|Kat|
Circa 1993
I hid beneath my comforter to block out the rest of the world. I was suffering the worst situation a teenager can face: being dumped. The boy had hardly finished the first date, after the encounter with my father. If that wasn't enough, my older brother had a talk with him once we got home. Needless to say, a second date was not in his plan.
When Stephanie burst into the room, I shot up in anger.
"Steph, I told you to stop barging in my room! Don't you know how to knock?" I yelled.
"Sorry," Steph said, plopping down on the end of the bed. "Why aren't you downstairs watching Raw?"
"It doesn't matter what I watch. Chris doesn't even want to see me anymore, because of Dad and Shane. I'm going to die alone." I flopped back onto my pillows in frustration.
Steph tried to comfort her me in the only way she knew how. "Well, you're going to miss Shawn," she teased. She was referring to Shawn Michaels, the wrestler she knew I had a huge crush on.
Before we knew it, the two of us were bounding down the steps to the living room.
"Girls! Stop running down the stairs! You're 17 and 18 years old, for Christ's sake," Mom scolded.
"Sorry Mom," I apologized, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek. "But I'm not 18 yet."
Mom rolled her eyes but let us go.
Both of us dropped in front of the TV just as Shawn's entrance music hit.
There he was, followed by Diesel. He exuded charisma and confidence. And, God, wasn't he the cutest?
I had been invested in the Heartbreak Kid since he and Marty Jannetty burst onto the WWF scene as the Rockers. I couldn't get enough of his energy. There were few people in the company as talented as him, both in the ring and on the mic.
He was so good at making the audience hate him that sometimes I wondered if he even had to try.
"There's your future husband," Steph joked, making kissing noises at me.
I pushed her away from me. "Shut up. That will never happen."
Even if, in some bizarre alternate world, Shawn and I met... my dad would never let that happen. It was just a dumb little daydream I would grow out of eventually.
***
I stood with my father on his back porch, taking in the scene in front of us. Past the pool, there was a swarm of people preparing for the day. One team was setting up corrals and bringing in farm animals, while the other was blowing up inflatables. Not to mention the decorations Dad had ordered, which were littered everywhere. Throughout the house, the backyard, and all the way down the driveway.
I couldn't even find the proper words. "Wow. This is..."
"I know, not quite up to scratch," he said, sounding disappointed. "The catering I usually order was booked, but this should be fine. I can't even tell you how many hoops I had to jump through for the petting zoo, and then they say they could only bring three ponies due to 'lack of resources'."
"Dad, this is insane! I was thinking of a small gathering of our family and friends, not a three ring circus." I gestured towards the disarray happening on his property. "This is over-the-top, you have to admit. Scottie is literally going to be the only child here!"
"Is it wrong for me to want to spoil my only grandchild?"
I took a deep breath. This conversation was not going to get anywhere other than possibly making me look like the asshole. I guess I should have been grateful he cared so much about Scottie.
"No, you're right. Thank you for hosting her party," I was thankful that Dad had gone out of his way to throw this for Scottie. It took the pressure off of me, at least. "You have fun directing traffic, I'm going inside. People should be arriving soon."
My sense of time was accurate. As soon as I walked into the front room, Paul and Steph came through the door. Scottie, who had previously been playing quietly with Leslie, jumped up to greet them.
We gave our round of hugs and I thanked them for coming. Paul picked Scottie up and walked over to chat with Leslie. Steph asked me where our wonderful parents were.
"Dad is out back supervising chaos, and Mom is micro-managing the catering staff."
"Oh god, she's in the kitchen? I'll save them," she said, heading that direction.
Not too long after, Shawn arrived, with Cameron. I couldn't believe I had forgotten about his son. At least there would be another kid to enjoy the chaos out back.
"Am I in the right place?" he asked when I opened the door. "You said this was just a small thing."
I rolled my eyes. "It was supposed to be, but Dad got a little carried away."
Scottie ran over to us, and Shawn crouched down to hug her.
"Hey, sweetheart. Happy birthday."
"Did you bring me a present?" she asked excitedly.
"Scottie, where are your manners?" I asked.
"Please?"
Shawn laughed softly. "I sure did." He handed her a box wrapped in pink paper. I wondered if he knew that was her favorite.
She took it from him and gestured for him to follow her, which he did. He carried Cameron, who looked sleepy from the car ride, on one hip.
"Uncle Paul, Uncle Paul! Come look!" Scottie tugged on his pant leg until he paid attention to her.
The two of them followed her to the corner of the room, where her presents were being kept until it was time to open them. She piled Shawn's on top of the rest. Half of them were from Mom and Dad, as much as I tried to limit them.
"Woah! Who are all those for?" Paul asked.
Scottie pointed to herself. "Me!"
Paul scooped her up and tickled her until she couldn't stop giggling.
"What do you need all those presents for?" He asked once she calmed down.
"My birfday."
"Your birthday? Are you turning... 24?"
"No, silly," she stuck her little tongue out at him.
"How old are you, then?"
"Four."
"Four! You're a big girl now."
"How old are you?" She asked.
"33."
She wrinkled her nose. "That's old."
Paul laughed. "I know. And your daddy is even older than me."
Scottie looked at him with wide eyes. "Really?"
Shawn nodded. "Really."
"How old are you?" Scottie asked.
"37," he answered.
"That's really old," she said, crinkling her little nose.
The boys got a kick out of that one.
"He is, isn't he?" Paul said, playfully elbowing Shawn.
"Hey, you're not that much younger than he is," I cut in. "You're no spring chicken, big brother."
"Whatever. I'm younger and hotter and we all know it. Come on, Les, back me up," he called to my boyfriend, who was watching this unfold from the couch.
"Oh, for sure." Leslie sent him a wink. "If I wasn't with Kat, man... and I swung that way... I'd be all over you."
Paul laughed heartily and set Scottie down. He and Leslie decided to go check on how things were going outside.
"Scottie, why don't you show Cam your toys?" I suggested. Being the only grandchild, she wasn't used to having kids her age around. I figured it would be good for the two of them to play together.
Shawn set Cameron down so he could play. Scottie started showing him all the different dolls, cars, and blocks she had decided to bring.
Shawn and I stepped back towards the hall, so we could supervise but still talk about adult matters. "I, uh, actually brought something else. It's for Scottie, but I thought you could hold on to it until she's old enough to appreciate it."
He pulled a framed photo from his coat pocket, which I recognized as soon as I held it in my hands.
It was of Shawn, Paul, and I when we were in New York. I was on Shawn's back because my feet had gotten tired, and I was resting my head on his shoulder. Paul stood beside us as he took the picture on one of my old disposable cameras. The three of us looked so happy to be together.
"It's the only one you left in the house," he said. He started fidgeting with his hands and looked away. "I wasn't sure you'd even want it."
"Shawn... I haven't seen this in years," Tears welled up in my eyes at the memories. I wouldn't let them fall. "Thank you. I have the rest, at the house. All the pictures I took of us on the road. Actually, I might have left some here. Hold on."
I had always been a sucker for pictures. My mom kept binders full of photos of us when we were younger, and I used to spend hours poring over them.
I followed in her footsteps when I became an adult. I had a whole shelf in my house dedicated to pictures of Shawn, Paul and I on the road, Leslie and I hanging out, and all of Scottie's baby pictures.
I hurried upstairs to my old bedroom, the one I had grown up in and had moved back into after the breakup. I opened the bedside drawer to find a small pile of photos from the 90s that I had forgotten to pack.
I brought them back downstairs for Shawn to see. "Here's one of us in a hotel room, and here's a meet and greet somewhere, and this is one I took of you and Paul on the overseas tour."
The last few images in the stack were of Shawn and I on the couch at his mother's house. "Looks like Mama took these ones," I said. "She was right about your smile, you know. It doesn't look genuine here."
Shawn was quiet for a minute, taking it all in. I was sure he hadn't seen any of these since they were taken.
"Wow, you kept all of these?" He asked, picking them up to look at them.
"Of course I did. Oh my, Look how young we looked."
Looking over Shawn's shoulder at these old pictures brought back so many fun memories of being on the road. Though I knew it wasn't all fun, I only got out the camera for the good times.
Steph startled me by walking up behind us and laying a hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing?"
"Just going down memory lane," I answered. I took the photos back.
Shawn cleared his throat and rocked on his feet. "I should, uh, go see what the guys are up to. Uh, can you keep an eye on Cam for me?"
I nodded. "Of course."
He hurried off toward the back porch.
"That was weird," Steph said, walking past me to sit on the couch.
I joined her after setting the pictures aside with my things to take home. Scottie and Cameron were still happily chattering away in front of us.
"What do you mean?"
"Didn't he seem... strange? Like he was afraid to talk to me."
"Why would he-- what did you do?" I crossed my arms.
"Nothing, I swear." She held her hands up in surrender. "Oh... I suppose it could be the time I threatened to call the police on him if he showed up here again."
"What?" I exclaimed. "You never told me about this."
"It would've just upset you. He came here one night after the breakup looking for you and I told him to leave. That was all. That was years ago, he can't seriously still be afraid to talk to me."
Steph and I were very close, and I knew there was no way she politely asked him to leave.
"You're intimidating when you're protective," I told her. "He's probably just trying to make as little of a disruption as possible."
I knew inviting Shawn had the potential to cause problems, but I wasn't going to let that prevent him from seeing his daughter. He had a right to attend Scottie's birthday party.
I also knew Shawn wasn't like he used to be. Instead of seeking conflict, he was trying to avoid it. He more than likely expected an earful from Steph, and was trying to not let it happen.
"Didn't you invite Joli?" she asked.
I remembered how Joli reacted to the news of Shawn finding out about Scottie. I winced in anticipation of how she would react to seeing him in person.
"Of course I did. But you know her. She's always late, and if Shawn leaves early..."
"Kat, there's no way you can avoid this."
I knew she was right. One way or another, I was going to have to endure the blowup. But I could at least stall it.
When Joli and Kev came through the door, I jumped up in attempts to delay disaster for as long as possible.
"Kev, the guys are out back." I quickly wrapped an arm around Joli's. "Come on, I need some fresh air." I pulled her back toward the door.
As confused as she likely was, she let me drag her onto the front porch.
"I could always use a smoke," she said, pulling her cigarettes and lighter from her purse.
"It's a mess. Dad has totally gone overboard." I sank into one of the chairs that littered the porch as Joli leaned against the banister.
As much as this was mainly an excuse to keep Joli away from Shawn and stall the inevitable, I was relieved that Joli was there. I needed a chance to calm down, and maybe rant a little.
"That's your old man for you." She exhaled smoke towards the driveway. "There's not a subtle bone in his body."
I had to laugh. "You're not wrong. It's the McMahon dramatics. I swear it's in our blood."
"I'm still not sure how you and Stephanie turned out alright," she said.
"How about Shane?"
"Not sure about him yet." Joli shrugged. "Might have too much Vince in him."
We chatted a bit more, and joked about my family, while Joli finished her cigarette. As soon as she was done with her smoke break, though, she was ready to go inside. She was almost giddy at the idea of seeing Scottie for the first time in a while.
"Come on, I want to see the birthday girl."
"No!" I panicked at the thought of her going inside. "I mean, we have all day. Can't we just stay out here a little longer? Really, there's too many people in there."
She gave me a strange look. "This place is huge. We can find somewhere to hide out after I see Scottie. We can bring her with us for girl talk."
I reluctantly followed her in and nearly walked into the back of her. Joli had stopped dead in her tracks, and my heart dropped to my stomach. I didn't even get the chance to prepare her.
Shawn was sitting in the living room floor with Scottie and Cameron, playing with cars. When he caught Joli's gaze, however, he looked as if he would like to be just about anywhere else. I couldn't blame him.
Always the mediator, I tried to prevent the imminent blowup. I grasped Joli's shoulders and turned her to look at me. Still, she craned her neck to glare at Shawn.
"I know this a shock," I said. God, I wished I had said something before now. In hindsight, that would have given her time to adjust and cool down. "I invited him, he's here for Scottie. We all are."
"That's rich," she scoffed. "He's here for Scottie until when? Until he decides he isn't anymore, like when he abandoned you?"
I couldn't stop my jaw from dropping. "I--"
"Kat, you only say he's changed because of what people have told you," she said. "You don't really know what he's like now."
"I've been on the road with him, he..."
"He's told you want you want to hear. I don't trust him." Luckily she was speaking low enough so only I could hear her. "I don't think you should either."
"I'm trying to be the bigger person and let him spend time with his daughter," I replied. "I trust him enough to invite him here. I promise, I'm handling this just fine."
She wasn't even looking at me, but still giving Shawn the death stare over my shoulder. I could practically see the waves of rage coming off of her. Joli wanted what was best for Scottie and I, I knew that. I did too and I believed Shawn could fit in that picture.
"Just fine? Kat, you're blind! That man-" she pointed wildly in his direction as she raised her voice, "shouldn't be anywhere near here! You're setting yourself and Scottie up for more heartbreak!"
I knew she meant well and her anger wasn't aimed at me, but it was difficult to keep that in mind when she was spewing venom right in front of me.
Shawn stood and walked over to us and I wanted to plead, just sit down and stay quiet. The only thing he could possibly do would be piss her off more.
"Jolene. I know we haven't always seen eye to eye, but I'm willing to put that behind us." He stuck his hand out for her to shake.
Bad move.
She looked at his hand in disgust. "If it weren't for Kat, I would never look you in the eye again."
I could see her gearing up for a shouting match, before Kev stepped in. "Babe, do you really want to cause a scene here? At Scottie's party of all places?" he asked her.
The realization of why we were all here softened her expression. She held a particular soft spot in her heart for Scottie, just like we all did. I was sure Joli didn't want to scare her like the last time we visited.
I glanced that way, but my little girl was still playing and babbling with Cameron as if nothing was going on.
"Will you play nice just for today? For Scottie's sake?" Kev asked.
For all of our sake, more like.
"Please," I added.
She hated when we ganged up on her like that, I was sure. Finally she let out an exasperated sigh. "Fine."
In Joli's definition, "playing nice" was kindly pretending Shawn did not exist. That was the most we could ask for, given the circumstances.
She didn't spare him another look and left our little huddle to greet Scottie. Scottie immediately lead her over to the pile of presents, like she had with everyone else.
"I'm sorry, Kat," Shawn said. For a moment, I couldn't figure out what for. "I didn't realize my being here would cause such a stir."
"It's not your--" Well, it kind of was his fault. "She means well. I wouldn't hold your breath for forgiveness, though. She holds grudges."
"I can see that."
Kev slapped him on the shoulder. "Come on, let's get something to drink. Don't worry about Joli, you're not getting anywhere for a while." They walked toward the dining room where the food had been laid out.
After a moment, Leslie walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I wasn't even sure where he had been, and if he had witnessed the near explosion. He brought his lips close to my ear so he wouldn't make a scene.
"You didn't tell me Shawn would be here," he said softly.
"I didn't?" I must have gotten so wrapped up in everything else that I forgot to inform Leslie.
"I'm not upset, a heads up just would have been nice." He sounded a little hurt, which I understood. If I didn't tell him about Shawn, he wasn't ready for Joli's reaction either.
I turned in his arms so I could face him. "I'm sorry. You're right; I should have included you in the discussion."
"You don't need to ask my permission, Kat. He's her father, he has every right to be here. I just think I have a right to be told."
"Everything has been so crazy lately, my schedule has been--"
"I know. I know." He gave me a soft kiss. "Are you okay? You've been off lately."
"Yeah, I'm fine. You know how I am, just stressed."
"It's not that," he said. "You seem... distant."
"I know I'm gone a lot more now, but this could be great for us." I took his hand in mine. "My character hasn't had a stable storyline like this in at least a year. Plus, this is extra money we can put towards Scottie."
"I just want to make sure you're okay."
"I promise, I'm doing fine." How many more times did I have to promise that?
"Well good, because I have a surprise for you," he smiled. "A little ditty I wrote called 'Katherine'."
Leslie knew how to cheer me up. Even after the stress of everything, I had to grin.
We would be alright as long as the rest of the day went on without a hitch. Luckily, there were no more blowups. Some tension, sure, but that was to be expected. What mattered to me was that Scottie had a good time with her favorite people. With the exception of her Uncle Shane, most of the people she loved most were there.
Of course she loved gifts and toys, what four year old wouldn't? But all she wanted to do with them was show all of us and have us play with her. That made my heart happy. She was growing up so fast, and I wanted to make sure she was growing up right.
I questioned myself fairly often and wondered if I was a good mother. Seeing my daughter's face light up when she got to jump in a huge bounce castle and ride a pony was the only answer I needed.
We would be just fine.
-----
-A/N-
undisputedtori is so sweet and made the lovely new cover for this book!! Go check out her graphics, they're beautiful. Thanks again, love!
I know I apologize like every chapter and then every chapter I disappear again for a few months BUT: I'm sorry. This is a massive chapter, though. I can't guarantee there will be another chapter soon, but I will say I've been thinking about Shawtherine a lot lately.
Gotta say, I am siding with Joli a little here. Just saying, sis has some points...