It was a sunny ass day. Chilly, but sunny. And the campuses were crowded as fuck. So I went out and sat down on an empty bench, under the shadow of a giant maple tree. I lazily threw my backpack beside me, and reached for my stapled papers inside. My political science thesis which I probably failed. And at that point, I wasn't even hoping to be wrong. I sighed, stared at the blur of whiteness I was holding.
At the end, it wasn't my anxiety, nor my impatience that pushed me to turn the page. It was, and always will be, the acceptance of what life has thrown at me till now; disappointment. My hand moved on its own, I was just a witness. I turned the page and looked at my grade. Thirty-one percent. It's a number. Unfazed, I didn't blink, I didn't move. I just sat there, under the giant maple tree.
Okay; was my mind's response. I would've used reaction, but that was just how little I cared. I was done. It was clear I didn't belong in this academic world of theoretical bullshit. So I threw my papers in the garbage beside the bench, and walked off. Out of this campus, out in the real world. Where I knew I belonged, because I didn't fit anywhere else.
The city bus was crowded too. I fucking hate it when it's crowded. But I get it. It was five in the afternoon, and people had to get where they needed to go. I was standing near the back, one hand holding steadily on the metal bar, the other on my phone. I had my earphones on and my sunglasses on too. Blocking the bright as fuck sun rays, and blocking human interaction. After a few minutes of music and light reading, the bus stopped momentarily. And I could hear laughter through my music. How fucking loud are these guys? I turned briefly to see who just got in. A bunch of chicks. Of course. I went back to my reading. The bus moved again. And I felt someone bumping into my arm. I sighed in my head as I glanced to my side.
"Oh, god! I'm so sorry!" A blonde was looking up at me with concern and fluster. The other girls behind her were covering their mouths, giggling at the incident.
"It's all good." I smiled and went back to my phone.
"What're you listening to?" One of them asked, after the blonde went back to her group of friends. Clearly she was the bold type.
I pretended I didn't hear her. Her friends giggled again as she came closer to me, tapping my shoulder. Evidently she wasn't gonna leave me be. I took one earphone off.
"Yeah?" I said lazily.
"Is that uhhh...what's that you're listening to?" She asked again. Looking up at me, searching for my eyes through the dark lenses. She was trying to decipher my blank expression.
"It's rock." I finally answered.
"Woah, so you're into that punk kinda music? That's actually so rad! I have a friend who plays in like a rock band, and I just fucking looove their music." She came closer, leaning in.
I smirked. "Oh yeah? What're they called?"
"Uhh...I think like Dandy Dudes or something?"
"That's the name of a bar, sweetheart."
She blushed a little. Out of embarrassment or out of lust. Maybe both.
"Oh, damn." She laughed. "Wow, I really can't remember their name, sorryyy!" She nearly yelled. I cocked back a little to protect my fucking eardrums from bursting. "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" She covered her mouth. "I can be loud sometimes, when I'm nervous!" She exclaimed slightly quieter.
"Don't worry about it." I smiled again. I was getting bored again and just wanted to read my shit. Then I suddenly caught something outside, out of the corner of my eye.
"Sorry, it's my stop." I said blankly and pressed the red button.
"Oh, uh. Okay...well can you like, I think you're cool, could you give me-" she began.
"Oh shit, yeah, I've got a girlfriend." I chuckled at her sudden confidence boost.
"Oh wow! That's totally cool!" She laughed nervously and pouted slightly, though she tried to hide it. She moved out of my way, and let me get through towards the opening doors. I walked past her friends whom I almost forgot existed. I got off quickly. The bus's engine started again and went by.
"Uhh...she was kinda cute." I thought loudly. But I wasn't in the mood.
Not right now.
I noticed it was getting darker out. I kept my sunglasses on anyways as I walked into the crappy drugstore that I had spotted earlier. There were some people inside. They reminded me of those zombies from those low budget movies I used to binge in highschool. I was walking lazily through the aisles. I spotted the cashier eyeing me like I was about to steal something. Which I was. But I still didn't like the look he gave me. I quickly found what I wanted. I noticed the cashier getting busy with a customer and swiftly put it in my jeans and went straight to the bathroom.
I locked the door, took out the box, and looked through the instructions. After a few lines, I just thought; fuck it. I took my denim jacket and shirt off. I turned on the water and put my head under it till it was soaking wet. I ripped the box eagerly and squeezed the green paste onto my palm. I stared at it for a moment, then smeared it onto my hair. I smiled to myself in the mirror and continued the process of applying it everywhere. I chuckled a bit as my hair was covered by green spikes I formed and twisted with my fingers. Shit how long was I supposed to stay like this for it to stick? Fuck, I should've worn a hoodie or something. It's gonna rain too right?
After a good fifteen minutes, I glanced up from my phone into my reflection. "Not too bad." I stepped in closer and ran a hand through my hair. I decided it was finally time to rinse it. I turned the tap on once more and dipped my head under. The sink was instantly flowing green. I washed and watched as the green pigmentation diminished from the water, slowly turning transparent. Turning the flow off, I cocked my head back up and took a first look at myself. The green was less prominent but still apparent. I liked it. I threw the box and its contents into the garbage, and put on my shirt and jacket, as well as my sunglasses back on. I finally opened the door. Walking through the aisles, I caught the cashier's eyes on me. I smiled slyly at him and he grunted. I walked out of the store. The cashier didn't notice jack shit.
¤¤¤
Standing in front of the door, I knocked a couple times. A brief moment passed. I heard lazy steps, louder by the second. The lock shifted and the door opened.
"Hey." I said.
"Hey." Riley replied in the same tone.
"Sick hair dye." He said again after noticing my hair.
"Thanks."
He seemed tired. Maybe from that "lit" frat party from yesterday? Or just a long group study session. Who knows with this guy. He took his hand off the handle and shifted to the side, letting me in. I sighed as I walked into the messy studio apartment, into the living room. I let myself sink into the old leather couch. My bag, thrown to the floor.
"You look like shit." He finally said after I heard him lock the door.
"Oh yeah?" I laughed. "So do you. Studying hard?" Riley chuckled at that.
"Yeah, It's been crazy lately." He answered while tinkering in the kitchen. "With the finals and all, you know. And there's this fucking guy in my group, he doesn't do shit. I told him to ask for help. Just ask, man. He goes off for days. And when we ask him what he got, he shows us a bullshit work he copypasted online- I'm telling you. If he keeps that shit up, I'm gonna punch his fucking teeth out."
I laughed again. "I'd like to see that."
"I'll let you know." He said as I heard him exiting the kitchen. He groaned as he threw himself on the other end of the couch, with a sandwich on one hand, and a beer can on the other. I glanced at the window. The sun had almost completely set. The street lights were turning on. The view was okay, I guess. We were pretty high up. The eighth floor to be exact. But the neighbourhood was pretty crappy. Not just the people living here. Sometimes I wondered how this shithole was still standing. The architecture was old, the wallpapers were coming off at the slightest touch, the air conditioning needed fixing every two weeks, and the dim lighting flickered every now and then. The fact that four guys were renting it wasn't helping either. The dishes just sat there, rotting. Our dirty clothes were everywhere. We washed them occasionally downstairs, when we felt like it. The bathroom was just a nightmare to look at. It wreaked sometimes too. Did any of us care? No. Who's watching? That's what it meant to be independent, right? To make your own decisions, to work your ass off to survive. If you ain't the one paying, don't fucking judge.
"I'm dropping out." I broke the silence. I was staring at the ceiling, so I didn't know what expression he had on when he replied:
"Hmm."
"Yeah." I was looking at him now, and in response, he turned to face me as well.
"As long as you know what you're doing, man." He shrugged, taking a swig of his can.
"I guess." I went back to ceiling-watching. After a while, I started noticing some patterns in the cracks.
"Any more beer left?" I asked, suddenly, as I sprung up.
"Nah, sorry. Last one." He grinned as he lifted his. Shaking it a little, letting me know it was empty.
"Shit." I lifted my backpack off the flour.
"I'll text Josh to buy some on his way." He said.
"Alright."
I made my way to my shared bedroom. Posters covering every wall. And thick curtains drawn, plunging the room in darkness. I threw my bag against the flour again, which made a loud thud. What the fuck? I kneeled, unzipped it and ravaged through it annoyingly. "Oh shit." I rubbed my nose bridge and inhaled deeply. I fucking forgot my asus was in there. "Shiiiiit." I cursed again. I lifted my laptop and placed it on the floor. I couldn't afford to break another one. Not this time. I lifted the screen and clicked the power button. After a couple endless seconds of anxiety, it finally turned on. Everything seemed to work perfectly, the screen looked fine as well. "Thank god." I sighed and turned it off, placing it carefully on the desk.
After shrugging off all my clothes onto my bed, and shoes into the closet, I went straight to the bathroom. I put my phone on the toilet tank and blasted a playlist. I looked at the mirror, inspecting my hair for the last time. Fuck, do I look emo like this? I chuckled, getting in the shower. I turned both knobs at the same time like I always did to get the perfect temperature. But this time it didn't do the trick.
"Dude the water's cold as fuck! How much hot water did you fucking use?!" I yelled as I quickly stepped out of the tub, freezing my ass off. I turned the water off and snatched the towel from the hanger, quickly tugged it around my waist. I was still shivering when I stomped in the living room.
Riley was watching TV on the couch. Clearly, he didn't hear my shouting. I sat down on the armchair across. Which was colder on bare skin. Finally I caught his eye.
"What're you doing?" He asked.
"The water's freezing."
"Oh yeah, I know." He grinned mockingly. "The heater's broken."
"What the fuck? Again?"
"Yeah. I called in the cheapest plumber I could find, but he's not coming till next friday."
I groaned and rested my head on the chair. Then I chuckled.
"What?" He asked again.
"Can't wait to see the guys piss themselves over this." I laughed.
He laughed louder. "Maaan, I know Kevin will bitch about it aaall week."
"Oh shit, that's right, he likes to fucking, I don't know, meditate under hot water. Because it was like the sun flowing or some shit?"
"The flowing of "enlightenment."" He replied.
"Enlightenment my dick!" I bursted into laughter.
"Then he uses all of the hot water, fucking cunt! Calling himself awoken or some shit." Riley said, as he took his last bite off his sandwich.
"Man, get the fuck outta here!"
"That's what I'm saying!"
And at that, we heard the door's lock shifting, and keys tinkering.
"Oh shit, here he comes." I said, sitting more comfortably.
"Dude, I can see your fucking balls."
"So?" I gave him the finger.
The door opened. We directed our focus on the TV show. Some shitty rom com.
"Hey." Josh greeted as he entered the apartment.
"Hey." Riley and I said in unison, still fixated on the show. The lead actress didn't look too good with that botched surgery. Too bad, she was alright.
Then I remembered the text that Riley had supposedly sent to Josh. I turned over to ask him about it, when I noticed Kevin was there too.
"Hey Kev. What's up, buddy?" I asked blankly.
"I'm good, you?" Kevin asked as he went and sat next to Riley.
"Hey, your nuts are hanging out." Kevin said, less bothered than Riley.
I turned to Josh and noticed the beer cans on the counter.
"Oh, sweet Blue Light, baby!" I got up with a spring and quickly made my way to the kitchen. Josh was putting other groceries he bought into the fridge.
"Just showered? ...hey did you dye your hair?" Josh asked as I opened a can.
"Hey, pass me one too." I heard Riley say in the distance.
"Not yet, and yeah." I simply replied and took another can from the fridge.
"Then I'm getting in now. Sorry, but I can't miss this time lapse. It's the ideal moment to cleanse myself." Kevin said to me apologetically, as he walked towards the bathroom.
"Dude, stop with that monk bullshit already, you know we don't buy into it." I said, as I went back to my armchair, crossing my legs.
"Don't know what you're talking about." He mumbled and closed the door.
I handed Riley his can.
"Riley, turn it down a bit." I said, urgently.
"On it."
As he did, we heard the sound of the shower head running. And after a few seconds, we heard it.
"What the- what the fuck!?" Kevin yelled out. And Josh came running over to us, panicked.
"What happened?! Why is he...what the hell are you guys laughing about?!" He was staring at each of us for an explanation. And then we heard the bathroom door slam open. Kevin was standing there, butt naked.
"Oh yeah?! You guys are laughing, huh?! Fuck you! Who used up all the hot water?!" We didn't answer, smiles on our faces. He came stomped closer and gripped the sofas fabric.
"Fuck! It was you, right?!" He pointed at me furiously. "Why didn't you tell me you fucking showered and used all of it!" He continued his perjury. "Answer me, you dick- hey what's wrong with your fucking hair?!"
Riley and I bursted in laughter again. We knew he was a self-centered jackass, but this was on another level. I heard Riley choking on his beer, coughing violently.
"Yeah, I hope you fucking choke and die, you fucking bitch." Kevin finally said to Riley as he walked back to the bathroom, slamming the door loudly. The neighbors were going to complain tomorrow, for sure.
Josh sighed. "You guys..." He started, as he walked to his room. "I'm gonna crash, just try to keep it down, yeah?" I groaned in response, and Riley coughed and replied. "Yeah, yeah, see ya..." Josh left and we heard the gentle thud of his door.
When Riley turned to face me, I knew he wasn't tired anymore. And that meant; "Hey, wanna get out?"