"As a teacher, adult, and hero, I feel incredibly uncomfortable right now," All Might sweatdropped.
"As a student, a child, and a hero in training, I also feel incredibly uncomfortable," Shouji cringed.
"As a student, a child, and Zero's future lover, I also feel incredibly uncomfortable," Todoroki nodded.
"As a student, a child, and the guy who is about to obliterate Icyhot, I'm incredibly uncomfortable with this bastard breathing the same air as MY Zero," Katsuki growled, sparks popping on his hands.
~~
"That's right, people! The newest segment is with everyone's favorite hero, Midnight!" Zero cheered, dramatically gesturing to Midnight. She was wearing clothes that were more kid-friendly in comparison to what she would usually be seen wearing, but the real issue was which studio they were in.
Studio C: The pole studio.
~~
"Would you look at that All Might? Midnight's in the studio NEXT TO Zero. The cone of shame must really be burning right now," Mina teased, and laughed when All Might moved the cone on his wrist (his head was too big for the straps).
"You have zero room to talk," Todoroki glared.
"Sorry, did somebody hear something? I thought I heard a traitor who pre-recorded this whole thing to trick us all like the snake he is,".
"That snake comment would be offensive if I weren't happy to be anything, but a Todoroki. So there."
"You're both fucking stupid," Katsuki concluded.
~~
"If you haven't guessed it yet, Midnight and I are going to be pole dancing together. I don't think I've done pole in any of my videos before, which is kind of weird because I've competed on the pole before. It's actually really good for core strength," Zero trailed off, "Anyway, I'm going to say parental advisory for this bit, but this shouldn't be too sexy... I think," Zero questioned(?).
"Oh, honey, from what I've heard from Katsuki the parental advisory is totally necessary," Midnight winked at the camera.
"You gossip with Kat? About my pole dancing? I don't know what's the most concerning part about that,".
"When you told us about you and him I hounded Katsuki for details, and he was really happy to talk about his 'stunning and awesome' partner because he can't talk to his friends. I asked how you started dancing and he mentioned that you do pole and tend to 'get way too into it'," Midnight explained, "We also have tea sessions on Thursdays,"
After a second of processing that his art teacher has heard all of his and Katsuki's escapades he asked, "Did he actually call them friends?"
"No, he called them 'Nosy fucking bastards', but I figured you wanted the G version,".
~~
"He competes? Does he have like, medals and stuff?" Shouji inquired.
"Bakubro? You think we're your friends!?" Kirishima asked, looking like a puppy who was just given a bone.
"You gossip with our teacher? Do the teachers always talk smack?" Ochako asked.
"Does the whole staff know," All Might said, frowning. That hurt Katsuki a bit, now they have to tell him.
"Yes, Yes, Fuck no, Yes, Yes, Sorry, we'll tell you soon." Katsuki said bluntly, "If you want to see real gossip you should hear the shit that Nezu, Aizawa, and Zero gossip about. They're like the Mean Girls, but smart and passive-aggressive,".
"No fair. I want to gossip with the teachers!" Mina huffed like a child.
"It takes a special breed of person to communicate with Midnight, let alone Aizawa and Nezu, you wouldn't stand a fucking chance, Pinky,".
~~
"So do you have any experience with pole dancing or should we go over the basics?" Zero asked, wiping a white powder on his hands.
"Do you know who I am? Of course I've pole danced. Never anything competitive though," Midnight laughed, walking up to a pole on the right side of Zero.
"If I ask you to show me what you know, would I need to put a parental advisory this live stream?"
"Probably," Midnight shrugged.
"Great. Go crazy, Midnight. Kids cover your eyes, that goes for 1-A as well,".
~~
"Look at that! He cares for children!" Hagakure squealed, putting another mark next to Kirishima's name.
"Aizawa is a teacher. He likes kids, at least a little," Ochako reasoned.
"Oh yeah? Well, traitor-Oki did the provisional license thing and had to win over the heart of children! He must be great with kids!"
Katsuki immediately burst into laughter at that, "The last time Glamoroki over there saw a child, they started calling him the 'wee-wee man', then he tried to give them his life story, it was brilliant,".
"Ya know, the only time I've seen you laugh like that was when you were talking about Zero," Mina hummed, looking suspiciously at Todoroki.
"Fuck off. It was just funny to watch hi- HOLY SHIT WHAT IS MIDNIGHT DOING?" Katsuki cut himself off with a shriek and a look of disgust.
"What the fuck," All Might muttered in English. The class agreed with his sentiment.
~~
"So, you definitely weren't kidding about not being competitive," Zero analyzed.
"Too sexy for competition?" Midnight winked.
"No. It was mediocre. I've done much worse in competitions," Zero replied bluntly.
"Rude." Midnight gasped.
~~
"He's done worse?" All Might gaped. Midnight had literally just been grinding on the pole (with a couple of spins) that entire time.
"Oh yeah. MUCH worse, but like in a tasteful and talented way. His last competition he went full spread eagle, did a cute little spin, then cat crawled across the stage. It was wild," Katsuki reminisced. Izuku had won his national division overall with that, but Katsuki wasn't going to tell them that.
"Does Aizawa pole dance?" Ochako mumbled to herself.
"I'm pretty sure he mentioned that he had started training to use his capture weapon through dancing. I'm pretty sure he mentioned silks before, if that helps at all," All Might added.
"I have no idea what silks are, but I'm sure it's another point for BakuAi," Ochako nodded determinedly.
"I'm pretty sure it's pole, but boneless," Kirishima wisely added.
~~
"Can I see one of your routines then? If I'm so mediocre," Midnight scoffed. Her pole routine was perfect.
"Are you sure? I'm a champion, you know? Wouldn't want to hurt your ego," Zero teased good-naturedly.
"Oh, so now you've got an ego? My routine was all about the face. You don't even have one to add flare," Midnight challenged, with a teasing smirk.
"See what you just did? Now I have to go all out," Zero called over his shoulder as he walked into a far closet, emerging with two very high sets of heels, "Remember you asked for this,".
With that declaration, Zero began his quick routine that put Midnight to shame. All Might also decided this was the time for him to leave the room.
~~
"Dear Nezu...I suddenly hope this isn't Aizawa," Ochako said, looking very pale. If only she knew she was watching her crush spin around on a pole in very minimal clothing. (Luckily for her own safety, she did not know that and Katsuki was not forced to commit a crime).
"Lucky for you, those leg muscles are WAY too manly to be anyone but Kirishima," Hagakure added unhelpfully.
"Holy heck! How did he do that? HE'S STANDING ON THE POLE! THAT'S SO MANLY!" Kirishima cheered.
"Oh goodness. That's a lot of... um... bicep... meat," Yaoyozoru stuttered out, blushing slightly.
"Oi! Ponytail watch where your shitty eyes are looking," Katsuki growled.
"I apologize. But that spin? How did he manage to flip his legs around like that without snapping his arms?" Yaoyozoru wondered.
"My husband is amazing," Todoroki sighed.
"Alright wee wee man. This shitty crush of yours better fucking stop before I kick your ass into next week," Katsuki barked.
"Can't hear you over the sound of Zero's immaculate split,".
The stream continued like that for a while. Midnight and Zero jokingly trash-talking one another and making silly routines while 1-A continued to ogle Zero and Katsuki plotted murder.
Midnight went home a pole dancing pro that day. Zero's power was out of this world.
~~
On the other side of the wall in the Todoroki residence:
"What the hell are you doing in my house?" Endeavor grumbled, glaring at All Might. The man was sat criss-cross on his carpet, watching some ancient hero movie called 'Iron Man'. He'd also helped himself to some tea and snacks from his kitchen.
"Watching a movie. I don't want to watch my co-worker and possible student pole dance, especially not with a group of my students. That's weird," All Might elaborated and took a long sip of his tea, then scooted over "Wanna join?"
Endeavor looked at him skeptically for a moment. Then he sighed and sat next to him. They enjoyed the movie peacefully for a while before All Might felt it necessary to break the silence.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"What?"
"Can... Can you actually communicate with demons?"
"..."
"..."
"Shut the hell up and watch the movie."