His laughter was cut when the door opened revealing Cyclone without Ada. Right there, we already knew what happened. He roamed his eyes around the room as he smile but it didn't reached his eyes.
"Kumain na kayo?" he asked like nothing happened. Na parang wala padin kaming clue.
"Yeah. So how was it?" Cane asked, standing up. Pinatong niya yong beer sa mini table.
He shrugged, "May emergency sa kanila, hinatid ko muna siya bago niya ako pinauwi." It wasn't a lie and I felt relieved. "Babalik din ako don, kukuha lang akong damit."
This thing between him and Ada really scares me. Minsan gusto ko nalang mangyari para tapos na pero minsan ayoko din muna kasi.. matatapos na. Their relationship's really complicated from the very start hindi ko alam na may mas ilalala pa. Hindi pa sila sa lagay na'yan.
"Ansel fell asleep." He noticed. "Dito na kayo matulog, hindi na magigising yan." Dagdag niya.
He went inside his room at sumunod naman si Cane. I looked at Ansel bago siya ginising ng marahan.
"Uuwi na tayo."
She groaned as she turned her back on me. Eto ang hirap sa kanya pag napapasarap ang tulog. Kahit gising na siya di siya babangon kundi tutulog lang ulit.
"Don't bother waking her up. Hurri's sleeping on the sofa, you two in my room." Naka-balik na agad si Cy bago yumuko para buhatin si Ansel. She groaned again before nuzzling his neck.
I know they both love someone else now.. yet sometimes I can't help but wonder 'what if'. What if they didn't got so scared? Siguro sila? Maybe Ansel's not in a long distance relationship with Cy's older brother and maybe Cy's not in a complicated state right now. They sacrificed their possible love story for friendship. I still find it kinda tragic because they're perfect together.. they were once so in love..
I can't still imagine how they moved-on flawlessly..
Argh. Me and my tipsy thoughts.
They're both happy with someone else na.
"It's already late, be careful on driving." I said as I tailed them into his room. He carefully laid Ansel.
"Syempre. Takot ko nalang kay Ada pag nabangga ako." He jested as he winked.
"Can't you go there tomorrow?"
He shrugged, "She needs me now."
"How about our class tomorrow? Absent ka ulit?"
He sighed as he placed his hands on my shoulder, "You're such a mom. Mag-iingat po ako, text kita pag-dating ko."
Tss. He always says it but never texted me. Mukhang nabasa niya ang naiisip ko, mas lumawak yong ngisi niya. "Promise, I will. Allowance ko, mommy?"
Hinampas ko ang kamay niya bago siya tinalikuran. I watched him walked out the door. Nalinis na agad ni Cane ang sala at kitchen but the balloons are still there.
"Anong oras ka gigising bukas?" Cane asked as he settled on the sofa.
"5 sharp."
"Okay."
I turned around and before I could enter Cy's room I heard him saying goodnight.
Nagising ako at exactly 5:00 am. I shake Ansel to wake her up, "What time is it?" she asked habang kumukusot ng mata.
"5 am." I simply answered. Antok na antok padin talaga ako. Parang kakatulog ko lang tapos gigising na ulit.
"What happened to Ada?" her voice rasped.
"Emergency."
Sabay kaming nag-hilamos at nag-mumog bago lumabas ng kwarto ni Cy. I was expecting a sleeping Cane but was surprised nang makita siyang nagha-hain na sa mesa.
"Wow. Fried rice!" Ansel's eyes glimmered before running towards the table.
"Good morning," he greeted.
Lumapit nadin ako at umupo sa tabi ni Ansel. He cooked bacons and hotdogs. Nag-labas din siya ng fresh milk.
"Ang aga mo nagising," pansin ni Ansel. Umupo naman si Hurricane sa tapat ko.
"Morning person." He simply answered pero parehas kaming nag-duda ni Ansel. But well.. maybe he really is.
"How's it?" he asked. I looked up only to see him looking at me.
"Hurricane it's just fried hotdogs and bacons.. and fried rice too." Naramdaman kong inapakan ako ni Ansel.
He frowned at me. "But I appreciate it and it's masarap." Damn. May mali na talaga sakin.
I caught him smiling like a kid and his ears were red. Again. Nailing nalang ako.
On our way to condo panay lang ang kwento ni Ansel about Storm and her plans to surprise him. I just keep on nodding but my mind's back on his morning side.. his disarray hair, his lazy smile.. even how he sipped his morning coffee kept on playing in my mind.
Shit.
May hang-over ba ako? Hindi naman ako nalasing kagabi.
I tried focusing the whole day. Pinilit ko talagang hindi siya isipin and it sucks to have no control over your mind. It's too powerfully annoying.
My phone pinged habang nasa class kami. Last class for the day.
He sent a message on my instagram.
hurricanetntc: Coffee shop?
So.. he's back to joining us again?
chandrellarquiluz: Coffee bean. Ansel will be there.
hurricanetntc: ikaw?
chandrellarquiluz: can't. Have other plans.
hurricanetntc: okay. Ako din.
My brows furrowed. Huh? Akala ko naman sasama nadin siya sa coffee shop. I left him on seen bago tumayo nang mag-dismis si Doc Mel.
Hinatid ko lang si Ansel sa condo bago dumiretso sa bahay namin sa Alabang. I've been here the other day nang mag-date kami ni ate pero wala naman akong nadatnan except for the helpers.
"Hija, dadating ka pala." Manang Sally smiled pagka-labas ko sa kotse.
"Is there anyone home po?"
"Oo. Nag-luluto Lola mo. Si Charlie nasa kwarto, si Chad kakadating lang."
I nodded. Bago pumasok at dumiretso sa kitchen. Naabutan ko si Lola na nag-luluto nga. She beamed the moment she saw me. Lumapit siya agad at yumakap.
"Oh! I'm glad you visit!"
I smiled.
"Oh, go upstairs. Charlie will be happy to see you!"
Tumango lang ako bago umakyat at kumatok sa pinto ni Charlie. When I heard her voice agad akong pumasok. Nasa balcony siya. She's holding a paintbrush, her hand's full of paint. Agad siyang tumayo at tumakbo payakap sakin.
"Ate! You're here!" she's too pale. Too thin.
"Yes. What are you painting?"
She pulled me and showed me her work. "I'll donate this to the hospital."
I only nodded as I fight my tears from falling. My chest tightens every time I looked at my sister. The world's really unfair. It's bad to those who are pure and good to the evil.
I cleared my throat as I smiled. I always show her my smile as to her wish.
"Your art should be displayed on the museum." I commented as I looked at the laughter of the children in her painting. They are always full of life.
"It deserves a better audience." She retorted.. pertaining to the cancer patients..
"I heard Chad's barely home." I said shifting the subject.
"He's in his room now but he bought me chocolates."
I heaved a sigh as I looked at her sternly, "You know it's bad for you."
"That's why I am giving it to you."
Tatalikod na sana siya para kunin yong chocolate pero hindi ko na napigilan yakapin si Charlie. She hates drama too. We both hated it.. but everytime I'm with her I can't help but be emotional.
She sees me in my fragile state.. na dapat hindi kasi ako dapat yong maging mas malakas samin. She's just.. my sister's the strongest. I'm always proud of her.
"You keep on fighting, okay?"
"Okay."
I spent the night with my family. We're not complete pero hindi naman na bago yon. Charlie's the life of the night. She's always full of story that didn't bore us the whole dinner.
"By the way, Chad's birthday's coming." Lola announced which gained a groaned from Chad.
"Lola, we will not throw a party."
"Oh! Just a small one!"
"I'll not be there, then." Agad ko siyang sinipa sa ilalim ng lamesa kasabay ng pag-batok ni Charlie sa kanya.
Lola turned to me, eyes glimmering. "And you'll bring Hurricane."
Hu-what?!
I coughed as I choke on my food. Agad akong inabutan ni Charlie ng tubig.
"Hurricane? As-in Hurricane na twin ni kuya Cyclone?" Charlie sounds so excited.
This is bad! Ano bang naiisip ni Lola?
"Yes. Bring him. He's invited."
"And why?" Chad asked, brows furrowed. His eyes on me like examining my whole being. This dude. Tss.
"Lola, I can't-hey no phone while on the table." I told Charlie pero parang wala siyang narinig.
"Omg! He's so pogi padin!" she's giggling while scrolling on her phone.
"Patingin nga!" naki-silip si Chad bago umingos, "Mas pogi pa ako jan e."
"Kapal! Lola look, kuya Hurricane's so gorgeous. I want to see him."
Sabe na nga ba. This is bad. Pipilitin lang ako lalo ni Charlie and I hate her getting mad at me. Bakit kasi naalala pa ni Lola?
I can already imagine Hurricane's grin right now.
"Of course, invite Ansel and Cyclone too.. oh, also Ada? Am I right?"
Tumango nalang ako. Iniisip kung ano ang pedeng idahilan sa kanila pag sinabe kong hindi makakasama si Hurricane.
"Ate, I want to see him."
Geez. Crush ba niya? Tss.
"Nanliligaw sayo?" Chad asked, his voice suddenly cold.
"No."
"Why?" The three of them chorused.
Ngayon nalang ulit sumakit yong ulo ko ng ganito katindi.
"Because we don't like each other." I answered nonchalantly and even they doubted my answer.
"Sure ka?" Charlie teased.
"Bring him. Let's see if you're telling the truth." Chad finally said.
Asa naman silang dadalhin ko talaga si Hurricane.
When we were finished. Nanood lang kami saglit before we all resigned to bed. I decided to sleep beside Charlie.
"Ate.." she whispered.
"Hmm.."
"Bring kuya Hurricane.."
"Charlie.."
"Please? I really want to see you with someone."
I heaved a sigh, "Pero hindi siya yon."
"You're not sure."
I am not sure but I want to be sure na hindi siya yon. Besides, I don't have a plan on having someone.
We fell silent. Akala ko nakatulog na siya nang tawagin na naman niya ako. I readied my patience thinking it's about Hurricane again.
"Thank you for visiting."
My heart clenched as I pulled her to my embrace. It felt like someone's gripping my heart.
I need to be stronger..
**
I looked at Hurricane who's reading on his codal. Iniisip ko kung ii-invite ko ba siya or mag-sinungaling nalang sa family ko. The latter already made me so guilty. I heaved a sigh as I returned my eyes to Schwartz.
"Your sister invited me pala."
I almost choke on my own spit sa bigla niyang pag-announced. Omg! Si Charlie?! I can't believe her! Ang lakas talaga ng loob ng batang yon.
"Charlie?"
He nodded taking his eyes off his codal as it turned on mine. He smiled. "Number nalang ni Light ireregalo ko kay Chad." Light's their only sister. Chad once had a crush on her when they were little kids.
I rolled my eyes. He chuckled in return. "When did she messaged you?"
"Last night. On my instagram."
Oh good heavens. So nong in-stalk siya ni Charlie kagabi na-invite na agad siya? Bilis din talaga ng kapatid ko kung minsan.
"It's alright if you can't come."
"Naka-oo na ako." He grinned.
Of course, what do I expect? Tatanggi siya? Tsk.
But what irritates me was the excitement building inside me. Why the hell am I suddenly excited with the thought of him coming to our house?
I am no fool.
I already have an idea on what I am feeling.. it wasn't new for I experienced it before sa ibang lalaki.. but this one was somehow powerful, like it is something awaken from a deep slumber and ready to devour my sanity anytime.
The thought of it alone was already horrifying.. yet it excites every nerve in my body. It made me feel so alive, I am already afraid of recognizing it fully.
Because.. really? After all these years.. after everything we shared, all the hate I felt for him.. plus, there's a thousand man out there-I can't believe I'll be weak with just his smile.
"Anong magandang regalo for Charlie?"
I snapped out from my thoughts. I am walking on a danger zone but I can't find the power in me to turn around.
I cleared my throat, "It's Chad's birthday not Charlie's."
"Flowers will do? Roses?"
I heaved a sigh. "You don't need to give her any."
He smirked. Maybe I am wrong.. kasi if I have 'that' feelings for him then why the hell do I still want to erase that smirk off his face?
Guard! Ayoko! Ayoko. No. Mali to. Ayoko. Mag-hahanap ako ng lalaki bukas. Maiiwasan ko pa 'to. Magbabago pa 'to.
"Selos ka? I'll give you one too."
"Shut up."
He chuckled. I suddenly want to bring my hands to cover my ears for his chuckles suddenly sounds heavenly I started to feel so sick. Gusto kong masuka sa naiisip at nararamdaman ko.
How can I control my own feelings?
He's a danger. It's in his name.
I cleared my throat as I glanced at him. Shit. Bakit ang gwapo niya sobra ngayon?
**
Ansel and I arrived early to help Lola with the preparation. When the clock striked at six in the evening Chad's friends arrived. Tatlong lalaki at isang babae. The lady was later on introduced as Chad's girlfriend. Sumunod naman ang mga friends ni Charlie.
I was surprised when my parents and siblings arrived. I thought they can't come since busy sila lahat sa hospital. Most of our birthdays kasi, sanay naman kami na wala ang parents namin. But I am happy to have them here.
"Anjan na daw sila Cy." Ansel announced.
I wanna cursed myself for suddenly getting excited. My heart jumped at the thought of him alone.
When did I got so doomed?
My eyes instantly travelled to the man who just entered our home. He's just wearing a black shirt but my system freaking lost it.
I need a breath.
"Hurricane?"
My parents and siblings greeted them. Lola's smiling widely at him again.
"Taray ng meet the family niyo ah." Ansel whispered beside me. "Di'ka na mahihirapan pag pinakilala mo."
"Shut up."
I heard my bestfriend laughed before walking towards the group.
"Omg! It's your soon to be boyfriend!" Charlie rushed towards him like she's not sick. Ako lang ata ang naiwan dito sa sala.
I shifted on my seat when his gaze found mine. He instantly smiled, I felt my cheeks burning.
It is really bad to name an emotion. It will attack you hard.