I overslept. One of the most dreading thing that can ever happen when you're supposed to study and decided to take a 5-minutes nap first.
It's already 6:40 pm. I was supposed to wake up at 4:00 pm. Hindi ko man lang narinig yong alarm. Ramdam ko din talagang masakit yong likod ko, it's always like that. When I am mentally tired, my body aches too. Organ dialect.
"Good, you're awake." Ansel said nang makalabas ako ng kwarto. I am holding my book stand. Sa coffee shop kami ulit mag-aaral para iwas temptation. Kapag kasi dito sa condo parang laging nanghi-hila yong kama. Tukso.
"Why didn't you wake me up?"
"Pagod na pagod ka, e. You deserve the rest."
"It's exam week."
"Yaan mo na. Mas di ka makaka focus kung pagod ka. Tara na."
I just shrugged before I went to the bathroom. I washed myself first at nag-palit lang ng matinong damit bago kami bumaba at pumunta sa Tim Horton's.
"Oh. Cyclone will be joining us."
I just nodded and focused myself on driving. Nang maka-rating kami wala pa si Cyclone. Ansel ordered doughnut and coffee for us, nag-simula nadin akong aralin ang Patho. I am on my fifth page when Cy arrived-with Cane. Ugh.
"Uy, hi Hurri! Kasama ka pala." Ansel giggled.
My eyes remained on Robbins. Trying my best to focus but his whole presence here didn't help at all. He's like a walking distraction kahit wala naman siyang gianagawa pa.
"Yeah. Pwede naman dba?" I heard him asked. Ansel laughed and welcomed him willingly. Sa tapat ko pa talaga siya umupo. Tsk.
"What's that?"
"Codal."
"Oh, wow."
Gusto ko silang sawayin kasi hindi ako maka-focus pero hindi ko din sure kung makaka concentrate padin ako kahit tumahimik sila. What is happening to me?
"Paabot ng doughnut."
"Cy, di'ka pa nakaka-aral pagkain agad!"
"Di'ko na kelangan mag-aral."
"E bakit ka andito?"
"May nangulit-aray Hurri! Lakas manipa."
I inhaled a lungful of air and slowly exhaled. Geez! Ang ingay. I glanced up to Hurricane since tahimik siya. His eyes were on his codal na. Binalik ko nalang din yong tingin ko sa transes pero nagta-talo na yong dalawa.
"Can you guys move to other table? You're both distracting," I stonily said. Saglit silang napa-tigil bago tumayo at nag tig-isang table.
"Yan, ginalit mo na si Madam." I heard Ansel blaming Cy. Tsk.
"Can I stay here? Tahimik lang ako, promise."
My eyes turned to Hurricane. I just simply nodded as I began reading again. He really remained quiet. Never nangulit or tumingin. Hindi ko na din naririnig na nag-tatalo sila Cy. Maybe nag-aaral nadin. That's how our one hour goes.
"In tumor angiogenesis gaano nga dapat kalapit ang blood vessel sa cell?" Ansel asked.
"1-2mm."
"In carcinogenesis the concept of initiation and promotion are both needed dba, neither can cause cancer itself."
I nodded, "and promotors aren't carcinogenic by themselves, they must take effect after initiation.. not before." I said without taking my eyes off sa book.
"Tama tama. Thank you! Ay last.. Burkitt lymphoma mode of activation is translocation, right?"
I nodded.
Ramdam kong nakatingin si Cane kaya inangat ko ang mata ko sa kanya. He's looking at me before he broke into a smile, "Nakaka-alien pinag-aaralan niyo."
I just shrugged. Aminado din naman akong kakaiba ang mga salita sa med pero as far as I know ganon din naman sa law dba? Hindi ko talaga kaya mag-aral ng batas.
"Hindi ka pa gutom?"
I stopped reading as I eyed him, "We don't usually eat dinner every exam week." Hindi naman sa hindi talaga kumakain, but we prefer black chocolates, nuts and coffee to wake us up rather than real foods.
Kumunot ang noo niya, "So hindi kayo kakain?"
I shrugged, "Dinner's not the most important meal of the day, it's okay not to have one."
"So kape lang? Di ka gutom?"
"We can't get full tummy, Cane." I answered. Parang hindi niya ako maintindihan. I heaved a sigh, "Nakaka-antok kapag busog."
Not all med students skip dinner, pero kami nila Ansel we prefer na hindi talaga mabusog tuwing mag-aaral or else we have to battle our own eyes drooping.
"Onga, why do we get sleepy when we're full?" he asked curiously.
"It is because our body's producing more serotonin after eating. Serotonin plays a role in regulating our mood and sleep cycles."I explained. He smiled after my 'little lecture', "Sarap mo kasama, dami kong natututunan."
I rolled my eyes as he chuckles. Hindi na ulit siya nangulit at gumaya nalang samin na nag-kape lang the whole night. Everytime may itatanong si Ansel at sasagutin ko, makikita ko si Cane na napapangiti sa codal niya.
Maybe it's the coffee.. but I found myself smiling too.
**
It suddenly became a routine. Everytime we study sa kung saang coffee shop kasama na si Cane. His reason? Mag-aaral din naman siya sa labas so mas better na sumama siya samin para di daw siya mag-isa.
But not tonight. I am all alone tonight at the coffee shop nearby our condo. Umuwi si Ansel sa bahay nila. Cyclone's on a date with Ada and I think he'll be sleeping at her place. Cane.. well, I really don't know. He didn't come.
I prefer silence but actually I am not used to it since my friends were very loud.. and though silence is calming it can also leads to a different level of ..loneliness.
Sometimes I am really wondering.. what if I have someone? What if my life doesn't just evolve in med and friends and family?
Ano ba tong naiisip ko?
Dating can be tiring and demanding.. kawawa lang magiging boyfriend ko kasi tira tira lang yong time sa kanya.
Yet I can't help but wonder.. what if?
I heaved a sigh as I turned to another page. My coffee's already empty. I ordered for another bago muling bumalik sa table ko. It's already 11:38 pm. Tinapos ko lang ang isang chapter pa before I decided na bumalik na sa condo since sobrang antok na din ako. Hindi na ata gumagana sakin ang kape.
I halted nang makitang sobrang lakas ng ulan sa labas. Damn. Wala akong payong. I really need to go, now. Hindi ko naman pedeng takbuhin.. I can't risk my health. May exam pa ako bukas!
I scrolled through my phone, calling Cyclone but he's not picking up. I checked if Ansel's online pero hindi. She's probably asleep now.
I guess I'll stay here until the rain stops.
Pero anong oras pa?
I just sat at the table beside the glass wall and took a photo of the heavy rain. I sent it to my IG story. Captioning, stuck.
My phone suddenly pinged. I bit my lower lip as my heart started racing. Why is he still awake?
hurricanetntc: san ka?
I messaged him the coffee shop I am in. Sineen lang niya ako at hindi na nag-reply. Tss!
Umubob nalang ako sa lamesa, pikit na pikit na talaga ako.
Hindi ko alam gano katagal ako naka-hipg, naalimpungatan nalang ako nang may tumapik sa pisngi ko. I thought I am still dreaming nang makita ang mukha ni Hurricane. He's smiling softly, naka squat siya sa gilid ko to level on my face.
"Hey, wake-up."
Shit. I am not dreaming! Agad akong napa-ayos ng upo at napa-tingin sa labas. Malakas padin ang buhos ng ulan.
"W-what.. what are you doing here?"
He scratched his nape, "You're stuck, right? I assumed na kailangan mo ng umuwi at matulog?"
This doesn't make sense. "And so?"
He cleared his throat, "May payong ako."
He.. he is so impossible. Kaya lang siya pumunta dito dahil sa story ko sa IG? Dahil feeling niya kailangan ko na umuwi at matulog?-which is correct. But still..
"Why?"
He scratched his head, "Tara na. Hatid na kita."
Tumayo na siya at kinuha ang bag at book stand ko na agad ko namang binawi pero agad niyang inilayo. Kulit! "Eto nalang, mabigat bag mo." binigay niya sa akin yong book stand.
"How did you get here?"
"Grab." He shrugged. Damn. Namasahe pa talaga siya?
"How much is your fare?"
"Secret."
Tsk! Kinuha ko sa bag ko na nakasabit sa balikat niya ang wallet ko para abutan siya ng 500 pero napa-tigil ako sa sobrang seryoso ng hitsura niya. Damn! "Ayoko ng pera."
"Then what?"
"Hindi ako nahingi ng kapalit."
Okay. I heaved a sigh bago binalik yong wallet ko sa bag. Maybe I offended him na pero kasi ang weird lang dba? Why would he suddenly go here to pick me up? We're kinda.. friends.. but still.
Inilabas niya ang folding umbrella niya. It's color black.
Nang makalabas kami sobrang baha na. "Do you want a piggy ride?"
I immediately looked at him, "Are you crazy?"
He chuckles bago itinuro ang baha. Yes, I can see pero hindi ako sasakay sa likod niya no! Besides, hanggang ankle pa lang naman.
We started walking pabalik sa condo nang mapansin ko na nasa akin lang yong payong. Basa na yong left shoulder niya since maliit lang yong payong. Humawak ako sa umbrella at inayos yon, "Nababasa ka."
"Yaan mo na. Malakas resistensya ko." Then he smirked pero umiling lang ako.
"Still, don't risk it."
Pero ang kulit lang niya buti nalang hindi ganoon kalayo ang condo namin. Nang makarating inaya ko pa siya if gusto niya mag-coffee or something sa taas pero when he found out na I am alone tumanggi lang siya.
"Hey.." I called nang palabas na siya ng building. He looked back.
"Thank you.."
He looked at me for a couple of second-it was short but it made me so conscious-before he broke into a small smile.
**
"Ikakasal na si Amy." Ansel suddenly announced.
Amy's our classmate in high-school. Hindi lang siya ang unang ikakasal sa batch namin. Most of our batchmates or friends with the same age ay either may pamilya na or ikakasal palang or na-promote sa job o kaya naman may sarili ng business.
Parang lahat nag-sisimula na ng kanya kanyang buhay tapos kami eto libro padin ang hawak naka-asa padin sa pera ng magulang.
Sobrang dami naming nami miss pero eto ang pinasok namin e.. dito talaga kami masaya.. except sa mga napilitan lang mag-med.
"Who's the groom?" Cy asked as he took a bite on his burger. It's our break time in Pharma.
"Di'ko kilala e. Pero cute."
They both looked at the picture. I am not that curious kaya hindi na'ko nakitingin at nanood nalang sa mga kaklase ko na nag-lalaro sa unahan.
"Nga pala, sasama ba ulit satin si Hurri mamaya?"
My attention was suddenly back to my friends.. but of course hindi ko pinahalata. I am really starting to hate myself. Why am I always curious about him?
"Nah. May lagnat."
What?! Ha! Malakas resistensya, huh? Tsk.
"Omg."
"Pumasok pa nga din ngayon. Kulit."
Bakit pa siya pumasok?
The whole day tuloy hindi ko na maalis sa utak ko si Cane.. I am guilty of course! I am sure nilagnat siya dahil sakin.
I am.. I am worried din of course, I don't want other people sick.
After our class dumiretso lang kami sa condo. Pinauna ko na si Ansel sa coffee shop. I told her na may aayusin pa ako.
I fished my phone out and messaged Cane. Shit. I am really doing this.
chandrellarquiluz: u're sick daw?
Bigla siyang naging online and started typing.
hurricanetntc: luuuh, tsismosa.
I rolled my eyes at his reply. Napaka talaga! Bigla tuloy nag-bago ang isip ko. He can take care of himself naman.. but still..
hurricanetntc: doc, pengeng gamot.
I heaved a sigh as I made my decision.
Wala pang 20 minutes nandito na'ko sa harap ng condo ni Cy. Gusto kong bumalik nalang at dumiretso sa coffee shop at the same time nagi guilt din ako na nagka sakit siya.
Damn. Why is this so freaking big deal to me?
I closed my fist as I blew a breath. Pinindot ko ang doorbell. It took him a second bago mabuksan yon.
He looked so pale and shock to see me. His hair was messy and nakabalot ang kumot sa katawan niya. He sniffed, his nose was red.
This is all because he came to rescue me yesterday.
"Chandy.."
"Shut up."
Pumasok nalang ako agad. I brought a chicken noodle soup and medicines. I immediately prepared it at nag-painit din ng water. I made him tea with honey para mapa-bilis ang galing niya.
I wrote down the foods na bawal sa kanya and time to drink his meds na dinala ko.
"Why.. are you here?"
I shrugged, "You're sick because of me."
"Uy, it's not your fault."
"Just shut up and follow this." Dinikit ko sa kanya ang sticky note.
He reads it as he sniffed.
"Isinga mo nga yan."
Tumingin siya sakin. Ayan na naman yang tingin na'yan.
"Salamat."
I just shrugged. Umupo siya sa may sala dala na niya yong soup na ginawa ko habang dumiretso naman ako sa shower area at inayos ang temperature. Nang balikan ko siya tinigil na niya ang pag-kain. His eyes were close.
"Cane, you should finish that."
"Busog na'ko."
I heaved a sigh, "Then you should take a hot shower. Bilisan mo lang."
"Paliguan mo'ko."
My eyes remained on him, bare of any emotion.
He opened his eyes as he smirked, "Uy na-excite. Conservative ako."
Pakihanap sa hitsura ko saang banda ako na-excite?
Tinitigan ko lang siya. He blows a breath bago umiling, "Nakakatamad."
"It'll help you feel better. Bilis."
"Opo, doc."
He stood up as he took a quick shower. Pagkalabas niya, naka-hoodie na sya. He looks so fresh yet tired.
"Yodabest, doc." He said before he laid on the sofa again. Naka-pikit na siya. I stood up. Kailangan ko pa mag-aral.
"I'll go na."
Bigla siyang nag-mulat ng mata. "Agad?"
What does he mean 'agad'? As-if I have more reasons to stay. He'll feel better na after this, I am sure.
"Ubusin mo yang soup at tea."
"Okay. Hatid na kita."
I stopped him. Nag-iisip ba siya? May sakit siya tapos ihahatid pa niya ako!
"I'm not a kid anymore, okay? I can take care of myself."
"Kahit na-"
He wasn't able to finish his sentence nang may mag doorbell. Sabay kaming nagka-tinginan. Impossible na si Cy yon since he has his own key.
I shrugged.
Sumunod ako sa kanya sa pag-bukas ng pinto since paalis nadin naman ako.
When he opened the door agad sumalubong samin si Barb, holding a paper bag. I bet it's a soup with medicine too. She looked so shock to see me.
Damn. Hindi na pala dapat ako pumunta.