Zephyr walked through the doorway as the last attending bridge crewman to arrive at the meeting that Corbin wasn't invited to. He scanned the room with his red glowing eyes and sat down in the big chair.
"Gentlemen, ladies...Fae...I'm Captain Zephyr. I decided to have this meeting to get to know the bridge crew I will be commanding. I need to know each of you personally if this ship is to run like a well lubed machine of fortune. All of you are valuable and it takes a crew of men and women...and fish apparently...that work together as a team to get the job done. None of you are expendable, and I want each of you think of me as not only your Captain, but as your friend." he finished. A hand raised in the back.
"Where is Commander Corbin?" he asked.
"Corbin is a jackass, screw Corbin, we don't need him bringing down our confidence and teamwork." Zephyr said waving the holographic screen online and showing the mission overview. "Our maiden voyage is to the Silken System. This is very important to the Empire, we have been tasked with bringing some extremely important goods from there to Nogrea." he explained. "And if anyone wants to say something, state your name and occupation and why you are with us on this fine ship."
"Tactical Commander Kephi Makenna, FaeAcademy of Warfare. I'm here because I like a challenge." grinned the tall, very intimidating fit blonde with short blonde hair tucked behind her pointed ears.
"Nice to see you again Keph." He sighed.
"So...honorable leader of the SS Anubis...what's the important cargo?" she asked crossing her arms.
"Classified." he replied.
"Really? I am the Tactical Commander, so I should have clearance to know any cargo we may be hauling. Anything potentially dangerous or volatile?" she asked.
"I'm not at liberty to say, Keph. Top clearance only. it could be medicine, important leaders who don't want their presence known, or even weaponry that you don't have the- Keph...are you even listening or are you playing on your tablet?" he scolded.
"Oh I'm just looking up the cargo manifest for the mission, I got it here. Looks like a bunch of spices and luxury food goods." she yawned.
"That's probably what it is supposed to say...officially. You don't log your secret cargo in the books, you make up something mundane." he explained.
"No, you generally just mark it classified and have a clearance code. This was just public record. Actually, it's a lot of contraband that was pre-approved so if anything, this would be suspicious and not at all mundane. I'm pretty sure this is just a delivery for some rich guy who wanted special goods he couldn't get through normal transportation. Nothing important, just party goods." she shrugged.
"Maybe, then again maybe it's something so valuable they didn't want to make it known. It's not our place to pry." he said moving on. "And what about you?" he asked the young lady in medical white.
"Doctor Akeeva North. Ship medic is one of my dual purpose jobs on this ship." she replied formally.
"Every spaceship needs a sexy doctor. And what is your second job on this ship, you lovely little thing?" he asked suavely putting his foot on the desk rung.
"Human Resources, mostly sexual harassment cases between the species." she said looking less than thrilled.
"Well, shit...anyway that's about it for the introductions except for our safety video.
"Sir." nudged Kephi. "I believe it's lunch and the crew is pretty hungry, as much fun as it would be to watch you annoy a member of the senior crew who you will be working with, given your tendency to ignore rules I'd suggest you let a few things slide yourself. Just my opinion." she said scooting past.
"Dismissed." Zephyr agreed. "I have an important meeting regarding the cargo anyway."
"Unbelievable." sighed the Admiral on the viewscreen as Captain Zephyr stood at ease in his room. "It's a 6 day cargo mission and you haven't even been out of dock for 3 full days since last incident without another incident" she barked.
"In my defense..." he said, pausing to think of an excuse, and then failing.
"Two days and 11 hours, Zephyr. First you got a crewman killed. Now you have a formal complaint from the head of HR on top of a dead crewman?" she barked.
"Okay, so that was a mistake. Nobody is dead, we just sort of had a malfunction and had to loop around, man overboard thing, got it straightened out already. And the other thing, it was just a joke, I wasn't actually trying to break into Keph's locker."
"I was referring to flirting with your Medic, followed by allowing an argument and refusing to stop it, but apparently you were also breaking into crew lockers." she sighed.
"In fairness, she did make a really suspicious comment about the mission. I can't have everyone knowing the actual objective. I was forced to check her locker for evidence of security violations."
"Are you really justifying making a pass at a subordinate by suggesting she was a spy?...what are you, twelve?" she asked.
"You put like 80 inexperienced crewmen of 7 different species on one human ship. How are they supposed to all know the rules and details? Its not like we did a big presentation on what things you can't say before we took off."
"Actually we did. It's called a species relations and culture course that was mandatory for all graduates and officers before even setting foot on a starship, you just missed that because you never graduated academy, your father just gave you a passing waver and here we are." she sighed.
"I passed the GED equivalent test with a 98 percent." he boasted.
"There is no GED equivalent test, that's just some political bullshit we made up to justify letting an Osirian passing when he didn't finish academy. Of course you scored high, You have a quantum computer brain and an IQ higher than any living human. We didn't want to show favoritism in the public eye, so we made the test all technical and data based mathematics and ship systems. If we put one single question in there about a subject you chose not to even download, you would have missed it. We rigged the whole damn thing." she admitted. He made a face of absolute shock and offense.
"I am shocked and offended buy this, as well as grateful and generally pleased by it as well. How dare you cheat and show favoritism without informing me of the plan." he said with a conflicted stance and a hesitant arm crossing.
"Just try and do one mission without screwing up too bad. It's a cargo run, you deliver cargo and a hidden message inside. You just land, there is a ten second Silken greeting and you just smile and nod and don't say anything, then you take the cargo to the drop-off and you're done. Children could do this. A single pilot and a competent 16 year old human could do this mission. You don't even have to fly the ship. Just pick up some food crates, pretend to be pleasant and drop it off somewhere else."
"Admiral, with all due respect I think I can handle this mission just fine, you just gave me a bunch of misfits and oversensitive humans. I got this." he assured.
"We don't have a lot of people on this side of the proposed rebellion. Your father doesn't have a lot of spare crews, okay? Don't get anyone killed." she said, shutting off the view screen. He rolled his eyes and returned to his hot-fudge sundae.
"Ridiculous. I can handle a frigging cargo drop." He growled.
Captain Zephyr stood very stiffly next to Commander Corbin and Doctor North. Corbin smiled fakely and muttered to him between his teeth.
"It's a ceremony." he muttered to him.
"No shit, why is there a ceremony? I was told it was just a 10 second greeting and signing a paper. So why are we standing in a banquet hall with a million 4 foot creepy little Silken all dressed like they are electing a new Emperor?" Zephyr asked with his teeth locked as well.
"I don't know. Just roll with it." Corbin muttered.
"Do you speak Silken?" he asked.
"No. Doctor North does, I believe." Corbin muttered.
"Silken don't speak to other species, it's considered extremely rude. Just nod and be friendly, don't say anything unless you have to, and be very polite." She whispered.
"I hate these little things, they freak me out." Zephyr whispered.
"Stop it." muttered Commander Corbin. "They are half your size and non-threatening, and you are an Osirian, they couldn't kill you with a howitzer, let alone a tablet. Just smile and sign." she muttered.
"You know damn good and well Silken emit a pheromone that causes paranoia and irrational discomfort in most species, and they have a formidable military force despite their cute little stature and pleasant shyness. And look around, there is a million of them. They could overtake the ship in 15 minutes." Zephyr muttered still smiling.
"What?" asked a very alarmed Corbin. "Why was I not informed of this?"
"It's little known information on a semi-classified species, I only know because I have access to the Osirian collective database on alien species." he muttered. "Sure you could take down a few of them before they overrun the ship, but with this many just in the ceremony hall, think how many are somewhere in hiding with guns and high-ground advantage." Zephyr muttered.
"This is just the paranoia, I thought Osirians would be immune to that effect?" asked Corbin.
"I assumed that too, and yet, no. Plus that's not paranoia, I have data files with the numbers. Every single Silken on the planet, over ten years old, is military trained. Even this hall is designed for combat. Sure it looks like a fancy dining hall but look at the architecture, everything slants downward, clear view on all floors to the main corridor where guests arrive. One exit, a hundred trillion of them, and they asked us to bring only 3 people to deliver the cargo." He breathed heavily.
"Shit...this is a killbox." Corbin huffed
"Relax, that's the paranoia." whispered Dr North. "They probably heard an Osirian was onboard the ship and they decided to do a formal ceremony instead of the normal greeting, that's all. It's an honor, not a killbox. We had no idea there would be this many and we weren't prepared for that level of pheromone concentration." said Doctor North, getting nervous.
"The perfect plan...for an assassination." said Zephyr with a smile, as the king or lead Silken slowly approached from a ridiculous distance with a pillow and some kind of gift, walking slowly past an obscenely long line of perfectly still and erect Silken soldiers, all identically dressed and staring at them silently in a line that tapered into the distance like a highway of mannequins.
"This is your fault." Corbin muttered.
"Blow me." Zephyr replied.
"Stop it, Even if they did kill you, there's 3 or 4 more you in the ship safely in cryo. You have nothing to complain about. If Corbin and I get mauled, we just die. You set this up because of the complaint didn't you?" she snipped.
"Oh come on, I set up an elaborate murder plan where I also get murdered just because you narked to the Admiral? I'm a spoiled immature jerk not a psychopath. I would maybe switch your drink for something super sour or cut off one of your chair legs so it rocks and annoys you, not get 3 people murdered alive by micro-zombies. That's belligerently overkill and you know it." Zephyr said rushing his sentence before they dignitary arrived. The silken emperor or king or queen or whatever, handed him a single strand of some form of plant, similar to wheat, presented on a golden pillow. He bowed and carefully accepted it. The king gestured with his tiny grey hand and they stood confused, waiting for someone to make a move, hopefully a good one. The Silken leader bowed, and in a disturbingly uniform manner, all 82 fajillion Silken bowed ever-so-slightly at once. Zephyr stood awkwardly as one of the Silken standing beside the monarch stepped forward and presented the cargo papers. He signed quickly, and grinned with a troubled look, as the monarch presented another strand of wheat and scrunched its forehead as if to ask something or wait for an appropriate answer.
"I don't know what to do, Nurse Hottie." he whispered like a terrified ventriloquist.
"Stop calling me that, I don't know what to do either." she replied.
"We are all going to die." whispered Corbin to Zephyr.
"No we are not...you two probably will, but I'm shockingly fast and I think I can get to the ship before they catch me, they have very short legs." he whispered. The monarch lightly shoved the assistant forward more, and a wide-eyed and confused Zephyr bowed slightly lower. The monarch blinked with his or her giant black eyes with soulless depth like the cold blackness of space. It abruptly broke the piece of wheat.
"Oh we're screwed." sighed Doctor North. They all flinched as the stillness broke when the assistant began walking past them to approve the cargo as the monarch bowed and turned away.
"What just happened? Did we win?" Zephyr asked.
"I think it was just a greeting, we should follow the assistant and get the hell out of here." Corbin said containing his alarm.
Zephyr sat in the mess hall, laughing and wiping his brow as the bridge crew listened to the story. Greg chuckled on the holographic chair, like one of the crew.
"And just when we thought we were going to be eaten alive or something, they just brought us to the cargo hold and gave us the spices." Zephyr chuckled.
"They just took the credits and left?" asked Greg, looking slightly concerned.
"Actually they kept trying to take my crates of cream-soda. They must have thought it was part of the trade so I just let them have the 2 crates." he shrugged.
"They changed the deal?" asked Greg, now fully alarmed and not smiling.
"Yea but so what? It's 2 crates of carbonated sugar water." Zephyr shrugged.
"Zephyr... Silken don't change deals, they are very adamant about negotiations or they may make another trade, but they never change an agreed upon price. It's a matter of honor. A deal is final, there are no haggling procedures after a deal is made, and I think I just figured out what you bought with the sodas." he said looking pale and squinting down the hall as the crew looked back to see what Greg spotted.
"How did one of those get on the ship?" Chuckled Zephyr.
"You bought a person?" screamed the Admiral on the viewscreen.
"Amiral...I know this looks bad." Zephyr explained.
"You bought a silken slave? Osirians don't have slaves, nobody in the entire Empire has slaves!" she barked.
"I agree, it's terrible...but there is a silver lining to this."
"You have to return it." The Admiral ordered. Greg reluctantly chimed in.
"Admiral, I must advise against that." sighed Greg. "It's in the Silken culture. All deals and trades are final, and refusing a gift from the emperor, or returning a gift or trade is an act of war."
"Oh lord, how did you screw this up?" she asked slamming her head on the desk.
"Nurse Hottie is our Alien relations expert, she assured me this was just a nod and signature, everything is her fault, it's in the report." Zephyr defended.
"I'm afraid to even ask...what was the silver lining?" the admiral asked still lying on the desk.
"I think I got a really good price." Zephyr said hesitantly.
"Everyone stop freaking out!" Greg yelled at the screen. "We delivered the gifts and the secure information. All we do now is wait. It was a simple mission and though dumbass here did some stupid shit...it worked. Technically it worked. We got past the blockaid without alerting the Osirian fleet, the message is sent. It looks like a cargo trade as reported. Everything looks fine on the books."
"And what if this doesn't work?" the admiral asked. "If we can't get the Silken on our side, we don't have a chance of overthrowing a single Shiva-class warship, let alone an empire. I have to admit, Greg. I believe in your cause, but I'm starting to doubt your ability."
"So what if I told you we had a fully armed Shiva of our own?" he smirked.
"You better not be joking...how the hell did you get an entire planet-sized Shiva without the entire Osirian Military knowing it?"
"I'm really THAT good." Greg bragged. "It's a bit clunky, but it's fully armed."
"Fucking hell, dad. You're locked up and you managed to smuggle a planet? You can pull that off but your youngest son asked for a ship and I get the Sobdu?"
"You failed 2 gradeschool level missions and got 2 percent of your crew killed just driving to a system." Greg sighed. "You're the most incompetent Osirian ever."
"Everyone calm down. Is the mission still operational?" the Admiral asked.
"Absolutely." Greg smirked.