#NewClassicILIB
Chapter 25
Give It Back
My steps were becoming heavier as I got nearer and nearer to the park where Isaiah was waiting.
It took me almost ten minutes to get myself ready before I left the house. I gave him a simple reply earlier and told him to wait for me. I didn't ask why he wanted to meet me. I just agreed after arguing with myself about my decision.
Nagpalit ako ng damit para mas mukhang presentable kahit papaano. I wore denim shorts and printed tee. Mula sa pagkakatali, nilugay at sinuklay ko rin ang aking buhok. Hindi ko na pinakialaman ang aking mukha. I decided to go out bare-faced, since it was rather late. Ayoko na ring paghintayin pa si Isaiah.
Nang mas makalapit ako sa parke ay natanaw ko ang likod ni Isaiah. He was sitting on the same bench the other night. Seeing him from behind, I couldn't tell his mood. It made me feel more anxious.
I gripped tighter on the smiley guitar pick he gave me years ago. I brought it with me as I thought of something, which could help me let go of my feelings.
If he succeeded taking Blair back into his life, I would be happy for him despite the pain that I might feel alongside it. But aside from that, I would also give him back the guitar pick he had given me.
It already became my own happy charm for years, but I don't think I could still keep it with me if everything goes well between him and Blair. It would hold me back from moving on. I would never be free as it would always remind me of him―and that lingering memory, which gives me a lot of hope.
I have to give it back to him and hopefully, I would get my heart in return.
Tahimik akong pumanhik at umikot kung saang mas makikita ko siya. He sensed my arrival right away, so he lifted his head to look at me. He also stood up from his seat and then, he smiled.
He really did smile.
It was a genuine smile. He looked happy and satisfied. It almost made me trip on the ground as I lost my composure.
My heart used to flutter every time I see him smile―but now, I could hear it breaking apart.
I suddenly felt like turning around. I had this urge to just go back home, instead of meeting him. It seemed as if I was about to enter a battlefield and participate in an all-outwar. Even if I wouldn't die on the field, I knew I would still come home with a lot of wounds and bruises.
However, I already came this far. Going back wasn't an option to take.
For the past few weeks, I had gone through a lot and suffered. I had endured those worst times. I almost gave up on life, but I was still here―standing strong. What's the big deal if I get hurt more, right?
I was ready to settle for another heartbreak. I was ready to take another harsh wave of pain. I decided that it'd be better to take the pain all at once before I start to put my heart at rest and just hope that it'd be ready again in the future.
Nang buo na ang aking loob nagpatuloy ako sa paghakbang papalapit sa kanya. I slid the guitar pick on my side pocket as I approached him.
Just like him, I wore a smile on my face. But suddenly, as I was just a meter away from him, I was taken aback by his sudden shed of tears. He was still smiling, but tears kept rolling down his face.
Nanigas ako sa aking kinatatayuan. Hindi ko malaman kung ano ang aking gagawin. When I saw his genuine smile, I thought he succeeded. I thought he got what he wanted, but it turned out that he failed.
Staring at him crying in front of me, I was so dumbfounded. However, my body just moved on its own like it was possessed by another soul.
I found myself stepping out of the boundary and crossing the line, ignoring the consequences that I might face as I took the risk. All I wanted to do right now was to comfort the man I love who's breaking down.
In just a blink of an eye, I was already standing in front of Isaiah. Even though his size was bigger than mine, I cradled him in my arms as I enveloped him in my embrace. As soon as I felt his warmth spread all over me as our bodies touched, I felt myself giving up to him.
The feelings I had for him that I buried deep in my heart were watered by his tears. And like what Jerlyn told me to be cautious of, it really did grow. It grew way too strong for me to handle.
Kung dati ay kaya ko pang pakawalan ang nararamdaman ko para sa kanya, ngayon ay parang hindi ko na ito kayang gawin. Tuluyan na akong bumigay at nagpaanod sa agos ng aking tunay na nararamdaman.
"I'm sorry for causing you trouble..." Isaiah apologized, once he was done crying.
We sat at the bench as he calmed down. But unlike before where I chose to sit on a separate bench, I sat just right next to him with only a few inches apart.
"I called you here out of the blue..." He sounded a bit embarrassed. "I just needed someone to talk to... I..."
Hindi niya naituloy ang kanyang sasabihin. Umiling siya at saka nanahimik na lang.
I felt like he was trying to say that he had no one else to confide in. Kung bakit hindi niya masabi sa ibang miyembro ng banda ay hindi ko alam. But I suddenly thought of his sister. Paniguradong naiipit ngayon si Ida sa kanyang kapatid at matalik na kaibigan.
Kinagat ko ang aking ibabang labi at saka sinabi, "Ayos lang, Isaiah... Naiintindihan ko."
I wanted to ask him about what happened, but I didn't want to sound too assertive. Isaiah didn't me make me wait, though. He immediately opened up to me.
"I did what you told me to do."
Kumalabog ang aking puso. Nilingon ko siya.
"I took your advice," he said. "I thought about it over and over again. And when I got the chance to do it, I immediately grabbed it."
Ibig sabihin ay nagkausap na sila ulit ni Blair.
"I proposed to her," he confessed.
For a moment, I stopped breathing. It was as though the world stopped spinning, but I still heard my heart dropped like glass and broke into pieces. Just the thought of him proposing to Blair, it did so much damage to my heart.
"She rejected me, though," he added.
When he dropped that, it was the only time I got to breathe again. I inhaled a deep breath.
"I'm sorry," I apologized, thinking that it was my fault.
If I didn't encourage him to try again, he wouldn't get hurt this bad. His proposal wouldn't be rejected.
He turned to me, smiling. "No..." He shook his head lightly. "I actually want to thank you."
My forehead creased as my brows furrowed in confusion. Why would he thank me for something which caused him pain?
"When I asked her why she's choosing Gael than me, she told me she loves him. She said it without hesitation," he spoke about his conversation with Blair. "You know it comforted me to know that she's sure of her feelings. I'm just happy that she's happy."
It struck me that we had the same mindset. I couldn't control my expression. My eyes widened a bit as I wasn't expecting that.
"And you know what―she told me she did love me," he stated. "I'm fine with that. Ayos na ako roon. At least, she did. Iyon ang importante sa akin. It means my efforts and my love weren't really put to waste because she appreciated it."
I admire the Isaiah Mallari, the member of New Classic, every time I see him passionately doing what he loves. But I think I'm falling more in love with this real version of Isaiah Mallari in front of me. He never failed to leave me breathless with everything I discover about him.
"When she rejected me without inhibitions, naisip kong hanggang doon na lang talaga," pagpapatuloy niya. "I was already free from those what ifs and might have beens."
Muli siyang ngumiti sa akin. Itinikom ko naman ang aking mga labi habang tumitig sa kanyang mga mata.
"I just wished that Gael would never hurt her..." His tone slightly changed. "I don't think I could ever forgive him again if he hurts her."
Hindi pa rin maalis sa isipan ko na mayroong mas malalim na pinanggagalingan ang galit ni Isaiah kay Gael. But of course, I wouldn't dare ask him about that. Pakiramdam ko ay ibang usapan na 'yon na hindi ko na dapat panghimasukan pa.
"But like what I said, I want to thank you," he swiftly shifted back. "If it weren't for you, I don't think I could ever think of that," he said. "Maybe I'd forever carry this anger and pain with me. Her rejection to my proposal cleared my head. And so, thank you for encouraging me to try again. I really appreciate it, Zendaya."
"I just simply put that thought into your mind," I told him, not wanting to take all the credit. "You're the one who acted on it."
While shaking his head, he chuckled softly. "I wonder how can there be someone as kind as you..." he said, his voice quiet like he was only whispering to himself. "But really―thank you so much. I'm okay now."
He didn't really have to thank me. Just by hearing him said that he's okay and seeing that he meant those words, it was already enough for me. His happiness is everything that I hoped for him to have. I just hoped that he continues to heal.
Like what happened the other night, Isaiah offered to walk me home. I didn't decline because I'd be glad to spend more time with him tonight.
Tahimik lamang kaming naglalakad pauwi. Iniwan niya ulit ang kanyang sasakyan sa park. Naisip ko tuloy na baka may makakita sa kanya. But I was confident with our subdivision's security, so I didn't mind about it eventually.
"That's your father, right?" Isaiah suddenly asked me when we were almost at my house.
Nagulat naman ako nang makitang nasa labas nga si daddy. Mayroon siyang kung anong tinitingnan sa kanyang sasakyan. Noong umalis ako kanina ay hindi pa siya nakakauwi. He texted me that he'd be home late, though. I was thinking that maybe he just got home, but then I saw him wearing casual clothes instead of his office attire.
"Uh, oo..." nag-aalangan ko pang sabi saka nilingon siya. "Okay na ako rito, Isaiah. Baka makita ka pa ni daddy."
Creases appeared on his forehead. "And what's wrong with that?"
"Syempre! Artista ka," wala sa sarili kong sabi.
He chuckled. "I doubt he knows me," he said. "Let me greet him and apologize for asking you out late."
Hindi ko na napigilan si Isaiah sa paglapit kay daddy. Agad naman akong sumunod para maipakilala siya nang maayos.
"Good evening, sir," he formally greeted my father.
Napaangat ng tingin sa kanya si daddy. "Oh!" he exclaimed before giving me a quick glance. "Kaibigan mo, Zendaya?"
My father knew that I like New Classic. He knew the band, but he didn't know its members. Tama nga si Isaiah. Hindi nga siya kilala ni daddy.
"Uh, o-opo, 'ddy," nahihiya kong sagot dahil hindi ko sigurado kung magkaibigan nga ba kaming dalawa. "Si Isaiah po."
"Isaiah Mallari." Isaiah extended his hand to my father. "Nice meeting you, Mr. Gregorio."
Tinanggap naman ni daddy ang kanyang kamay. "Tito Richmond na lang."
"Sorry po kung inaya kong lumabas ang anak ninyo. We just went to the park," paghingi ni Isaiah ng pasensya.
"Ayos lang." Bahagyang natawa si daddy. "Oh, sige't ipapasok ko lang 'tong sasakyan sa garahe."
Isaiah smiled courtly at him, while I was confused with my father's actions. He could've parked the car when he arrived earlier.
Kahit naguguluhan ay tumabi kaming dalawa ni Isaiah para makaraan ang sasakyan. Nilingon ko siya at nakitang nagpipigil ng ngiti.
"Pasensya ka na kay daddy," sabi ko na lang.
He shook his head and smiled. "He looks fun."
Napangiti ako nang dahil doon.
"Anyway, I should go now," paalam niya. "Thank you for listening. I really appreciate your company."
Not saying anything, I pursed my lips and took the guitar pick out of my pocket. I bravely took a step closer to him and reached for his hand. Isaiah looked confused, but he let me take his hand and just patiently waited for whatever I was going to do.
Without further ado, I opened his palm and put the guitar pick he gave me years ago.
I thought about giving this back to him to completely forget him earlier. But now, I have a different reason.
As soon as Isaiah saw the pick, his lips parted. He was genuinely surprise. His eyes were fixed on it for a few seconds before he lifted his gaze back to me.
"Y-you..." he stuttered as he trailed off.
I just smiled. "It made me happy for years..." I told him. "Now, I'm going to give it back to you and hope that it will do the same. I hope it can also make you smile."