to Sanders. As soon as I stopped my vision was blurry and I felt dizzy. 

"How'd it go?" She asked me. 

"Not good. I have to do PT with her tonight after we're done with everything else..." I answered. 

She made a face. "Ouch. That sucks." 

"Yeah... tell me about it."

-

Our 'training', at least for the first few days we were told, was going to be a lot of classes on various things, do's and don'ts of the military and whatnot. Which translates to a bunch of people that are tired as hell sitting in a bunch of folding chairs in an auditorium, forced to try to stay awake and pay attention to endless powerpoint presentations on a projector screen. It didn't take long before people started dozing off, and subsequently woken up by drill sergeants and taken to the back of the auditorium to do pushups so they could stay awake. 

I was not trying to be one of those people, especially after DS Lovato had given me that sort of 'pep talk' this morning during the run. I wanted to impress her from here on out. I wasn't gonna fuck up anymore. From this moment forward - 

"Russo!" 

I was jarred awake. Ah, hell I dozed off while I was thinking about not dozing off! 

"Humm...hmmm?" Was all I managed to spit out. 

And... it was DS Lovato, too. Good going, Selena. You managed to hold true to your promise for about 5 minutes before you screwed up again. 

"Morning, princess! Did you have a good rest? Come here!" DS Lovato stood by the aisle, hands on her hips, beckoning me. 

I groaned, and slowly got up. 

"Today, Russo!" She barked. 

I moved as quickly as I could, stepping around other people in my row. 

When I arrived at the aisle, she put a hand on my back and pushed me forward, so that I was walking in front of her. 

When we reached the back of the auditorium I saw a bunch of other people back here. My fellow trainees that couldn't stay awake, either. They were all doing various exercises, with a drill sergeant supervising them. Jesus, how many drill sergeants were there? It was like every time I looked there were more. 

"Stop." DS Lovato said once I got to a certain spot. "About face." 

Oh man, I was terrible at this 'about face' thing. I put my right foot behind my left ankle and attempted to mimic what I'd seen others do before. It was a colossal failure, I almost tripped over myself, and had to throw my hands out in front of me to keep my balance once I spun around. 

"Jesus, Russo, you have about as much grace as a goddamn elephant in a china shop." She said, and I told tell a smile played on her lips. She wasn't yelling, either. Which is something I found strange. 

"I will practice it, drill sergeant." I said, trying not to laugh at my own failure. 

"We'll get you squared away, don't worry. Now. Lay down on your back." 

That wasn't how you did a pushup... What was I going to have to do? 

I did as she said, before she told me what to do next. "Now, lift your legs up, feet together, six inches off the ground." 

How the hell was I supposed to know what six inches was? 

"Higher... there. Stop, hold it right there." DS Lovato said. She squatted down to my right side near where my legs were raised. Since we were inside, she wasn't wearing the brown hat and I could see her beautiful brown hair. Despite being up in a bun behind her head, it still had a nice shine to it. I was really curious to see what her hair looked like just normal, when she wasn't in uniform. 

"So, here's what we're gonna do. Since you can't stay awake during these classes, we're gonna do a few exercises until you think you can. Got it?" Her voice was so quiet, barely above a whisper. But then, I noticed all the other people back here weren't making a lot of noise either. I guess it was so we didn't disturb the class. 

"Yes, drill sergeant." I responded in the same volume. 

"So the first thing we're gonna do is what you're doing now. If you can keep your legs raised for a full minute, we'll move on to the next exercise." 

Psh. A minute? That sounded easy. 

"Starting... now." She announced, looking at her watch. 

Wait a second, I had had my legs raised that whole time. It had to have been a minute already when she was talking to me. I realized this as my legs started to shake a little. It was a little embarrassing and pathetic looking, to be honest. But I couldn't stop them from quivering. 

"How much... longer?" I asked. 

"Well, since you asked, we'll start the clock over. 60 seconds." 

What? How was that fair?! 

"Rule number one, Russo. Never ask questions. Just do what you're told." She added.. 

My legs began to shake even more now. I was breathing heavily, and I felt my face grow hot, straining to keep my legs from falling. I tried not to focus on how much time I had left. 

"Relax." She told me, after what seemed like forever. 

I let out a long sigh of relief and let them drop. It felt so good. 

"Alright. You know how to do a crunch, Russo?" 

"I... think so, drill sergeant?"  

"Show me." 

I lifted my legs up and crossed them, and put my hands behind my head. "Like... this?" 

"Tuck your knees further up so your legs form a 90 degree angle." She corrected me. 

I did what she asked. "Now," She continued, "same thing, except crunches for 60 seconds." 

I could do these all day. Crunches were easy. I'd rather do these than run any day of the week. 

"I take it you're good at situps?" She asked me. 

"Yes, drill sergeant." I said as I did them. 

"Well then, this is a waste of time. Recover." 

Recover meant to stand up, I'd learned.  

"Push ups, drill sergeant?" I asked, reluctantly. 

"Do you want to do pushups? Cause I can hook you up, if so..." She grinned. 

"Uhhh... no. Not really, no." 

"Do you think you can stay awake now?" 

"Yes, drill sergeant. I can." 

"You better. If I have to wake you up again it's not gonna be pretty. We'll stay back here until the end of class if we have to." 

"That's okay... I'll stay awake, drill sergeant." 

"Good girl. Now, go back to your seat." 

I was noticing a trend now, with her. In public, when others could see her, she yelled at me like everyone else. But in private, like this morning on the run, and just now... She seemed a lot more casual. Was she like this with everyone?

-

A few hours later, during lunch 'chow', one of the girls I was sitting with (you don't choose who you sit with, it's whoever is in front of you and behind you in line) asked me about what DS Lovato had been making me do. It appeared everyone noticed that I was spending a lot of one on one time with her. 

"Damn, Russo, you've hardly done anything with the rest of us so far. It's like she's your private slave driver or something..." She laughed. Her name was River, according to her name tape on her uniform. 

"I don't know, she's really mean to me when I'm with everyone else, but when she takes me to the side she's actually kind of... nice." I admitted. 

"I don't see how that's possible..." Another girl at our small table, Reed, said. "She's such a bitch." 

I looked over at the drill sergeant table, which was across the dining facility (DFAC). DS Lovato was laughing and talking to another drill sergeant at the table. She had a great laugh, I noticed. I hadn't heard her laugh really, which I guess was to be expected. 

"I think she might be a softy at heart." I said. 

Just then, when I went to look at her again I saw her get up and start walking to our table. Uh oh. 

"Well, you girls seem to be having a good time over here..." She said as she walked up. "What are you talking about?" 

"O-oh, we were just talking about - " River started to say. 

"The only correct answer is you were talking about nothing. Aka, the only time your mouths are moving is when you're eating. This isn't social hour. This is get in, eat your food, and get out. You get me?" She stared River down. 

"Yes, drill sergeant." 

DS Lovato looked down at River's plate, which she'd barely touched so far. "And it looks like you're not that hungry, because you've barely eaten anything. So you know what? Grab your shit and get out of my DFAC." 

"I uh -" River started. 

"FIVE...FOUR... THREE..." 

River scrambled up and grabbed her tray. 

DS Lovato looked at me and Reed. "Oh, you think you two are special or something? You were all talking, I saw you from my table. So get out." 

I nodded and collected my tray quickly. I had eaten more than River had, but I was still planning on eating the rest of it. This sucked. 

Once we were outside of the DFAC, Reed chuckled, "Yeah, Russo. She's a real softy, alright..."

-

The rest of the afternoon was more classes. Death by powerpoint, I'd heard some people call it. You'd think after I got caught falling asleep in the morning that it'd be easy for me to stay awake now, right? Wrong. Since we'd just eaten lunch (well, granted I hadn't actually eaten that much), sitting down in these chairs again did nothing other than make everyone feel tired and ready to take a nap. 

But I was determined this time. I didn't want to push my luck with DS Lovato. Maybe she wasn't being that nice and I was just blinded by the fact that she was so attractive. Whatever the case, I didn't want to get in trouble with her again. I told Sanders, who was sitting next to me, to hit me if she saw me start to fall asleep. 

She ended up having to do it quite a few times, but it worked. I didn't get yelled at, and I didn't fall asleep. I looked at my watch at the end of class. It was almost time to go eat dinner. Then after that we'd be done for the day. Well, everyone else would. I still had to do PT with DS Lovato at 8pm. 

When we ate dinner, no one made the same mistake we had at lunch and tried to talk, we just ate quietly and left when we were done. We only got about 10 minutes to eat anyway, so DS Lovato had been right after all. We didn't have time to socialize, we barely had enough time to finish everything as it was. 

I still looked over at her table though, in spite of myself. I watched her smile and laugh with the other drill sergeants. What is it with you? I wondered. What makes you tick?

-

We got 'released' for the day at around 7:30pm. Which gave me exactly half an hour to myself before I had to be in front of DS Lovato's office. Let me tell you, when your entire day is regulated to the tee, and you get 30 minutes to yourself? You relish it. It seems like anything is possible in that short amount of time. I changed into my PT uniform as quickly as I could so I could enjoy this time. 

I was laying in my bunk, and Sanders was above me doing the same.  

"So, you excited for your PT with the witch?" Sanders asked me. 

It seemed I was the only girl in our platoon who noticed DS Lovato was an actual person and she wasn't mean all the time for no reason. But then again, not everyone had screwed up as much as I had and got the personal attention from her that I had. She told me not to feel like we were buddies this morning, but in all honesty I couldn't help but kind of feel that way. I think she just told me that because she had to, as a drill sergeant. She wasn't supposed to be friendly with her trainees, but for some reason with me she was. 

"Oh yeah. Loads." I replied with a chuckle. 

"You seem in pretty good spirits about it. You don't hate life right now?" 

I thought about that question. Yes, today was pretty shitty overall. I had to wake up early, I almost died running this morning, I fell asleep in classes and got in trouble, I got yelled at at lunch... But at the same time, it all wasn't so bad. When I thought about why that was, DS Lovato's face came to mind. If I had gotten anyone else as a drill sergeant, I probably would hate life right now. 

"It could be worse." I said to her. "It's really not as bad as I thought it would be." 

"Girl, you crazy." Sanders laughed. "If I had my drill sergeant up my ass as much as DS Lovato is up yours on the first day, I'd be crying right now." 

"You won't have to worry about it, Sanders. You know all the rules and you can run well. You'll be fine." I assured her. "Well, I'm gonna go to her office. I don't wanna be late, after the day I've had." 

"Good luck, girl." 

I walked up to DS Lovato's office and stood by the side of the door, with my hands behind my back. 

I saw the light was on, so I knocked. "Private Russo reporting for PT, drill sergeant." 

"Come in, perfume." I heard her say. 

I kinda liked that she had a nickname for me. Granted, it was because of yet another one of my screw ups thus far, but still... 

I opened the door, stepped in, and closed it behind me. Then I nearly lost my breath. 

DS Lovato was no longer in uniform; she was wearing a regular black t shirt and some matching black shorts. Her thighs looked incredible in those shorts. 

Her hair was completely let down; it reached slightly past her shoulders, and she had bangs that stopped right before her chocolate eyes. She had a light pink lipstick on, and I could tell she was wearing some matching blush. Simply put, she looked like she had transformed into some sort of goddess. Was this the same person who was in uniform not even half an hour ago? 

Conversely, I must have looked like a train wreck. I was not wearing any sort of makeup whatsoever, my hair was still in a bun, and I hadn't taken a shower yet because I figured it was pointless if I was gonna do some PT. Did she plan this? Was she trying to show me how much better she looked than me? 

"I...uhh..." I stammered. I wasn't expecting her to be in civilian clothes, so she caught me completely off guard. "I mean... I'm here for PT, drill sergeant." I snapped my hands behind my back again. 

She chuckled. "Relax, Russo." 

My eyes darted around the room, trying to find something else besides her to look at. Because quite frankly, it was hard not to stare. 

"Let me guess, you thought I wore ACUs all the time, right? I'm a drill sergeant, so I have no life outside of the military. Am I close?" She asked me. 

"I... I don't know, drill sergeant." 

"Russo, you're in off duty hours now. I don't care if you call me drill sergeant or not." She pushed a chair that was next to her desk towards me. "And for god's sake, sit down." 

I nodded nervously and took a seat. What was going on? This didn't look like we were gonna be doing PT... Not that I minded of course, I really wasn't looking forward to that anyway. 

"I... I don't know what else to call you, drill sergeant." Which was true. She had said the first day that we were to call her nothing but 'drill sergeant' at all times. 

"What's your first name, Russo?" 

"Uhh... Selena, drill sergeant." It felt so weird to use my first name. I'd only been 'in' the Army for about 2 weeks now, but no one had called me Selena since before I left home. 

"Selena." She repeated. It sounded great to hear her say my first name. "That's a pretty name. You want to know my first name?" 

I gulped. "Is that a... trick question?" 

She laughed. There was that laugh I heard in the DFAC earlier. A genuine, adorable laugh. 

"No, it's not. If you want to know it so you have something to call me other than drill sergeant, I'll tell you." 

I was pretty sure this was breaking the rules. It felt so awkward. I mean, I'd only been in basic training for 2 days now, and she was already telling me her first name? As a matter of fact, due to the fact that I hadn't fallen asleep in classes this afternoon I remembered there was a specific rule that privates and non-commissioned officers (aka drill sergeants) were not to fraternize. So what was she doing? 

"O-okay. What's your first name?" I played along.  

"Devonne." 

It might sound weird, but when you're conditioned to call people by last name for a certain amount of time, calling someone by their first name feels very strange. 

"That's a pretty name, too." I said. It was. It suited her. She didn't look like a Drill Sergeant Lovato right now, she looked like a Devonne. 

"So, try it out." She said. "Call me by my real name." 

"Devonne..." I repeated. 

"Good. So..." She uncrossed her legs and leaned forward in her chair. "As you might have guessed, I'm not exactly dressed for PT." 

As she said this, I again couldn't help my eyes from exploring her gorgeous figure, and then simultaneously remembering how un-gorgeous mine was in comparison. "Y-yeah, I noticed..." 

"To be honest, I'm pretty tired. I don't really feel like doing PT right now." She continued. 

"Well, I didn't think you would be doing it anyway...? I thought I was the one that was gonna be doing it, you were just gonna tell me what to do." I guessed. 

"How are you supposed to improve, if you don't know how to do the exercises properly, Selena? Of course I would do them with you. But like I said, tonight I'm not really in the mood. Is that okay with you?"  

It was dangerous territory when a drill sergeant asked you a question like that. They were almost always rhetorical questions that you weren't supposed to answer. But I guessed, like she said, she wasn't a drill sergeant right now. She was just... Devonne. 

"Uh, sure. That's fine with me..." I laughed, a bit nervously. 

"You need to relax." She told me. "Let me guess, you're like 18 or 19, right?" 

"Yes." 

She chuckled. "Which one?" 

I felt like an idiot. "Oh, sorry... Um, I'm 18." 

"How old do you think I am?" 

"I dunno... since you're a high rank probably late 20's?"  

She scoffed. "Selena! Are you serious? You think I look like I'm in my late twenties? Goddamn..." 

"Well... n-no... you don't look that old, I just assumed cause of your rank...?" I backpedaled. 

"I am 22, thank you very much." She looked offended. 

Not that much older than I was... that was surprising. She had the presence of someone that was much older than all of us. 

"Oh, okay. Sorry, like I said I was just assuming you were older cause of like... how you are." 

She folded her arms. "What is that supposed to mean?" 

"You know... how you... yell at us and stuff?" 

"When I am in uniform, I am expected to be that person that ' yells and you and stuff'." She made quote marks with her fingers. "But a drill sergeant's job is not to just yell at everyone for no reason. It's to turn young men and women from civilians into soldiers. There is a lot of discipline that you need to have as a soldier. It's my job to instill that discipline in you. So remember this, when I'm 'yelling' at you, it's because I care. It's because I want to see you all succeed." 

It sounded like it made sense to me. "Oh, okay. I can see that, I guess." 

"And like I told you this morning, I love training people like you, because I love to see when you finally get it. You don't have to change into someone who never feels emotions or is brainwashed like everyone thinks is what happens in basic training. Do you know that?" She looked at me, and her eyes showed something for the first time that I hadn't seen yet: compassion. She really did care. 

"I...do now." I said. 

"Good." She turned her chair around and got a bottle of water from her desk and handed it to me.  

I took it, but I was a little confused as to why she gave it to me. 

"What I want to do with you, in this time each night, if you are willing to learn, is help you one on one and give you some personal attention. It might be PT, it might be just talking like tonight. Depends how tired I am. Does that sound good to you?" She asked, a slight smile on her face. 

"Yes, that sounds great. Thank you. It means a lot." I smiled back. 

"Now, take that water and put some around your neck and your armpits. Make it look like we actually did something in here." She grinned. 

Oh, so that's what the water was for. 

I took the cap off and poured some on my hands and wiped it across the neckline of my shirt. 

She shook her head and chuckled. "No one is gonna believe that that is real, it looks too perfect. Here, let me see that water. I'll help you out." 

I handed it to her and she got up and bent over next to me. I couldn't help stare down her shirt at her cleavage. Was she doing this on purpose? 

She took the water and poured a little down my neck into my shirt, and rubbed it around with her hand.  

"Lift your arms up." She told me. 

I did, and she patted some in my armpits. 

"There, now you look like you just did some PT. Now go run and take a shower before anyone realizes you don't actually smell like sweat."  

I got up and looked at my shirt. Wow, was this what she really wanted me to look like after we got done in here? The whole top half of my shirt was dark with the water. 

I went to open the door and she stopped me. "Oh and Selena?" 

"Hm?" 

"Make sure you keep wearing perfume to PT, or I won't have a valid reason to have you in here at the end of the day." 

I smiled and nodded. "Of course." 

"When you open that door, I'm gonna put on my drill sergeant voice and yell at you, so this doesn't look too suspicious." She said. 

"Got it." 

I opened the door and walked out, trying not to smile. 

"RUSSO! HURRY UP AND GET YOUR ASS IN THAT SHOWER!" I heard her roar from behind me. 

God, how did she get her voice to do that?

-

After my shower, I changed into some different PT clothes, and got ready to go to sleep. Well, today had definitely been an interesting first day. I'd gotten yelled at a lot, and I'd made my drill sergeant's personal list. 

I closed my eyes. Drill Sergeant Lovato.  

Devonne.

CHAPTER 3

The next day went much the same as the first, overall. We didn't run for PT, which I was really happy about; we just focused on pushups and situps. We were told every other day would be running, so our muscles had time to heal between one day and the next. I was fine with that, though that still meant I'd have to deal with running (or maybe a better description would be miserably failing at running) 3 times a week.  

I think I actually did sweat enough to cover up my perfume this time, but DS Lovato still insisted I didn't. I guess she wasn't expecting me to pass the test and actually give my all on the second day. 

When we got done with PT and headed up to the barracks to shower and get ready for the day, I noticed my living area was destroyed. My locker door was open, all of my uniforms and everything in my drawers were dumped on the floor in front of Sanders and my bunk, and my bed mattress was actually flipped over upside down and partly hanging off the bed frame. 

"What the hell?" I voiced my thoughts as I neared it with Sanders. Her bunk didn't look like mine, but a few other girls in the room had the same disaster to come back to. 

Upon closer inspection, I realized the combination lock that had been on my locker was missing. 

"Did you lock your locker before PT?" Sanders asked me after I told her about it. 

"I don't remember, I think so!" I said, trying to remember if I actually had. 

"Obviously not. You don't remember what DS Lovato said about unsecure lockers?" She asked. 

"No....?" 

"Well, you're seeing it now. If you leave your locker unlocked, she said she would dump all your stuff in order to train you to always keep it locked and secured." Sanders sounded like she was reciting something out of a rule book. 

"How do you remember all this shit?" I asked her, incredulously. "I was here the same time you were, how come I didn't hear any of this?" 

She shrugged. "Maybe you weren't listening." 

"Damn, this is gonna take like all my time to shower and everything just to fix this and make my bed again!" I complained, looking at the mess. 

"I think that's the idea, Russo." The girl across the aisle from me said. 

"So I don't get to shower? That's bullshit!" 

"Welcome to boot camp." The girl said with a grin. 

How could DS Lovato do this to me? After that nice talk we'd had last night, the very next morning she was already ruining my life again. 

Just then the front door to the barracks opened, followed by someone yelling 'At ease!'. 

"Carry on, privates." DS Lovato's voice. 

Oooh I had a bone to pick with her...! 

"If you came back to your AO (area of operations) being trashed, and you realize your lock is no longer on your locker, come up to the front and see me." She said. 

I practically stomped my way up there. It was me and 4 other girls. 

"Let's see..." DS Lovato pulled out 4 locks from her pocket. One by one she looked at them, calling out each one of our names. 

"What's the first number to your combination?" She asked the first girl. 

"16, drill sergeant." The girl replied. 

"Do 16 pushups and you can have your lock back." DS Lovato explained. 

The girl got down and started doing them. One by one she went to each of us and whatever the first number was that's how many pushups we had to do. 

As luck would have it, I was the only one where the first number of my combination was high. 

"Ahh, Perfume. We meet again." She said to me. "What's the first number of your combination?" 

I looked toward the ground. "38, drill sergeant..." 

"I'm sorry, I don't think the ground asked you what your number was!" Her voice raised. 

I looked at her in the eyes, and I couldn't help but think what a traitor she was. After talking all sweet to me last night, and now this? What was the point? What was her angle? 

"Thirty-eight, drill sergeant." I said again. 

She just stared at me for a second, then. "Well? You see your battle buddies doing pushups, you didn't figure out you'd have to do them too?" 

"But their numbers-" I started to say. 

"Oh, you wanna talk back to me, Russo? Double that number. Get the fuck down." 

I didn't turn around to see, but I could just feel I was the center of everyone's attention right now. It was always fun to watch someone else get in trouble, wasn't it? 

I slowly lowered myself to the ground. This sucked. How in the hell was I gonna do whatever 38 times 2 was? 76? Was she fucking high? 

"That's right, take your time, Russo. Cause as I see it, it's 7:50 right now, and you have to be downstairs for formation at 8:15. And mark my words, you will not leave my barracks with your AO looking like dog shit, so if you wanna get all that done, I'd suggest you start fucking pushing now." DS Lovato's eyes had that same fire they had the first day I met her. 

I couldn't even do twenty pushups. I made it to 17 and my arms started shaking. At 19 I collapsed on the ground, my arms weren't working properly anymore. 

I looked up at DS Lovato, who had her arms crossed and was looking down at me. "Oh, did your combination number magically change to 19, Russo? Did a miracle just happen and I missed it?" 

"No... drill sergeant." I breathed. 

She looked at her watch. "You've got twenty minutes till formation. I think maybe you should stop playing around and finish doing your pushups, don't you?" 

"I...can't... drill sergeant..." 

"You WHAT?!" 

That definitely got the room's attention, if nothing else did. 

"I... I can't do... anymore... drill sergeant..." 

"If you're trying to get sympathy, Russo, you're looking in the wrong place. My sympathy button broke a long time ago." (*Author Note: One of the best lines I ever heard in basic training) 

She was sadistic. It was like she was ten times worse today than she was yesterday. She had told me she was gonna be harder on me, but wasn't this a little extreme? 

If we hadn't just done a million pushups for PT, maybe I would have been able to do more. But we had, and I could barely lift myself off the ground. I was struggling with every fiber of my being, but my muscles just kept saying no. 

After another minute of this: me trying to lift myself and falling back down to the ground, I heard DS Lovato say, "Listen up, privates! Your battle buddy up here is struggling to complete her pushups. Are you just gonna stand there and watch? Help her out! She needs 57 more, so I don't care who does them, but she's not getting her lock back until I get my 76. And if she doesn't complete them and is late to formation, guess what? You're all late. One team, one fight, right?" 

The next thing I knew, Sanders was down on the floor next to me.  

"I got you, battle." She said, and started doing pushups. 

Then another girl, someone I didn't really know, was next to my other side. 

After both of them had pushed for a minute, DS Lovato said the magical word, "Recover." 

I couldn't help but smile. "Thanks, guys...I couldn't have done that without you." 

"Sanders." DS Lovato addressed her. 

"Yes, drill sergeant?" 

"I'm not telling you what to do, but you might want to help Russo out so she can still take a shower before formation." 

Just like that, a huge weight felt like it came off my back. Suddenly it actually seemed possible, with Sanders' help, that I might actually get everything done on time. 

"Yes, drill sergeant. 'I will never leave a fallen comrade.'" Sanders said, quoting the Soldier's Creed. 

"Carry on, Sanders." 

Sanders ran back to our bunk area. 

DS Lovato handed me my lock. "You better hurry up and take a shower so Sanders isn't doing all your work for you, Russo." 

"Yes.. drill sergeant." I said, still slightly out of breath. 

By some sort of miracle, Sanders and I managed to make my bed, pick everything up off the floor and put it in locker, and still allow for time for me to change into my ACUs and make it downstairs for formation. 

I guess that's what basic training was supposed to be all about. Teamwork. One person picks up the slack for someone that's struggling, so everyone can accomplish the mission. I was starting to scare myself with how easy all this military talk was becoming to me.

-

Before I knew it, it was the end of the day. Well, that might not be entirely accurate. The classes we had to sit through dragged some serious ass, but I didn't fall asleep once again, so I considered that a victory. 

I found myself outside of DS Lovato's office again, right before 8pm. 

"Private Russo requesting permission to enter the premises, drill sergeant." I said, after I knocked on the door. 

"It's open, Russo." 

I opened the door and stepped in. I was a little disappointed to see that she wasn't wearing regular clothes like yesterday, but it seemed she might be in the process of changing out, because she didn't have the jacket top on; she was just wearing the boots, pants, and tan t-shirt. She was also letting her hair down as I entered. 

"Sit. We're not doing any PT tonight either. I don't think you could do another pushup if I put a gun to your head, am I right?" She asked, a smile forming. 

"Probably not, drill sergeant." I figured since she was still kinda in uniform I should call her drill sergeant. 

She was running her hands through her gorgeous brown hair as she spoke to me. "So, what did you learn today?" 

"That I'm never gonna leave my locker unlocked again in my life, drill sergeant." 

She made a ceasing motion with her hand. "Cut it out with the drill sergeant stuff. Don't you remember what I told you last night?" 

"I just thought... since you were still in uniform..." I trailed off. 

"Selena, if you think this..." She motioned to her body, "Is considered 'in uniform', you have a lot to learn. This is not an authorized uniform. I'm changing out right now." 

"O-oh, okay. Well, should I come back in a few minutes when you get done changing then?" I offered, trying to be polite. 

"Please. I'm not gonna be getting naked. I'm fairly sure I don't have anything you haven't seen before." She said, undoing the belt of her pants. 

Okay, this, was totally against the rules. There was no questioning it. And... I wasn't going to question it. 

"Right..." I laughed nervously. 

She slid her pants off and grabbed some jeans that were draped over a chair next to her. But not fast enough to where I didn't get a glimpse of the black underwear she was wearing or her perfect legs. The soldier part of me, or at least, the developing soldier part of me, wanted to ask if that underwear was authorized. But then, I supposed if you were a drill sergeant you could probably wear whatever you want. We'd been told in reception the only color we could wear was tan. 

But then I thought, no one wears that color of underwear unless you want someone to see it. So was it possible she had planned this, too? 

DS Lovato... Devonne... I couldn't tell what kind of signals she was giving off anymore. One minute she was yelling at me like she hated me, and the next she was showing off her underwear. 

I couldn't help but watch her jeans take their tight shape over her legs as she pulled them on. Good god, my drill sergeant was hot. 

"So um..." I desperately wanted to start some sort of conversation, so she didn't think I was staring at her. "My uh... bed wasn't made correctly this morning?" 

"Your..." She started to say then pulled her tan t shirt off. "hospital corners were not a 45 degree angle. They were more like a 20." 

All I heard was '20' and I wanted to remark that that's what her body would be on a scale of 1-10. Looking at her chiseled stomach and full breasts in the matching black bra she was wearing, I couldn't help but think of the phrase I heard in reception a lot: 'PT makes me sexy'. 

Yes, yes it does, Devonne. 

Unfortunately, she put on a black t shirt and the show was over. 

"With the way you're staring, Selena, maybe I was wrong in assuming you'd never seen another girl change before." She called me out. 

Shit, shit, shit! How the hell was I supposed to answer that? There were practically no safe answers. 

"I uhh...I was just..." I stammered. "You're really... fit." 

"I'd like to think so, I've only been doing this for almost 5 years." She responded, with a grin. 

Well, at least she wasn't calling me out anymore. Man, I desperately wanted to change the subject. 

"When do we get to shoot guns?" I asked, out of the blue. Smooth, Selena. Awesome segue. 

She laughed. "In a few weeks. But don't ever call your rifle a gun. It's a weapon." 

My rifle. I was going to have my own rifle. Me. Miss Fashion in high school. Boy, would the kids in my class get a kick out of hearing that... 

"Is that why you joined, Selena? To shoot?" She asked me, with a curious look. 

"No, not really... I'm not really a violent person, like at all..." I admitted. 

"If you're lucky, you will only ever shoot at targets on a range." She said, her tone noticeably changed. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I think you know what I mean..." She trailed off. 

I pondered that. Shooting at targets instead of... Oh... 

"You've been in combat before?!" I asked, impossibly. I mean, I guess it shouldn't have surprised me so much. 

"I... I'd rather not talk about that, if that's okay..." 

Suddenly I felt terrible for asking. "Oh, I'm sorry. I won't bring it up again." 

"If you really wanna know, I'll tell you one night. But not tonight, I'm not in the mood." She began to pack her uniform in a duffle bag on the floor. 

"So uh..." I searched for something, anything else to talk about. "Today was our last day of all of those classes, right?" 

She smiled weakly. "Yes, tomorrow you'll do your first obstacle course." 

My eyes widened. "Is it... gonna be really hard?" Then I realized how pathetic that sounded. 

"It's good training." Was all she responded. 

What the hell did that mean? Was that a yes or a no? 

"I'll try my best. I'm getting tired of letting you down all the time..." I said. 

"You're not letting me down, sweetie..." 

Sweetie? This coming from the same person that practically cussed me out earlier this morning. 

"...I can tell you're trying. But like I told you last night, it's my job to push you to your limit. You've maintained your military bearing, despite what I put you through this morning. That shows me a lot." She finished. 

"I really wanted to say something this morning... trust me..." I said, then realized that might have come off a little too brave. 

She laughed. "I know. But you didn't. That's what matters." 

"I don't know if I'm overstepping my bounds here..." Or what my bounds even are... "...but... can you do 76 pushups?" 

She chuckled. "Yes, Selena, I can. I will never make you do anything I couldn't do myself." 

I don't know where it came from, but suddenly I felt extremely brave, because I said, "I don't believe you, Devonne." 

Her eyes widened and she looked at me like I'd just called her fat.  

Yep. That was it for me. She was gonna kill me. 

"Ohohoho..." She got up out of her chair and pushed her hair up and tied it back. "You want to bet?" 

"Uhhh..."  

"Cause I'll show you I can. But I'm not doing them for free. You're gonna owe me something. So if you really want to go through with this, you better think of something good." She stared me down. 

"Well, maybe I don't..." 

"Too slow. You good at giving massages, Russo?" She said my name in the same way I had said hers. 

I just looked at her with my mouth open. 

"Get your mind out of the gutter, I'm not talking about giving me a happy ending. I'm saying a shoulder massage." 

I couldn't help but giggle at the fact she'd alluded to me giving her a happy ending. Not that I would have really minded... 

"Uh.. I guess?" 

"Well you better read up, cause it better be a damn good one." She started to lower herself to the ground. 

"Wait! I didn't say I-" 

Too late. She started doing them. I was amazed at how fast she was. I think she did 5 in the time it took me to do one. After the first twenty, she showed no signs of slowing, and she wasn't even breathing heavily. In fact, she looked straight at me while she was doing them, and talked to me. 

"So... I'm thinking..." She continued going up and down at the same speed. "Not tonight... because our time is almost up... and I want to get my money's worth..." She kept up. 

Jesus, she was some sort of superhuman.  

"Well, how 'bout this... I'll just let you know... when I want to collect..." 

I nodded, slowly, mesmerized at her speed. 

"What is that, 50?... Are you keeping track? Cause I'm not..." She continued. 

"I don't-" 

"This is getting boring..." She put one hand behind her back and continued doing them, at the same speed.  

"Okay, okay! I get it!" 

"No... I think I still got 10 more to do..." She grinned. "Wouldn't want to do less than 76, you might never forgive me..." 

I covered my face with my hands and shook my head. Oh man, she was totally making me eat my words. 

"Eh... 5 more?" She kept going.  

"I think you're probably close to a hundred or something..." I groaned. I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. I just didn't honestly think someone that looked like her could really do that many. But she proved me dead wrong. 

She stopped and got up, rubbing her hands together. Now she was breathing a little heavy, but come on, who wouldn't be? 

"By the way..." She started, and chuckled. "If you ever call me out like that in front of anyone else? I will smoke you till you leave a puddle of sweat on the ground bigger than your entire body." 

I swallowed hard. The scary part was, I knew she wasn't joking. I gave a nervous laugh, "No worries! I won't ever doubt you again!" 

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Good." 

Then she tossed me a water bottle. "You know what to do." 

-

I laid in bed, not long after, and thought about this recent 'private' time. Every time I tried to think about her motives, or anything that wasn't the permanent mental image of her body when she was changing, I failed. This is wrong in so many ways. You're not supposed to have a crush on your drill sergeant in basic training.  

But is that what I had? Sure, in our one on one time I enjoyed talking to her and who she was; but when she was in my face yelling at me during the day... I didn't like that side so much. I guessed maybe I had a little crush on Devonne, for sure. DS Lovato though... she was a different beast. To have a crush on that, I'd have to be some sort of masochist. 

The million dollar question though, was why was she acting the way she did towards me? I mean, she'd pretty much flat out told me that she had a soft spot for me, so I got that much. You could have a soft spot for someone and not purposely change in front of someone and call them things like 'sweetie' though. Was it possible she didn't even realize that changing in front of me was sort of wrong? She didn't necessarily flaunt her body, after all. I couldn't picture her doing that. 

Her reasoning, as told by her, was that I had the 'potential' to be a great soldier. But how did she really know that, from just two days with me? I guessed drill sergeants probably had a keen eye for that sort of thing, but then again it seemed like something more. Like she wanted me to have the potential; not so much that I actually had it. 

I wondered if she knew how much she invaded all my thoughts. Did I have the same impact on her? Or did she just go home at the end of the night and just... forget about basic training till the morning? Did she have a family? She didn't really tell us any personal information whatsoever. 

I sighed and looked at my watch. Shit, it was almost 10pm already, and here I was just lost in thought over her.  

If I told you I just rolled over and fell asleep instantly because I noticed the time, I'd be lying pretty badly. I tossed and turned for another hour at least, attempting to rid her out of my mind, before I actually fell asleep.

-

"Russo. Wake up." 

I darted upwards in my bunk. "Shit, did I sleep through... my alarm?" 

"No, Russo. It's the middle of the night."  

I looked at the source of the voice. DS Lovato? What was she doing here? 

"I can't sleep. I've been thinking about you too much." She said with a soft smile. 

"Drill sergeant... what are you talking about?" 

"What do you think, silly?" 

I rubbed my eyes. "Is this a trick?" 

"You're so cute." She giggled, softly. "No, it's not." 

"When are you gonna start yelling at me? I know drill sergeants don't wake up trainees just to chat..." I trailed off. 

She made a pouting face. "Aw, I'm not gonna yell at you. But you're right, we don't wake up trainees just to chat." 

"Then...?" 

"I'll show you." She whispered, then sat down on the side of my bed. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me in close to her-

"Russo, get up! It's almost 5!"  

That voice. That was not DS Lovato. That was... Sanders. 

Wait, so... that was... just a dream. 

I frowned at this realization. 

"What's wrong?" Sanders asked me. 

"I hate my fucking dreams sometimes, Sanders...."

CHAPTER 4

"You look out of it, Russo. Did you pull fire guard last night?" DS Lovato asked me, while I ran beside her in PT, once again behind everyone else.  

"Fire...guard?" I breathed. This run was proving to be just as hard as the first one. 

She grinned. "If you don't know what it is, you haven't had to pull it. But you will, probably very soon." 

I kind of hated the fact that she talked so normal while we ran, like we were just taking a leisurely stroll of something.  

Was it really so obvious I had something on my mind? Obviously, the dream I just had with her in it last night. 

"Sounds... fun..." I replied. 

"I hope you're not too tired, because we're doing the first obstacle course today. 'I'm too tired' will not be a valid excuse, when the time comes." She explained to me. 

"No... not tired... just... thinking... drill sergeant..." I realized I hadn't addressed her properly the last few times I'd spoke to her. That was all I needed now, to get too relaxed around her, when she obviously wasn't going to. At least, not completely. 

"Open up your stride a little. You're using more energy when you take such small steps when you run." She informed me. 

That was bad advice on her part. All it did was cause me to look at how she ran, which in turn made me focus on her thighs in the black PT shorts, which caused me to remember last night when she'd stripped in front of me. 

Black underwear. 

I was thinking so much about it, in fact, that I nearly tripped and fell on my face. The only reason I didn't was because DS Lovato put her arm out, with reflexes like a cat, to stop me from tumbling forward. 

"Damn Russo, you can't copy what I'm doing without busting your ass?" She shook her head and I could tell she wanted to smile. "Just... work on your stride from here on out, got it?" 

I nodded, embarrassed as hell. "Yes... drill sergeant..." 

I wondered if she noticed I wasn't 'studying' her stride at all, but checking her out. C'mon, she had to have at least some slight inclination of that... Was that why she almost smiled? 

Damnit, Selena! Pull yourself together! You're only on the 3rd day of basic, and you already can't seem to think about anything else but your drill sergeant in inappropriate ways! 

I cleared my throat - I guess because I thought somehow that would clear my head - and then couldn't help but think of how out of place that sounded. Who clears their throat when they are running? 

That was it for me. I lost touch with putting one leg in front of the other and tripped for real this time, and it was too much for DS Lovato to prevent. All that happened was an incredibly awkward fall, with her hand on my stomach. 

Luckily, or perhaps unluckily depending on how you look at it, my knees hit the pavement first and caused me to skid a small ways before I stopped. 

Now, I'm fairly sure the average person would be filled with concern, but I guess drill sergeants weren't equipped with this basic human instinct, because DS Lovato laughed at me. 

"Sorry, Russo. You were going down whether I intervened or not..." 

I gritted my teeth, looking at my legs. There was a nice, healthy scrape from my knees down to my ankles. I looked up and saw my platoon take off in the distance. There was no way we'd catch them now. 

I rubbed my knees. Yep, they were bleeding now. Awesome. 

"You good? Can you still run?" She asked me. 

NO I can't still run! What are you, high? LOOK at my knees! 

"It hurts..." I said, in a somewhat pathetic voice that I might have used to get pity from someone I liked back in school. 

She responded by holding her hand out. "C'mon." 

I grabbed it and she pulled me up. 

"We'll get you taken care of when we get back to the drill pad. We have bandages in the office for things like this. But if you didn't break your legs, you can still run." 

"What?!" I said, impulsively. I immediately regretted it. 

"I'm pretty sure your ears didn't get damaged in the fall, Russo. I'll let that slide... for now. Now let's go!" 

"Uggh... yes, drill sergeant..." I started to walk at first, then opened my stride back up. I winced every step because I could feel the scrape open up, since it was right on my knees. 

"There you go. See? You're fine. Charlie mike." She said. 

I didn't know who Charlie and Mike were, but I failed to see how they were related to this incident. 

"Charlie...Mike?" 

"Short for C and M. You should know this, Russo! C and M. Continue mission." She explained. 

We were on a mission? I thought we were just running. I didn't question it, though. Probably something else I should 'already know' but didn't. 

Man, I thought I was gonna be prepared for this, but each passing moment served as a reminder that I didn't know shit. It was kind of disheartening. 

I guess she read my reaction. "You're fine, Russo. Just absorb everything you learn and you'll be fine." 

It was that easy, right? 

Something incredible happened on the remainder of the run: my knees stopped hurting slowly but surely. I don't know if it was because they actually stopped hurting or if I just chose to ignore the pain, but I felt kind of invincible. 

When we got back to the drill pad, the blood on my legs had already dried up. The rest of the platoon was waiting for me, it seemed. The other drill sergeant for our platoon, DS Carter, was standing n front of them. 

"Carter, fall them out. Russo ate shit on that run and I need to patch her up." DS Lovato told him. 

The description that I 'ate shit' on the run made me chuckle a little. Army speak for falling down I guess. 

I walked into the office with DS Lovato and she told me to sit down while she went in the back to get some bandages. 

While she was occupied doing that, I looked on the wall and saw the military portraits of all the drill sergeants in our training company. Obviously I stopped on DS Lovato's. She looked so fierce and stoic, as did everyone else. But all I saw when I looked at it, was her with her hair let down and makeup on. That was the version I liked more. Devonne. 

"Okay..." She started when she appeared again. "I'm obligated to say this as per regulation... do you need to go to sick call for this injury?" 

Sick call was like the doctor's office for the military. It was a pain in the ass to go, though, almost like you were being punished for being injured or sick. You had to wake up even earlier and report downstairs with a bag containing a list of things like a uniform and hygiene items. It was in case you got held overnight at the clinic. Obviously, if I were to go for something like this, I wouldn't be staying overnight. But everyone had to have the bag regardless. 

"No, I don't think so, drill sergeant." I responded with a little chuckle. 

"Hey, some people would demand to go for little shit like this. I didn't think you were that type, but like I said, I have to ask." She walked over to me and kneeled on the ground in front of me. 

"Raise your legs, I'm gonna wrap your knees in gauze."  

I did, and I felt like Cinderella when the prince was putting on the glass slipper. Except, she was the prince in this case. 

When she finished, she stood up. "Alright, good as new. Now get upstairs and shower, and make your bed again. You still have to be in formation at the normal time; you don't get special treatment for having bad coordination." She smiled a little, then added. "You might want to have Sanders help you with the proper way to make your bed, or you're gonna be remaking it every morning. Don't think I won't flip your bed every single day you're here if it's not up to standard." 

I nodded. "Yes, drill sergeant." 

I looked at her a little too long after I said this. 

"Move!" She gestured for me to leave. 

Well, I don't know, maybe I also liked the DS Lovato side of her as well... Thinking about how gorgeous she was out of uniform, and picturing that authoritative voice with that, it was kinda hot... 

"I'm sorry, did I stutter, Russo? FUCKING MOVE!" She loudly interrupted my thought process. 

I shot up at this. I didn't even realize I was still sitting there, I was too busy fantasizing. 

The whole way back upstairs and to my bunk - which had been viciously flipped off the bed frame completely - I had a smile plastered on my face. I started to put the bed back, and that's when Sanders noticed the stupid grin on my face. 

"Something good happen, Russo?" She wondered. 

"Uhhh no..." Got to come up with an excuse that doesn't give it away... "I'm just uhh... really... proud of myself." 

Sanders laughed. "You totally tripped and fell, what are you proud of?" 

"That I uhh... kept running afterwards." 

It wasn't a total lie, I was pretty happy about that. But would it cause me to have a perma-smile? Hell no. But Sanders didn't know that. 

"Hm." She seemed to process this for a moment. "You still have to do the obstacle course?" 

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure." 

"You don't sound down about that, whatsoever. It's gonna suck, you know that, right?" 

And then I scared the hell out of myself, "It's gonna be good training." 

Sanders just looked at me like I'd grown a third eye. "Damn, DS Lovato has got you whipped into shape doesn't she?" 

I shrugged. "I guess." 

"You know, you have yet to tell me what goes on during your one on ones with her. I've been curious ever since the first day. You always come out with your shirt completely drenched in sweat. Yet you're like... happy. What's up with that?" Sanders questioned me. 

How do I respond to that one? 

"Wait..." She said slowly, narrowing her eyes, "I think I know what's going on with you..." 

"You... do." 

"It kinda makes sense now. Why you've been getting in trouble all the time." 

I swallowed. This wasn't good. 

"What do you think is going on with me?" I tried to ask as calm as possible. 

She just studied me for a second. "You're a masochist! You like pain?" 

I had to stifle my laughter. Sure, I could pretend that was it. 

"It's kind of embarrassing, really." I 'fake' admitted. 

"That's crazy, girl. No wonder you joined the Army." 

"I didn't even realize it, but I guess you're right." 

She smirked. "Well, if you go to formation still in PT uniform, you'll definitely be in some more pain. Is that your angle?" 

"What are you-" I started, then looked down. Yes, I was indeed still in my PT clothes. And nearly every other girl in the room was in ACUs already. "Oh shit. I have to go take a shower!" I panicked. 

"You're an odd one, Russo..." I heard her say as I grabbed my ACUs from my locker and sprinted to the showers.

-

After lunch chow later on, instead of marching back to the drill pad like usual to attend classes, we set off in a completely new direction. 

"Alright, privates, listen up!" DS Lovato addressed us as we marched. "This afternoon we are going to the CC. The Confidence Course." 

This announcement caused the platoon to murmur to each other, 'What's a confidence course?'  

"Shut your mouths! There is no talking while marching!"  

That seemed to do the trick. 

You tell 'em, Devonne.  

"Personally, I don't think this course should have confidence anywhere in the title, because it's so easy compared to the courses you will do later on in the cycle. But it's mandatory training, so it's not optional. Know what else is not optional? Not giving 110% on it." 

After another 30 minutes of marching, we turned into a wooded area which had a sign at the turn that said 'Confidence Course Week 1'. I'm not sure if DS Lovato thought by telling us that she thought it was easy would motivate us, or crush us when we actually saw it - but I'm going with option 2. 

This did not look easy in the slightest. The very first obstacle was a ramp leading up to 2 ropes, one to hold onto, and one to walk on like a tightrope, I assumed. It wasn't ridiculously high or anything, but if you fell you'd definitely do some damage to yourself. I quickly scanned the rest of the obstacles: rope climbs, walls to get over somehow, the dreaded crawl on the ground under barbed wire...  

Yeah. Too easy, DS Lovato. Can we have something harder please? 

I heard others in the formation with similar thoughts to mine: 'This looks insane', 'Is that real barbed wire?!' 

Thankfully, we were the last platoon in our training company, so we would do the course last. Which meant we got to see a preview of how hard it was by watching the others go through it first. 

After watching them, I came to a general consensus: no matter how well you did the course, you were still gonna get yelled at to move faster. 

On a few of the obstacles, namely the ones that required a climb to even start them, there were drill sergeants posted at the top as 'safety officers'. DS Lovato was on one where you would have to climb a net up one side and down the other. Oh, and do twenty pushups at the top of it. Considering my performance with pushups the previous morning, I wasn't looking forward to this one. Plus, that wasn't the only obstacle that had some added rule to it. Almost all of them had you doing something before you even attempted the obstacle itself. 

This was madness. 

Sanders nudged me. "Still think this is just good training, Russo?" 

I groaned in response which she chuckled at. 

Sooner than I liked, we were lined up in front of the first obstacle. Basically, a drill sergeant at the beginning yelled 'Go!' then 'Next one... go!' and slowly sent us all at staggered intervals to start the course. 

As soon as it was my turn, I ran as fast as possible up the first ramp, to try and get some distance between Sanders and I. I really wished she went before me, but we're all arranged alphabetically, and as my luck would have it, S does not come before R.  

I started my walk across the rope a bit too fast and nearly lost my footing immediately. You know that moment where you're walking up or down some stairs and you step a little too high or you anticipate a step being there but it's not and your foot just goes down more than you thought it would, and you feel like your life flashes before your eyes? Yeah. That's how this felt, complete with a totally girly shriek. 

That's me. Selena Russo. Army Strong. 

From there on out, once I realized no one really cared that I screamed, I took things much slower. So slow in fact, that Sanders was right up on me. 

"Sanders, can you please pass me when we get to the other side?" I asked her. 

"Afraid of heights?" 

"No, but I am afraid of falling off and dying." 

She laughed. "I dunno. Dying might be really painful that way. You'd probably enjoy it." 

Oh right, I'm a masochist. I forgot. 

"Point taken." I responded. 

Thankfully, she did pass me when we got to the downhill ramp on the other side. 

I looked in front of me at the next obstacle. This one looked pretty easy. Just a bunch of raised beams you had to step high to get over. I took my time. More people passed me. 

Then I got to the first real obstacle. A stupid rope climb. So you know how in high school if you suck at climbing the rope, the PE coach will give you a break sometimes? 

Drill sergeants aren't PE coaches. 

"C'mon Russo! Get up that damn rope!" Some drill sergeant that was in another platoon yelled at me. 

"I'm trying drill sergeant!" I called back. I was pretty proud of myself, I'd made it halfway. But that was as far as I was making it. The bell at the top might as well have been a thousand miles away. 

"Does that work for Lovato? Damn, she's soft on you." He said, which pissed me off. 

I bet she could kick your ass! I wanted to say to him. 

Another girl came up to the rope now and waited for me to finish. 

"You." The drill sergeant addressed her. "Help this sorry excuse for a soldier up that rope." 

I'm gonna spare you the gory details of how long it took me to do that rope, and subsequently, the next few obstacles - the wooden walls that I had to have 3 people lift me up to get over, the barbed wire where I'm pretty sure I incurred a fatal wound on my back... 

I'd gotten to the second to last obstacle now, the net climb, where DS Lovato sat perched on top of. I was out of breath, I was sweating like a whore in church, and I just needed... a break. Give me like, a minute to just not do anything, and maybe I could finish. 

"Oh, is that what 110% looks like these days, Russo? Should I just give you a moment to ponder the meaning of life? Newsflash! I've been sitting up here in the sun while all the other platoons went through the course. I'm pretty damn hot, and I'd like to get down sometime today, so if you would kindly HURRY THE FUCK UP?!" DS Lovato screamed at me. 

This net looked so much easier when I watched other people do it. Now, though? Not so much. 

"I swear on everything that's holy, if you don't move your ass right fucking now, you and I will stay here while everyone else leaves and you will run this course until lights out tonight! I got nowhere to be, Russo! This is all our field training for today! So please, test me." 

I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the fact I was about to keel over I was so tired, and starting climbing the net. If it wasn't so loose, it wouldn't have been that hard. But it was. DS Lovato was shouting obscenities at me the whole time, but I honestly didn't even hear them, I just moved up as fast as I was able to. More people passed me. 

When I got to the top, I rolled onto the platform and stopped on my back. I put my hand on my chest to try to calm my breathing. 

"Am I... the last... one?" I managed to ask. 

"Yes, I'm pretty sure everyone else has gone home, fed their kids, fucked their spouse, and gone to bed, Russo. Do your pushups on your knees, there's no use in me trying to tell you to do them correctly. I know that's a lost cause." 

It sounded appealing. Doing pushups with your knees on the ground was definitely way easier. But I rolled onto my stomach and glanced at her. She kind of looked... disappointed. 

So, despite all the pain I was in (which I didn't like, to clear the air), I tried to do them correctly. I'd be damned if I wasn't gonna take this opportunity to impress her. I didn't think about the pain, or how many I'd done, I just envisioned our one on one later tonight and her telling me she was proud of me. That was the only motivation I needed. 

"Well. Color me shocked." She said. "Now get down the other side and finish the damn course, already!" 

When I got down on the ground from the net, I heard people from my platoon shouting at me. But they weren't angry. They were... cheering me on? 

"Come on, Russo! You got this!" 

"Finish strong, Russo!" 

I'd be lying if I said this didn't have any effect on me. The last obstacle was a sprint through an area with really soft sand. If you didn't know, running on soft sand is like running in slow motion. 

This was the final challenge of the Confidence Course, and it was no joke. It was worse when you looked at the area and saw it wasn't very long and thought it would be cake. 

Suddenly, as I struggled to reach the other side of the sand pit, people started chanting my name. 

"Russo! Russo! Russo!" 

The positivity from them, and the compassion I felt for them: my fellow soldiers, was too much. I couldn't help smiling. 

"Yeah! You're almost there, Russo!" 

The encouragement continued. 

I finally made it out and ran the short distance to the finish line, where the course started again. 

People came up to me and patted me on the back, or slapped my arm (mostly guys), or hugged me (mostly girls), or just told me I did a good job in general. 

It was a surreal experience. Here I had thought everyone would be hating the fact I was taking so long, and I'd undoubtedly catch shit for it when I finished; but the complete opposite was true. 

For the first time, I felt like I was part of an incredibly supportive family.  

I saw DS Lovato walk by, and she tipped her hat a little. "Good job, Russo. I knew you could do it." 

That little gesture, however small it might be to the average person, made all the pain and struggle absolutely worth it.

-

The sense of accomplishment from completing the Confidence Course was almost palpable at dinner chow later on. No one was talking, but you could just see it in everyone's eyes. Myself included - we all had done something today we never thought we would have been able to do in a million years. It was an emotional high. To top it off, there was only about an hour and a half till 8, when I'd get to talk to 'Devonne' again. Today was truly a great day, all around. 

After we got released for 'personal time', our glorious half hour we could do whatever we wanted - well, within the regulations, of course - Sanders appeared by my bunk with a sheet of paper in her hands. She looked distraught. 

"What's that?" I asked. 

"This is the fireguard roster for tonight. We're on it." Sanders said, as if that explained everything. 

"DS Lovato asked me if I had that last night, during the run this morning. What does that mean?"  

"We have to be up for one hour during the night to patrol the barracks and make sure everyone's locker is secure, as well as clean the floor when we're done with that." She explained. 

"That doesn't sound so bad..." I tried to be optimistic. 

"It wouldn't be, if we had it at a good time. We don't. We have the second to last shift from 3-4am. Since we wake up right before 5 anyway, you can pretty much just plan to wake up at 3 and be up all day from there." Sanders frowned. 

I frowned also. "Well that blows." 

She shrugged. "Part of basic. We're gonna have it at a different time next time, they rotate the schedule." 

"We have to do it again?!" I protested. 

"Russo, we're gonna have it like every third day, basically. For the rest of the cycle." 

9 weeks, every third day... So we'd have it around 20 different times. Fuck me. 

"Wait... so we have to set our alarm for 3am then?" I wondered. 

"No, the previous shift will wake us up ten minutes prior to ours starting." 

"They're gonna wake us up at 2:50?!"  

"Something like that, yeah." 

I groaned, then I looked at my watch. It was about time to go to DS Lovato's office. Maybe she could change my schedule so I wasn't getting screwed so hard. 

"Alright well... time for PT." I said, and got up. 

"At least you know you'll be able to go right to sleep afterwards, right?" Sanders tried to cheer me up. 

"Yeah... hopefully." 

I walked to the office, following the same procedure as the previous nights, and soon found myself sitting across from the gorgeous Devonne. Tonight she had already changed, fortunately. At least we wouldn't have another awkward moment like last night. 

"How are you feeling?" She asked me, leaning forward and clasping her hands together. 

"Exhausted." I admitted. "But in a good way." 

"Think you can still do pushups?" 

I laughed, but she just looked at me, expectantly. 

I darted my eyes back and forth, then back to hers. "Err... you're serious?" 

"Dead serious." 

"I mean, I could probably do a couple but not that many..." I trailed off. I hoped she would conclude from this that doing pushups was a dumb idea. 

"I'm gonna show you a different way of doing them, that will make them a little easier for you." She said. "Get in the front leaning rest, I'm gonna face you and we'll do them together." 

This was... really happening. What happened to talking and possibly maybe slightly flirting? I much preferred those nights... 

I did as she asked, though. I immediately found out this would be so bad. Her face was like maybe 3 inches away from mine. I could do pushups and stare into those eyes all day long. 

"Alright, see where your hands are? Like, almost right next to your sides? Those kinds of pushups are good, and they actually will help you more, as far as getting in shape, but..." She moved her hands out farther by about a foot. "The farther you put your hands apart, the less distance you have to go down to complete one. Try it." She explained. 

I mimicked what she did. 

"Alright, now I'm gonna go down and I want you to stay with me. Do the same things I am." She explained. 

I lowered myself in sync with her. 

"Now stop. See? Your arms are already parallel to the ground. That counts as one. You don't use as much energy to do them this way." 

Wow, she was right. This wasn't hard at all. 

"To demonstrate how much easier they are, we're gonna do twenty. You might not think you can do twenty, but I believe you'll find you actually can, using this way." 

We did a couple, and then I automatically looked down towards the ground once I felt like I had the technique down. 

"Selena. Eyes on me. Eyes straight forward. You'll tire out faster if you look down. Looking straight ahead you're allowing your blood flow to be smoother, therefore you're not straining your muscles as much." 

That was an easy order to obey. I could stare at her easily. 

And before I knew it, we'd done twenty. We stayed at eye level and she smiled. 

"Want to do twenty more?" 

She honestly could have asked me if I wanted to go clean the floor with a toothbrush, and I would have said yes, looking into those eyes. 

"Yeah." I smiled a little. 

It was an odd but pleasurable sensation to keep constant eye contact with her as our bodies lifted up and down in perfect symmetry.  

"See what I mean?" She asked, getting up on her knees, then to her feet. 

I followed suit. "Definitely. I wish I would have known about those earlier today on the course..." 

She eyed me. "If you're implying I should have shown you this earlier, I couldn't have. I'm not allowed to assist or help you in the field. Your peers can assist you, but I cannot. I can only verbally motivate you." She explained to me. 

Well that's a dumb rule... 

"Yeah..." 

We stood in silence for a few moments. 

"So, how are your knees doing?" She asked me., breaking the silence. "Make sure you remember to take that gauze off when you shower. Probably got some kind of dirt in there on the course and you need to clean it so it doesn't get infected." 

"I dunno, they are probably pretty icky looking by now. The scrape was trying to heal itself all day I could tell, but I kept reopening it by running and stuff." 

"You'll live, Selena. I walked around for half a day with a bullet in my ass once. I think your scrape will be okay." She said, condescendingly. 

"You got shot in the ass? Whaaaaat?" 

She nodded. "I wish I was exaggerating or trying to be funny, but yes. I did actually legitimately have a bullet lodged in one of my ass cheeks..." She started laughing. 

"I don't even know what to..." I trailed off, shaking my head. Unbelievable. 

"I'll tell you about it more in depth sometime if you wanna hear the story. It's pretty funny, actually." 

"Definitely. If anyone didn't want to hear that story there'd be something wrong with them. That's just too weird." I chuckled. "Do you have a scar from that?" 

"Barely noticeable now. That happened two years ago, when I was still a private." She laughed, "Yes, Selena. I was a private once, too, since I know that's what you're thinking. Everyone you see in the Army was, once." 

I shook my head. "No, I believe that and all. I just kind wish I would have been able to join back when you were still a private. Then we could have been friends." 

She sat down. "Okay, this I want to hear. Why would you have wanted to be friends with me? Aren't I the big nasty drill sergeant that you never want to see again after you graduate?" 

"First of all... Devonne..." I made special effort to emphasize we were talking casually now, just for insurance, "...you are so not big and the total opposite of nasty. And I don't honestly think anyone in the platoon sees you that way." 

"You avoided the first question, Selena." 

"Oh, I err... what was it again?" I lost my train of thought. 

"Why would you have wanted to be friends with me when back when I was a private?" She repeated. 

"Cause. I think we would have been really good friends." Then I got a sudden confidence boost (must have been from the Confidence Course), "We're both funny, smart, and gorgeous people. I think we would have made the perfect duo." I laughed. 

She shrugged. "I suppose that makes sense." 

Wait, did she just indirectly call me gorgeous? No way... 

There was an awkward silence after that. I chuckled a little. 

"We can be friends in off duty hours, right here in my office." She said, finally. 

"I thought we weren't allowed to be friends..." 

"As long as no one notices it during training, it's fine." 

"Is it really?" 

"Are you questioning a non-commissioned officer's decision, Russo?" She raised her eyebrows at me. 

"No, drill sergeant!" I said, enthusiastically. 

"Good." She smiled. "Just don't make me regret this. If you mess this up and treat me like a friend during training, it won't end well for you." 

"I won't, I promise."  

I meant it, too. I would endure hell every day from now on, if I knew at the end of it I got to spend time with my gorgeous drill sergeant. 

"I mean it. I've never agreed to something like this in the year I've been a drill sergeant so far, and I probably shouldn't, but at the same time, I want to. And I want to believe this can work. I'm just letting you know, if you do go back on that promise, it's not you who will be in trouble. It's me. So remember that." 

This sounded like a lot more than something someone would say for just a 'friendship', but I didn't argue it. 

"I will. I don't ever want to get you in trouble. You're too sweet." I cooed. Probably not something friends do, at least not people who have just decided to officially be 'friends'. But whatever, I couldn't help it. 

"Oh, stop it." She batted her hand. "We'll continue this tomorrow night, Selena. I know you have fire guard tonight, so you should probably go and get sleep while you can." 

"Okay. Talk to you later, bestie." 

Screw normal friends, we were gonna start as 'best friends', as far as I was concerned. Easier to work up from there, wasn't it? 

She laughed and shook her head. "Good night, Selena." Then she swiveled her chair back around and added, "Sweet dreams." 

I left the office feeling like I was on cloud nine. This had definitely been a productive night for our relationship. 

Oh, Devonne. What have you done to me?

CHAPTER 5

Someone was jostling me awake. I opened my eyes slightly and saw that the lights in the barracks were still off, so it couldn't be because I was late or anything. Maybe they'd just go away, I hoped. I closed my eyes fully once more. 

Unfortunately, whoever it was didn't give up. They shook me again. "Russo, get up. Stop dreaming about Devonne." 

I shot up and I had two priorities: one, to figure out what time it was, and two, to find out how the hell this person knew about Devonne. 

I looked at my watch. 2:46am. Okay, what the fuck. 

"We have ten minutes before our fireguard shift starts."  

Oh. It was Sanders. Fireguard? I rubbed my eyes. 

Ah, hell. Now I remembered. There was no way I was gonna stay awake for an hour in this state. 

"Who's Devonne, by the way? Is that your boyfriend back home or something?" Sanders asked me. 

I played dumb. "Who?" 

"You tell me, you were saying that name in your sleep." 

Crap. Again? I didn't remember having a dream about her... 

"Uhhh yeah. It's this guy back home." I lied. I remembered not everyone knew our drill sergeant's first names. We weren't supposed to, after all. 

"Well, sorry to wake you up from such a good dream, but I had to." Sanders apologized, grinning slightly. 

I shook my head and put my hands over my face. "This sucks." 

"Can't argue that. But c'mon. We got like 5 minutes to relieve the other shift." 

"What do I have to do?" I asked. 

"One of us sits at the desk at the front and logs what the other one does on a form. If a DS or an officer comes in, you have to report to them what's going on." Sanders explained. 

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and yawned. "So... everyone is still sleeping, drill sergeant? What the hell could there be to possibly report?" I wondered. Some of these military rules were so dumb. 

She chuckled. "I'll take the desk then. You would actually say that, wouldn't you? Then we'd be in deep shit." Sanders said. 

"Fine. So what do I do then?" 

"Just walk around, make sure everyone's locker is secured, and keep count of everyone that's sleeping and if anyone is in the latrine." 

"Are you serious?! Who cares if they're in the bathroom or not?!" I shouted. 

"Shhhh!" She hushed me. "People are still sleeping you know. Keep it down." 

I couldn't help but think as I 'patrolled' around the barracks that sleeping would be a much better use of my time than this bullshit. To make matters worse, no one even came in the front door the whole time during our shift, so my reports were pointless. 

I went back to my bunk at 3:55, and was determined to get what little sleep I could get before we had to wake up for the day. By the time I fell asleep, it felt like I only slept for like maybe 10 minutes. 

When the lights came on and people started rushing to the bathroom and making their beds, I guarantee you I must have had bags under my eyes and looked like hell. Today was going to be long day. 

DS Lovato came in right after 5, and was entirely too loud for that time of the day, as per usual. 

"I've been easy on you for the first few days, ladies, but I'm all out of lenience now! This barracks better be spotless this morning, or you will clean it on your time at the end of training today!" 

She couldn't be talking about our half hour we got at the end of the day. Could she really take that from us?  

She started pacing the aisle. "These bunks look like trash!" She got to Sanders and I's living area and stopped. I was still in bed. It was too late to get up, I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have helped. 

It was amazing that those chocolate eyes of hers could look so beautiful at night in our chats, but so menacing during the day. They seemed to burrow into my soul. 

I started to get out of bed, but she interrupted me. 

"Oh no, it's okay, Perfume. Just stay in bed while the rest of your battle buddies do all the work. You had fireguard last night, right?" 

I nodded and yawned. "Yes, drill sergeant." 

"Surely no one else in this room had fireguard last night. You are the only one that's tired, I'm sure!" 

I shook my head. "No, drill sergeant. It's my fault. I'll get up and start helping." 

"As I recall, this is your third infraction in the morning with not helping clean, because you're usually not even awake yet, or too busy making your bed." She said. "Which, I might add, still looks like shit even though you spend all this extra time making it. So maybe a formal counseling will motivate you. Obviously me yelling at you isn't doing much. Come with me." 

Counseling? What was that? It didn't sound good. 

"Should I put my shoes on, drill sergeant?" I asked, weakly. 

"You don't need shoes to sign a piece of paper, Russo." She clarified. "Come on." 

I followed her into the office, and I wished it was 8pm, so that I was coming here under good circumstances. 

"Close the door." She said, which I did. 

Now I was confused. Should I talk to her casually or formally? It was duty hours I guessed, so probably the latter. 

"What is a counseling, drill sergeant?" I asked. 

"Are your hands broken, Perfume? Last I checked, I'm a non commissioned officer, who you are supposed to stand at parade rest for when addressing." She said, without even turning around. How did she know I wasn't? 

I snapped my hands behind my back. "Sorry, drill sergeant." 

Yes, she was in full on drill sergeant mode right now. There would be nothing fun about this. 

"A counseling..." She started, then pulled a piece of paper out of a manilla folder on her desk, "...is a formal reprimand on paper for failure to obey orders." 

"F-formal reprimand?" The words sounded so heavy I could barely get them out. 

"Get 3 of these and you will be recommended for an Article 15 under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. Aka, I'll take half your paycheck for one month." She explained, beginning to write on the form. 

"Half my paycheck?... drill sergeant?" 

She turned around. "Congratulations, Russo. Your ears are working properly this morning. Now, I have to read this to you." 

I swallowed and nodded. 

"Private Russo, you are being read this counseling for failure to obey orders and failing to meet the standards and guidelines that all soldiers are required to adhere to..." 

She made it sound so bad. C'mon, all I did was stay in bed a little too long... 

"...you have failed to assist in barracks cleanup in the morning on several occasions, therefore corrective action is necessary in order to teach you the importance of this basic duty." 

Corrective action sounded so serious. And also a bit extreme. Was this really fair? I know I'd messed up a few times but... 

"You and Private Sanders will conduct barracks cleanup from 03-0400 hours for 7 days, effective starting tomorrow. I, Drill Sergeant Lovato, will inspect the barracks at 0400 to ensure they meet the standard. If more time is necessary to reach the standard, more time will be used." 

What? Sanders didn't mess up, why was she being punished too? 

DS Lovato turned around and handed me the paper. "Do you understand what has been read to you?" 

"Y-yes, drill sergeant..." I said, dejectedly.  

"Initial and sign on the back here." She pointed to the signature block. 

I signed it and handed it back to her. 

"Dismissed. Inform Sanders of your new duty." She sounded disappointed. 

"Yes, drill sergeant..." I said, and turned to the door. 

"Selena..." 

I spun back around at the mention of my first name like that. "Yes?" 

"Get your shit together. I can't give you special treatment, you understand that?" 

I nodded slowly. "Yes I...do." 

"I'm just doing my job. I tried to give you leeway, but this is too many times. And you're not the only one that's gonna suffer for this. I'm gonna have to come in an hour earlier because of this. But it's best we fix this now. In another week you're gonna have an additional possible duty at night and I really don't wanna make you do this on top of that, but if you don't show improvement, that's what's gonna happen." 

I felt like she was lecturing me.  

"Am I still gonna have fire guard on top of this?" I wondered. 

"If your name comes up in the schedule, yes. You don't get exempt from other duties. Corrective training doesn't work that way." 

I sighed. "Okay, I understand. Thank you for caring so much to do this for me." 

She smirked. "Don't get a big head. I'd do this for any of my soldiers." 

Well, that didn't pan out how I wanted it to...

-

Sanders was, of course, less than thrilled when I told her she had to take the fall with me for my screwup. But that was a pretty routine practice in the military - group punishment. Sanders said I was lucky DS Lovato didn't make the whole platoon do it, because then I would have been on a lot of people's hit lists instead of just one person. 

Either way, the actual punishment was beginning to dawn on me, as time went on. When I was in the office and DS Lovato read me my counseling, I was just kinda like yeah, whatever. But now, really thinking about what it entailed? It was gonna suck. How in the hell were we supposed to clean the barracks when everyone was sleeping anyway? Also, since DS Lovato was gonna have to come in an hour earlier, she'd probably be pissed off and then, in turn, cranky for the rest of that day. And all of this was gonna happen for the next week?  

After breakfast chow this morning, we all formed up downstairs, all the platoons together, in some kind of square formation. In the center was DS Lovato, carrying a rifle. 

"Listen up, privates! Some of you more well-read types can probably recognize what this is that I'm holding. Does anyone know?" She asked, in her ever-authoritative voice that I was beginning to admire instead of fear. 

Some guy in another platoon, across from us raised his hand. 

DS Lovato pointed at him. 

"A rocket launcher?" He asked. 

I couldn't tell if he was actually that dumb, or just trying to be a funny guy. Either way, DS Lovato didn't buy it. 

"Is that a serious answer, private?" 

"No, drill sergeant. I was just trying to lighten the mood." He explained. 

She flashed him a fake smile. "Good, then lighten the mood in the fucking front leaning rest for being a smart ass." 

"Yes, drill sergeant..." He got down and started doing pushups. 

"Anyone have a serious answer?" DS Lovato turned in place to survey each platoon. 

I raised my hand. I was gonna take a guess. It was gonna be harder to get on her good graces now, so I better take any opportunity I could. Plus, I remembered my recruiter mentioning this part of basic training. I just hoped I was right. 

She pointed at me, stone faced. I was kinda disappointed she didn't address me by name, but I guess she wasn't supposed to give special treatment in instances like this. 

"Is it an... M16... drill sergeant?" 

DS Lovato nodded, no smile, no hint of being impressed in the slightest. "Rule number one, privates. If you're gonna say something, even if you aren't completely sure if the answer is correct, sound the hell off with confidence. Blind confidence will get you far in the Army." She turned in another direction. "But yes, Private Russo is correct. This is an M16 semi-automatic rifle. You are allowed to call it one of two things: either your 'rifle' or your 'weapon'. Do not call it a 'gun'." 

She continued. "I am this company's armorer, which means I am charge of the arms room, aka where all the weapons are stored. So today... marks the first day for pretty much the rest of the cycle, that you will each have one of these. Never let it out of your sight - it will always be within arms reach of you at all times. The only exceptions are when you use the latrine or take a shower. At those times you must appoint someone to guard your weapon. Does everyone understand?" 

"Yes, drill sergeant!" We all said. 

Someone raised their hand. "What about when we're sleeping, drill sergeant?" 

"That's a great question, private." DS Lovato answered. "You all are no doubt familiar with fire guard by this point. This is an additional duty you will have on fire guard. You must patrol the barracks, ensure everyone's weapon is accounted for, and that it is on safe, not semi. But we will get into that a bit more in a bit, when we issue you your weapons." 

Man, my very own weapon. I felt like kind of a badass. At the same time, though, I thought about how having something else to worry about just paved the way for me to screw up with something else. No. I won't screw up anymore. I can't. It's not an option. 

Roughly an hour later, we all had our weapons, and we were taught the proper way to carry it, never to point it at something we didn't intend to shoot, and taught how to put it on safe and clear it, to make sure there were no rounds in the chamber. 

It weighed more than I thought it would. This would sure be fun to march around with all the time. But I guess that was the point. 

"Now, before you all start asking me when you get to shoot, I'm gonna answer that now. Your first live fire exercise will be in 2 weeks from now. In the time leading up to that, your drill sergeant will teach you the basic fundamentals of shooting and take you through a variety of training exercises to help familiarize you with your weapon. In addition you will learn how to take it apart, because mark my words, privates, when you turn these weapons back in before you graduate - if you graduate - they will be clean. So it would behoove you to clean your weapon thoroughly every time we shoot, so it will not be too hard to clean to my standards to accept it back into my arms room." DS Lovato explained. 

We all acknowledged this, and then we were released to our respective platoons and drill sergeants. I felt even luckier now, knowing that DS Lovato knew so much about weapons, and that she would be the one teaching us. I could really listen to her talk about anything. I guessed the main problem would be actually focusing on what she was saying, instead of those perfect lips and eyes. 

Later on that night, it had become somewhat of an unofficial practice to 'name' your weapon, throughout the company. DS Lovato had taught us the basics of taking it apart and putting it back together that day, so I was doing just that in my bunk later that evening. 

"So Russo, what are you gonna name yours?" Sanders asked. She was sitting next to me on my bunk looking at her weapon. 

"What did you name yours?" I reversed the question. 

"I dunno, I haven't decided yet. I think I'll decide after we shoot the first time." She responded. 

"How are you gonna ask me what I've named mine, if you haven't even named yours? C'mon..."  

"Devonne, right?" She surprised me by asking. 

I hadn't even really thought about it, but why the hell not. If she thought it was my boyfriend back home (ew) I could get away with it. 

"How'd you know?" I asked, with a sly smile. 

She grinned. "I dunno, maybe because it's all I hear you saying in your sleep." 

I scoffed. "I do not talk in my sleep that much!" 

She just stared at me. "Did you really just say that? Russo, how the hell do you know if you talk in your sleep? You're sleeping!" 

I really was just embarrassed that I apparently did. "I dunno... Devonne... told me... I don't..." 

She perked up. "Oh really... So... is he coming to your graduation? Do I get to meet him?" She went into girl talk mode immediately. 

"I don't know if he's gonna be able to make it. He... works a lot." I improvised. I was seriously gonna have to come up with some fake history for my 'boyfriend back home' sometime. If I didn't, she'd start to suspect something. 

"Oh. Where does he work?" 

Jesus christ, woman! Lay off with the questions! 

"Uhhh...." I stalled for time. 

"RUSSO!" A familiar voice bellowed from the front of the barracks. 

Saved by... DS Lovato? But why...? 

I looked at my watch. 8:04pm. Ah, hell. I lost track of time and now I was late. So much for not screwing up anymore. 

"Fuck! Can you watch my weapon, Sanders? I totally forgot about PT with DS Lovato!" I scrambled up. 

She chuckled. "Yeah, I got you. Better not keep her waiting. I don't want her to be even more pissed off at us tomorrow morning for our barracks cleanup..." 

"Thanks!" I set my weapon down - in pieces - on my bunk. 

"Moving, drill sergeant!" I called out, running to the front. 

The girls I passed looked at me akin to how students in school looked at you when you got called to the principal's office or something. 

She was in ACUs still. Damn, was this gonna be an actual PT session? 

I snapped my hands behind my back. "I apologize, drill sergeant, I lost track of time taking my weapon-" 

"I don't wanna hear it, Russo." She glared at me. "What I do want to hear, though, is why the hell you're still in your ACUs! I thought I made it pretty clear you were supposed to be in PT uniform for this!" 

I looked down at myself. Yep, sure enough. Not only was I late, but I hadn't even changed. 0 for 2. 

Damnit, I couldn't catch a break around here for nothing. 

"I... I don't..." I started, but honestly didn't know what my excuse would be. 

"You have two minutes to take your happy ass back to your bunk and get changed into the appropriate uniform. Move!" She barked. 

Ohshitohshitohshitohshit. I ran as fast as I could, taking my jacket top off as I ran and undoing my belt.  

If we could actually leave our lockers open, it would have saved me some time, time I didn't have to be wasting on opening my combination lock. And, naturally, I screwed up my combination twice because I was in a panic trying to open it. 

"SIXTY SECONDS!" DS Lovato shouted. 

I threw my locker open and grabbed a PT uniform. Sanders had thankfully heard this exchange and was standing out of my way on the other side of the bunk. I started to take my pants off then realized my stupid combat boots were still on. 

"Ugh!" I grunted. I tried to unlace them as fast as I could. 

"FORTY SECONDS!" 

I kicked off my boots, practically threw my pants to the floor, and put my PT shorts on. Then I put my shirt on and tucked it into the shorts, as was required, and stepped into my running shoes. I threw my ACUs, in a haphazard pile, into my locker and slammed it shut. 

"TWENTY SECONDS!" 

I gave myself a quick once over and then started running back. 

"Russo! Your-" Sanders started to say. But if I stopped to see what she had said, I wouldn't have made it in time. 

"TEN...NINE...EIGHT...SEVEN..." 

I made it back in front of her before she got to four. I was breathing heavily. What stress to be put under! 

DS Lovato put her hand over her face and shook her head, smirking. Then her face turned serious. 

"Russo, you are FUCKING JOKING ME!" Suddenly her voice raised to an impossible level, which seemed to make everyone in the barracks stop talking, even though she wasn't yelling at them. 

I looked at myself. What the hell did I do this time? I was wearing my PT uniform, running shoes... oh. My socks. I forgot to change my goddamn socks from green to white. 

Yeah, this wasn't gonna be a fun one on one, I could already tell.  

"My socks aren't right, drill sergeant." I addressed her. I was literally shaking. Right now, she was intimidating as hell to me. 

"Yeah, no shit they aren't!" 

I swallowed. 

"THIRTY...TWENTY-NINE...TWENTY-EIGHT..." She started calling out again. 

Well, this was just turning into a clusterfuck. I ran back, took my time opening my locker, grabbed some white socks, changed into them, and was back just in time. 

I stood before her once more. Please god don't have let me forgotten something else... 

"Very nice, Russo. You have now wasted seven minutes of my time. Get in the office." 

I nodded and went inside, tail between my legs. God I am such a fuckup... 

She came in and closed the door, quietly. She walked past me and sat down in her chair. 

"You're making this really hard, you know." She said, shaking her head. 

"I'm sorry, drill sergeant." I apologized, though I didn't really think it would do any good. 

"Sit, Selena." She responded briefly. 

I did, and folded my hands on my lap, not wanting to appear too casual. 

"You know, when I give someone a counseling, normally that motivates them to be extra cognizant of what they do in all other areas. But you... you're killin' me, sweetie." 

I relaxed at her calling me 'sweetie' again. I liked when she called me that. 

"I know! I'm honestly trying... I just... once I mess up once, it's hard for me not to keep doing it..." I trailed off. 

"You know I could technically write you another counseling for that whole uniform fiasco just now?"  

I sighed. "Yes, I know you could..." 

"And if I didn't see so much potential in you... if I didn't like you... I probably would." 

I smiled slightly. "Well... thank you." 

"I can only excuse so much. And I'm not supposed to be excusing anything. This is basic training, this isn't cheer camp. I wish I could tell you just try harder, you'll get it eventually. But I can't. The only thing I can tell you is execute orders as given, and just do." 

I nodded. "I understand that..." 

She shook her head. "I don't think you do, Selena. You can't just keep saying 'I understand' and then failing to execute. This is quite literally the last warning I can give you. After this, I'm gonna have to start writing up all these instances, and let me tell you, paperwork snowballs fast. The commander is gonna see all your counsellings, and you know what he's gonna think?" 

"What?" 

"He's not gonna look down on you, or recommend you for an article 15, like I told you about this morning. He's gonna recommend you be chaptered out of the Army, for failure to adapt. Not everyone can hack this. It's not easy, I know. I was a private in basic years back. I remember how it is to try to learn all these guidelines and be perfect at everything. The thing that would hurt me the most if that were to happen, is knowing that you can do it." She got up out of her chair and leaned against the table. "I want to see you walk across that stage on graduation day. I want to shake your hand and tell you congratulations, you did it. And the part that I don't understand, about myself, is I've never cared this much after only a few days about one of my soldiers. I usually give this speech, if at all, weeks into training." 

Hearing that made my heart soar. Hearing her say she's basically never cared about someone as much as me. 

"Do you want to be here, Selena?" She asked me, her voice sounded a little distraught. 

"Yes! I do! I swear!" Though at this point, I thought that might have more to do with her being here, than just being in the Army in general. 

She shook her head once more. I really wish she'd stop doing that. "Then you are gonna have to work extra hard. I'm talking harder than you've ever worked before for something. If you have to study your field manual - uniform regulations, customs and courtesies, the whole nine yards - every night before you go to sleep, then you better. At this point, after having this many deficiencies - yes, I know they seem really minor to you, but they add up quick; it's not about just doing the right thing. That's already expected of you. What it is now, is that you have to show me that you want to be here." 

I was speechless. I know I'd messed up, but I didn't think I was on the chopping block like she made it sound. 

"I'm gonna take a stab in the dark here, okay? You tell me if I'm right or wrong. Be honest." She sat back down. "You think because I've told you I like you and I see potential in you, that if you just apologize after you mess up, that you'll make it?" 

I pondered this. Well... yeah. Sort of. I hadn't really planned to mess up this much, but I guess I did kind of think because she was on my side I would be able to get away with a little bit... 

"I guess so, yeah..." I admitted. 

She laughed softly. "No, Selena. That's not how this Army thing works. It doesn't matter how much I like you, if you can't follow the basic rules - and trust me, what you're having trouble with now, is just the tip of the iceberg as far as army regulations go - then you will not graduate. It hurts me to think of that happening. Don't think I don't notice that you are trying, but trying is not enough here. Nowhere in the Soldier's Creed does it say 'I will try', it simply says 'I will'." 

I nodded. I wasn't expecting this conversation to be so heavy. She was actually making me feel worried now. I hadn't felt this before. But I wouldn't let us have another conversation like this. I resolved to do exactly what she was asking: to show her I wanted this. I couldn't not graduate. I couldn't go home and tell people I just couldn't hack it. I had too much pride for that. 

"Now, right now, you only have this one negative counseling in your file. That's not enough to get you kicked out. But I'm telling you, those counsellings will start to pile up really fast if you don't start improving. And I don't mean in the next few days you start to mess up less, I mean now, tonight." She walked her chair forward closer to me. "So. We're going to do this the old fashioned way." She held out her hand. "If you shake my hand right now, you swear from this moment forward that you will stop trying and just do." 

I grabbed her hand and shook it. Damn she had quite a grip... 

"Good." She said, then stood up. "Now, since we're both girls, I'm gonna ask you to also hug me. Means more to me than a hand shake anyway." She grinned. 

I thought she'd never ask... 

I wrapped my arms around her back, and she surprised me by settling her hands on the small of my back and pulling me in. There was no way this was a standard military hug that she would give anyone. 

She rested her head on my shoulder and then rubbed my back. "Please make sure our one on ones from now on are going to be me talking about how well you're doing?" She broke the embrace and held my shoulders, looking into my eyes. 

Just like that, all the tension and worries I was previously feeling went away, with her eyes locked on mine. If this was a movie, or maybe a cheap porno, this probably would have been when we started making out and then having sex on her desk. 

I had to mentally slap myself. No, Selena. She said she likes you, but she didn't admit her undying love you for. Yet. 

"Yes, I would like that." I told her. 

She let go of my shoulders, unfortunately, and then sat down in her chair again. I followed suit. 

"Alright. You can go." She told me. 

"Do I have to go?" I asked, automatically. Smooth. 

"Well no, technically I still have you for another..." She looked at her watch. "15 minutes." 

I smiled. 

"But. If I were you and had just been given the talk I gave you, I'd probably go back to my bunk and I dunno... study maybe?" She added. 

Ah, hell. She was basically saying yes, I did have to go. 

I frowned a little. "Okay. You're probably right." 

I got up and headed for the door. Then I was on autopilot again. "This is probably weird but... do you think I could have another hug? I... really like hugs." 

Her hugs at least. Being that close to her. Feeling her holding me. You know. 

She smiled and shook her head. "You're something else. Fine." She stood up and walked over to me. "But no trying to cop a feel." 

I was officially shocked. Where had that come from? 

Now I was incredibly attentive to how I hugged her, so much so it ruined the whole experience. 

"I'm joking." She said, noticing my reaction I guessed. "I mean... don't, but..." She sighed. "I was just trying to be funny." 

I laughed. "If I improve on everything we talk about, you have to let me do something." 

She looked at me, curiously. 

"Help you work on your sense of humor, and loosening up." 

She smirked. "Okay, deal." 

We hugged again, and it seemed like her hands settled even lower than before on my back. That was hardly fair. I couldn't do it, but she could? 

Well... she was the drill sergeant...