The Impact of Replacing Dialogue Tags with Action!
— Angie Writes
This is such a basic tip that is often overlooked. Of course, I’d lose all credibility if I were to say, “delete all dialogue tags!! It flows much better!! Dialogue tags lose the reader!!”
Because, yes, dialogue tags (whether you use “he said” or “he whispered”) are important. But I’m here to tell you that replacing them with a line of action is an instant improvement.
Need some proof? Here’s a line with a dialogue tag:
“Isabel?” she said. “I never cared for her.”
And here’s that same line, with an action in place of the tag:
“Isabel?” She leaned back in her seat, picking at her fingernail. “I never cared for her.”
See how much better that looks? And it’s an amazing way to include characterization without pulling your reader out of the story.
On the same note – you can use this trick to emphasize emotion without the use of tags like “she whimpered,” “he murmured,” etc. An example:
“Are you even listening to me?” he yelled.
Versus this slight change, replacing the tag with action:
He slammed his hands on the desk. “Are you even listening to me?”
Okay, one more:
“He’s staring at you,” she whispered.
Compared with:
She leaned in close to my ear. “He’s staring at you.”
It’s a simple change, but the impact is noticeable. Replacing the dialogue tag with a simple action flows better, incorporates character quirks, and keeps the reader engaged.