C.J's POV
Every two seconds, I take a sip from my smoothie. I'm nervous that any moment now, he could walk through that door.
The knob is fumbled with before the door opens wide.
"Daddy's home!" I here and I turn to see Sammy opening his arms and the boys walking in behind him. Nate and Johnson jump onto the couch and whip out the Xbox One remotes.
"What's up baby girl?" Sammy says sitting down next to me, putting his arm around me.
"Sammy, I don't-"
"Shh." He whispers in my ear, biting and sucking at my sweet spot.
"Sammy stop." I whisper but he throws me onto my back. He hovers over me before diving into my neck. I look over at Nate, but he's too into the game to notice what's going on.
Sammy presses his lips against my jawline, working his way up to my lips.
He grips my waist and pulls me into him.
"Sammy, I don't wanna be doing this right now. Please. Not with them here." I look over at the boys.
"I can tell them to leave." He says kissing my neck again.
"Sammy-boy we gon head out." Nate claps his hands together.
"Yeah. We met these hotties at the beach and we told them we'd meet them there today." Johnson says laughing. They leave.
"Well goddammit C.J. That's your problem. You're never ready. Face it, you're not with him and after what you did to him, he doesn't need to forgive you, but he already has. You just keep fucking up so you're making it harder for him. You guys can't be together if you can't learn to stop pushing people away."
"I'm not the one pushing people away. He is. I don't know why everyone is on his side. Im not the bad guy here."
"He is." Sammy says looking down.
"That's not what I said."
"That's what you meant."
"Sammy, I'm sorry for getting you all involved. This wasn't supposed to affect anyone else."
"C-"
"No, Sam. It wasn't okay for me to just drag you all into this mess and just act like a bitch about it. I truly do apolog-"
"I love you."
I immediately stop what I'm babbling on about and look up and him from my fingers. The look in his eyes, I've never seen before. I couldn't describe it. He looked down and I just didn't know what to say.
"Please say something." He says and I feel tears forming in the corner of my eyes.
"I-I-"
"Say it. Anything. Please."
"I think you should leave." I say getting up from his lap and walking upstairs. I don't turn back.
-
My phone rings. I rub my eyes and check the time. It's 4:21 am. Goddammit. I missed it.
I look at the screen and see its Matt. I immediately answer the phone and say hello. No answer but I listen closely to something I hear in the background.
"Matt! Yes! Oh my god!" Screaming, moaning. I try to listen for Matt.
"Baby, that was so good." The girl says.
"You ready for round two?" She asks him.
Silence.
"Mhm." He groans then the noises start up again.
I quickly hang up and throw the phone on the ground, smashing it and running downstairs.
-
Matt's POV
"You ready for round two?" Lucy asks sucking on her index finger. She touches herself. One, two fingers, pumping. She throws her head back and starts playing with her breasts.. "C'mon Matt. You know you still want me. Look at you-" She climbs onto my lap, grabbing me. She slides her hand up and down making it hard not to come. "-you're still hard for me. You can't get enough of me." She slides me inside her, riding me, throwing her head back. She grabs my hand and places it on her breast. She presses down and squeezes my hand on it. She moans before crashing her lips onto mine, cupping my face and quickening the pace. She kisses down my jawline, down my neck, sucking, biting.
"Lucy." I moan.
"Stop." I say.
She looks up at me. She stops moving. I take the opportunity to push her onto her back and smash into her.
She screams.
"Say my name."
"Matt." She whispers.
"I said say my name."
"Matt." She says.
"Scream my fucking name!"
"Matthew!" She screams. I kiss the corner of her lips, down her neck, suck on her hardened nipples. The sweet sound of her moan pleasuring me. I forgot how it felt to be dominant.
I grab her waist and pound into her three more times before coming undone. I lay on top of her. As we both lay there, catch wring our breath.
"Matt. I've never seen this side of you." She says entangling her fingers in my hair.
"I try to save it for the people who deserve it."
-
"Matt, baby." I'm awakened by Lucy shaking me.
"What?" I rub my face.
"You dozed off after, well, you dozed off."
"I need a drink." I get up from the bed and walk downstairs. I open her fridge and find a full fridge, unopened box of beer, fresh fruit in containers, yogurt, eggs, milk, juice of every flavor, this is heaven. I grab a beer and walk over to the couch. I turn on the tv and scroll through the channels before I feel a hand roaming my body. It stops.
"You're always hard for me, aren't you?" She starts to palm me through my shorts.
"Lucy, stop."
"Why baby? Don't you like it when I touch you?" She pulls her hand away.
"You only use me for sex."
"That's not true Matthew. I love you."
"And I loved you. But you ruined everything for us, for me. I can't trust you anymore."
"Matt." She rubs my forearm but I shake her off.
"No. Don't." I get up from the couch and run upstairs to grab my stuff and leave. I should've never came here. I need to go home.
-
C.J's POV
I love you.
His words are all I can think of.
Sure we hooked up once. He's a real turn on. He couldn't possibly love me. He had tons of other girls that would kill to be with him. Why would he choose me?
Sammy was sweet, and hot, and amazing, and everything a girl could want. But after everything I put him through and after--I just can't.
I can't even process that.
Sammy Wilkinson loving me.
What was there about me that he loved?
I'm a complete whore.
I get with every guy I'm closed to.
I don't have a job.
I can't hold a man.
I'm basically a hot mess.
I don't know what there is left to do on my list of things on how to screw up my life any more.
I need to talk to Bunny and get something off my chest. A few actually. Maybe, i'll even start a list on a some of the things I should do to help improve my life.
I get a piece of a paper and a pencil and start thinking.
1) tell bunny about taylor. (maybe michael and junie and also about sarah in tenth grade)
2) tell taylor im sorry for taking advantage of him.
3) tell sammy
I leave that one alone til later because I dunno what to write.
4) take mickie's advice
5) go to cam
6) matt
7) fix everything
8) apologize to everyone who's gotten into this.
9) rip this and throw it away when you think you've accomplished everything.
I set the pencil down and fold the pink sheet of paper and slide it into my back pocket.
I think I should start today. With number five.
-
a/n
this chapter was stupid but it kinda really matters.
k bye.