The external link I added is the alternate title for this chapter. :3
Chapter XI - Carry On Wayward Son
Rain spray-painted the windshield as the Impala surged forwards down the deserted road. Speed limits were shattered as Dean forced more pressure onto the gas pedal of the old roadster. Sam clenched the bottom of his seat, causing his knuckles to go white. Dean had sped before, but never to that extent. Dean never drove with so much... purpose. The Impala carried them across town, Sam was confused. Dean was taking them out of town. The bridge was only a couple minutes away - and that was without Dean's high speed driving. Dean's forehead was creased with worry, Sam wished that he'd open up. Sam would share the burden with him if Dean would just talk to him. Dean was just praying that he would get there in time again.
"Dean, I'm all for trying to find her, but do you even have the slightest idea where the hell you're going?" Sam asked.
Dean didn't respond. He never peeled his eyes from the road, even though he usually did while driving. No music was on. No speaking commenced. The only sound was the purr of the engine as she roared down the road. Dean stopped when he knew the bridge was near, and he flicked the headlights off. If she wasn't there, Dean wouldn't know where to look. He scarcely remembered her telling him that she'd tried to kill herself with a gun the first time. But he was almost certain that he was right in his guesses. What better place to kill oneself than right there? He jumped out of the car, Sam got out quickly.
"Dean, the bridge? You're sure?" Sam asked, looking at his brother over the sleek onyx roof of the Impala.
Dean managed a nod. He swallowed hard, the lump in his throat only returning. He looked to the bridge, and could see the faintest outline of a figure. His mouth went dry. He slammed the door of the car shut, and took off towards the figure. He didn't dare breathe. He just ran. As fast as he could. She wasn't getting away so easily. Not if he could help it. Dean could faintly hear Sam's footsteps behind him, though he knew it could also have been the blood pounding in his ears. His hair stuck to his forehead, rain drops pelting him viciously. He wanted to yell, he hoped he was yelling. He couldn't hear himself if he was. His heart was beating too fast for him to tell. Dean reached her spot in absolutely no time, panting more than he should have been. Leila shakily turned, her cheeks tear stained. Her feet looked unsteady on the railing.
"Kid, what're you doing?" Dean breathed, doubling over to catch his breath. "I thought you were done with this. I thought you dealt with it."
"Dean..." Leila said, her voice wavering. Sam ran up beside Dean. He already looked like a drowned rat in the pouring rain. "I was never okay. I don't want to be here, and I know you think that things will get better, but they won't. I know they won't." Tears slipped from her eyes, moulding with the raindrops kissing her cheeks.
"They will, though." Dean said, he felt his stomach rise up to his throat. "I know that right now, it feels like the devil is on your ass. Hell, maybe he was for a little while. But he's gone now. He can't come back, you've got nothing to worry about. Sweetheart, you're a teenager. You've still got a lifetime to live, the sky's the limit."
"What's a limitless sky to the wingless?" Leila asked, meeting Dean's eyes. "Maybe that could have worked with that Saint you were trying to find... But I'm sorry, I'm not her. I need to do this."
"Leila," Sam said softly, the name catching in his throat. "I know that sometimes everything seems like it's black. Nothing looks like it will happen. But things do change. The people that were dicks to you, they won't matter. No one will matter. You ran away, got away from those people. Things were starting to look up, couldn't you see it?"
"No," Leila replied, "no I couldn't." Her hair was sticking to her clothes and neck. From what Sam could tell in the scarce light, her face was red from crying.
"You have to try seeing the glass as half full, kid." Dean said, biting his cheek. "Things can and will get better, you just gotta give it time."
"You know, I had this teacher once, and he always had this one saying." Leila let out a hollow, solemn chuckle. She refused to meet either Winchesters' eyes. Dean couldn't shake the sound of the rushing water beneath them. Tears slid down her cheeks. " 'You can't change the past or the future. You can reminisce or make plans, but you can't change anything that hasn't happened yet. The past is gone, and the future is to be. You can't do anything about it - you can only live in the present. The only thing you can change is what's happening right now.' "
"Doesn't that say something?" Sam asked, swallowing the lump in his throat. "Doesn't that tell you that something could change for the better?"
"Or for the worse," Leila replied bitterly. "Can't you guys just let me go? Please, it'd be so much easier. I can't deal with myself anymore."
"What's easier isn't always the best choice, kid." Dean said softly. "I lost Sammy when he was your age. Don't make me lose you too." His voice croaked with the last word.
His mouth tasted sour, mind was a buzz. He wanted all of it to be a dream. He wanted to wake up, and see Leila asleep in the bed next to him and be safe. Not standing on the edge of a bridge while her mind was already in the water. Every ounce of his being was forcing himself not to cry. She didn't even want him to find her, and her only other request was to not cry for her. If he was defying her in one way, he had to stay true in the other. Sam looked at the ground with Dean's statement.
"I was a year older," Sam chided, looking at his brother.
"What?" Dean asked, looking at Sam.
"Seventeen... I was seventeen when I left." Sam replied.
"I really don't care right now, Sammy. One year still proves my point." Dean snapped.
"I'm seventeen," Leila replied quietly. She swallowed hard.
"What?" Sam asked, his voice caught in his throat.
"You guys know what time it is?" Leila asked, finally meeting Dean's eyes. She sniffled, her lip trembling with her deep breath.
"Like two o'clock," Sam answered. With the lack of light hitting Sam, Leila could see the deep, blatant bags under his eyes. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, which made Leila feel even worse.
"Yup," Leila said softly while nodding her head. "Been seventeen for two hours."
The trio stayed silent, Dean bit his cheek. Biting his cheek lowered his guard for a mere half second, which was enough time for a single tear to slip down his face. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting the tear roll. It dribbled down his cheek in a crisp, wet line, falling off the edge of his jaw. Sam felt as if his throat had closed up.
Breaking the silence, Dean managed to find words. "You can't just run away from your problems, kid." He forced himself to look at Leila.
"It's what I do, Dean. I'm sorry." Leila whispered.
She wouldn't meet his eyes. She looked so weak, so small. Dean wished he knew what to say to make her realize that she was wanted and needed. He usually couldn't stop himself from talking - it was as if his verbal diarrhea was constipated by the situation he was stuck in. Leila made him want to choose his words more cautiously. He read through her last note over and over again, trying to pick and choose the proper words that would make her get down from that ledge and go back to the hotel with Sam and him. He needed something. Anything. But nothing came. Normally, Dean would crack a joke to make the situation seem better than it was. Nothing could make someone wanting to kill herself funny.
Each word of the note enlarged, Dean felt like he was overlooking something. Something that could be the difference between what could happen and what should happen. Dean knew that he couldn't mess up, he only had one shot at this. There was no room for error. Each letter was taunting him. It knew as well as he did that he didn't have a clue as to what he could do to get Leila off that railing.
Then it dawned on him. The one thing that could pull her back to sanity. The one thing in her life that she absolutely loved. Dean silently prayed that he was right.
"You know how the Doc wanted to stay in the Old West because he thought it was how he wanted to live?" Dean asked, looking up at her.
Leila nodded, sniffling. "Of course I do. You know that's my favourite movie."
"But in the end he came back and lived the life he was meant to live, not the one that he wanted?" Dean said, gnawing on his bottom lip.
Leila nodded, "The climactic ending to end all climactic endings." She commented.
The rain beat down harder, Leila was soaked to the bone. Her hair clung to her tear stained cheeks. Her chest heaved, it felt like an anvil was pressed against her ribcage. She knew exactly where he was going, and she didn't know how to tell him that it wouldn't work.
"Look, I know you think that the only way that you think you're going to be happy is if you're not breathing anymore. Hell, sometimes I've thought that was the only thing I could do too. But kid, that's not the way to go. There's so much you can do. If you really wanted to, you could stay with Sammy and I, come hunting with us. Lord knows I wouldn't give you a gun, but I know that you could help. If you stay, you get that pie I offered you last time this happened. I'll even try listening to that band you talked about with the hair stylists. The hell was that called?" He asked, looking at her.
A smile pulled at the corner of her lips. "One Direction," Leila answered, "And you'd hate it, I know you would."
"Well it's no AC DC, but I'm sure I can deal with it," Dean said, tilting his head to the side.
"Dean, I appreciate that you want to try to fix this, I really do. But I really need to do this. This is what I was meant to do. And the voices.." Leila sniffled, "God, the voices are so loud."
"Voices?" Dean asked.
"You don't think that those demons just left, do you?" Leila asked, shaking her head. "They just went back into my head. They're screaming right now, they want me to take the step."
"Kid, you gotta realize that you can't do it. You gotta tune those voices out, they aren't real. I'm actually here, Sammy's actually here. We're going to get you through this." Dean said, "Just like part three."
"Dean, this isn't a movie." Leila whispered, her voice hurting with each word.
"But isn't it? Doc Brown didn't want to leave the Old West because he thought it would be better for him. Marty wanted him to come with him and the Doc just shut him down, but in the end-"
"He came back," Leila finished. She nodded, looking at Dean.
Looking into his teary apple green eyes, Leila knew what she had to do. The man in front of her was doing everything in his power to make sure that she didn't jump. He wanted her alive. She had a reason to stay. The man in front of her, his dirty blonde hair and leather jacket dripping wet, was there for her. His brother, drenched as well, was on the brink of tears, but was trying to be strong. Sam and Dean freaking Winchester. Leila looked between the two and bowed her head in defeat. Realization removed the deadly anvil from her chest.
This could wait for another day.
"Alright McFly, the Doc's coming back. But first you gotta tell me who Sam is in this enormous Back to the Future analogy you got going on." She said, wiping her cheeks with the back of her hand.
"Einstein of course," Dean answered, a smirk on his face. He let out a chuckle, mostly in relief. He wanted to fall to his knees and thank God - he'd actually done it. "I mean, look at that mop of hair. They're practically identical."
Sam managed a smile when Leila laughed, relief flooding through him. There were still tears in her eyes, but somehow Sam knew everything would be okay. Dimples shining, he shook his head. His dripping wet brown locks skimmed his cheeks. Dean offered his hand to Leila, Sam could see water droplets trickling off it. Leila leaned to get it, losing her footing. Dean went to grab her arm, but missed as both arms flew backwards as she tried to steady herself. Her foot slid off of the railing, Dean yelled in protest.
Leila fell into the river below.
*****
A.N. You know how I said that this was the last chapter? I lied... sort of. There'll be a second part. I'm not going to be that mean to all of you. You're allowed to kill me after Part II, alright? ;)
Hope you enjoyed, please vote/ comment/ fan if you did!
What does the last chapter have in store for you all? *slow, deep laughter turns into maniacal laughter* Have fun waiting, loves.
Until next time, hunters and warriors,
-Thalia