Tess
The first day of the school year was finally over and things were going smoothly. After my speech that morning I was on a high. I'd received my timetable, been allocated all my favourite teachers, and even landed History with my best friend Lottie. Even though I already had a ton of homework to do, my senior year wasn't as dreadful as I'd thought.
I got on the bus to go home, seated towards the back by the window in my usual spot, and waited for Lottie to join me. Since I was in meetings during lunch for important School Captain business, I didn't have the chance to talk with her. I looked out the window waiting to catch sight of her bouncing down the front steps and before I knew it, there she was. I sat up excitedly when I spotted her rushing towards the bus. She waved to me from outside and I waved back. She had this childish energy that I loved about her. She had been the same since we were kids and while I stressed over everything, she just took things as they came, smiled, and carried on.
Lottie came to a halt in the doorway of the bus.
"Oh no, my binder! I left in the toilet. Arty!! Wait for me? I'll be two seconds!" Arty, the bus driver rolled his eyes and sighed.
"Two seconds," he grumbled.
Lottie didn't even have time to reply. She was on her heels again, racing back up to front steps her two braids bouncing along behind her. I doubt Arty, or any bus driver, would wait usually for anyone but this was Lottie. She was the type of person who bothered to ask and remember Arty's birthday. She even baked him cupcakes every year.
I sat waiting for her again. I was eager to hear what stories she had to tell about her day; what teachers she got or what cute boys were in her class this year. She was always a whirlwind of events, overdramatic and I honestly thrived on it. While I waited, my attention fell on a boy, Clay. I had Maths with him last year and spent most of my time staring at him from across the room. Clay was quite popular, devastatingly polite and everyone found him attractive. He was tall, fit, had a gorgeous smile, wavy brown hair, and was the best on the School Soccer team. The only downfall, he sucked at Math more than I did and I was terrible. And when I say terrible, I mean completely and utterly atrocious.
Clay was walking down the front steps with his long-time girlfriend, Myra, who was as equally beautiful; long dark hair, dark skin, they were obviously both made in heaven. Like James O'Donnell being every teachers' wet dream, Clay and Myra were every single girls' ultimate fantasy couple goals.
All jealousy aside, it made me happy to see a couple like that. They passed a group of four fellow seniors sitting on the low brick fence outlining the perimeter of the school. They all exchanged 'hellos' and small talk; Clay even shook one of the other guy's hands, his name was Chris. Shortly after, Clay and Myra left out of view towards the car-park and my attention was left on the group of friends they were just talking too.
I knew them, everyone did. This was a small town with a small high school with around six-hundred students. It was a blessing and a curse really. There was a hierarchy, like every school but it wasn't strictly followed, and having a small population meant bullying was easily controlled. Although, the downside was that news traveled fast. The good and the bad.
Most people knew of Chris and his three friends because they sold everyone pot. Every afternoon when the bell rang to end the day, their group would sit on the brick wall while Chris did his business. It seemed bizarre to do it in front of the school but no one seemed to care. I've seen students from every group buy from Chris in the afternoon; popular kids, athletes, band kids, geeks, and I've even seen the real religious kids getting a fix. There were also rumors that Chris sells to some of the teachers and that's why they haven't bothered him about it but I don't think anyone knows if it's really true, it was just a rumor after all...
No one ratted Chris out because he was everyone's source and if he disappeared there would be a lot of angry people ready to punish whoever dobbed him in. And I don't think anyone was ready for that kind of beating. It really wasn't worth it.
I had a few of my classes with two of Chris' friends, Brielle and Tom. They always sat together, keeping to themselves just talking and laughing. They'd been dating since forever and I don't think I remember a time when they weren't. Brielle was slim and sported godly large breast for her size, which I'd kill for but she covered them up with long shirts and denim jackets. She had short blonde hair which would look gorgeous without the mess of pastel blue and pink streaks. My Father would flip if my hair looked like that but it suited her.
Tom was quieter than the other two. He wore long sleeves all year round and had quite a large collection of patterned socks. But what interested me most about him was that he was never far from Brielle and not in a possessive or psycho way either. The two of them just stuck like glue and you could easily see he truly loved her just by the way he looked at her. His face softened, eyes watched her carefully and his smile was contagious. I always wondered what it was like to have a love like that. To look at someone and see the entire universe...
Then there was Chris stuffing another wad of money into the pockets of his dirty ripped jeans. I had History last year and his clothing always bugged me. He always looked like he'd just got out of bed when he came to school; wrinkled clothes, stained shirts, and odd socks. And to top it all off, his long brown hair always looked as if he never brushed it. Knowing him, he probably didn't. Thankfully, he covered it most days with a red beanie, even in summer. In History, he sat up the back alone and mostly slept. One time he slept through an entire school day and no one bothered to wake him. It became a sort of running joke for a while, people thought it was hilarious.
I sat and waited for Lottie to appear again. I just wanted to get home, put the kettle on, and change into my favourite track pants. There was a mountain of homework on my mind and plenty of meetings to prepare for.
I looked back over at Chris and his friends. Chris leaned lazily against the bricks talking to Tom and Brielle who sat on the wall next to him. Tom had his hand rested on Brielle's thigh and she was laughing, waving her hands around like she was acting out some kind of dramatic story. My eyes wandered to their friend Kitt. The fourth person in their 'gracious' little group. Strangely, I hadn't had any classes with him. Ever.
He wasn't in any sporting teams, social groups, or school clubs like his friends. Brielle and Tom did photography together and worked on the school magazine. Hell, Chris was even in a group helping backstage on school plays. Not that he did much. But Kitt did nothing. I don't even recall hearing him speak more than a few words in all our years together at Hampton High.
He always wore black or white t-shirts, black jeans and was definitely the quietest one of them all; mostly just watching, listening to his friends with the same placid look on his face. Sometimes he smiles but never a real full smile like Clay or Lottie. Something tells me he only does it to be polite. Other than that, I knew he was a smoker, which I hated. After school, while they waited for Chris to finish, Kitt would whip out his cigarettes and lean against the wall smoking. I don't want to imagine what he'd smell like. I crinkled my nose just thinking about it.
I grabbed headphones out of my backpack and plugged them into my phone. I pressed shuffle and looked out the window one last time. Tom was helping Brielle down from the wall. Chris was openly counting cash in his hands and Kitt was looking straight at me.
Oh Shit.
I looked away quickly, feeling his eyes still burning into me through the bus window. I stuffed my headphones into my ears suddenly feeling embarrassed for staring at them so long. I could feel my cheeks getting warmer and my stomach turned.
Did he know I was staring?
Or was it just a coincidence?
There was an urge to look again, and I hated it. Perhaps if he wasn't looking at me, I wouldn't have to move towns and change my name out of sheer embarrassment. I could go on, live my life, and get a college degree as I planned. So, to be sure, I looked again.
Kitt's eyes found mine. I felt my face become intensely hot; I knew for sure there was no hiding the redness this time. I couldn't read the expression on his face and it terrified me but at the same time, I couldn't look away.
Was he mad at me for staring?
He took one last long draw of his cigarette and flicked it to the ground stepping on it. I watched him put his hands in his pockets and turn, breaking our gaze to catch up with his friends, who had started walking to the parking lot. I let out a breath, only just realizing that I was holding it in. I felt so foolish. Of course, he knew I was staring, I wasn't trying very hard to hide that. I just didn't expect him to notice. I guess I'll have to run away during the night and get a new identity after all... Lottie came crashing down onto the seat next to pulling me back from my thoughts. I didn't even notice her getting back into the bus. She breathed heavily, the purple binder in hand.
"You wouldn't believe it Tess. I ran so fast. I think I should try out for the...cross country team." She babbled between breaths.
I turned to her, pulling out one of my headphones and smiled. I was so glad to see her. She began to talk about her day and a calming feeling rose over me. I loved how she could take away all my worries with her constant chatter. I'd hoped she could help me forget my embarrassment too, but something about Kitt wouldn't leave me be. His face was etched into my brain.
*
Tess Thursday morning.
The rest of the week, I made record attempts to avoid Kitt and ignore the immense embarrassment of Monday afternoon. Surprisingly, I succeeded and the crushing feelings of shame and foolishness were growing smaller. I was also distracted by the commitment of being a School Captain. James and I were swept away most days for meetings, leaving me little time in the school day to hang out with Lottie. She was my personal stress ball and I was seriously missing her. With my school day full and my afternoons strictly reserved for homework, the only time I had for her was our usual phone calls before bed. I learned Lottie was upset that she didn't get more classes with me and I was too.
The first class of the day was Science. I sat in my usual seat, coincidently behind Tom and Brielle who leaned into each other snickering like always. Brielle was making Tom laugh by putting gummy snakes under her nose like a mustache and pulling faces. Personally, I thought it was too early to be eating lollies, however, I couldn't help but smile to myself either. No matter how odd or quirky they were, they really did have the best relationship I'd ever seen. I really wanted to have a fairy-tale love like them. Hell, I'm sure everyone did.
"Shit. Did you do the homework? I totally forgot about it."
I blinked, realizing I was staring again.
Dammit. Why am I like this?
My lab partner Liz, whom I also sat within English, took her seat next to me. Elizabeth, obviously Liz for short, was Principal Langley's daughter. Despite the horror of seeing your Father every day at school, Liz was rather relaxed about it. In a way, she used it as an advantage to get away with things other students wouldn't, like not doing homework. However, I obliged, opened my folder retrieving the work I'd done last night. I handed them to her, and she sighed in relief. Liz slapped her notebook onto the bench and began rummaging around the bottom of her bag, which resembled more of a leather handbag than a backpack if you asked me.
"Need a pen? I asked, holding one of my own out to her,
"Thanks," her frown disappeared, and her face softened.
She took the pen and began copying my work into her book. I wasn't worried about plagiarism; we'd had this system for years. Liz had a boyfriend who was in college and when he came to visit, she went out most nights drinking and partying, even on a school night. So, I'd let her copy my work, knowing she'd change the wording slightly.
The lesson was normal. We graded our homework and discussed an upcoming assignment. I zoned out most of the lesson, probably because I was up late last night. My mind wandered to Kitt for the millionth time. The entire week, I had avoided Kitt successfully. If I saw him in the halls I'd turn around and walk a different way to my class, which was difficult but manageable. Any eye contact with him was strictly forbidden. When I made my way for the bus each afternoon, I moved quickly with my head down and when I got my seat, I was sure to put headphones in, press shuffle, and stare at my phone. I didn't want to risk running into him otherwise, he'd probably call me out for being a creep. I considered telling Lottie, thinking she could tell me I was overreacting, which I probably was. I reasoned that the entire situation was stupid, and my anxieties would go away...eventually.
The bell rang and I jolted in my chair like I'd been hit with static electricity. Liz laughed, noticing my now diminished, dreamlike state. She gratefully handed my pen back and made her way to the door. I stuffed my books away, tucking the folder into my bag. I examined the pen; Liz had chewed the end of it. In any other circumstance, I would have chucked it out, but I had a feeling I'd be lending her more pens as the year went on. This one had clearly been reserved for her.
Congratulations Liz.
I got up and followed the rest of the class out, next stop Society and Culture with James O'Donnell, 'the golden child'. I wasn't particularly in a rush to get there, especially today.
"Hey Tess," a voice called out behind me.
I turned around. To my surprise it was Brielle. Both her and Tom were still sitting at their table, unphased by the bell. I smiled politely, noticing Brielle's black cabby hat and matching jacket, she looked like someone out of a Vogue magazine. I don't know how she made it look so easy. For a split second, I wondered if she knew I'd been busted staring at Kitt or maybe she'd noticed me daydreaming about her perfect relationship with Tom. I began to panic, feeling my mouth go dry.
Why else would she talk to me?
Oh God.
"There's a party at Chris' Dad's place tomorrow night, not a huge thing but you should come," she said sweetly.
My eyes flickered from her to Tom, who's head rested lightly on Brielle's shoulder, a tired expression on his face. He seemed to hardly notice my presence at all but Brielle looked up at me hopefully. I was confused, why would they ask me to a party? I've hardly spoken to them all through Highschool...
"Ah yeah, maybe. Sounds fun." I said and smiled.
"Great and bring a friend if you want. I'll find you later and get your number," Brielle chirped, before planting a light kiss on Tom's forehead.
"Okay, great. Seeya," I smiled softly and made my way for the door.
I spent the rest of the day fanaticizing about the party. I wondered why she'd even invited me at all. Numerous scenarios resembling Steven King's 'Carrie' plagued my mind. They'd corner me, call me out in front of the entire party, pour pig's blood all over me and I'd live the rest of my life labeled as a creep for gawking at her best friend. But perhaps I was being a tad dramatic about that? I had a tendency to overthink certain situations... most situations.
I thought about inviting Lottie to the party, but a lot of people were turned off by her outgoing charisma and I'd hate for someone to put her down. Plus, her idea of a party still included matching pajamas and staying up late watching trashy romcoms. I considered asking Liz, but I had a feeling she would be going anyway since she had photography with Brielle and Tom. Other than that, I didn't have any friends I was close enough too to invite. Aside from my Captaincy Status, I was a bit of a wallflower at school. I had a lot of friends, like Liz, who would say hello when they saw me and sometimes I sat with them at lunch but we never hung out after school. Unlike Lottie, who basically lived at my house.
The most disappointing factor was that my Father would never let me go to a proper high school party. I would have to sneak out, which I'd only ever imagined doing. I would have to lie, convincing him I was off studying or something, but even that seemed impossible. By the last period of the day, I came to a rather intimidating but credible solution to the party dilemma. For the sake of my reputation and social life, I was going to lie to my Father. Lottie would have to help convince him we were studying. When he falls asleep, we would sneak out, just like the movies. After all, what kind of School Captain would I be if I didn't mingle with my peers?
I was excited to get on the bus home so I could plan our sneak out on Friday night. At the end of the day, I found myself hurtling down the front steps to the bus quicker than usual. I'd never been to a proper party before; the last one I went too had pass-the-parcel and pin the tail on the donkey. I'm pretty sure this would be a first for Lottie as well.
"Hey," a voice stopped me in my tracks.
I turned around and felt my insides sink into a deep pit I never knew existed until now. The sight before me made me want to run away, catch the nearest train and get the hell out of this town but at the same time, my legs were frozen in place.
Oh God.
It was Kitt Webster. He leaned against the wall beside the front entrance with his arms crossed over his chest. I blinked, unsure if he was meaning to speak to me.
"You got a lighter?" His tone was short and rude.
His green eyes rested on me, making my cheeks grow hot. I quickly looked between him and his friends, but they were all distracted by their own conversations. I'd hoped Brielle might have spotted me, giving me some sort of comfort, but no.
"W-what?" I stuttered.
God, he is talking to me.
Kitt wore a tight white shirt and his usually black jeans. God, he looked like a movie star up close, olive skin, confident stance, and piercing glare. I could see the muscles in his arms tensing and had to force myself to look away. After all, it was my staring that landed me in this mess.
"Are you deaf? I asked if you had a lighter," he grumbled, pointing to the unlit cigarette in his mouth. I was too busy looking at his arms that I didn't even notice it before. I shook my head in reply.
I stood frozen, my mouth dry, and shook my head. "No, no I don't. Sorry."
My cheeks kept growing hotter in anticipation of his next words. I was dreading the staring incident coming up, but I guess this was the end. All my effort to push it away and forget had failed and I was finally due for the 'Carrie' moment. There was a long pause, Kitts's eyes narrowed, he looked at me carefully than brushed a hand through his fringe. Without a word, he scoffed turning away from me and back to his friends. I stood for a moment shocked than slowly backed away making my way to the bus.
Why didn't he call me out?
I don't look like someone who would have a lighter on me, do I?
I boarded the bus desperately trying not to look back. I sat in my usual seat by the window and waited for Lottie. I could still feel the heat in my cheeks and prayed they weren't going physically red. Despite all the crippling embarrassment, I couldn't resist the urge to look at Kitt again. I peered out, locking eyes with him instantly. To my amazement, Kitt pulled a lighter out of his jean pocket and lit his cigarette. My mouth physically dropped open. I watched him take a deep inhale, his cheeks hollowing. Even from this distance, I could see his chiseled jawline and sculpted face. Kitt cocked his head to the side, a strand of hair falling into his eyes. He exhaled, a thin grey cloud escaped his lips and for the first time ever, he smiled. A real, genuine, playfully smirk. I was blindsided.
If he had a lighter this whole time, why would he bother asking me for one?
*
Tess Thursday afternoon
"No way Tess, I'm not lying to your Dad and sneaking out! That's crazy!" Lottie gasped.
I'd invited her over after school to 'study' but intended to use this moment as an opportunity to convince her to go to the party. I knew it would take some time, so I decided to butter her up first with her favourite after school snacks.
"C'mon Lottie, it'll be our first proper party. I need this. We need this." I begged.
Lottie sat at the end of my bed, croissant in hand, and her homework a chaotic mess of books and loose papers. I stood up from my desk and sat on the floor in front of her. I'd been unsuccessful so far in my attempts to persuade her and looking at the current frown on her face, I knew I wasn't convincing her like this.
I needed to pull out plan B.
"Please Lottie. What if this is the party where you meet your future husband? What if this is the time to meet your Prince Charming and you're about to miss it?" I pleaded.
So cheesy.
But with Lottie, it might just work. If there was anyone on this planet who dreamt of a fairy-tale love more than me, it was Lottie.
Lottie pouted and tugged at one of her braids. I knew I had her there. I leaned in, eager to hear her next words.
"Fine!" She huffed, taking a reluctant bite from her croissant.
I let out a squeal leaping to tackle her off the bed giggling. Lottie had finally said yes to my plans and we were officially going to our first high school party together. The days of fairy bread, musical chairs, and slumber parties were over and this was the start of a new chapter. After all, we were seniors now and soon we will be heading off to college – who knows where that will take us?
All I knew now was that this was going to be so much fun.