Harry's P.O.V
I woke up the next morning, and fear ran through me. I was so terrified. I can't get bullied here, my parents don't have enough money to move us again because I get bullied, so, if I do, I can't let it get to me. Well, at least I know Louis is attracted to me. Even if it's in private. He still likes me, he just can't show his affection. So, that might get me through the day. Although, I hate the fact that I can't say hi to him at all. I was about to get ready for school when I realized, it's Saturday. So, I lay back down and stared at the blank ceiling for a while. Not wanting to get out of bed, but, when I remembered I had homework, I knew I needed to get up. I got up, got my textbook out of my backpack and started my math homework. I got distracted halfway through when Lindsey called me, though. "Hello?" I whispered to the phone.
"Hey! Where have you been? I didn't see you at school all day, and when I called you yesterday, you didn't pick up! What's up? Are you okay?"
"Lindsey," I breathed. "It's happening again."
"What's it?" She seemed cautious, like she knew but she wasn't sure.
"The bullying. You know how Louis kissed me last night?" Without waiting for her to answer, I continued. "Well, today he told me he was attracted to me, but his reputation would be at stake if he came out as gay. So he's still pretending to be straight. However, that's not why I went home. His friend, the one who invited me to the game, shoved me on the ground, spilling all my schoolwork and called me a fag. Louis did nothing to help, and I bet him and his group are gonna bully me so Louis can draw any sort of suspicion that he likes me. I'm terrified, Lindsey. I don't know what to do."
"Harry, you're going to be fine. If they ever call you a name like that again, I'm beating them up, all right?"
"Okay, okay. Thank you." I said, "Listen. I gotta do my homework. I'll call you later."
"Alrighty, nerd. Bye." She chuckled and hung up. I shook my head and laughed and continued homework.
Pretty soon, my mum came into my room. "Honey, you want some breakfast?" My dad appeared behind her, they had worry expressions. I guess they worried with the whole...situation, I might get bad again.
Looking at my mum, and how scared she looked for me, I knew I needed to not drag her into this anymore. If I'm bullied at school anymore, I'm not telling my family. So they don't worry. When I go back to school Monday, I'm going to tell them that they were just joking around and they considered me a friend rather than them actually harassing me.
"Yeah," I forced a smile. "Pancakes?"
"Of course," a look of relief spread across her face as she left the room, as soon as she left the smile left my face and I went back to my cold hard stare as I finished my homework. After I finished my homework, I went down to the kitchen table to eat breakfast. I saw the pancakes set out, with orange juice. My parents were already sitting and talking in hushed voices, they stopped as I entered the room. I knew they were talking about me.
"Son, listen, I heard about your little problem at school with bullies...is that why you had to switch schools last time?" He said.
"Yes," I said. I was confused.
"You were bullied for being gay? How come you didn't tell me?" He looked really hurt.
"I wasn't ready to come out to you yet...listen, can we not talk about this?" I said, taking my seat.
"Yes, of course," he said, we started eating and started casual conversations.
"Did you finish your homework?" My mum asked as she began to clear the table.
"Yes, Mum," I told her.
"You want to go to the grocery store really quick? We're out of milk." She handed me some money and went back to cleaning the dishes.
"Sure," I remembered that we were within walking distance of it.
I put on a sweater and headed out the door, I walked for a bit and whistled. I decided not to be scared of this whole gay thing. Plus, there was only two people who know that I'm actually gay. The others are all playing along. And, I know one of the people won't tell. And if the other does, I'll tell about them too. So, really, I'm secret safe. The others are just calling me that for no reason, and they can't really tease me! And if it gets any worse, I'll go to the principal.
I entered the grocery store and went down the aisles to get milk, then I got a text from my mom. It said: "Gave you extra money, get a candy bar or something while you're at it... :)" I smiled at the text and went to get milk, and I also got a Hershey's chocolate bar. As I was walking, I was playing on my phone when I bumped into someone. I looked up, it was Louis. He was alone. I felt myself tense up. This was the moment of truth, would he be so dense as to bully me when I have a secret held over his head, will he ignore me, or will he try to work things out? I was really hoping for the ladder.
He looked at me, his expression was unreadable. "Sorry," he said dismissively, moving along. That's what he chose then. To ignore me. As soon as he left, I felt my heart clench up. He's my whole world. I can now safely say I'm in love with him. I know, I'm young, but he's all I want. He's my entire world and life, and now he won't even take a moment to greet me properly.
"Louis," I spoke before I could stop myself.
He turned around. "Yeah?"
"I just want you to know something." I said. I didn't know where I was going with this, but I'm sure I'll figure it out in the spur of the moment.
"And that is?" He said, looking at me. Waiting.
"Remember what happened?"
He looked around, praying no one heard me. "Yes," he whispered, walking closer so that I wasn't yelling down the aisle to him.
He got close, he was much taller than me. He looked down at me, and I had an overwhelming urge to kiss him, to run my hands through his perfect brown hair and then have him wrap his arms around me, kiss my forehead and tell me he loved me. However, I knew that wasn't going to happen, so I spoke. "That was my first kiss, and you stole it. You stole something that meant so much to me, and now you just left me here. So, thanks. It may not have been that special to you, but it meant a lot to me. So thanks again, for breaking my heart. And bringing back the bullying into my life." I told him.
I started to turn and walk away, when he told me to wait. "Harry, stop," he pleaded. I turned around.
"What?" I snapped.
"You don't think that meant something to me? It meant a lot to me. Why do you think I did it? Harry, you mean a lot to me. We just can't be together."
"Whatever, keep using that as your excuse. For your stupid 'reputation.' You make me sick. You know why? Because I love you." I whispered. "I can honestly say I love you, you're my world. You go ahead and play around with these stupid girls who mean nothing to you, meanwhile you'll always remember that I could've been there for you when you needed someone, instead of one of your stupid jock friends who don't even know the real you. Now, I'm going home." I turned around and he yelled my name, but I didn't turn around, because tears were streaming down my cheeks. I paid for the milk and candy, and decided I don't even want the candy anymore. I'll bring it home to my mom as a surprise.
On the way back, I was crying. But I had to stop at the beginning of the street and wait a bit so I didn't show up crying, I fixed my face as best as I could, I hope it didn't look like I cried earlier. I walked in the door, sniffed slightly and put on my best smile. "Hey! I brought back the milk." I gave my mum a kiss on the cheek.
"Honey? Are you okay? You look like you've been crying." She said, wrapping an arm around me.
"Really? Huh. I didn't cry or anything. That's weird." I decided to change the subject quickly. "Hey, I got chocolate but decided I don't really want it. So, you can have it." I shoved the candy bar into her hands before she could protest. I could feel the tears beginning to well up. "I'm gonna go...call my friend," I said lamely, running upstairs.
I threw myself on the bed and began crying, how could he hurt me this much but my heart still longs for his love? I yearn for his touch, and crave his sweet voice to tell me everything I want to hear. That he loved me, and everything would be all right.
I heard my door open, I kept my face in the pillow as best I could and tried not to cry. Then, they set something on my bed and I heard the door shut. It was the candy bar, with a note on it: "Honey, I understand you might not want me prying into your life, but if something's bothering you, then you can tell me. I love you, and you deserve this chocolate. Feel better. -Mum :)" I started to tear up at the note. My mum is the best.