||NOAH||
"Oh thank you, Noah," Mowery gave me a smile as I brought both him and Danny bags of German sweets and chips. It feels great to be back home and I can't wait to tell everyone about my trip. Still, I'm a bit unnerved because Brad doesn't seem to be even reading my messages. I need to talk to him and Annabel to know what happened while I was gone. Tomorrow, it should be one of the first things I should do when I meet them. I forgot that my bag consisted of both their treats as well the items I bought from the gift shop and Danny brought out a particular item to which he read out loud questioningly, "what's Schwanz?" He asks me. Right then, my father looked away whistling as if trying not to get involved in the situation while my mother gave me a surprised and yet judgmental look with a brow raised.
Oops.
-
Arriving at school, I parked myself at the lot and got off, walking to the front doors of the building. Wandering around, I am early as always and there weren't many people like expected. A few minutes later, I was about to turn to a corner when I heard the voices of two people. One sounded mad and one sounded distraught. I slowly took a peek to see who it is and to my surprise, it is Anna and Brad. Both are stood in the middle of the hall alone and the sounds echoed throughout. I remained quiet and overheard their conversation, "please Brad, I'm sorry. Please Understand..." Annabel's voice whimpered softly.
"No, I don't understand, one bit," he sounded disappointed and frustrated as he turned around to my direction of the corridor. Right then, Annabel took hold of his wrist to stop and look at him with a sad expression. Brad paused and mirrored her look as he shook his head and walked away anyway. I stood stiff from where I was and by the time he passed by me, his head shot in my direction and was surprised by my eavesdropping. I looked at him with big eyes in confusion. Then, he just walked away without saying anything. Staring at his body disappearing to halls of this place, I turned to Anna who was left hugging herself on the floor next to the wall. Sympathetically, I approached her and knelt down to her curled body. As I slowly touched her shoulder, she recoiled back a little bit in shock before noticing me. Later on, she felt overwhelmed and proceeded to embrace me tightly, "I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." she murmured.
"What... happened?" I said, patting her back tenderly.
"It's all my fault I got so carried away in the party," she wiped her eyes. We took a moment to calm down. Annabel still felt very upset with the encounter. Once we got to settle, I sat next to her patiently. Staring at her by her side, I listened.
"I was too careless back there... everyone was having fun and enjoying themselves. Kate, Felix, and I were just casually conversing with each other. Later on, Liam came in the living room where we all were and told everyone to have a drink as he persuaded me to have some..."
I nodded steadily.
"It had... alcohol in it," she fumbled her fingers.
"I took the cup and drank. As the party continued, I interacted with everyone else while continuing to drink more. Before I could even sense the feeling, I became drunk. After that, my memory became blurry. I found myself taking a breather outside in the backyard to calm myself down since the house was filled with a stressful atmosphere and loud music. Maybe about ten minutes passed, a voice suddenly appears behind me, a-and asked what I was doing out here... 'thinking' is what I said..." Annabel's eyes went wide and slowly turned to me with fear.
"It's okay, take your time," I held her hand.
She kept silent for a moment and it looked like she was going to choke. Oddly, this felt familiar like the time I was going to confess my deep secret to my friends. Whatever it is, I'll try to respect what's holding her down.
"I..." she murmured, finding the words carefully and slowly. She squeezed her eyes shut, "I-I said I was thinking about you..." she blurted, avoiding my gaze. I tilted my head at her. "I... I said that... I wish I could get rid of my feelings for you, but also to kiss you, even during the time he and I were... dating..."
My mouth parted slightly as she kept her face away from me. Her hand firmly gripped on me as if she was scared to let go. Then, she gained the courage to look at me, but with both teared eyes and a huge frown, "I soon realized that I was talking to Brad when he forced me to look at him. That's when I knew I made a horrible mistake about confessing my feelings for you to him..." she sobbed and placed her other hand over her tear-stained cheeks as she cried.
"He asked 'why' out of anger, was it selfishness? Was it fear? And I nodded to those..."
"...I'm sorry..."
She gagged. Looking at her, I felt pain rising up to my throat as I watched her break so heavily. I held her head to my chest as I engulfed her trembling body. "It's okay... it's okay..." I whispered.
"I didn't mean to upset him with my reason of breaking up with him..."
With my lips pursed sadly, I asked, "why 'did' you leave him?"
"I... I was scared," she said, "It felt like I was back in TopStar when I dated one of the jocks back then. I thought that I had the confidence to refresh myself and get in a relationship when Brad first asked me out. I was wrong. At the time, Brad was straightforward about a lot of things. I was terrified as the lurking memories kept coming back, fearing that the past might repeat in the future. Things went so fast and I couldn't process. I couldn't understand him before, it's as if I didn't know much about him and I thought he was just the same as my ex. And I was also selfish. I thought that I would be betraying my feelings for you... I-I thought that with the possibilities, there would be a chance that you too had affections for me as well...that is, when in this year..." her voice faded.
"I told you that I'm gay..." I finished her sentence.
"That's when everything fell apart..." she held a grim tone. "You two look so happy together and I didn't want to ruin what you have with him."
"That's why I silenced myself for so long..."
I looked at her weak form with pity. This was a whole lot to take in, but the only thing I could say was, "I'm sorry, I didn't know..."
Annabel shook her head and wiped her eyes with the palm of her hand, "no, don't be..." she said. Leaning backward and giving me a strong and determined look as though her heavy weighted secret has been lifted off her, she spoke "this is my fault... I have to fix this."
"I promise."