#NewClassicILIB
Chapter 22
Go and Leave Me
"How are you at home?" Kuya Zedrick asked me as he just finished placing our orders. "Is everything fine?"
Since we were not staying at the same house after he moved out just a few days ago, he missed me right away and asked me if we could have dinner together.
I was reluctant about accepting his invitation at first because I didn't feel like I had the energy to eat out, but I also couldn't say no to my brother. I knew he was trying to make things alright for me, even though he had his own feelings and pain to settle. But it was just like him. He would always put me first more than anything. I would always be in his priority.
"Wala namang problema sa bahay..." tahimik kong sagot.
Bahagya siyang tumango ngunit nakakunot ang kanyang noo. "How about daddy?" sunod niyang tanong. "Is he taking care of you well enough?"
Pursing my lips, I nodded.
Kuya Zedrick looked doubtful. He was uncertain whether I was telling the truth or not. But I wasn't lying.
My father stayed true to his words and even went overboard to the point that it felt like he became a new person. He was doing everything he could to show me how amazing he could be as a father. Though it was unfortunate that such a tragic thing had to happen before he stepped up. It was a pity that my brother couldn't experience it as well.
Honestly, his efforts and persistence became my stepping stone. He picked me up and pushed me hard until I could finally feel myself slowly moving forward. He and Kuya Zedrick became my strength as they are my only family left.
We were all hurting. We all lost someone we love dearly. It made me realize that we were also each other's strength because we were the only ones who could understand one another the most.
Masakit man aminin sa sarili na hindi ko masyadong nabigyan ng halaga si mommy noong nabubuhay pa siya, pero susubukan kong bumangon ulit para iparamdam kina daddy at Kuya Zedrick ang halaga nila sa akin. Ngunit alam kong hindi ko kailangang magmadali. I knew I shouldn't force it because I would fail no matter what. I would take my time to heal and get back stronger than I was before.
"If you have any problem at home, don't hesitate to message or call me, okay?" Kuya Zedrick reminded me.
Tipid na lamang akong ngumiti sa kanya at tumango.
After we ate dinner, Kuya Zedrick drove me home. It was unusual to see him leaving once he dropped me off, instead of going inside with me. It was one of the changes that I had to adapt myself to.
"You're home." Napangiti at sinalubong ako ni daddy nang makapasok ako sa bahay. "Hinatid ka ba ng kuya mo?"
Since I might worry him, I texted him earlier that I wouldn't be eating dinner at home. Sinabi ko rin sa kanya na kasama ko si Kuya Zedrick kaya wala siyang dapat ipag-alala.
"Opo," sagot ko. "Akyat na po ako, 'ddy."
"Okay, okay..." He nodded, still wearing a fatherly smile. "You should rest now. You must be tired."
I smiled and just bid goodnight, before I went up to my room. I only had one assignment and I already did it while waiting for Kuya Zedrick earlier. Wala na akong gagawin kaya maaga akong natulog at maaga rin akong nagising.
Nakaluto na si daddy ng umagahan nang matapos akong maligo at mag-ayos para sa eskuwela. Simula noong umalis si Manang Ruby dahil sa katandaan ay si mommy na ang nagluluto. Ngayon naman na wala siya ay si daddy na ang sumalo noon. I would then extend my hands to do household chores.
Kapag maaga ang pasok ko ay isinasabay ako ni daddy papunta sa kanyang opisina. Minsan ay sinusundo niya rin ako kapag hindi siya gagabihin ng uwi. He was still a bit busy at work, but not like before. He knew how to handle his time already.
"Maaga ang uwian mo mamaya, 'di ba?" tanong sa akin ni daddy nang huminto kami sa harapan ng main gate. "Kapag nakauwi ka na, magpadeliver ka na lang ng gusto mong kainin."
I only had three classes for the day. Dalawa sa umaga at isa pagkatapos ng lunch break kaya maaga ang uwian ko.
Ngumuso ako bahagya. "Puwede po akong magluto."
My father's eyes lit up. "Sure!" he excitedly exclaimed. "Kung wala kang gagawin, puwede naman."
"Okay po," mabilis kong sagot dahil mukhang nagmamadali na rin siya sa pagpasok sa opisina.
I didn't delay him more and went out of his car quickly. He immediately stepped on the accelerator once I was out. Hindi na rin ako nagbagal pa at tumungo na ako sa aking unang klase ngayong araw.
During lunch break, as soon as I was done eating, I decided to go to the library. Balak kong mag-aral para sa quiz sa huling subject na papasukan ko ngayong araw. Iniligpit ko na ang aking pinagkainan nang dumaan sa aking harapan ang dalawang taong hindi ko inaasahang makikitang magkasama.
My lips parted. I was filled with curiosity when I saw Blair and Gael together. They looked so close to each other. They were clearly having a good time that it felt scandalous for me to watch them.
I had seen Blair smile for Isaiah, but I could tell the difference on how she smiled at Gael. She smiled so comfortable and carefree like she didn't care what other people would think. I couldn't stop myself from thinking that they were more than friends. However, I disregarded that thought.
What about Isaiah?
May kaunting kirot akong naramdaman nang maisip si Isaiah. I knew I shouldn't be thinking about him, but I couldn't stop myself. Hindi ko maiwasan ang sariling isipin kung ano ang nangyari sa kanilang dalawa ni Blair.
My thoughts were haywire for the rest of the day. I wasn't even sure if I wrote the right answers to the test earlier. I didn't want myself to get eaten by my troubling thoughts again. So like what I always did before, I kept myself busy.
Bago umuwi ay nag-grocery muna ako para sa lulutuin kong hapunan namin ni daddy. Pagkauwi ay agad akong nagpalit ng damit bago nagsimula sa pagluluto. I chose a cuisine that was hard to cook. I was satisfied that it took so much of my time.
Good thing my father also came home earlier. He got home around 6 in the evening. I just finished cooking our dinner. Kumain na agad kaming dalawa hanggang mainit pa ang pagkain. I wanted to wash the dishes, but daddy took care of it right away. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang bumalik sa aking kuwarto para lamunin lamang ng mga naiisip.
I decided to take a quick shower, thinking that doing it would keep me from thinking. However, I made a fool of myself as I found myself drowning in thoughts while showering. In the end, I failed as I reactivated my account to check about the recent news about New Classic―or to probably just check Isaiah's profile.
Wala akong kabali-balita tungkol sa banda. I made sure to cut strings between me and the band before I took a break from the fandom. Basta ang alam ko lang, gaya ng gusto kong mangyari ay nailipat na kay Dawn ang posisyon na dating akin dahil iyon ang pinakiusap ko kay Mr. Joel.
Now, there's no way to stop myself from entering their world again. Isaiah's magnetic force was too strong for me to avoid and resist. As soon as I stood at the opposite pole, opening my mind to the thoughts of him, I was immediately being pulled closer―without the strength to keep myself in place. I was like a moth foolishly attracted to flame, even though I knew it could only burn me.
@NewClassicOfficial
New Classic's new single 'Go and Leave Me' out now!
#NewClassic #GoAndLeaveMe
The recent post was posted two hours ago, and the next tweet was a link to the short Q&A article about the new single. My curiosity urged me to read the article.
Q: What is the title of your new single?
A: It's entitled Go and Leave Me. ―Ike Rolloque
Q: Like your other songs, is this also a song written by the members of the band?
A: Well, sort of. The song is written and composed by Isaiah. We only took part with the arrangements. ―Sic Jaranilla
Q: What is the song about?
A: It's a song which expresses the pain that a person feels when they're hurting. The person understands why the one he loves has to leave them, but he can't help but to feel the pain. Aside from that, it also conveys mixed feelings. The person is hurting and wants to be set free. But at the same time, he also wants his beloved to come back to him. ―Isaiah Mallari
Q: What do you think is the distinction of this song to your other songs?
A: That's easy. This song in painful. We have never released a song for the brokenhearted, but if anyone's looking for it―this is finally it. ―Jirro Salvare
Reading what the song was about, it made me believe more that things between Isaiah and Blair had finally ended. And to understand more about Isaiah's feelings, I put on my earphones and searched for the song on a famous music platform to listen to it.
The way you got out of the doors and left
It's like you locked me up inside a painful shed
I can't escape no matter how I try
Hoping that you'll open the doors tonight
Seeing you with someone else
Tears my heart apart
I just need to accept
And face that you're gone
The song sounded so heavy that I could feel it in my chest. I could hear the pain etched on Isaiah's voice with clarity.
You just go and leave me
You just tear me apart
Go and leave me out of breath
Go and leave me broken hearted
You just made me feel
That our love was real
But then, you go and leave me out of breath
Go and leave me broken hearted
Once again, pain started to well up again in my heart. I clenched my fist and shut my eyes firmly as the song went to its climax.
Around the room, I'll wait for you
Set me free like what I did to you
Scars were written in my heart
Bleeding as it tears me apart
Seeing you with someone else
Tears my heart apart
I just need to accept
And face that you're gone
Oh-oh...
When Isaiah hit the high note, the raspiness of his voice got intense.
You just go and leave me
You just tear me apart
Go and leave me out of breath
Go and leave me broken hearted
You just made me feel
That our love was real
But then, you go and leave me out of breath
Go and leave me broken hearted
(Go and leave me
Go and leave me)
Go and leave me,
But please come back...
It hurt so much to hear him in pain. Though I didn't know what happened between them, I couldn't stop from feeling irrational anger towards Blair for hurting him.
He loved her so much, but she just threw that love away to waste. It angered me because she didn't appreciate and cherish his love that I longed to have.
Kung alam niya lang kung gaanong kadaming babae ang nangangarap na mapunta sa kanyang posisyon. If I were her, I wouldn't let go of Isaiah. But then again, who was I to judge?
Binabase ko lamang ang aking opiniyon sa aking nararamdaman. Wala akong ideya kung ano ang nangyari sa kanilang dalawa. Hindi ko alam kung bakit niya iyon nagawa at binitawan si Isaiah. Wala akong kaalam-alam, pero hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sariling makaramdam ng galit para sa kanya.
Once I was done listening to the song, I suddenly felt so suffocated inside my room. I removed my earphones and decided to walk outside. Niyakap ko ang aking sarili nang maramdaman ang pagdampi sa akin ng hangin. The night breeze was unusually colder tonight. I regretted not wearing cardigan.
My feet led me to the park near our house. It had been a while since the last time I went here. Hanggang ngayon ay dala-dala ko pa rin ang alaalang nangyari ilang taon na ang nakalipas.
Napabuntonghininga ako at nagdesisyon na pumunta sa duyan. I stopped midway when I saw a familiar figure of a man, sitting on the bench where my brother and I usually sat before. Medyo nagdalawang-isip pa ako dahil hindi ko alam kung bakit siya mapupunta rito, but my heart knew him so well.
He was sitting straight but his head was bent down. His hands were clasped together. It was an image of a man who's in pain.
Wanting to comfort him, I took a step forward, only to stop when I realized that he might wanted to be alone. And to be honest, I wasn't sure if I could comfort him when I was also in pain. However, before I could turn my heel around and go back home, he suddenly snapped his head up.
My heart jumped when our eyes met. He looked surprised to see me as his lips slightly parted.
"Zendaya?" I heard him say.
Deciding whether to approach him or leave him, I fidgeted a lot from where I stood. But then, even if it was obviously forced, he smiled―and it was enough for me to calm down and stay.