This chapter is dedicated to the fantastic: trina1010 <3
THERE WERE A MILLION SCENARIOS RUNNING THROUGH MY HEAD.
I pulled Ethan aside. "Could we talk?" I whispered.
I wanted to clear things up before anything got out of hand. Ethan was far from the jealous type, but I didn't want him to think I was the kind of girl to run back to her ex-boyfriend a month after our break up. Ethan had the right to know what was going on.
Ethan glanced over at Evan and Caroline. "I'm on shift."
"When do you finish?" I asked.
His lack of response caused my stomach to knot.
Maybe he was so upset he didn't want to talk to me. "In four hours."
Something about his tone made me feel funny. "I'll wait then."
"Why?" he asked plainly. Ethan wasn't looking at me. "You don't owe me an explanation, Julie. You don't owe me anything. So, don't trouble yourself. I'm sure you have a reason."
I swallowed the lump in my throat. I had hurt him.
Apologizing felt strange and explaining myself right now felt even stranger. What happened to us? We could have been happily engaged. I would be visiting him to say hello instead of avoiding him. Things would be different between us.
"I didn't hear you say you didn't want me to wait," I said quietly. "So, I'll see you when you're done. Five minutes."
Ethan didn't say anything, but I took it as a yes.
"See you then," I murmured before heading over to Evan.
I had come here to comfort Evan. I had lost sight of that, but now was not the time to have a long-winded talk with Ethan. As much as I wanted to burst with explanations about how Evan and I were co-workers now and there was nothing between us, I had a promise to fulfill first. I had to be there for Evan.
Ethan left shortly the room after I reached Caroline's side. "Who's this chickadee?" she asked, her eyes kind and inquisitive. She was pretty in a soft, hazy way. The same raised eyebrows and milky brown hair as Evan.
"She's Julie. We work together," Evan answered. "We were in the middle of dinner when I go the call. What happened?"
Caroline ignored his question and smiled at me instead. "Julie? Julie Carson, that Julie?"
I laughed nervously. "The one and only, as far as I know."
How did she know who I was? Had Evan told her about me?
"You never forget your brother's first love," she quipped. "Actually, that sounds weird. Scratch that. Sorry, you must be freaked out especially since we've never met before."
First love. It was strange to hear myself being called someone's first.
I hadn't heard that phrase in reference to myself in a long time.
I side-eyed Evan. "I'm just curious about how you know of me and maybe how much you know of me."
"It's nothing really," Evan butted in. "I mentioned you once or twice while we were dating forever ago. Then I brought up that we were working together again."
"Weird, isn't it?" she asked mirthfully. "It's like fate brought you guys back together. Maybe the universe wants you to have a second chance, you know? Like me and David," she said as she rubbed the small, barely-noticeable bump in her belly.
"Ro, stop. It's just coincidences," Evan asserted.
I didn't believe in fate or any cosmic being called 'the universe' but I believed in God. I definitely believe things happen for a reason and more importantly for a purpose, but I wouldn't out-right say it was to give Evan and me a second chance. It was more like a second chance to bury the hatchet if either of us had any lingering issues—namely mine with avoiding the past—and whatever Evan wanted to bring up along with working together on his book.
"What do you think, Jules?" she asked brightly.
I was taken aback. She knew my nickname. "About the situation?"
"You don't have to answer that or anything. My sister has her head in the clouds," Evan sighed. He scowled at Caroline who stuck her tongue out back at him. She looked so young, barely even 20 years old if I had to make a guess.
I felt her heavy stare.
The Southern hospitality in me found it hard to deny a pregnant woman. In fact, I was half-tempted to run around for extra pillows for her comfort or look for cafeteria crackers in case she felt nauseous. "I was a fan of it at first, I'll admit, but it's a great opportunity to...catch up. Evan's a really talented writer."
She snorted. "He's such a sap. Did you read all that mushy stuff in his little love letter slash ode to the girl who broke his heart? If I didn't already have morning sickness, I would have thrown up because of that book."
So I was right.
Someone did hurt him.
"Julie hasn't read that," Evan said.
"Actually..." I was going to mention it at dinner. Now seemed like a perfectly reasonable time to bring it up. "I read it. Only the first few chapters...Mr. Petras gave it to me to look over, but it felt wrong to continue it without you know first."
Evan placed his head in his hands. "He wasn't supposed to give you that."
"Don't be embarrassed, Ev," Caroline shushed. "It's cringey in a good way. I think you should publish that book instead, not the boring story about that old man and his mid-life crisis. We lived through that with dad. That story has been put to rest."
"Did anyone ever tell you that you talk too much?" While Evan looked incredibly frustrated, he didn't lash out at Caroline in the slightest. Instead, he poured water into her empty bedside cup before returning his hand back to where it had been resting on her forearm.
"Jules, doesn't mind it. Right?"
Again with the nickname.
Maybe I was overthinking it, but usually, only Evan and Yoona would ever think to call me 'Jules'. To everyone it was Julie except to my mother when she was upset, it was Julie Ann Carson.
I laughed genuinely. "I like it."
Caroline was like her brother: incredibly easy to talk to. She had slipped her way into and out of subjects with ease. She made you feel comfortable from the first word she uttered.
"Also! Next time, you don't have to rush here looking as pale as Casper the Ghost. I just had some heartburn, and I wanted to check it out. We can't be too careful," she sung cheerfully. Again, her hand caressed her belly with warm affection.
I had met Caroline for a total of twenty-four minutes, but I could already tell she would make a great mother. I wondered where her husband was...probably that David guy she mentioned...she had proudly displayed the diamond ring on her right hand, but I decided it wasn't any of my business to ask such personal questions.
"I thought it was serious," Evan grumbled. "I really thought something bad happened to you or the baby, Ro."
She pushed away his hand. "If you want to be some actual good, grab me a vanilla and chocolate swirl pudding cup from the cafeteria. Mama needs her sugar. I think it's half the calories cause the baby and I are going split-sies."
I smiled.
"Almost two months," she told me blithely.
Evan stood up to get to the cafeteria. "I'll leave you two to chat."
"I'm tired," she grumbled. "I love chatting with you both, but I'm pooped. So, why don't you go with him, Jules? Don't forget to leave the pudding cup when you get back, and then you can skedaddle."
I gathered my things awkwardly.
I still had nearly three and a half hours to kill here. Might as well grab myself a pudding cup if Evan was going to swing by the cafeteria.
"Lead the way," Evan said once we reached the door.
I tried to wave my goodbye to Caroline who surprisingly had already knocked out.
"Sorry about Ro," he apologized the second we left the room. "She can be overly familiar with people sometimes. It can get on people's nerves."
"Really?" Despite some initial apprehension on my part, Caroline was bright, funny, and delightful to be around. "Caroline's great. I wish I got to meet her when we were together."
Evan's expression softened. "She was away for a while."
"Away?" I inquired, hoping to not cross any boundaries.
"Our parents divorced when I was in high school," he said.
I had known that.
"Mom took Caroline, and my dad was stuck with me."
I hadn't known that part.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," I said as we walked past the double doors into the east wing of the hospital where the cafeteria was located.
"Nah, don't be sorry. I don't really talk about it even now," he said.
Part of me wanted to tell him that talking about your feelings with people was important, but I knew what a hypocrite I was when it came to really speaking my mind. Sure, I had my moments of honesty recently, but it had taken me years to even work up the nerve to bring up the past with Evan.
Was it always going to be like that?
"When my dad died," I said, surprising myself. "I didn't know who to talk to about it. My mom threw herself into the funeral arrangements then onto me and Kathy's lives. Kathy was constantly crying or needing comfort. It felt like..."
I paused when I saw the way Evan was looking at me.
At first, I feared it was the pity. I had always dreaded the looks people gave me when they were feeling bad that I felt bad. They felt sorry for me, but in the end, it was focused on themselves at least in Northwick. It was a competition of who felt worse for me.
That wasn't the look Evan gave me. "It felt like everyone needed someone to be okay, and no one could understand me, so why bother?"
It felt cathartic to say that out loud to someone.
"People care about you, Jules. Even if they don't understand, and they'd be lying if they did say they understood." Evan stopped at the doors to the cafeteria. "I care about you, Jules."
I didn't even realize my eyes had been watering.
"I care about you too."
And I meant it.
Funny how meaningful talks before grabbing pudding could be.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Guys! I really would love to get to #1 on the #real rankings. Every vote and comment really drives me up there, so please if you enjoyed click that little star icon on the corner and if you have the time leave a short lil ole comment for me to read and respond to! Much love <3
ALSO: I really loved how this chapter panned out! I wasn't sure what route I wanted to take with Julie's sudden clash with Ethan again, but I really enjoyed Caroline's entrance. She not only adds a nice comedic relief to the heaviness, but her own character is rich and complex too. I also like alternating between Evan and Ethan's screentime. I know their names are similar guys and honestly, they're both looking like great guys. :)
Any hashtag teams yet? I'm always #TEAMJULIE