She had been desperate.
Desperate to fix whatever it was that she had done wrong, desperate to rebuild the trust she had so devastatingly lost, desperate to have her best friend back.
Perhaps that was the reason why she had accepted it when Mxyzptlic showed up, unannounced, at her doorstep, offering her a second chance.
Second chances. Regardless of the fact that she hadn't always been generous once it came to them, she knew that sometimes, or rather, most times, people deserved it. They deserved the chance to make things right, and if such a rewarding opportunity was chosen to be wasted, at least she could live with the awareness that there was nothing left to be done. Were the right decisions made, however, great accomplishments could follow suit. She had witnessed a similar case once, and she never ceased to recall the pride and joy that had filled her at the time.
That was why she had been so willing to change the timeline, if remaking her choices meant she could save her best friend from the dark path she had chosen to get herself into.
It hadn't been easy. Seeing her attempts fail one by one, each resulting in a new catastrophe of their own, had nearly broken her. It almost seemed as though Lena wasn't meant to be saved. Conversely, such an experience had also shown her that people were responsible for their own actions, and should be held accountable for them. She was done blaming herself for things that were out of her control; a certain someone had accomplished to remind her of that.
Aside from coming to such a realization, there had been another, much brighter side of going through all of that. The opportunity to see him again. Him , the one responsible for her opening up her heart; him, the one capable of pulling her out of her comfort zone; him, the reason to most of her late-night wondering; him the one whom she had missed the most.
She had almost jumped with joy when she saw him standing next to her on that little screen. She needed to find a way to meet him. Not only to get his perspective and advice, but also to get to hear his voice again, after so long. She was absolutely sure seeing him face-to-face would help her lighten the mood, and soothe the uneasiness caused by the recent events.
She hadn't been wrong. Not only had she found him exactly the way she remembered, but his advice had turned out to be of extreme wisdom, and even took some weight off her shoulders. His voice showed care and affection, and she was taken aback by the sincerity of his tone. She guessed some people just chose to be granted permission to grow and flourish, instead of being corrupted by the misadventures they'd gone through.
There was also another fact she was suddenly aware of: she was still far from unaffected by his extraordinary looks. Her eyes seemed to be glued to his figure, her staring much more perduring than she'd like to admit. It would have been fine if she had gone talk to him and they never saw each other again, yet life appeared to be attempting to make her constant wish to be swallowed by the floor even more pronounced, and she was once more found front-to-front with him, this time in J'onn's tower.
He was just standing there, being his formal, professional self, concentrating on hearing her, surrounded by all the people that mattered the most to her, and it felt natural, it felt good. All she could think about, as she saw not only him but also her best friend Winn (whom she had deeply yearned to see again) next to her sister, Kelly, J'onn and Nia, was how great it would be if it were all true.
The most terrifying thing? Though he was certainly evolved as a person and as a hero — having sacrificed his happiness multiple times, being the founder of an entire organization that had successfully helped so many, and simply being utterly selfless when it came to others — he had kept his kind-hearted temper, which gave her the strange notion of him not having changed at all ever since he'd been hers.
Something she had always admired in him was his naturally good-humored demeanor. He had the awe-striking ability of lifting her mood in mere seconds, and it had always put her on lighter spirits. She knew his good heart had always been there, only yearning to be discovered.
And so, being once more confronted by his face, his eyes, his smile, the pleasant sound of his voice, and his beautiful words of insight — which, granted, were still reverberating inside her brain — she was able to come to the conclusion that she was still utterly hopeless when it came to him.
Over and above her lingering feelings and recent realizations, Kara caught herself wondering the status of their relationship in the odd reality she was found in. Were they barely acquaintances like when he'd come back from the future? Had they managed to restore their friendship? Were they something more?
The persistent questions were driving her crazy.
He had seemed so protective when she introduced Mxy...
Was it mere pride? Was he just bothered by his provoking presence? Perhaps it was pure wishful thinking, but she thought she saw more than that.
Mon-El wasn't the same jealous, egotistical man he had once been. Once presented with the logical reasoning and explanations, he'd forgiven the mystical being, — albeit hesitantly — and compromised to work alongside him, for the world's sake (and just perhaps hers as well).
She couldn't help from allowing her heart to skip a beat at the thought.
Regardless of how much she wanted it, it wasn't her reality, her life, and she couldn't let herself get lost in such unstable expectations. It was way too risky.
All of her thoughts were interrupted once the subject responsible for such a distraction pulled her to the side, his forehead creased with worry lines.
"Hey," he called, reaching for her hands. "Are you okay?" His voice was calming, resembling the one he'd previously used to provide her advice, with a hint of sweetness added.
"I'm fine..." she replied, absentmindedly. She had been so used to assuring that everyone around her was happy and safe that she often forgot to acknowledge craziness she was constantly going through. The girl had witnessed her entire world die, felt the excruciating loss of her mother (twice) and father, watched the one man she'd ever loved leave her one time after another, faced near death experiences, sacrificed herself for a greater good more times than one would remember, and still got up every day, put on a cape, and continued doing whatever the world needed her to do. Heedless of the evident traumas she'd been forced to cope with, she was always putting everything and everyone before her own self. Somehow, there were still people who dared to call her selfish, lying, two-faced, amongst others.
Nevertheless, Mon-El was able to see right through her, his gaze was piercing when he, knowingly, ducked his chin to get her to look at him. His eyebrows were raised, as if he were silently asking her to save him the trouble of pressing her further, for she wouldn't accomplish to fool him, and he wasn't about to let it go. She settled on telling him part of the truth.
"It's just..." Kara bit her lip, pondering. "This whole thing with Lena has been weighing on me for a long time now. Plus, with Mxy being here... it just makes everything even crazier."
"I'm sorry you have to go through this, you deserve none of it." He brought his hands to her upper arms, caressing them softly. His lips formed a half-smile, while his eyes were unable to focus on her. "I wish I could just make all your problems go away, so that you wouldn't have to suffer for... so many things that aren't... that aren't even your fault." He shut his eyes close, appearing to be genuinely hurt by seeing her ache. Upon uttering those words, he seemed to have found the strength to divert his eyes from the ground, staring deeply into hers. "But unfortunately, I can't. All I can do right now is tell you that I'll be by your side, no matter how this goes, and whenever you feel like you need some extra strength, you can just borrow from mine. I promise you; I won't mind."
Kara couldn't resist from chuckling at that. His sheepish smile had already made her a little less anxious by itself. Adorable.
"Thank you, Mon-El," she voiced, a small smile stretching her lips. Mon-El took one last glance at her, and proceeded to caress her cheek, cradling her face in his hands. Her brain was silently warning her of danger, while her mind was a bewildered mess.
Every stentorian voice setting chaos inside her head was silenced by the feeling of his lips closing on hers, trapping her upper one between his. She knew she should've stopped it, but she simply couldn't. It felt too... surreal.
He had always been an amazing kisser.
It felt so good that she was found frozen for a few seconds.
When his lips unglued from hers, she needed a second to recompose. Once the reality of what had just happened dawned to her at last, it was too late for her to try disguising her stunned state. Her face was the clear balance and representation of shock and disorientation.
Mon-El, who was definitely not known to be blind, noticed the change. His previously relaxed countenance showed furrowed brows once more, and he stepped away — not more than a few inches, albeit — to try to read her more efficiently.
"What's wrong?" he asked, bringing the hand formerly caressing her arm to his hip. Kara had missed the contact, the closeness, the feeling of someone superhuman being so affectionate toward her. Her disappointment upon the loss of his warmth was not surprising.
She bit her lip, deep in thought. It would be nice to have someone open to listen to her struggles, the things taking most of her headspace at the moment. Knowing him, she knew he'd be an impeccable candidate. But should she spring all of that on him even if she knew that it was only temporary? That in no time, she'd be back to her own life, he'd be a thousand years into the future, and no one would remember any of that had even happened?
You should know that you deserve the same compassion that you show others.
She knew if it had been someone she cared about, she'd want them to let it out, to not bottle things up.
"Basically, nothing is as it seems."
If people's facial expressions were represented by punctuation characters, his would've been a question mark.
Kara chuckled.
"Mxyzptlic showed up at my doorstep offering to help me with my situation in an attempt to prove his redemption. He said if I wanted a second chance, he could take me to exact moments in time where I could have told Lena the truth and show me the... outcome of the alteration. None of the alternative timelines ended up well. The only one in which Lena wasn't mad at me resulted in everyone I love dying. So, I asked him to take me to a world where we were never friends... he brought me here. Only, this time Lena went full evil, and manipulated the fifth dimension. That's why we can't go back," she explained, in one breath.
Mon-El was speechless, trying to wrap his mind around everything she had just spilled.
"Wow," he exhaled.
"Yeah," she agreed. She took a step closer to him, reestablishing their closure. "In my world, you and I were together, a couple of years ago... I had never loved anyone like I loved you." Despite the fact that her heartbreak took place years before, it was still painful to remember. Her body seemed to be warning her to try to stand her ground, keep the tears at bay. "After the lead poisoning, you had to leave, and ended up in the future. You returned the year later, but married, and soon had to leave again. You never came back," she finished.
That certainly clarified why she'd been so dumbstruck after he kissed her. The realization suddenly hit him.
"Oh god, Kara, I'm so sorry." He grabbed both of her hands, squeezing them tenderly. "I had no idea. I mean, in this... reality, everything you said happened almost exactly the same, except I stayed here when the Legion left for the future. We're... we're together here... that's-that's why I..."
"It's okay," she exhaled, slightly shaking her head. "You don't have to apologize." Her warm smile was contagious, and he caught himself wondering what her current feelings toward him were. "I really missed you, you know?" She flashed him a grin, returning the subtle squeeze he'd given her hands beforehand.
"I know," he replied, closing his eyes briefly, recalling the memories of the seven excruciating years he had spent with no hopes of seeing her again. Kara bit her lip, and took a good look at him. She reached forward to cup his cheeks, stroking them slightly. His hands traveled to her waist, instinctively. His gaze was still set down, his eyebrows creased with pain.
"You know you look beautiful, with the weight of all these worlds on your shoulders?" she questioned, her voice low, with obvious playfulness. That elicited a laugh out of him, his dimples making their way into his expression once more. He looked up to her, at last, pulling her body even closer to his.
"You don't have to make me feel better." He winked, his smile growing even wider. Their chuckles resonated around them, the vibrations traveling between their chests.
Once the laughter died down, Mon-El moved to embrace her more tightly, burying his face in her shoulder. Kara took a deep breath, closing her eyes shut and cherishing the rare — secretly dreamed about and very much needed — moment.
"I wish this could be true," she confessed. Mon-El broke out of the hug, searching for her eyes.
"You know, Kara..." He paused, seemingly organizing his thoughts. "I can't really imagine a world in which I'm not — as... romcom on steroids-ly cheesy that may sound — just utterly and madly in love with you." Kara eyed him strangely, attempting to figure him out. "So... I don't know, maybe when you go back, you could uh... contact the other... me?" That face... that smile... "I mean I don't even know if you'd want to, if this other me is worthy of Miss Supergirl over here."
"Oh, he surely is..." she replied, half smiling. "He just... I think he's happy. He has a whole life in the future... I don't want to pull him — you — out of it for my own selfishness."
"Kara if things happened the way you told me, which is pretty similar to my own life here, then I can say for a fact that though the seven years I spent in the future were able to help me grow as a hero and as a person, they were not remotely close to be as filled with joy as the ones I spent right here were. Plus, there's no harm in giving him a call." He frowned, confused. "Giving me a call?" he pondered. Kara laughed at his puzzlement, shrugging lightheartedly. Disregarding his train of thought, he continued, "If it doesn't work out, you can let it go once and for all."
"I don't know..." Kara groaned, shutting her eyelids.
"C'mon." Mon-El nudged her with his shoulder. Kara stared at him for long seconds, her lips furrowed, deep in thought.
"Okay," she said, breathily. Mon-El's eyebrows were raised high in his forehead with surprise.
"Okay?" he repeated, to ensure she had been serious. Kara nodded in response, her facial features relaxing only slightly. Mon-El caressed her hands delicately, the warmth delivered by the action showing her just how big the love and fondness he felt for her were. She allowed her smile to grow on her face again. "Promise me you'll give him — me? whomever, whatever — a call once you get back."
"I promise." He smiled, and leaned in to give her a chaste kiss.
.
She was pacing. Not only was her heart rate close to as fast as a speeding bullet, but she also felt like sweating. Actually, humanly sweating.
Why was she even that nervous? He'd told her there would be no damage in reaching out, she shouldn't feel so conscious about it.
The truth was, she feared not knowing what his reaction would be, she feared not knowing anything about his current whereabouts, she feared not knowing if she would get a response, she feared the unknown.
Nevertheless, there were two factors she couldn't ignore. One, she had made a promise, a promise to someone who would trust her blindly, a promise that, if broken, would certainly deprive her from being able to live with herself. And two, she knew that, deep down, she wanted desperately to try it out, to give their relationship one last chance. Perhaps that was the most persistently scary thought to cross her mind, but she was working her way through it, to quit disregarding it — as it was a way for her subconsciousness to express her wishes — and start acknowledging it.
"What are you gonna do now?" Mxy had asked her after she'd gotten back to her apartment, safe and sound, not missing the craziness of multiple realities by the slightest.
"I have to contact Mon-El."
"Why... would you do that?" he'd questioned, comically frowning.
"Because he asked me to."
He sighed, shrugging.
"Well, good luck then."
So that was the reason why she found herself fumbling with his ring, the one he had thoughtfully given her as a reminder of how he would be there whenever she needed it.
She just had to reach out.
How did that thing even work?
She tried pressing the little star close to the L in the center. Observing it more closely, though, as she had denied herself for so long, she noticed it might not be a star, as she initially thought. It looked like a... a comet. It was a comet.
That romantic bastard.
He had always been so attentive to details like that, it shouldn't be surprising. And yet there she was, growing emotional over the little gesture.
The ring. Back to the ring.
"Uhh hello? Mon-El?" she called, bringing the object close to her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration. She tried pressing the little comet again. "Hello?"
"Kara?" an unprecedented voice uttered, causing her to scream, startled. A hologram had appeared from the ring, showing the man she had been longing to see. "Oh my god, are you okay? Is there a threat? Are you in danger? You know what? Doesn't matter, I'll be there in no time, just hang on!"
"Mon-El, wait!" He was distracted, however, and did not hear. "Mon-El! There's no threat, I'm not in danger." That caught his attention.
"Oh," he exhaled, relieved. "So, you're safe?"
"Positive," she replied, a smile stretching her lips at his concern.
"Ah, thank god." They chuckled, heartily. "Sorry about the over-worrying there."
"It's fine, we've all been there," Kara said. Her smile grew wider, her eyes sparkling with nostalgia. She had missed him. She had missed him a lot.
"So, uh, if you're not in danger, then why did you reach out?"
"Well, here's the thing..." She explained everything that had happened to him in one breath — well, almost everything. She hadn't mentioned his doppelganger kissing her, nor had she brought up their relationship being romantic in another world.
"Woah... that's a lot. I'm sorry you and Lena weren't able to figure things out, I know how much it means to you," he replied, once she was done.
"Yeah, so am I..." she agreed, pressing her lips together. "Anyway, uh," she shook her head, attempting to ban such thoughts and change the subject. "How are things there in the future?"
"Quite good, surprisingly." He chuckled, making her smile. "We actually defeated Brainiac not long ago, so no major crisis around..."
"That's great, I'm really happy for you." She couldn't bear how unnatural their conversation had escalated. She was starting to think she wasn't going to be able to bring up what she had initially wanted to talk about.
Mon-El stood in his familiar pose, one hand on his hip, the other lightly scratching the corner of his mouth, pensive.
"Kara, I don't want to sound rude, but I still haven't gotten the reason why you wanted to call me."
There it was. She knew how she had to reply, but the words wouldn't come out. She took a deep, cleansing breath to gather up the courage she needed.
"When I was stuck in the alternative reality, I talked to you. It wasn't really you, but you, nonetheless. You were all concerned about my well-being, and it came to a point where you kissed me. I was shocked, and you told me we were together. We talked things out, and in the end, you made me promise I'd try to contact this version of you once I got back." His eyebrows were raised in surprise, whereas she was frozen in place, awaiting his answer. Her breathing had stopped, her heart racing.
"Oh... that, uh, that explains it." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry for asking so many questions, but why, uh, why did he- why did I ask you that?" She cringed at that question. Was he really going to make her spell it out? Why was he doing that to her? Her eyelids were shut close, her face scrunched up, dreading what she had to say next.
"He wanted me to give our relationship another shot, said he couldn't... he couldn't imagine a world where he wasn't in love with me." Mon-El exhaled, mouthing a small "wow" under his breath. After few seconds of pondering, a mischievous smirk crossed his face.
"And what do you want to do?" His gaze was piercing, intense, his voice low and provoking, and she struggled to keep her eyes on his.
"I- well- I- you-" An amused smile graced his expression, as he tried to hold his laughter in. "Don't you laugh at me!"
"Yes, ma'am," he voiced, pressing his lips together to contain his grin.
"And how do you expect me to answer that question? I don't even know where you stand in that!"
"Hm, I don't think that's true. Now, didn't you just say that I told you I couldn't imagine not being in love with you?"
"That wasn't- it wasn't you!" He was loving to watch her struggle with her words, all flustered. "Wait a second." She raised a hand to her chin, seemingly having just come to a realization. "Are you saying you're in love with me, or something?
"That's exactly what I'm saying. Thought that was pretty clear."
"What?!"
"Look, Kara, I don't know why you're so surprised. My feelings haven't changed, and honestly, I don't think they ever will."
"But what about Imra?"
"We broke up even before we came back to the future. Wait, J'onn didn't tell you the marriage was arranged?"
"What? No!" she nearly yelled, voice pitch going an octave higher.
"Kara, I couldn't marry anyone if I had the choice, I was completely broken at the time." There was a long pause, silence engulfing them. Her gaze went from him, to the ground, and back to him
"Then why didn't you come back?" she enquired, her voice weak, a hint of sadness slipping between her words.
"We both know it's not that simple, Kara," he answered, less teasing and more comforting this time. "Plus, I still don't know how you feel, you haven't told me what you want to do next."
"Well, I..." She sighed, deciding to just be honest and see what would happen. "I would love to have you right here, with me. But as you said, things are complicated. I'm sure you have your duties there, a world to save and all. I can't be selfish to pull you out of it, even if it's for love."
"Yeah, hold on a second." He was gone, his hologram had disappeared from the ring. Kara felt her chest tighten, a single tear sliding down her cheek.
An intense wind current suddenly entered her place through the balcony windows. Without being given mere seconds to think, she felt weight crashing on her stomach, and not long after she felt herself being lifted from the ground. She let out a small yelp of surprise, before looking down to see what had happened.
Right below her was Mon-El, holding her with the biggest smile on his face. She put her hands on his shoulders, her mouth open with confusion, but wanting to break into a smile as huge as his.
"What- how- what are you doing here?" She asked, as he lowered her to the floor.
"I was tired of being selfless," he replied, nonchalantly. She chuckled at his response, playfully slapping his shoulder.
"But how did you get here so fast? And what about the legion, your friends?"
"See, that's an advantage of time traveling. It's been seconds for you, but hours for me. I've already bid everyone goodbye; everything is settled there." His hands were holding her waist, while she worked the information in her head.
"Are you serious?"
"Dead serious." She brought her hands to her face, not believing what he'd just said. Her eyes started to water up, his mimicking the action. She stared at him, trying to memorize his face. Needing to hold him tighter, she jumped on him, her legs around his hips, her arms around his neck, her face buried in his shoulder. He chuckled at the gesture, holding her just as tightly, deeply breathing her in.
"So, you're staying?" she mumbled,
"For as long as you want me."
"Forever then," she replied, giving his upper body a final squeeze. She raised her head from his shoulder, glancing lazily at his lips, before leaning in, and capturing his lips between her own. He was kissing her back with just as much love as she was feeling inside, hence she had trouble distinguishing the world around them.
When she pulled away, wanting to catch her breath, she didn't stay more than a few inches from his face. She watched his expression as he sighed contentedly, his eyes still shut. She quickly leaned in again, kissing his lips, his cheeks, his nose... simply expressing her inner joy, as she felt the vibration from his chuckles between their chests.
Suddenly everything felt bright and warm, shining like it never did before, and she knew that, as long as they stayed with each other, it'd always be like that.