an : hi y'all !! i have SO MUCH DIALOGUE I JUS GOTTA WRITE IT AAA , didn't think it'd get this much notice , so i'll try and update regularly- somewhat ..
there's a lot more i wish i wrote beforehand but i'll see if i can jump it in somewhere
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blue eyes feel towards the warmth of the hand onto of another, his own lips twitching in a bit of a smile that faded almost as quick as it came , mixed and hidden amongst a confused look." so , you're saying someone told you we are connected . . written by history to be in each other's lives ? well . . that'd make a lot of sense then . " he watched Merlin for a moment rather glad he had looked down so he could speak . " when I came back , i thought of you , needed to know where you were . i blamed it on the fact I died in your arms but I suppose i could admit i was concerned where you were . "
" makes more sense when you say it aloud i spouse . . " he lets out a small laugh , giving a simple nod , looking back up to catch his gaze again , taking in his features like he always did , out of habit really , finding one small thing to take note of . .
" i mean i was the last face that you saw . . itd only make sense if it - felt like you were only asleep like you said . . if anything id be the same - "
" yeah... suppose so," he let his eyes trail away while listening to Merlin, brows furrowed in a small frown as he scoffed.
" yes it did but . . " but it felt like more than just some simple concern as to where he was but even when Arthur went to speak of it he didn't , though he supposed he could let it go now. if they were connected as Merlin said then that would explain the emotions . finally the king pulled his hand back after it had lingered for so long and let it rest in his lap again
" . . gwen looks upon me strangely now , i know she doesn't mean to but I catch her doing so - "
merlin lets him do so , dropping his own back to his lap , even if he missed something but a simple touch , as a brow raises , giving him his full attention as he spoke , " sire , i - im sure its nothing ,, probably just - taking it in — in the fact that your back . . i mean if anything its like . . seeing a ghost - i - not trying to be rude ,, i , as im glad - that your back ,, its just - a little strange - especially after how long - itd of been - "
the king shook his head at this and gave a small sigh ." Arthur . . . when it's like this - when we are alone , it's just Arthur . . " if anything . . he did die in the mans arms
that pulls them past the namely status but Arthur pulled back on himself , his eyes trailing over to Merlins window.
" yes well, it seems everyone is looking at me differently now , testing trying to see if it's truly me who's back or if it's just my face . . after all they do say when you crawl from your grave something's get left behind . but it is me. i haven't changed . "
" sorry — its out of habit - " he muttered sheepishly with a small laugh , even after all these years , it just ,, it stuck with him , sure he saw him more than a king , but a friend but he still put it with the list of names he had in his head .
himself sitting back slightly as he tugs a leg up to his chest , chin sitting on his knee , taking it in to the point where he could see his blue hues shine , the small crack of light peaking through from the small window , causing a small smile to crawl onto his lips again , remaining silent as he listens , " . . i believe you ,, i know its you - your the only person whod understand my insults ,, " yet ,, not only that ,, he could feel it , that half that'd of been missing after he died,, it felt whole again -
arthur found himself smiling at that, his own remark coming softer and with a small curl of his lip ." well , it's better than prat."
he leaned back a bit to stretch, eyes shifting to look down at the cold stone floor." well you spend so much time spewing them it's hard not to understand your insults . . " his smile didn't reach his eyes though , something clearly lingering on the princes mind as his attention turned back to the light rising from the window , he had spent a good portion of his time speaking with merlin , they'd be together as the sun rose to wake for morning .
shifting a hand up with a smile he nudges his shoulder gently ,, dropping it afterwards " the thing is - i have no one else to say em to really ,, but . . your right ; you are a prat and you know it - " he responds with a raised brow , following his gaze for a moment ,, a sigh escaping his pursed lips , himself realising that time had passed ,, more than he realised
" you need it more than me ,, sleep that is - otherwise youll be a grumps — why dont you go back - get some rest and ill wake you in a bit - " sure , again , he couldn't tell his stubborn ass what to do , but it was important && tended to worry more than he use to
arthur smiled once more at the nudge , his eyes rolling a bit." you know I could still have you in the stocks ." it was a warning that held no bite as often so but Arthur did stand at Merlins suggestion and gave a small nod . " i suppose i should head back , i have kept you up for awhile . " with that Arthur headed for the door but stopped just as he reached it , turning to face him once more .
" merlin . . thank you "
his manservant shakes his head with a chuckle , he hadn't changed one bit - but it was worth it in the end .
hearing his name his eyes cast up && he almost froze , as that day happened to come back in his mind , when he looked down at him and gave him the most reassuring smile ever , that it let him know itd be okay in the end , despite being able to save him or not . he sat himself up straight , letting his lips curve upward slightly
" . . right back at you - "
at this the blonde gave him one last smile but it has yet to reach his eyes , something hidden in the way it seemed to fall quickly as he turned his back and slipped out of the room quietly like he was never there .
rubbing a hand over his eyes Arthur made his way back towards his chambers , he didn't have all the answers but he knew it would come to him in time . . knew he felt somewhat better by sitting there talking to merlin alone and by the time he was back to where he had resided the king was able to slip into bed , letting his eyes slip shut for a little while of peace .
as the door shut behind the blonde , merlins own smile fades . gone once again , feeling his heart sink in a way , if anything if he could — spend every second of his life beside him , yet clearly that'd be impossible . his eyes fall shut for a moment as the blondes words trail in his mind , shaking his head as he bundles back under the sheets , mumbling a spell under his breath — causing the small candle beside him to light . he knew he wasn't going to get much , so he decided to read his book for a bit instead as he propped his knees up to sit it at his lap .
as the light from the sun through the the window caught his eye , thats his cue to get up — or the bells ringing in the grounds , dressing himself in his usual attire , followed by a red handkerchief around his neck && his boots before he makes his way out ,, if anything it felt weird doing his chores again , but - it was nice to get back into the swing of things , along the way he grabs the king's breakfast before reaching his chambers - quietly setting the food down on the table && the blonde couldn't help but catch his eye , how stupidly innocent he looked . . sighing as he walked over to open the curtains , daylight shining through as it blinds himself for a minute , turning on his heels && clears his throat
" rise an- shake a l- no hes gonna hate me for that — " he mumbles to himself -
the blonde woke rather sluggishly , his head remained squished against the pillow he had with his bottom lip jutting just a bit before blue eyes pulled opened rather slowly and all too quickly closed against the blinding light as he turned his head to bury it in the pillow , his face squished with a small groan .
" go away mer - merlin ." was all he got in response from the sleepy king , a hand moving to pull the sheets up more over himself the blonde was really regretting his sleepless night
merlins blue hues were looking upward as he was thinking of something to say — until the blonde spoke , snapping him out of his thoughts . hands makes there way to his hips && his raven brows rose " ah — still an ass huh - " a huff escapes his lip , " . . dont make me drag you - " he responds, falling quiet as he walks over to the wooden cupboard , pulling out some fresh clothes && sets them on the end of the bed - gaze shifting to him with a small smile, may of not been evident but he was
" shut up . " the lump spoke with a crumble and unconsciously curled in on itself more as the blonde king tried to make it difficult for merlin . Arthur was never and still isn't a morning person , he was half tempted to just play unresponsive but knew the other would probably freak out so instead he simply pulled the pillow out from under his head and put it over his head successfully hiding from the light and the annoying voice bugging him .
a sigh escapes his lips , thinking for a minute as not a word more escaped his lip , he may of been the king , but gwen could still give orders && she seemed to have been long gone - plus he did have to run errands for giaus .
" . . fine , you win this time - " he says to himself , as his eyes that were once blue , flashed gold && watched as the sheets shift up to the others shoulder . turning on his heels as he heads over to a small set of drawers , pulling out a familiar comb , setting it atop of his clothes before making his way out . he wouldn't be long && would be back , but figured the blonde needed time .
arthur lifted his head with a small squint at the lights when he felt the sheets shift up , blonde hair sticking up in places the king watched merlin walk out . he should get up . . should do his duties . . it is improper for the king to sleep in but merlin left him and he certainly wasn't dragging him out of bed . .
with a small huff the man plopped his head back down and let his eyes close sleep outweighing much if not all of his rational thinking as to what he should be doing . . besides he trusted in merlin , if he needed to be up he would've been dragged from the bed .
making his way down the steps he makes his way toward the garden to collect the herbs his mentor needed , followed by gathering bread && amongst other things . just to pass time , he really did question what he saw in him sometimes but something as simple as staying up && to be by his side - that was enough to show that cared . no . him being alive was enough . deciding to show that he did in return .
yet as hes done his chores once again , as time had of passed , he makes his way back , sure he felt like he was walking in circles but as if that was new — poking his head in before entering " . . alright you lazy daisy — "
surprisingly arthur was actually up when merlin had returned , though his hair was still up and out of place , his eyes hazy with sleep and his sleep clothes were still on he has managed to get up just to bring the breakfast tray over and was now seated on the bed , munching quietly on the breakfast Merlin brought him earlier . the blondes eyes narrowed at said man when he entered mainly due to the nickname but he had yet to say anything , mouth otherwise occupied
merlin shuffles his way forward , hands weaved behind his back && stops a few meters in front of him — && he just smiles back in response, before it fades quickly , gaze falling to his feet " . . you know ive said worse - " he mutters , falling quiet , causing himself up gulp slightly && chew the inside of his cheek. as he waits for his orders to be called , he hadn't of changed, hed still at least try to be patient && would take whatever came upon him , wether it be good or bad , hed be willing to face it . he couldn't help but admit, it was nice to have things the way they used to be
arthur watched him come in , taking a moment to keep silent , to watch and collect himself before he was standing and pulling off his nightshirt and tossing it to the floor ready to change ." it's going to take me a few days to be caught up on all that I have missed . I need to go through and see how Guinevere has been handling everything which I know is very well but simply to catch - up "
his manservant blinks , trying his best to advert his gaze - distracting himself as he picks up what the other would have dropped , setting it atop of a chair before shuffling around to grab the shirt he put out for him earlier , nodding in response , as he thinks for a moment , stepping in front of him again with the fabric bundled in his hands " . . perhaps the two of you could have a picnic ,, out in the forest - or . . something - "
the blonde stood straighter but held his arms up slightly ready for the other to slip his shirt on as his brow furrowed in thought .
" perhaps , yes . . you pack and ready the horses for the picnic I will see to it that she is free for the afternoon to come with me , perhaps then things will start to return to normal . " it wasn't just the queen Arthur concerned himself over . . . the fact that arthur hadn't felt the same since he came back also worried him . if he truly thought he wasn't sure what he felt if Guinevere anymore and that was solely because of the revelation he had come to accept dying , one he planned to take to the grave once more .
his blue hues casted up , slipping his shirt through the kings head && arms , the one thing he almost forgot was the fact that he didn't even know how to dress himself ,, he knew be was an idiot but - to the point where it was as simple as putting something on .. then again - as always - it was worth it . merlin nods , as he spoke , chewing the inside of his cheek,, a usual habit " . . will do , but like i said - stop overthinking it - it's going to be okay ,, trust me on this - "
Arthur let his arms drop once his shirt was on, his body moving already to pull the rest of his night clothes off so he could very well be dressed for the day .
" merlin , im not overthinking you have no idea what im doing I'm . . thinking reasonable . . . now of course i wish to trust you however it's more complicated than you may know . "
" i - im sorry ,, you're right - im just . . trying to help - " he mutters softly , before falling quiet . if anything he felt bad , as he didn't want the other to stress out as much as he had of , what he'd of been through, even if he couldn't, if he didn't know what was going through the others head , that's what made it worse for himself . but sure , he'd try to leave it be. can't say itd constantly be in the back of his mind though.
sighing , he grabs his pants with a pair of socks , boots sat at the edge of the bed && hands them over figuring they'd be easy enough to put on , before bundling his sleepwear into his arms . " . . i'll go pack- "
he let out a heavy sigh knowing he had gone too far now but silence was the only thing that came from him . there were things lingering over his mind , things he tried to push and play with . . manipulate them into something they weren't just so he didn't have to face this. .
he moved to sit at the edge of his own bed as well busying himself with putting his boots on . " right "
he didn't even look up at merlin , things were different now , and they would forever be different and what frustrated arthur the most is he couldn't stop them .
however he recognized his flaw , he can't take it out on merlin because it wasn't his fault . . he is not in control of Arthur's feelings nor is he capable of moving them from one person to another . after he adjusted his belt and gave another sigh for good measure arthur went out to find gwen to invite her for a picnic .
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i'm almost at 3000 words holy crap
ima stop here
unless you want me to make longer pages ?
more to come :)