"I envy people that know love. That have someone who takes them as they are."
Jess C Scott
~~~
It can only get better from here, Harry thought, as he wiped his bloody nose on his shirt. He immediately snorted at his hopelessly optimistic thought. Things always went from bad to worse for Harry James Potter.
The day had started disastrously. He was exhausted from a lack of sleep and extensive number of chores and beatings, and had hence flipped the dial on the toaster the wrong way. His careless mistake had resulted in two slices of burnt bread. Harry had cringed as the smoke alarm had wailed relentlessly, and his uncle's face had gotten redder and redder with each passing second.
Harry had been almost concerned that his uncle would burst a blood vessel in his temple. Muggles didn't really take well to internal bleeding.
The trickle of concern evaporated however when the man had grabbed him by the front of his shirt and thrown him bodily at the wall, which he hit with painful accuracy, before landing on his face. He noticed his cousin slink away, with something like guilt on his face, but Harry was too busy getting beaten by a broken chair leg to think much about it.
He'd closed his eyes and locked himself in his cupboard as Uncle Vernon yelled about what a "goddamn fucking useless little freak" he was.
Indeed, the day had gotten a little better after that. Varnishing the shed was a rather tame chore, and one he was thankful for after the morning he'd had. His limbs complained as he stretched to fully cover the top of the shed, but he drove the pain into a familiar darkness and continued onwards. Dudley had remained oddly reticent as he quietly watched Harry's small winces and sporadic periods of him squeezing his eyes shut in discomfort. He wasn't sure what the Dementors had done to Dudley, but it was better than having dead worms thrown at him. Still, he didn't have much energy to linger on that thought.
Eventually, his cousin had retired to go and see his friends.
Dudley's absence meant only his Aunt Petunia had required lunch, and she'd waved Harry away as she stirred some chicken broth on the hob. His aunt was weird sometimes in this way, doing small errands herself when she easily could've extended Harry's suffering and saved herself the extra labour. But he'd never put much thought behind that either.
He most certainly wasn't going to start now.
Hedwig hadn't yet returned from the Burrow, where both Ron and Hermione were staying, and so he spent the rest of the day tending to his wounds as much as he could, and reading through his only book. He'd glanced at Sirius' mirror a few times; his black eye contrasted heavily with the sick pallor of his skin and the bright green of his eye. He looked dreadful— half starved with prominent cheekbones highlighting gaunt cheeks.
Harry stilled, silent with fear like a deer caught in the headlights as he heard his uncle's pounding footsteps. God forbid if the man was drunk... but a hiss of relief escaped his lips as the sound of the telly echoed through from the living room.
Thank Merlin's bloody balls. His mind echoed Ron's favourite epithet, and a small smile strained his lips.
He could almost hear the "bloody hell, Harry!" And Hermione reprimanding them both for their language, laughter fringing her words.
He dozed lightly with that thought, watching the warped reflection of the sunset from behind the flames of the Gryffindor hearth. Meditation had been something the book had encouraged, something that would "invoke a sense of calm" in him. And he'd never felt calmer watching the flames rise and flicker, shrouding him with a warmth that soaked into his bones. The book on his stomach felt like the light weight of the well worn Gryffindor afghan, and Harry lost himself in the familiar security of it all.
A sharp knocked at his door roused him from his imagined paradise.
Stuffing the book and his mirror under his pillow, Harry opened the door. He was greeted by his rather irate looking aunt.
"One of your teachers have come down from your freak school to see you. Get down there, and be wise enough to lie as if your life depends on it if you're asked about that." A bony finger gestured to his general complexion, centring around his black eye.
Harry changed quickly into a much cleaner top—long sleeved, of course, heart fluttering as though a hyperactive Snitch was flying about inside it.
Who had come to see him? Dumbledore? Mr Weasley?
No, his aunt had said one of his teachers.
Professor McGonagall, perhaps?
He brushed clammy palms on faded joggers as he ran down the stairs.
"...I'll manage." The snippet of conversation hadn't been enough for him to figure out who it was.
Oh, if only he'd known.
Harry blanched at the sight of the person that probably hated him the most. Second to Voldemort, obviously.
Not that that particular notion helped in any way.
"Snape?"
***
Severus couldn't hold back a mildly bemused frown at the sight of the boy. Potter looked awful, to say the least. Definitely thinner, nearly emaciated—and the boy had always been unnaturally thin to begin with. His lip curled in disgust at the sight of the boy's form of dress—of course Saint Potter would have no problem walking about like a vagabond. Bloody Potter arrogance.
The black eye was of interest though. He could always ask about that later. But first...
"That's Professor Snape to you, Potter. Now, what happened during our last...confrontation?"
"You took ten points off me for trying to decide what curse to use on Malfoy. After Professor McGonagall awarded fifty."
Impudent brat.
"Less of your cheek, Potter. The Headmaster has decided you are to spend the remainder of this vacation with me." He noted the boy's frown. "Believe me, the idea does not please me either."
Oh, he could believe it all right, Harry snorted mentally. Snape would chop him up for some random voodoo potion within 3 hours. Minimum.
"Time is of the essence, Mr Potter, and I will not spare any to deal with whatever little histrionics you wish to pull in defiance to this decision. You will pack. We will leave. Now go."
The boy simply stood there, fiddling with the sleeves of his top. Lily used to do that, when she was nervous. Fingers moving in a restless pattern, tapping her left foot...
He shoved the thought out of his mind to advance on the boy, who'd decided the floor was better than meeting his professor's gaze.
Insolent brat.
"Need I reiterate my instructions to monosyllabic words for you to understand?" He growled.
Harry felt himself tongue-tied, the roof of his mouth unbearably dry. "Uncle Vernon...you need to..."
"I'll do it," a shrill voice called from beyond the walls of the lounge, before Potter shuffled out without a backwards glance.
***
Harry felt sure he would've fainted on the spot after seeing Snape.
He'd considered it a bloody miracle that he hadn't collapsed like a stack of dominoes the second he'd asked Uncle Vernon to free his possessions from the cupboard.
Of course, the task of dragging everything out of the cupboard was done without assistance—why would his aunt help when she could enjoy him struggle to pull his hefty trunk out without damaging his Firebolt— and Harry stumbled his way upstairs with his rucksack to bundle in everything he would need.
A hesitant knock sounded as he shoved in the last of his age-worn garments.
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Harry muttered.
"Umm...Harry..." He span in surprise at the sound of the voice.
"Dudley?" His cousin, stood by the door, holding a small mound of...clothes?
"Ummm..." Harry stared on in amazement as the larger boy stuttered, shifting on the spot uncomfortably. "Don't tell Mum and Dad, but I though you might like these."
Harry took the pile, and found that, not only were there some decent clothes, there was also a roll of bandages and some plasters.
"Dudley...what...?"
"I'm sorry," the larger boy blurted out. "For not helping you when Dad..."
"Dudley, it's fine—"
"It's not. You've been different...since you came back. From that school. A bit...sadder." Harry swallowed down the balky lump in his throat. "And I didn't stop Dad..."
"It's..." Harry didn't really know what to say. It wasn't fine, it wasn't ok and yet it was.
"I wanted to say thank you, for saving me last summer. You saved my life."
And then Dudley did something that left Harry in a dumbfounded daze for several moments.
Dudley hugged him.
Hands wrapped gently around him, careful to disturb none of his wounds.
"Whatever's happening in your world...I hope it all works out." And then his cousin pulled away, leaving as though he'd never been. Harry would've thought he'd dreamt it all, if it wasn't for the bounteous bundle he was still clutching.
A small tear tricked down his cheek. For so long...this was all he had asked for. Sitting in his cupboard, listening to the Dursleys laugh together and love each other. This had been what he dreamed of, for so long, so long ago.
Why had it taken this long for him to finally get it?
***
Harry took a deep breath as he clutched Hedwig's cage in a slick grasp, rucksack strapped on his back, before opening his bedroom door and walking down the stairs.
"...has an account with all the necessary funds for him to purchase the requisite equipment."
Snape finally opened the front door after watching Harry hastily gather his belongings into a more stable grasp. Because helping him would've been a far too great show of kindness and compassion.
"Mr Dursley, thank you for your company. Come along, Potter."
Harry lugged his suitcase towards the door, Hedwig's cage leaning precariously on the handle. His Firebolt had been hastily stuffed inside, leaving one hand free to wipe the nervous sweat off his brow.
Just before he left, Harry caught a cruel gleam in his uncle's eye; the same deranged look he generally acquired whenever he was about to beat Harry to a pulp.
He had no time to wonder about that however; he could feel the impatience rolling off Snape in incandescent waves.
The door shut with foreboding finality as he hastened to follow the fast-paced Potions Master.
Let the summer fun begin.
***
A/N: I sort of took Aunt Petunia's little act of kindness from the Deathly Hallows deleted scene where they talk about Lily. Let me know whether you agree with it or not!!