Now that you'd said it aloud there was no turning denying how you felt. How you'd felt for months. "I'm in love with him, Hawks," you repeated.
The hero nodded in understanding. "You broke up with him to keep him safe."
"What other choice did I have?" You grabbed at your head and sat on the roof. "The League already went after my brother and Yui. Even now, after all these months, there's still a chance that they'll go after Uraraka and Bakugo and everyone else in my class."
"No matter how much they trust you there will be the possibility of danger for the people in your life," Hawks argued knowledgeably. "That's part of being a hero."
You sat in silence. Thinking. About Asher and Yui and what they'd be like today. Probably not much different than they were before they died. Nine months doesn't change a person that much. Or does it? After all, you'd managed to go undercover in that time.
An ounce of tension left your body as you sighed. "I feel like I'm going insane, Hawks." You rolled onto your back slowly and pressed your pals into your eyes. "I'm struggling to justify staying with the League. But I can't back out now without looking suspicious."
"You need to talk to someone, Y/N," Hawks insisted. "Asher would want you to get help."
"I know." Sorrow filled your words. Removing your hands from your eyes you looked up into the afternoon sky. Birds flew by overhead. Below, you could hear the everyday hustle and bustle of the city. You nodded. "Can you take me back to U.A. please?"
Hawks set you on your feet in front of the dorm. "You know how to get a hold of me, little bird," he told you with a grin and pat on the head.
"I do," you nodded and returned his smile with a faint one of your own. "I know I'm a few years younger than you but you and I are the only ones who have been with the League. Remember, phones work two ways."
"You're a good person, Y/N," Hawks told you. "You're caring and considerate in ways I hope more people get to see. But you need to remember to take care of yourself."
"I - thank you?" You frowned, not entirely sure what else to say.
"I said it earlier too, there are plenty of people that care about you, Y/N."
Aizawa
He found her wandering the streets of Ground Beta well after midnight. "Do you have any idea what time it is?" He ground out when he finally pulled her to a stop.
"I do," Y/N nodded. "I, um, I'm sorry for dragging you out of bed. I needed think and walking around Ground Beta is relaxing for me. Plus, it keeps me off of the city streets."
"You're having trouble sleeping again?"
Aizawa waited as she pondered how to answer. "There's no point in hiding it," she finally nodded. "I've been doing a lot of thinking since I had Hawks bring me back to the dorms."
"I did hear from Todoroki that you haven't left your room since coming back," Aizawa nodded thoughtfully. "What's been on your mind?"
Y/N started walking again and, with no other choice, Aizawa followed a few paces behind her. "I know I basically begged and bullied my way into being allowed to go undercover," she started, "but I can't keep doing this."
"You're doing a great job," Aizawa defended. "The intel you've been able to get back to the pros is invaluable."
"I am drowning, Aizawa," she proclaimed. "I'm struggling to keep my head above the water that is my sanity. I don't want to ruin the case but I want out. I need out."
"How long have you felt like this?" Aizawa wondered.
"Can we just leave it at I should have come to you about it sooner?"
"Y/N. How long?"
"A little over a month ago I came back from the my work study complaining of a head ache." Y/N sat on a bench with her elbows on her knees.
"Uraraka took your dinner to your room that night." Aizawa nodded, recalling that night. "Is that when you started feeling like this?"
Y/N turned to him quickly. "Please don't be mad at me. You said it yourself that we've gotten a lot of intel from the work I've done. I couldn't just ask to be pulled out, not when they still haven't let it slip that they were behind my family's deaths."
"I'm not mad. I just don't understand why you're suddenly being up front with me."
"I think you'd agree that it's past time that I put myself first for once. I'm glad your aren't mad at me."
"I can't be mad at you for this." Aizawa pulled the girl into a one armed hug. "From the first day of school, when you started treating your classmates who overworked themselves, I knew there was something different about you. Something incredibly selfless. You've proven it time and time again since last year. In all honesty, you stopped surprising me a long time ago. At the hospital after summer last year actually. Recovery Girl had just shown up and you had fallen asleep in Midoriya's room. I started seeing you differently then."
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, you need to get some sleep."
Endeavor
He stared at her over the conference table, arms folded over his chest. Of course, this little girl, would want to back out at such a crucial time in the investigation. Endeavor sighed angrily again.
"Are you going to say anything or just blow smoke?" Y/N grinned at her choice of words.
"We tried to warn you that you weren't cut out for this."
"I appreciate your sympathy." Y/N turned her attention to her teachers. "I told you he wouldn't be understanding."
Endeavor rubbed absently at his temple as they went back and forth before him. Shoto had voiced his concern for Y/N over the past couple of weeks. For that reason alone, Endeavor wasn't overly surprised when she'd requested to meet up with him a few days ago. Even Midoriya and Bakugo had been acting strange lately.
"I never said I didn't understand," Endeavor interrupted. "I get it."
"So, what are we going to do?" Y/N wondered. "I can't just stop showing up to the League's hideout. Shigaraki will get suspicious. Dabi too. And to be completely honest, I'm not sure who I'm more afraid of."
"You're right," Endeavor nodded, "you can't stop showing. I'm sorry."
Tears welled in her eyes. "I can't say that I'm surprised. I just -"
Endeavor stood, halting Y/N's words. "I'll call everyone together. We need to get you out. Soon."
"Thank you." The girl breathed a sigh of relief.
"Thank your friends, not me." Endeavor was out the door in a few strides. It came as no surprise to him when Y/N came running down the hall after him.
"Endeavor! Sir? What did you mean by that?"
"My son, Midoriya and Bakugo have all expressed their concern for you over the past couple of weeks. First, it was Midoriya and Shoto arguing behind closed doors about telling me in the first place. A few days later, they were in my office. That was after I had to pull Bakugo off a guy a few weeks before because he was going to bash the guy's brains in."
Y/N's eyes went wide with shock. They darted around the hall as she floundered for the right words. "I haven't been hiding things as well as I thought," she finally realized. "You didn't tell them anything, did you?"
"What did you just ask me?" Anger flared inside Endeavor's gut.
"I am freaking out about anything and everything at this point, Endeavor. I mean, I made popcorn the other day and I about had a panic attack when the kernels started popping. Before that, the last summer rain we had, there was lightning and thunder. I love rain. Ask Uraraka, it wasn't uncommon to find me laying out on the sidewalk when we were little, any time it rained. But I was shaking in my dorm room. So, forgive me for questioning if you've talked or not."
"You know none of us would say anything to anyone, Y/N," Endeavor told her. "Look, why don't you go back to your dorm room and lay low for a couple of days? If the League tries to get a hold of you tell them you're sick or something. That'll give us time to get everyone together and hopefully formulate a plan."