I felt my heart start pumping again, blood pumping through me, the air back in my lungs.
Though it was hard to move, I sat upright to face an overjoyed Gaia, an amazed Miller, and an incredibly confused Ryker.
"I knew you were too stubborn to die," Miller laughed.
I raised an eyebrow, while Gaia smiled, "Good to have you back."
"I didn't cry, did I?" I joked.
We all laughed a little, "Only a little."
"How did you-"
I cut Ryker off. Quite literally. My dagger slotted itself in the wall just past him.
He clutched his throat, making slight choking noises, "That's for Clarke."
Ryker dropped to the ground, dead.
My friends looked at me, astounded, especially as I smiled a little, "Jus drein, jus daun."
Blood must have blood.
Gaia and Miller helped me up and made a pair of makeshift crutches for me to walk with.
"How did you do that?" Miller asked, "You were dead for a whole minute."
"I kept fighting," I answered, wiping the wet tears off my cheeks.
We moved to a 'safe' building, where I sat down. At least I could move around on crutches.
When they left, I hummed to myself, the lullaby my father used to sing to me.
"What did I miss?" Murphy strolled in, then gasped.
"What?" I asked, "Shocked to see me alive?"
Murphy frowned, "But- your spine broke-"
"So I'm paralyzed from the waist down," I finished, "I also died, but I was feeling pretty stubborn, so I came back to annoy you guys."
"Wha-"
I cut him off, "Not the time. Is Clarke really gone?"
"I'm sorry, but they were trying- Josephine killed her," Murphy said nervously.
He obviously expected me to lash out and try to kill him for helping. But first of all, I knew Emori's life was on the line, so he'd do anything.
Secondly, I compartmentalize. That means that I'll only let myself think of the emotional side of Clarke's death after I solve the many leadership problems that come with it.
"Don't you hate me?" Murphy asked.
"They threatened Emori," I said, "I understand."
Everyone looked astonished at that.
"What's the plan?" I asked.
Raven burst into the room, her eyes filled with tears. Murphy asked, "What happened?"
"Shut up," Raven snapped before storming away again.
"What-" Jackson walked in next, in the same state as Raven.
Murphy turned to me as I asked, "What happened?"
"Russel was talking to Abby. Raven and Jackson were there trying to help Madi, but Russel stopped them," Murphy said, "Emori and I left."
"Jackson," I stood up and walked over to them, "Raven. Where's Abby?"
Jackson wouldn't even look at me, but the sight of Ravens face said it all. Her hair curled slightly around her teary eyes. Her face got even more red when I mentioned Abby.
That look-
"No," I muttered, "She can't be-"
"Russel murdered her to get Simone back," Jackson snapped, "Because he couldn't kill you or Echo."
Where was this going?
"Echo is a murderer," Jackson continued, "And you are a coward. You're both monsters, but Abby was good. If you two had just died, Abby would still be here!"
He lunged forwards and punched me in the face. With only crutches to steady myself, I tumbled to the ground.
"Jackson-" Miller tried to hold the assistant doctor back.
"Don't," Gaia assumes I meant for Jackson to stop. I meant for Miller not to stop him, "I deserve it."
Jackson continued to lash out, unaware that I couldn't feel or move anything from the waist down.
"I know you're mad," I said, "But Russel killed her, just like he killed Clarke. So next time I see him, I will slit his throat."
"Don't you get it?" Jackson asked, "Clarke's alive. She's pretending to be Josephine to get to the Primes."
She wasn't dead. Good, my emotionless side whispered to em. We need at least one doctor.
One that wasn't out of their mind with grief like Jackson.
Jackson walked away, sitting next to Raven.
"Little help?" I mumbled.
Gaia pulled me upright and helped me grab the crutches. They dug into my shoulders, but at least I could move on my own.
"Why do you have crutches?" Raven and Jackson glared at me, their eyes like daggers.
"Ryker broke my spine," I snapped, "so I killed him." They looked at me like I was crazy, "I guess I am a monster."
I used the crutches to leave the building, which was very awkward, since I had to balance carefully to ram my shoulder into the door.
"Where are you going?" Raven asked.
"To kill Russel Prime," I answered.
I came face to face with Clarke.
"I thought Ryker killed you," A perfect imitation of Josie's bored voice.
"He did," I said, "Gaia and Miller brought me back."
Clarke nodded, "Lemme guess. Something n about how death changes you and makes you a better person?"
"I take it you saw Ryker's dead body?" Clarke nodded as I held up a dagger, "Where's his mind drive?"
"Chill, I'm Clarke."
I smiled, "I know. Just felt like scaring you."
She raised an eyebrow, "Seriously?"
Her face was red, as though she'd been crying. Josephine would never cry, but Clarke- she knew Abby was gone.
I pulled her into an awkward hug with my crutches, "I'm so sorry about Abby."
"We're using Ryker's mind drive to get Priya to tell the truth," Clarke said, "A crowd's gathering. Let's destroy peace."
It sounded crazy, like we were intentionally not doing better, but what good is peace when it comes at the cost of our lives? For Abby.
Clarke made her announcement, and I saw the others hiding, so I joined them. I didn't want to get caught in the crossfire when this crowd got out of control.
I heard, "Please, for Delilah."
Then, a muffled groan of agony, "For Delilah."
Delilah's parents just killed Priya, the 'god' who killed their daughter. But a quick death. For Delilah.
"What's with the crutches?" Bellamy asked.
I really couldn't deal with his caring heart right now, or his worry when he found out, so I just snapped, "Not now."
A mob broke out, trapping us inside a building.
"Russel released the red sun toxin," Bellamy sighed, "That means he caught Gabriel."
I spotted Octavia in the dark, "Blodreina?"
"She's gone," Octavia said, "Just good old sky girl now."
Lincoln and Indra's old nickname for her, "Good to have you back."
There was a banging on the door, "That can't be good," Bellamy muttered.
"It isn't," Miller agreed.
But the pounding on the metal stopped. The silence was worse.
Gas canisters fell through the vents in the roof. I tried not to breathe in the fumes, but I failed.
I collapsed on the floor with the others, unconscious.